Notes:  Reflections, Shaz, MM, and Evelynz suggested it.  So, here we go.  By the way, Kate didn't die.  Ziva is still going to be joining the team but Kate's alive.  New Director warning as well on the NCIS side.

Cordelia looked up from her bed.  She was having major headaches due to her visions.  She knew they were killing her.  Angel and the others were trying their best to help her find a way to not die but right now, she was getting another one and she really wanted to go.  Just to make the pain stop.  She screamed as the vision hit her, grabbing and clutching at the first hand that hers hit while she was in it.  She squeezed her eyes shut, hating this one a whole lot.  She whimpered, then it stopped and she panted, coming down slowly.  "Phone," she said weakly once she had her breath back.

"What?" Wesley asked.

"Phone.  Xander."

"You need to tell Xander?" he asked.  She glared and he got the phone for her.  It took a small hike down to the lobby, so he could tell the others on the way.  "She's had another one," he announced.  "She said she needs to call Xander for some reason."  Angel gave him an odd look.  "That's what she said.  The first thing she said."  He brought the phone back up to her, dialing it for her.  "There you go, Cordelia.  The Magic Box."

She hit the send button and listened to the cheerful voice on the other end.  "Willow, it's me," she said, sounding very tired.  "I need Xander here tonight."  She grimaced. "I don't give a damn, get him here."  She hung up and looked at him.  "We've got problems and it's not an Angel slaying sort of problem."  She made herself sit up.  "Help me into the shower.  I need to be cleaner for this talk."  He carried her in there then left her alone to deal with her own hygiene issues.

***

Willow hung up and grimaced at the phone.  "Xander!" she bellowed.  He came out of the basement with a curious look.  "That was Cordy.  They need you in LA ASAP or sooner."

"Why?"

"She wouldn't say.  Just that she needed you there.  She said she didn't give a damn but you had to be there by tonight."

"Okay.  Think I should bring weapons or just bring her chocolate?"

"I don't know.  She sounded tired and sick," she admitted.

He just nodded. "Okay.  I'll be out of slaying contact tonight then.  Someone tell Anya."  He went back to his inventory.  He had an hour or so before he could really leave town.  He didn't want to leave Willow alone in the store and Giles wouldn't be back from helping Buffy for about an hour.  He came up with the completed inventory then gave her a look, getting a shooing motion.  "You sure?"

"It's daylight, I'll be fine.  Not like anyone's going to mug me," she said dryly.

He gave her a look.  "You can't catch bullets."

"I won't have to."

"Fine."  He walked out, heading for his car, smiling when he saw Giles pull in.  He waited long enough to see the older man get out.  "Cordy called; she needs me in LA by tonight.  Willow's in the shop by herself."

"I'll head in once I get some lunch," he agreed.  "Any idea why?"

"Nope.  Willow talked to her.  Said she sounded tired or sick."  He got in his car, driving off, humming with the radio.  It was a nice three-hour drive.  He knew the back roads so he didn't get stuck on the parking lot that was the interstates around LA.  He'd make it there long before the 'tonight' deadline ran out.  He was even thoughtful enough to stop and get her some of her favorite chocolate.  He finally got there around nine that night, walking in with the small box.  "I'm here," he called as he walked in.

Angel nodded.  "She's in her room."

"What's going on?"

"She won't tell me," Angel said grimly.  "Um...  Did anyone tell you about her visions?"

Xander held up a hand.  "She did, Deadboy.  I know.  That's why I brought her chocolates."  He walked up the stairs, finding her room easily enough.  It smelled like perfume.  He tapped then walked in, looking at her.  "You look rotten."

"I took a shower, feel special," she quipped, grabbing the chocolates.  "Sit, it's not going to make you happy."

"Of the demon's going to take me and use me worse than Anya does not happy or of the dying not happy?"  He sat on the foot of her bed.

"Worse.  The Powers That Be have decided to interfere with a recently shut down project.  I just got a head's-up that the interference was going on *long* before they found Buffy."  He nodded once.  "And they're panicking because you screwed up the future too many times."

"I tipped over the chessboard so they did what?"

"They..."  She ate a piece of chocolate while she thought how to put it.  "They decided that after this generation, there won't be any more super studs to handle things."

"Should I go find a cape and tights?" he sighed, staring at her.

She smirked.  "I remember the last time you wore those.  I still have the picture somewhere in my underwear drawer."

"Willow posted it online," he said dryly.  "Anya cooed and said it was good my dick grew since then."  Cordy choked.  "You die tonight, I'm going to have to make Willow bring you back," he said while she coughed and calmed herself down.  She glared at him.  He just grinned.  "They did what because I'm so good and studly?"

"They decided that there's not going to be any more heros so they made Walshy make some."

"Excuse me?"

"Yuppers."  She ate another chocolate with a grin.  "Willow and you need to go down into the base.  You need to get into B-5 and B-8.  For some reason I saw both of those doors.  They were super sealed and one has a computer.  One has physical files.  You're going to be pissed.  I saw you blowing the whole base once you had scoured it again."

"Uh-huh," he said slowly.  "When?"

"Now.  Now's good.  Their other base is about to be raided and if you don't want your daughter and son to disappear into the ether of the military special projects database, I'd go tonight."  She handed over what she remembered.  "This is what I got.  At the bottom is one of the other fathers.  He can stop them from going into hiding again."  Xander nodded once and stood up.  "Come to him with proof, Xander.  You'll need it."

"Am I going to find a set of Powers and beat them?"

"Sure, please do.  Have them pass on my visions while you're at it."

Xander grinned.  "If at all possible, Cordy.  How many?"

"It's a mess," she told him. "You'll be pissed.  Explosives pretty but remember to scour the base first.  They left stuff behind and you'll probably need the cash to set stuff up."

He just nodded and walked off with the paper, going back to his car.  "Deadboy, there's going to be an explosion in Sunnydale soon.  It's not an issue, you don't have to run up and save Buffy.  Though she might like a call since she had to get ten stitches after the last demon decided he wanted a free peep show."  He walked out and slammed the door, getting into his car.  He called Willow once he had it started.  "Start gathering a pack for us.  We, you and I, and just us, are going down into the Initiative's base.  Cordy's vision, Willow.  We have to go tonight.  I'm going to need yo to hack stuff.  Plus we're scouring things.  Because the Powers That Be interfered and I got told it was because I'm so damn good they didn't think they'd have heros in the next generation."  She gasped.  "So get packs ready.  I can be home in two hours if I hit the right roads."  He hung up and pulled out of the parking lot, heading for the back roads again.  They weren't really well patrolled and he could speed up.  He knew them well enough for that.

***

Xander walked into Lowell House, finding the two agents who were guarding the base in there.  He coughed.  "There's stuff hidden down there."

"No, really?" one said dryly.  "You can't go down there, Harris."

Xander held up the report, making him grimace.  "I was told to go down there.  I have to visit that section and find what's up, also to clean up the dead bodies.  By the way, I was told I had the right of demolition."  They gaped.  He smirked.  "I think the Powers are higher than the Pentagon.  If you don't, bite me."  He walked around them, snatching one's ID pass.  He tried to get it back but Xander knocked him out.  Willow got the other one.  He got them into the elevator and down to the base's level.  "Let's find this section."

"Sure.  B-5 and B-8, right?"  He nodded silently, leading the way to the control room so they could look at the map.  She found it first and tapped.  "Here.  That's under the woods."  He looked then pointed at a locked gate marking.  "I can get us past that."  He nodded and followed the appointed hallway.  Their guards met them in front of it.  "Move, boys.  If Cordelia was right, we've all got issues and some of them are yours."  She took her laptop out of her backpack and found her key card adapter, sliding it into place.  A few clicks into a program and it was finding the proper code for the door to open.

Xander looked at them.  "I was told who to call once we found it.  It's going to get messy.  I was also told to scrounge and clean the place out before I bombed it."  Both guards shook their heads.  "We'll see.  If she's right, it's not going to take explosives."  He walked in once the door was open, staring at the hospital ward.  "Willow?" he asked calmly.  "Can you test the goo on one of the beds?"

She moved to do that with the kit she had brought while he found the filing cabinets Cordy had mentioned.  "It's Replessor blood," she announced.  "They're generally harmless."  She looked over at the silence.  "Xander?"

He waved the file.  "She's right."  She walked over and took it from him, and the guards took it when she went pale.  Xander looked at them.  "So, explosives or not explosives, gentlemen?"

They both stared at him.  "Who were you to contact?"  He handed over the information.  "I'll fax this to him from the command center, Harris.  Any idea?"

"They managed to remove them to another base.  They're somewhere that's about to be shut down."  That got a nod and one of them hurried off.  He looked at Willow, who was reading off her laptop.  "Why them?"

"They're breeders.  They can carry any demonic race's babies."  She stared at him.  "You don't think...."

"No, I'm pretty damn sure," Xander told her.  "Go find the other room.  It should have the computer.  I... we're going to need the files."  She nodded, going to do that.  He went back to the filing cabinet.  It had a lot of notes he'd need translated.  Genetics was not a field he was familiar with.  He finally gave up and went to scrounge around, finding plenty of things that shouldn't be down here.  He got the bags out of his pack that Willow had packed for them.  "Willow, I'm going to start piling demon parts," he called.  "Half of these are rare as hell."

"Sure, Xander."  She brought out her bags and handed them over, then went back to her hacking.  There was some serious crap on there that they hadn't had before.  She didn't want to acknowledge that anyone was this bad but if Cordy had said the Powers interfered, she knew there was a good reason.  Why they thought Xander wasn't going to let there be more slayers and other people to step into the fight in the future she wasn't sure.  But apparently he was.

***

Somewhere in DC, a fax machine started to go off.  The agents in that row frowned.  None of them were expecting anything.  "Get that, McGee," Special Agent Jethro Gibbs ordered.  He went back to his report. They had just solved a case and were finishing up so they could go home.  He wasn't quite watching his youngest team member but when he froze while reading something he noticed.  He got up to take it from him and read it, then he growled.  "DiNozzo."

"Yeah, boss."  He looked up, taking the held-out paper.  He looked at it then shook his head quickly.  "Can't be."

"Can be," McGee countered, handing him the other papers.  "They sent the full file, Tony."  Tony snatched it and read it over, starting to growl.  "Boss?"

"Find the original organization.  Do it now.  I want them found within an hour.  If this is real, we'll have to step in.  Calm down, DiNozzo."

"No!"  He stood up.  "I apparently need to head to California."

"Let us find them.   Or better yet, call the number on the bottom of the last page.  That's handwritten."

DiNozzo found it and dialed his desk phone, putting it on speaker.  "This is Special Agent DiNozzo...."

"Good, it did get to you," the voice said.  "We have Harris and Rosenburg here.  They got told about this project.  We had no idea, sir.  They're cleaning up the base right now and getting the rest of the information."

A new voice came on.  "You are?"

"Special Agent DiNozzo.  You?"

"Xander Harris.  Look up a project called the Initiative.  They're the ones who did this.  The offspring were moved to a different base from what we can tell.  The person who told me about the project said that other base is about to be raided and the kids placed in foster homes or whatever."

Tony took a deep breath.  "I'd like confirmation."

"So would I, Agent DiNozzo.  I'm thinking if we can find them, we can do DNA.  Because there's no way in *hell* someone else is taking care of what's mine.  So, can you help or are you going to stand in our way?"

"No, we'll find this second base," Gibbs told him.

"You would be...," Xander asked.

"Gibbs, his boss," he noted patiently.  "We need all you have."

"Willow, they need the records you're hacking," he called on his end.  "Sorry, she's in another section at the moment.  This section was a locked and gated section so we didn't have to come in here when we took them down."

"I want to come out there," Tony told him.  "Tonight."

"During the daylight is best.  You'll die after dark if you're not careful and with one of the group."

"How do I get there?"

"Go to LA, rent a car.  Head to Sunnydale.  Go to the Magic Box.  We'll be there," Xander told him.

"I can do that.  I'll be there by tomorrow."

"That's fine.  If you find them, can you stop the kids from being removed?" he asked more quietly.

"For now.  I can have the boss do that.  Are you all right?"

"I'm going to blow up this former base once it's cleared of information and parts.  It'll make me feel better."  He hung up.

Tony looked at McGee, who was typing.  "Find it yet?"

"The secondary base?  They used three.  I'm looking at requisitions to find which one the kids are at, Tony."

"I'm making travel arrangements," Kate offered, clicking her mouse.  "I can get you to LA if you can leave now and get on a flight in about an hour and a half."

"That'll work.  Thanks, Kate."  He headed off. "Reagan?"

"Dulles."

"Even closer.  Thank you.  Be back soon, boss."  The elevator doors shut.

Gibbs looked at them.  "Get me that information sooner, McGee."    He saw the redhead stomping down the stairs and looked at Kate.  "Send him the info?"

"Already did, Gibbs."

"What are you doing?" the director demanded.

"Someone took DiNozzo's sperm and made him a kid.  They're hiding him on a military base.  He's going to find him," Gibbs said succinctly.  "Any other questions can wait until we find the kids."

"You're to stop this search now.  That is a classified...."

McGee snorted.  "Ma'am, politely, screw yourself.  If it were my kid, I'd be pissed to.  Tony didn't give them permission to make him a father and take his child."  She gaped.  He went back to typing.  She stomped over but Gibbs caught her and handcuffed her to the filing cabinet.  "Thanks, boss.  I've narrowed it down to two."  He showed him. "They've both got baby items requisitioned.  I'm thinking it's the second by the amount they've ordered."

Kate came over to look.  "They've both got to have some.  Maybe the others are from another experiment."  That got a nod.  "What do we do, Gibbs?"

"Go there, shut them down," he ordered.  "I'll have orders for you by the time you land."  He grabbed the phone and started to call.  "It's Gibbs.   I don't give a damn if he's getting a massage or not.  Put him on.  Because someone made DiNozzo and others a father without his consent and then took the kid to raise on a military base."

McGee got up and grabbed the phone.  "Someone just called from Sunnydale and the Initiative base, sir.  Your choice if we do this officially or not."  He handed it back and handed Gibbs what he was printing off.  "The original base's reasons for existence."

Gibbs looked it over.  "Crackpots with a research grant?"  McGee turned his monitor around to show him the file he had found, making him turn away at the torture.  "Turn that off."  He listened to the crankier voice.  "I don't care, sir.  Because DiNozzo just found out that someone named...."  He looked at the papers.  "Doctor Maggie Walsh made him a father without his consent."

"They handcuffed me," the director called.  "I tried to stop him."

Gibbs listened.  "Exactly.  Who called?  Someone named Harris and Rosenburg."  He smirked.  "So they took down the group.  Good to know.  No, from what they were talking about, it's more than DiNozzo who's suddenly finding out they're a parent.  I've been told by Harris that the bases the kids are on is going to be raided and the kids redistributed.  I'd like to stop that plan and hand them back to their parents.  Do you have a problem with that?"  He smirked.  "Didn't think so.  I need all the files here.  I'm sending Kate and McGee to stop it.  I'll go if I need to, sir," he agreed.  "That'll be fine. Send it here.  Want the Director?"  He handed her the phone and walked off. "Kate, you're going to Florida.  McGee, I'm heading to Texas.  Orders will be here within two hours.  Make plans, you're staying to gather the files and make a case.  We'll be finding the parents so this sad chapter of military crackpot theory is closed."  He finished his trek for new coffee, coming back to find a messenger waiting on him with a file.  "That all?"

"No, sir.  The rest is coming.  This is the program information on the part of the Initiative called the Solomon Project."  He handed it over.  "From the General's hand to yours, Gunny."

"Thank you, son."  He saluted him and the guy left.  He sat down to read it, ignoring the still handcuffed director.  She reached for a page he had put down but he glared and she backed off.  "McGee, they've got at least sixteen children."  He handed over that list.  "Find their birth certificates and other information."  He nodded, sitting down to do that.  "Kate, this is the list of which ones you're going to stop from being moved."  He handed it over.  "Also here's the desist orders."  He handed those over.  "Call me when you get there.  Do whatever you have to, including involving local base personnel.  Am I clear?"

"Yes, Gibbs."  She headed out, going to catch the flight she had planned for.

Gibbs took the rest with him.  It was not going to be a pretty night.

McGee got up and got the director a bottle of water then went back to his searching.  He wanted these people to suffer.  You didn't do that to his military.

***

Tony walked into the Magic Box, looking around.  "For some reason I expected this place to be more crowded and creepy."

"It's California, we're creepy in different ways," the woman behind the register said.  "Can I help you find something?"

"Harris."

"He's in the office.  Xander?" she called.  He came out.  "He's looking for you?"

"Yup, sure is.  Willow, he's here."  She brought out her laptop so he could go through the files.  "Did you find them?"

Tony looked at him.  "The boss did," he assured him. "He and another team member went to stop them from moving the kids, Mr. Harris."

"You might as well use my first name."  He pointed at an entry.  "We're related now."  Tony looked then moaned.  "What do you want to do first?"

"I need to send this back to McGee."  Willow got into her email program for him, zipping the file and attaching it to a message.  He typed in the email address and sent it on.  Then he looked at them.  "I want to see the base."

"We can do that.  There's two guards there to make sure no curious people or other demons move into it."

"Demons?"

"Demons," Willow agreed.  "Sorry but that's what they were supposed to be doing.  They were supposed to be categorizing and making demons be the new grunts in the military."

"Uh-huh," Tony said grimly.  "We funded that?"

"Very well," Xander told him.  "And a lot of side projects being done in it.  Like drugging the soldiers to test them."  He nodded.  "We can go.  Giles, do you want those last few parts?"

"Please.  I can use them."  He glanced at Xander then at Anya, then back.  Xander shook his head and walked out with the young agent.  "Anya, we should talk about what's going on," he said calmly.

"Why?"

Willow looked at her.  "Because the Initiative took DNA and made babies, Anya.  Including one between those two."  Anya dropped the shiny thing she had been playing with.  Willow nodded.  "That was what Cordy's vision was about.  The Powers stepped in to make sure there'd be enough fighters for the next generation. Something about Xander screwing up a prophecy."  She shrugged.  "So we're figuring out how far they went and if there's just eggs in a freezer somewhere or if there's actual babies."

"There can't be babies.  I'm not a mother," she said, glaring at her.  "How could he do this to me!"

"He didn't have a thing to do with it," Willow told her.  "He didn't know.  If he had, don't you think you'd have seen the baby by now?"

"I won't stand for this!  I'm not going to be a mother!  Mothers are poor and they have to care for them and they have to sacrifice nice things so the baby can have things!  I'm not doing that!"

"Then I suggest you break up with him," Willow said bluntly.  "Because Walsh liked Xander's DNA.  There might be more than one."  Anya wailed and walked off crying.  She shrugged at Giles' odd look.  "Best get it over with.  Like a bandaid that has to come off."  She took her laptop back into the office, logging onto a chat room and going to find the guy Tony had sent the information too.  She had other information he could have if he was a nice enough person.

***

Gibbs walked into the base commander's office, presenting him with the order.  "Shut it down, do not harm or move the children," he ordered coolly.

"Who are you...."

Gibbs pointed at the paper.  "Signed by the president.  The parents found out.  They're a bit pissed.  One's apparently got demo experience."  The commander went pale.  "Now, where are they?"

"In the nursery," he said with a shaking hand, pointing at a building.  "Doing the educational programming part of the day."

Gibbs nodded.  "You're to be confined to base.  Call back all personnel.  Do not touch those children except for immediate care needs."

"You are?"

"Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS."

"This is an Army base, Special Agent...."

"Tell that to the president.  ACIS is on its way."  He stared him down, watching him sweat.  "I can call if you think that's a fake."

"No.  We'll lock the base until ACIS is here."

"She was landing right after I did.  She'll be here any minute now.  Call back all personnel."  The door opened and a cool, blonde woman walked in.  "Lieutenant Colonel Hollis."

"Special Agent Gibbs."  She shook his hand. "We meet again.  Why?"

"There was a special project called the Initiative."

"I loathe that place," she admitted.  "So?"

"They decided to make some future soldiers as well."

She gaped.  "They did what?"

He pointed at the building.  "That's a nursery."  He handed over the file he had carried.  "That's what I got handed."

She looked it over then the desist order.  She nodded.  "Works for me.  Close the base.  Call back all personnel.  This base is hereby in lockdown by presidential order.  Argue and be in the brig."

He nodded, making those calls.  "There might be a few off base.  One needed to see a specialist about his back.  A birth defect."

"Any children that're supposed to be there are to reappear within the hour," Gibbs told him.  "We can find a new specialist."  That got a nod and he made that call as well.  He looked at her.  "Handle this?  I'm going to check on the children."

"Agreed.  The other base?"

"I sent Kate.  She flew overnight."

She smirked.  "That's mean."

"Mean was leaving my director handcuffed to a filing cabinet when I walked out.  That was hours ago."  He walked off, heading to the nursery.  Someone unwisely tried to get into his way.  "The President said these children are going to their parents," he said coolly.  "Move or be in the brig."

"I can't do that, sir."

Gibbs held up his ID.  "Yes, you will."  The soldier shook his head.  "Now, sergeant."

"Sir, my orders...."

The blonde opened up a window.  "Announce it," she ordered.

"This base is hereby in lockdown," he said over the speakers.  "All personnel are to report to their stations.  No one is to move from their post until ACIS or NCIS says so.  We have a desist order, people."

The sergeant grimaced and looked at Gibbs.  "The children?"

"Going home to their rightful parents."

The sergeant nodded. "Then I'd go in there before someone panics, sir."  He let him inside.

Gibbs walked in and coughed. "NCIS."  Everyone glared at him.  "Don't try it.  You won't like my foot up your asses before you hit the brig."  He took the fussing baby from one man and put him back down.  "There, quit."  The baby stared at him.  "We'll take care of you."  He looked at the workers.  "Report to your quarters."

"You can't take care of sixteen children," one of them protested.

"I don't trust you to not hurt them," he countered.  She sniffed at that.  "If I could, I'd let you stay."

"Sir, I'm not moving," one said from his seat in the rocking chair with a baby.  "This one's mine and I'm staying."  Gibbs looked at him.  "I was Initiative, sir.  I found out last month.  I got myself transferred here on purpose when someone let it slip during a trial of one of our scientists."  He smiled at the baby in his arms.  Then at him.  "I'll stay."

Gibbs nodded.  "That's what we had planned, son.  You can stay.  The rest of you report to quarters."  They left with the MP's the ACIS lieutenant colonel had brought with her.  He walked over.  "He's how old?"

"Six months."  He smiled.  "A few are a bit older.  A few are newborns.  The one you put down needs a clean diaper."

"I can do that."  He went to change her, making her a happier baby.  Then he put her back down.  "How many are missing?"

"Three.  Two are at doctor's appointments.  One's been gone for two days.  The person who has him was his father, one of his fathers anyway, and escaped."

"We'll need to see him and the child to make sure of that.  Plus to find the other parent."

The soldier nodded, pulling out his phone to call someone.  "It's Graham.  NCIS and ACIS just stepped in to bring the kids back to their parents.  They want to see that one to do testing to make sure he's yours and to tell you who the other father is."  He smiled.  "We're here.  Please.  Thank you.  You do?  That'll work.  Great, man, thanks."  He hung up.  "He's got the other two as well.  He knocked them out and took them to try to save them."

Gibbs nodded.  "I don't mind that.  It's a good thing in my book."

"Thank you, Special Agent..."

"Gibbs."

"I've heard of you."  He smiled and went back to cuddling the baby.  "How did you hear?"

"Someone told a Mr. Harris."

"Ah.  Them."  He nodded.  "Harris always manages to do something unexpected.  I'd watch out for that trait.  It's not often a construction worker, two lesbian Wiccans, one other female college student, and a former librarian turned shopkeeper can take down a military unit."

"I saw that."  He sat down.  "What happened?"

Graham smiled.  "Ask Harris.  He tells it better and he even does voices.  You're about to get pounced."  Gibbs looked at the child sneaking over, pulling her into his lap to hold.  "You're good."

"Thank you.  You too."

"I'm learning."  He smiled at his son.  "Ready for a nap?"  The baby yawned and sucked on his fingers.  "I know, it's been a long day already.  We'll nap."  He got up, walking him into the other room to put him down.  "Can I change the tape?"

"Put it on PBS if you can.  It's educational and only slightly annoying."  The tv channel was changed and all the older toddlers gravitated toward it to watch the brightly colored, singing creatures.  They hadn't seen them before.  It was something new.  Gibbs looked around then at the woman stomping in.  "Thanks for the backup."

"Not a problem.  Kate had to call in local law enforcement and another base's MP's to help her.  Fortunately she got them before she went.  They went in like an invasion force."

"Good.  She okay?  She hasn't called."

"She's fine.  We have three kids at the gate?"

"Two were saved by a father who found his and rescued his child."

"That's fine.  I had the MP's bring him in here."

"He was taken hostage by us," Graham told her.  He looked over.  "Hollis."

"Graham Miller.  Why are you here?"  He held up his son.  "How did you find out?"

"Something one of the scientists said at his trial," he said dryly, smirking some.  "So I casually got assigned here."  One of the older kids pulled on his hand.  "Yes, Trish?"

"Play money?" she asked, smiling at him.

"Sure, we can play with the Monopoly game."  He sat down to play with her. She didn't play it correctly but it was fine with him if she only wanted to plant houses and play with the money for now.

Gibbs looked at Hollis.  "Abby's doing the DNA."

"Agreed.  She's better and faster."

"Thank you."

"Not an issue.  Are we moving them all together and then finding parents or leaving them here and then finding parents?"

"I'm not sure yet.  We can figure that out in a few."

"Good enough.  Let me finish locking down personnel."  She looked around then at him.  "Only one person?"

"There were five, I sent them back to quarters."

"Decent of you."  She went to find them and lock them in their dorms. She had enough personnel with her to keep anyone from sneaking off but she didn't want to have to hurt anyone.  Yet.  She found the MP's dragging in the other guy.  "He's a father who managed to rescue his.  He was a hostage and used, boys.  Be nicer."  They nodded and quit dragging him.  She went to debrief him and Graham.  This was not what she had been expecting out of the little side projects this horrible idea had been doing.

***

Tony looked at the front of the building.  "They built it under a frat house?  As a frat brother, I should be horrified and offended."

"They threw parties here too," Xander said dryly, looking at him, earning a smirk back.  "I'm sure yours did too."

"Quite often," he agreed.  "So, this isn't that big."

"It's underground."  He led him inside.  "Hey, guys, this is SA DiNozzo from NCIS.  The one I had you guys fax stuff too."  The new guard gave him an odd look.  "Don't make me hit you too."  The other two laughed.  "Your boss?"  The two older guards nodded.  "That's fine."  He looked at the new boss.  "The Initiative made kids too.  Including one of mine."  The boss hissed and backed up.  "So we're going down there."  He pulled out the card key from the night before, waving it.  "I'll give it back once I've blown the place up."  He ran it through the reader, getting an error message.  He looked back at the boss, who handed over his after a glare from Tony.  He knew what outranked meant.  "Danka."  He ran it again and it went through this time.  He waved a hand.  "It's safe," he told Tony, who nodded and got inside.  "Heading down there.  It'll be a while.  We won't call out for lunch or anything," he said just before the doors closed.

"How did he take down a military unit?" the boss asked.  "He's a goofy kid."

"With construction and explosives experience," one of the guards told him. "It was his battle plan during graduation, sir."  The boss moaned.  "Plus they had that Buffy girl too."  That just got a nod.  That about said it all.

Xander led the way off the elevator.  "This isn't the command level.  This is the overlook and behind us are some of the stunning examination areas."  He looked at him, seeing him gape.  "They built all this without anyone in town realizing it.  No one saw any construction going on.  No one saw a *thing*.  And it's all underground but an air port in the woods, a hidden exit near the air port, and the frat house."  He opened the door behind them, showing him the exam table with leather cuffs for feet and ankles, plus a dangling strap that would've gone around a waist.  There was blood and goo on the bed, making Tony shudder and cross himself.  "Yeah, they were like that.  This is the American version of Nazis as far as we can tell."  He looked at him.  "And they made us a child."

Tony patted him on the arm.  "We'll figure it out, Xander.  I never really expected to be a father."

"Yeah, I expected to die before it'd happen," Xander admitted.  Tony gave him an odd look.  "I'm on the local hunting squad.  We take down those who're eating others."  That got another shudder.  "We don't torture, we're not mean about it, but we reduced the death rate to below twenty percent."

"I guess I can't fault that," he decided, letting Xander lead him on to show him around.  They headed down the stairs to the command area, letting him see what they had.  "Did your hacker friend download everything?"

"And then some.  They vanished after the second ass-kicking," he told him, leaning against a work station.  "Willow and I came down here to find the written records that hadn't been put onto the computer yet.  We have about a storage closet full of them."

"We'll probably want them."

"Get a copier," Xander told him.  That got a nod.  "That way we can find anything else they've been doing.  We know they tested steroid and drug compounds on their soldiers.  We know that they put control chips into them.  We know that they're assholes who deserve to be rotting in hell instead of some prison.  Some did go to prison.  Willow got talked to by someone in ACIS about some of the scientists being arrested."

"Not you?"

"They saw me as support staff," he said bluntly, giving him a look.  "I get a lot of that."  Tony just nodded once.  "So, want to see the other areas?"

"How were the kids born?"

Xander nodded and walked him to the room he had found.  "This one was where they kept the maternal demons.  There's a few breeds that can carry any sort of demon or human or crossbreed baby.  They apparently found that out somehow and used a bunch since it wouldn't stress their systems."  He pointed at the messy beds.  "As you can see, they extracted them in a hurry.  I found one skeleton in the other room.  I'm not sure if that was the labor area or not but it's basically a room done in tile with a shower."  He let him see it and the skeleton.  "No infant with it so I'm not sure if they took it with them or not."

"Would..."  He looked at the skeleton, clearly not human.  Then at him.  "Would that hurt the kids?"

Xander gave him a gentle smile but shook his head.  "No.  They'd be a comfy womb, nothing more, Tony.  It'd be like implanting the offspring of two great race horses into a draft horse for her to carry.  That's what Willow said when I asked."  That got a nod.  "There's no taint and those aren't unholy.  They simply *are*."

"That's good."  He swallowed and looked around again, seeing the amount of tables.  "The boss left me a message on my phone.  He said they found about twenty kids."

Xander shrugged.  "We found more but that doesn't mean they were all born alive.  I'm sure your people can find them all then find the parents."

Tony nodded. "They're being given to their parents.  Gibbs already made sure of that.  He has presidential orders to stop this."

"I didn't figure our present one would like this too much.  Doesn't really go with his stated morals."  Tony gave him a look.  "Not real fond of him."

"If I comment I could lose my job," Tony said, shrugging a bit.  "What else was there?"  Xander led him around the rest of the base, finishing off with the things he still had to carry up.  "What are those?"

"Parts.  They're fairly valuable to the right people and I'm going to use them to start a fund to take care of the kids while they're in custody.  Someone's got to buy diapers."

"That's not a bad plan," he agreed.  He even helped him carry stuff out to Xander's car.  Then he looked at the front of the frat house.  "Now what?"

"Cordy promised I could blow it up."

Tony gave him a look.  "The government might not like that."

Xander grinned.  "She's a seer for the Powers That Be, Tony.  If she saw it, it'll happen."  He gave him another strange look.  Xander just grinned brighter.  "Someone's got to be over this mess."

"If it's blown up, it could damage the other buildings on the campus."

"I'm thinking there might be a reason for that," Xander told him.  "Maybe it's meant to get a bunch of the after-midnight snacking population out of the way.  Maybe it'll stop something bigger from coming.  Who knows.  She promised I could blow it up."

"We'll see," Tony told him with a small smile.  He could like this guy.   He was a lot like him it seemed like.  "What do you do for a day job?"

"Construction worker.  You didn't do a background?"

"I left after we got off the phone.  I'm sure someone has but no one's told me yet."

Xander grinned.  "Don't believe the hype anyway, Tony."  He patted him on the arm.  "Come on, we'll go back to the Magic Box and talk.  I should get to know the mother of my child."

Tony snickered.  "I think I'm the daddy, Xander."

"You sure?  Because you know, my sperm's super powerful.  That's why they used me so often."  Tony shook his head.  "Three times.  You only got used twice."

"I wonder why."

"Don't know.  Walsh got stabbed by her super Frankenstein creature.  Maybe Willow can ask her spirit if she can find her in hell."  He shrugged and got into his car.  "Need directions?"

"I'll follow you."  He went to his rental and got in, heading back with him.  He needed to check in and he needed to get an update.  Then he needed to talk to the...other parent of his child.  Before things got stranger.

***

Xander and Tony both flew back to DC on the same flight.  It had been commanded from on high so they were both dressed nicely when they met Gibbs at the airport.  "Boss, this is Xander Harris," Tony introduced.

Xander shook his hand.  "Special Agent Gibbs.  How're the kids?"

"They're good, Mr. Harris."

"Xander, please.  I'm not formal.  I'm a construction worker."  That got a nod and they walked out together, their carry-on bags with them.  "Did we move them all together?"

"We did," Gibbs told him, nodding a bit.  "Any checked luggage?"

"And have it eaten?" Xander asked dryly.  "No thanks.  Trusting an airline with your baggage is like trusting a diabetic with real chocolate.  Now and then they resist eating it but not always.  I don't make enough to replace my wardrobe."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Relax, Xander."

"I'm nervous.  I never thought I'd be a dad.  I thought I'd end up dying first."

"You are a father.  Now we'll figure out the rest."

Xander nodded.  "The other parents?"

"We're doing DNA tests to find them.  We've identified a few others.  We're going to tell you all together.  That way you can talk to each other, meet each other, figure out custody and those things faster."

Xander nodded.  "That is an issue.  My girlfriend just left me.  She didn't want to be a stepmommy."

"I wasn't going to mention Anya if you didn't," Tony told him.  Gibbs glared at him.  "Worse than anything I've dated, boss.  Really."  He looked at Xander.  "You can do better."

"She's the only one who hasn't tried to kill me yet," he complained.  Gibbs stopped and stared at him.  Xander nodded.  "The Xander appreciation society is a bit homicidal.  Cordy only tried to kill my self esteem and spirit.  Anya only wanted sex and money."  He shrugged.  "It was good enough.  I was about to propose."

Gibbs shook his head.  "You'll find someone better, kid.  Maybe DiNozzo can introduce you to someone nice."  He started walking again, wondering about the kid.  The background check they had done hadn't come up with anything unusual or spectacular.  He'd have to ask DiNozzo since they had spent the last two days together.  He could usually read people fairly well.  They finally made it out to the car and got in, Xander taking the back seat.  Gibbs looked at him.  "We're putting you in the same hotel as the others."

"That's fine.  I don't care as long as it's a bed and a shower."

"It's a bit higher class than that."

"In other words the Pentagon is highly embarrassed?" Tony asked.

Gibbs nodded.  "Upset and embarrassed.  They sent someone to take over when Walsh was killed."

"Yeah, we met him too," Xander said dryly.

"How did you take them down?"

Xander grinned. "Magic."

"Don't ask, Boss.  Really.  Just don't ask.  There's strange and freaky things out there.  I saw it in action when Miss Rosenburg decided to do a hair spell on Miss Summers.  Just don't ask."

"I'll ask later," Gibbs told him, backing out of the parking spot and driving off.  The parking fee was paid quickly and then they were on the highway.  "I've seen two of your three, Xander.  The other one came back with Kate and is a bit shy.  She's hiding behind Kate at the moment."  Xander grinned and nodded.  "The other two like to get into things.  One's not crawling yet and he's getting into things somehow."

"That's a Xander for you," he quipped, relaxing again.   "How many other parents?"

"Ten.  Two military, mostly scientists and CSI types.  They went for brains."

Xander raised an eyebrow. "How many of the scientist types were Initiative?"

"Two of the soldiers were," Gibbs admitted.  "A Graham..."  Xander shook his head.  "Know him?"

"Very well.  His squad leader was dating Buffy for a while.  Is Riley the other one?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Then I won't kick their asses this weekend.  They're not relatives of mine, right?"

"No.  Both their kids are with each other.  She was trying to keep the military types separate from the scientist types.  I don't know why she used you more frequently than most."

"I'm strong, I've survived this long.  I'm good at planning battles and hunting," Xander told him.  "I've got some other stellar qualities that you'll probably never see because I've submerged them in my head for a while now.  I'm fairly resistant to being sick.  In eighteen years on the hellmouth I only broke my arm once."  Tony gaped.  "Yeah, doing that fighting stuff for two years before I broke my arm.  Lots and lots of falling into things with my head first, but I only broke my arm that once," he finished more quietly.

"Then they probably went with a stable base.  Disease resistant, strong, intelligent, able to do the physical things," Tony said thoughtfully.

"I'm all that but intelligent.  School and I aren't good friends."

"Did you take the SAT?" Gibbs asked.  Xander nodded.  "What did you get?"

"1100 but I had a straight D average in high school."

Tony shook his head.  "That proves intelligence, Xander.  Not everyone learns in a classroom.  I didn't."

"Out of the twenty parents, you two accounted for four between you," Gibbs told them.  "So you're probably right, DiNozzo."

"Can we look at the files first, boss?"

"You can look at them then, DiNozzo.  Try to rest tonight.  We'll hold the meeting in the morning when the last person comes in."  That got a nod from both of them.  "Try not to get drunk tonight."

"I don't usually drink," Xander assured him.  He watched the scenery go whizzing past.  "Will we have time to sightsee?  I doubt I'll be back anytime soon."

"You could stay," Tony offered.

Xander gave him a small smile.  "I helped take down a military unit, Tony.  I don't think they want me around.  There's got to be those who see me as a threat or else they wouldn't have used me.  The same as they do you."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Are any of them yours?"

"No, kid.  They couldn't get a DNA sample apparently.  Our lab tech said that they used semen and regular DNA to code the babies somehow.  She was going into detail and I don't understand that."

"Me either," Xander admitted.  "I barely made it through biology."  They pulled off the freeway and into a crowded street, heading for a hotel.  "That's nice."

"Very," Tony agreed. "Do we at least get a list?"

"You'll recognize most of them," Gibbs told him.  "You're all on the same floor.  All but one who's coming in very late tonight."  He parked in the dedicated parking garage and got them out, taking them inside.  "Two more," he told the clerk.  "Harris and DiNozzo."  Tony gave him an odd look.  "It's easier if you're here, DiNozzo."

"That's fine.  I should probably stop at home to get some clothes."

"I had Abby pack."

"Did she pack the leather or real clothes?"

"I made her pack real clothes with the leather," he said, then he smacked him on the back of the head.  "Play later."

"Yes, boss."  He looked at the clerk, smiling.  "Need ID's?"  He nodded so they handed over their ID's and got their room keys.  "Thank you.  Any itinerary for tonight, boss?"

"Calm down, think, relax, stress," he told him, walking them off to the elevator.  Xander looked at the envelope around his key then pushed the button inside.  They went up to the right floor, getting off and heading different directions, Xander being followed.  Xander even waited until he was in his room to look at him.  "I like DiNozzo."

"I'm not finding much I don't like about him," Xander told him.  "I'm not going to be mean to him just because he works for you, Gibbs.  I'm willing to give the other parents a fair shot as long as they don't take my family away from me.  They're about all I have left."

Gibbs nodded.  "That's what I'm worried about.   Some of them have strong families."

"Then they won't mind me having visitation or even partial custody."

Gibbs smiled.  "You'll work it out, Xander."

"I hope so.  I'd hate to have to slay someone tomorrow."

"Please don't.  We'll have to pay for the damage."  He gave him a look.  "Weapons?"

"On a domestic flight?  Are you insane?"  Gibbs gave him a long stare.  "I left them at home, Gibbs.  I promise I did.  Not even a pocket knife.  You know they take those things."

"Thank you."  He left him alone, going to check on Tony.  He found him collapsed on his bed, one arm over his eyes.  "You all right?"

"Nope.  Still having scary thoughts about being a father."  He looked at him.  "I don't know what I'm doing yet, Gibbs."

"For now, think about how much custody you can really handle."

Tony nodded. "I know Xander wants custody.  I might not mind but I'd want to know more about him first."

"I think he'd agree to that readily.  He just told me they're about all he has left."

Tony snorted.  "Don't get me started, Gibbs.  I'd rather he moved somewhere else first then took custody."  Someone tapped on the door.  "Who is it?" he said, moaning as he sat up.

Gibbs answered it, looking at the man standing there.  "CSI Taylor."

"Special Agent Gibbs.  What is going on?"

"We're going to brief everyone tomorrow."

"Half the people here aren't military."

"Less than half," Tony told him.  "I peeked at the records."  He yawned then laid back down, putting his arm back over his eyes.  "You're going to have a headache tomorrow, Detective.  Stock up on the aspirin now.  Please.  That way you can share."

Taylor looked at him then at Gibbs.  "Further explanations?"

Gibbs looked at him.  "You'd rather hear now?"

"I would."

"Fine."  He led him off, taking him to talk to him with Xander since he knew.  He tapped on Xander's door, smiling when he opened it but was down to a t-shirt and pants.  "This is Detective Mac Taylor, Xander.  We're going to go over some of the information tonight.  I figured you two should meet because he can introduce you to someone else you will have to meet."

"Sure."  He let him inside, handing over the file from his bag.  "The condensed version of what Willow found in the files on their computers.  I found more in the physical files but we sent that off to you so I can't search for more information."

"We have them and it's in a nice presentation.  McGee got nervous and decided to get creative."  He flipped through it then looked at Taylor.  "You'll want to sit."

"Why?"  He looked at Xander.  "Military?"

"I helped take down the unit that got us all called here," he said grimly, sitting down.  "Sit, really.  They were doing some genetic experiments."

"On me?"

"No, on your kids," Xander told him.  Taylor shook his head slowly.  Xander nodded.  "They decided to make you some.  Me some, you some, his guy Tony some.  There's a bunch of them.  They were also experimenting on their own people and doing experiments that led to torture and pain."  Mac sat down on the end of the bed.

Gibbs handed him the folder.  "Read."  He took the other chair at the table.  "Someone told Xander and he told Tony so we went to stop them from moving the kids, Mac."

Mac stared at him then started to look over the notes.  "This can't be," he said halfway through.  "How did they do this?"

"I'm from Sunnydale, Detective," Xander said, earning a shudder.  "Ah, you've heard of us," he said with mock cheer, grinning at him.  "I'm on the hometown protection patrol.  We had to bring them down.  They were trying to create a monster that would've killed  a lot of people and then we had to go back and do it again because they were still going on with the torture and stuff.  They had a friend," he said at the harsh look.  "I'm not leaving a friend with torturing, sick bastards.  Not with what we know they did."

"How bad?"

"The video files made me sick," Gibbs said simply.  Mac looked at him.  "Even the countries that condone torture wouldn't have allowed this."

"They were trying to make our shadow population be the new grunts after they figured out what they could do the hard way," Xander added.  Mac shuddered and went back to reading.  "I got told and went to check on the information I got given.  When we found evidence of this, the informant I had said to call Tony since he was involved and they were going to move some of the kids again."

"They were.  One of the bases was going to be shifted," Gibbs agreed.  "We and ACIS stopped it, Mac.  Kate got one base, I got the other.  We decided to move the kids together so you guys could make the hard decisions about custody and those things."

Mac handed back the folder.  "When can we see them?"

"I planned on briefing everyone tomorrow at ten, then letting you all drink lunch or look over the files we have.  Then we'd see the kids that afternoon."

"How old?" Mac asked, hands on his knees.

"The oldest is about two.  The youngest is newborn.  The two youngest came from their own people.  They wanted to keep the pure military ones separate apparently."

"Walsh was sick that way," Xander agreed.  "Can I blow up the base soon?  Cordy said I could."

"We're still talking about that.  Especially with it being under a college."  Xander grimaced but nodded.   "Was it cleaned out?"

"Fully.  I did everything but sweep the corners.  I even took out the printer paper.  Willow needed it."

Gibbs nodded.  "Not like we'll mind this week."  He looked at Mac again.  "I thought it best if we went over it together."

"Who did the DNA testing?" Mac asked.

"Abby."

"She's good."  He stood up.  "I need to think."

"Of course you do," Xander agreed.  "I have been since I found out.  We all need to think.  Rational things will help the kids more than being emotional and panicking people."  He grinned slightly.  "Not that I think you're going to be a panicking person but some will."

"No, I'd have thrown a fit if I heard this tomorrow.  Can I tell the others?"  Gibbs shook his head.  "They'll be mad."

"Let them.  This way we only have to drag the files over here once.  We're still going through the last box looking for others.  Just in case."  That got a nod and Mac left the room.  He looked at Xander.  "You did good."

"Thank you.  I have *no* idea what I'm doing after this.  I live on the mouth to hell.  There's a high death rate and I do dangerous shit.  How am I supposed to help raise them?"

"Then move," Gibbs told him, standing up.  "You can do that.  Construction work is available through most of the country.  Find somewhere safer, kid."  He gave him a pat on the shoulder before leaving him alone to think.  He knew Mac would slip the information to a few others.  It'd keep the shouting down in the morning so he didn't mind.  He got cornered by the elevator by one pissed off redhead.  "Caine."

"Gibbs.  What happened?"  He let him have the folder.  He flipped through it then glared at him.  "The people responsible?"

"Gone.  Mostly in jail, some dead.  The ones over the kids ACIS has jurisdiction over.  They're going to jail if Hollis has her way."  That got a single, slow nod.  "The kids are all together.  We're going to tell you all the facts tomorrow, let you go over the information we have, then go see them."

"I see I have one."

"You do and the young man who's the other father is determined he's going to have at least visitation.  That's something to work out later.  After you've looked over everything, seen the kids, all that."

"I live in a dangerous world."

"He lives in Sunnydale, Caine.  He helped bring down the group.  His is worse."  Horatio growled.  "Exactly.  So think.  We'll talk tomorrow when the last person gets in."  He took the folder back.  "By the way, if you try to muscle that kid, you'll probably lose."  He pressed the button for the elevator, then looked at him again.  "He's as tough as I am but he's still young."

"If they're mine then they're mine."

"They're not just yours," Gibbs reminded him.  "They used two parents, Horatio."  The other man walked off.  Gibbs got onto the elevator and headed down to get the last few on his list.  Kate had gotten some while McGee and Abby finished with the files.  He met her in the lobby.  "Any more?"

"The one coming in at two.  I've got him.  How many know?"

"A few."  He nodded at the ones who were done checking in.  "Go rest, guys.  We'll talk tomorrow at ten."  He walked off, going back to his car.  It was not going to be a good weekend.

***

Horatio found the young man in question.  He knew most everyone else whose name he had seen on the lists.  He sat down across from him in the restaurant, weathering the look the boy gave him.  "I think we should talk."

"I think we should too but I'd rather do it once you're calm and rational.  I don't need to be screamed at.  I got enough of that when my girlfriend dumped me for this."  He ate a bite of his burger.  "Want some of my fries?"

"No, thank you."  He stared at him.  "You're how old?"

"Twenty-one, almost twenty-two."  He ate another bite and chewed quickly because the other man was giving him a death glare.  He sipped his soda then put down all his food, looking at him.  "Before you say I'm young and I can have more, I can't.  I probably won't.  I will fight you if I don't at least get a good bit of visitation.  I'd prefer at least partial custody and I'm a bitch when I have my back to a wall.  I'm an end-game fighter and I've proved it a whole hell of a lot in my town.  Now, we can work this out, and we can be civil, or we can fight and it'll be bad on all three of us.  I'm more than happy to be civil and work things out."

"This would be my only one, Mr. Harris."

"My name is Xander.  Use it."  The other man gave him a stunned look for his cold tone.  He leaned closer.  "I'm not the easiest of people, whoever-you-are."

"Horatio Caine.  Lieutenant Horatio Caine, Miami-Dade Crime Lab."

Xander nodded.  "Gibbs said a lot of us were CSI.  I'm not.  I know I don't have the college education you have.  I know that I'm not pulling down the big bucks.  I can tell you that I will love and protect that child with everything in me.  I'm even prepared to move and give up the dangerous stuff I do nightly to protect him.  Are you?"  Horatio shook his head.  "Then we can work it out so I at least have visitation."

"He's my..."

"Our," Xander corrected.  "They used both of us in the same way, Horatio."  He waved at the waitress.  "Can I get a box?"  She nodded, bringing him one.  He paid her and gave her a smile.  "Thank you."  He put his food up and looked at him again.  "I'm going back to my room.  If you want to come talk in a civilized manner, we can do that.  I don't want to fight in public.  No one else has to know about the problems that created this situation.  It won't do the governing body any good and I respect them even if I did help bring down this problematic little unit."  He stood up.  "I'm up in 1134 if you want to talk."  He walked off, heading to the elevator.

Horatio watched him go.   He was nearly growling in frustration.  The kid had walked away from him.  He hadn't listened to him.

Tony looked over from his seat.  "Don't threaten him, Horatio.  He's got enough stress as is.  He's a nice guy once you get to know him.  If you did that, it might help you both.  He could use more friends, especially supportive ones who gave a damn about this stuff."  Horatio glared at him too.  "Hey, glare away.  You're not worse than Gibbs."  He sipped his coffee.  "It's only going to get harder from here.  If you stay pissed, it won't help anyone."  Horatio got up and walked off.  Tony went back to his dinner.  He didn't want to eat but he knew if he didn't he'd be in trouble later when he didn't have the energy to argue with the people who'd be replaying the same scene with him.  He was watching the lobby as a distraction from his thoughts.  That's why he saw the director come in and nearly sneered.  She was dressed in a feminine business suit with a skirt and heels.  "How very Barbie of her," he muttered, eating a bite of his salad.  He waved and she stomped his way.  "Director."

"Agent DiNozzo."  She put her briefcase on the table and sat across from him.  "What are you going to do about this situation?"

"I don't know yet.  We're working on that once everyone knows tomorrow.  The boss set the timetable and I think it's a pretty decent one.  We all need some thinking time and political pressure will only make it worse.  I'm hoping none of us snap and do something rash."  He ate another bite of his salad.  "Why?" he asked once he swallowed.

"This is an embarrassment to everyone."

"We're not the ones who did it," he reminded her.  "To us, this is a bit more personal and our families.  We'll figure it out among ourselves and let the higher ups know.  You can tell them I said that."

"We'd like for it to go away."

"I doubt you're going to get to kill them, Director.  At least six of us would mind."  She gave him a horrified look.  "As for shutting us up?  Don't know about them.  I know that Hollis is working hard to make sure they all go to prison.  I'd support her doing that.  That way no one else would get a bright idea if there's any embryos left.  Otherwise?"  He shrugged.  "I don't know yet.  Come apply political pressure Sunday night.  By then most of us should have an idea about custody and those things."  He ate another bite.  He grabbed her hand when she picked up her briefcase.  "Out of the twenty of us, only six know so far.  Doing it now will only cause more problems.  Coming in Sunday is not only humane but more sensible."

"Are you done?" she asked.

"No.  Because if you create a mass of problems for us, it'll take us much longer to work things out.  We've got enough problems without political pressure not to out the program."  He stared at her.  "But you already knew that, didn't you?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Then come back Sunday night with a proposal.  Then the nice CSI upstairs can counter it or accept it."  He let her go.  "Doing it now would only get you beaten or screamed at."  He ate another bite, nodding at Gibbs when he came back.  "Boss.  Kate?" he asked when he saw her.

Gibbs whistled, bringing Kate back.  "Director.  I take it the higher ups want this to go away?"

"As soon as possible, Agent Gibbs.  As quietly as possible."

"Come back Sunday night with a proposal.  Some might sign a hush agreement.  Some might not want to.  Doing it now will only lead to more drama and it'll take longer to calm them down and get them thinking about the necessary things."

"Why not tell them now?"

"One won't be in until two," Kate told her.  "I'm supposed to pick him up."  The director glared at her.  "Go for it.  I'm sure we can see if you were involved too."

"I was not!"

"Then quit acting like you're covering your own six," Gibbs told her.  "This is an emotional issue, not a political one.  Let the emotions be blown over then come back with the politics."  He looked at Tony.  "You're not done yet?"

"I paused to watch Horatio and Xander have a fight."  He ate a bite of his peppers, then chewed slowly.  "Xander told him where he was, laid out what he wanted and would accept, then told him to come talk to him when he was calmer.  Then he walked off."  He ate another bite, using it to clean up the dressing at the bottom.  He finished his coffee and stood up, putting down money for the waitress, earning a smile.  "Thank you."  He walked his boss off.  "Do we want to do this tonight?"

"We couldn't get him on an earlier flight or he'd already be here, DiNozzo."

"Boss, half of them will want to know," Tony reminded him.  "Mac and Horatio would've talked already.  The others who know might have too.  Xander probably hasn't.  I think he's hiding and letting the emotional storm blow over before he gets hit by someone."  That got a nod.  "Maybe letting it slip isn't a bad idea, but it's going to get to strangulation levels of anger for some of them."

"I know.  That's why I let it slip tonight.  So they could get the anger out of their systems faster."  He patted him on the arm.  "Go back upstairs, DiNozzo.  Get a movie, rest and think.  You've got the same problems the others do."

Tony nodded.  "I know.  Thanks, boss.  Later, Kate."

"I'll see you tomorrow.  I'm on guard duty then with the kids."  That got a nod and Tony headed back to his room.  She looked at Gibbs.  "Is this wise?  It will turn into a screaming match for at least one set."

"It'll be fine," Gibbs assured her.  "Better now than where the kids can hear it."  He looked at the director.  "Try again Sunday, Director.  When they all know."  She huffed off.  "Remind me to talk to someone about her," he muttered.

Kate smiled.  "About time."  She walked off, heading back to her car.  "Going back to the office to check on Probie and Abby, Gibbs."

"Thank you."  He went to get some coffee and headed back himself.  He needed to know what else had been found out.

***

Gibbs walked into the meeting area, closing and locking the door.  They all gave him odd looks.  "It's better if you can't storm out at the moment."  He put down the box in his hands.  Then he looked at them.  "Some of you know why we're here.  Does anyone not know?"  The late arrival raised his hand slowly.

Xander looked at him.  "Let me start since it was in my town, Gibbs."  That got a nod.  Xander looked at him again.  "I live in Sunnydale and there was a special research and ops unit that moved into our town.  They created a base underground, decided to torture beings to see what they could do in the hopes of getting new grunt level forces for the military, and did other odd, nefarious projects on the side.  They doped their own people with super steroids and drugs.  They put control chips in their people.  They killed a bunch of creatures and people.  And they decided to mess in genetic futures."  The cop looked confused.  "They did the mix-a-lot thing in a dish and created kids based on the head scientist's idea of what the future needed in the way of guardians and protectors.  We're here because we were all used."

"No way," he said with a grin.  He looked at Mac.  Who just nodded.  "You're joking, right?"  He looked less sure at the second negative head shake.

"I'm afraid not," Gibbs told him.  "What Xander didn't tell you was that a group of people out there overran the program and got them stopped.  Twice."

"One of them they had a friend.  That was the objective," Xander said more quietly.  "The second time we stopped them."  He looked at him again.  "I got information that led me to go back there looking for more files.  They had a locked section the hacker we worked with didn't get into.  That's where we found the information in the box Special Agent Gibbs carried in.  I called his guy, who told him, who got onto the higher ups, and the kids were found."

"I want to see proof," Horatio said.

Gibbs shoved the box over.  "In there are the pertinent files sorted for each child.  Both parents names are on the tab.  Find yours, Horatio."  He got into the box, finding his name and passing it down.  "Abby and McGee did the whole presentation if anyone wants to watch it."  They all shrugged so he let it play.   He saw a few softer looks at the pictures of the kids.  "In their folders are also copies of their birth certificates."

Mac looked at him.  "We'll see them when?"

"When you're all done.  They're in a safe and secure location.  ACIS and we have been guarding them for you.  There's two of you missing.  They used some of their soldiers as well but they found out before Xander did so one of them was there already.  Also, we found out that they had taken one of the fathers hostage.  He had managed to escape and take his child with him.  He's with the children."  He looked at Horatio.  "You're going to be more upset."

"I saw his name," he said calmly.

"I saw him for breakfast.  He needed more diapers.  He and the two soldiers are there with theirs since they already knew.  One managed to get assigned to the base when he found out."  That got a mass nod.  "We're leaving it up to you about who gets custody, who gets visitation, and what's going to happen after that."

"Why so many with Xander's name?" Don Flack, the late entrant, asked.

"We think they wanted a sturdy baseline to explore from," Tony told him.  "Him and me both, Flack.  We're both pretty healthy.  We've fought off major diseases.  We don't get injured easily.  We both have a lot of the same skills.  We're the next step up from their own soldiers and they could get ours easier because of sperm donation."  Xander nodded at that.  "Plus he was local and one of his friends was dating one of the soldiers."

"Who is with the other kids," Xander agreed.  "He helped us take them down the second time."  He looked at the folders.  "Are mine in there?"  Horatio handed his over.  "Thank you, Lieutenant."  He looked at the picture, smiling.  "He's adorable."

"He is," Horatio agreed quietly.  "Do you work?"

"I work construction."  He looked at him.  "Being snotty to me won't help you."  That got a few gapes.  "Okay, let me say this in public since he heard it yesterday.  These are probably the only children I'll ever have.  I'm going to fight to at least get visitation, I'd prefer at least partial custody.  I'd also like to be civil.  I can be civil if others can.  But I will warn you that trying to take full custody and leaving me without anything will make me fight you.  You don't want that."  He handed the folder back to him.  "My others please?"  They got handed down.  One from Tony, one from a Latino man next to Horatio.  "Thank you."  He looked them over, smiling at their pictures.  Then he looked at Gibbs.  "For those of us who aren't technical, were there any spare embryos left?"

"We think they did have some stored.  I'm not sure what we're doing except making sure no one but the biological parents can use them."  That got a nod.  "I'm not sure how many.  McGee is tracking that down today.  They only found that last night with a lot of searching.  Can you calm down now?"

"I am calm."  He looked around then at him.  "Can we go over?"

"In a few, Xander," Tony told him.  "Let the others get into the information files.  He stored the rest of the files in my room if you needed the bare bones research files.  Boss, can we go over sooner?"  Xander and he didn't need the science stuff and getting Xander there would mean he'd calm down faster.

"Whenever everyone's ready," Gibbs told him.

"So we can see 'em, hold 'em, all that?" Don asked.

"Then you can work out custody among yourselves."

"Though our director will be back Sunday night to try to convince you to not talk about it," Tony added.  "We drove her off once already."  That got a few more nods.

"The president himself saw the bare facts that Xander sent us, one file and the basic research notes of it.  He signed the desist order and told us to clear this up quickly, quietly, and give the parents their children," Gibbs said.  "Anything else is politics."

"They were stopped?" Mac asked.

"Walsh, who was over this, was killed by the creature she was making," Xander told him.  "She was originally in charge."

"The others?" Horatio asked, staring at Gibbs.

"ACIS is putting them away as fast as they can," Gibbs told him.  "Before this they had half the scientists already sentenced.  Now they have more to go after."

That got a mass nod.  The Latino guy waved a hand.  "What about baptisms and those things?"

"No one's said anything that I've heard," Gibbs told him.  "I do know that they were showing the older toddlers some educational propaganda.  Basically Sesame Street with a military theme."

"Then my mother will shriek but call the priest first thing," he decided.  He looked down at Xander.  "You wouldn't mind splitting it?"

"As long as you don't cut me off totally?  No," he said quietly, giving him a look.  That got a smile.  He got up and got some water from the pitcher in the corner, coming back drinking it.  "Do you need me to call Willow to help, Gibbs?"

"No, they've been talking to her.  She found McGee online and started a conversation about what they had and what your group had in the closet from the raids you had done earlier."  That got a nod and another sip taken.  "I talked to your Mr. Giles."

"I'm not dating Giles, Gibbs.  What did he say?"

"That it'd be reasonable if you wanted to move.  He told me to tell you that they kept Anya out of your things again."  Xander just sighed but nodded, taking a longer drink.  "He said Willow's got it locked specially so you'll have to find her when you go back."

"I can do that.  Thank you.  Did you call?"

"I wanted to make sure we had copies of everything."

"I think we're keeping the copies and you're getting the originals.  After all, the courts would want original documents," he said.  "Will they need us to testify?"

"Not that I know of.  Have you yet?"

"Willow did at two of them."

"You?"

"No one seems to see a lot of what I do," Xander said grimly.  "I got served with notice that I could be called but they decided not to at the last moment I guess.  Either that or he took a plea."

"He probably took a plea.  Most of them did.  Out of the fifteen trials only three haven't."  Xander gave him a small smile.  "What about your informant?"

"Cordy?  She'll live, for now.  She's got brain problems that're slowly killing her painfully but they're working on it."

"Cancer?" Mac asked quietly.

"No.  Longer and stranger story, Detective.  Not the forum for that talk."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "Can we go yet?"

"Whoever's done we can take over in a first wave," he agreed.  Xander and Tony stood up, so did Don Flack. "You sure?"

"I hang out with science guys but it's not my thing.  I'm the person who kicks down the door and chases the bad guy, not the guy who looks through the microscope to find him.  Mac'll explain it to me if I have questions."  That got a nod and he followed the other two out.  "Hey, kid?"  Xander looked at him.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  It's been a long week, Detective."

"Don."

Xander grinned.  "You can use my name too.  I don't mind."

"Sure, I can do that."  They got into the van Gibbs pointed at, heading over to the big warehouse the kids were being housed in. "This is..."

"Forties prison movie cheery?" Tony suggested when Don couldn't find a word.  "It's safe.  It's better inside I'm sure."  They drove into the building and parked, letting them out.  He smiled.  "Guys, this is Kate.  She's on my team at NCIS.  Kate, these are Xander and Detective Don Flack from New York."

"It's nice to meet you in person, Xander.  You as well, Detective."  She pointed.  "They're in there napping off breakfast at the moment."  Xander smiled, heading in there first.  She looked at them.  "Don't be scared, they cuddle but only a few bite."

Don grinned.  "I love kids."  He walked in there too, finding Xander struggling to hold all three of them.  "Why don't I take one for now," he suggested, sitting across from him to hold a little girl.  Xander grinned and let him.  "There, now the other daddy doesn't have to have three arms," he told her, earning a small grin.  "You're adorable."

Tony sat down next to Xander, taking his with him.  "Hi, precious."  She burped.  "That's a good introduction.  You sound like some of my frat brothers."  The baby patted at him.  "Good girl."  He smiled at Xander.  "Relax.  Calm down."

"I am calm.  I'm staying calm no matter who yells at me."  He looked at all the pitiful faces.  "You guys can come cuddle in too.  The other parents are coming."  They came to get their own lovies, letting Xander have his back so they could get their other ones.  Tony smiled at Xander's son, earning a beaming grin back from the seventeen-month-old baby.  "He's adorable," Xander told him.

"Thanks."  He grinned at the others.  "I've got more lap room, guys."  A few more came to sit with him and Don and Xander both got their share of attention too.  "Kate, the others are trickling over."

"I heard.  Gibbs has on an earwhigg, Tony."  She took a picture before walking off to check on the littler infants.  The rest came in two vans and got out.

Horatio came over to stare at the kids.  "Hi."  Xander pointed.  "That's my son?"

"That's your son."

Horatio took him.  "Let me hold you for a while, son.  Then we'll see what's going to happen."  He sat down on one of the cots, getting comfortable.  The baby stared at him, starting to sniffle.  He felt his heart tighten and kissed him on the forehead.  "There you are, son.  It's all right."  The baby calmed down.  He looked over at the sound of a moving person.  "Speed," he said quietly, making him flinch.

The other man looked at him.  "I cleaned it."

"We'll pull it back out and check," he told him.  "Are you all right?"

"No.  I'm healing."  Xander looked at him.  "They moved us two days before the last assault.  We heard about it, kid."  Xander nodded, still looking at him.  "I was stuck in the maternity ward's second room.  Along with a few others.  You wouldn't have found me."

"I'm sorry I didn't."

"Not your fault.  You did good."  Xander nodded, going back to the other two kids, smiling at the others who were still being sorted out.  He came over to sit on the floor next to Horatio and his son.  "He's sweet but he has a temper.  If he's not taken care of immediately he'll howl."  Horatio smiled at that.  "How's Alexx?"

"She's fine.  Eric's across the room."

"I saw.  I'm avoiding that bit of yelling for the moment.  There's enough emotional overflow in here."  Eric looked over, shaking his head.  "Yes there is," he called.  He smiled at the toddler climbing into his lap.  "Needed a cuddle and Xander's too full?"  He gave her a cuddle, then pointed.  "I think that's your daddy, sweetie."  She squealed and ran over to pounce Mac, making him smile and pick her up to hold.  He smiled at Xander.  "It's hard when they're clingy."

"We should probably take some of the stress off him," Horatio said quietly.

Xander looked at him. "This is the first time I've ever held children.  I'm doing fine for my first day.  Thank you anyway."  He went back to talking to them, making them all happy babies.

Speed nudged Horatio's thigh.  "Don't fight with him.  The kids deserve better than that, H."  He got up and walked over to where Eric was.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He gave him a hug, hearing him hiss.  "What?"

"Still a bit sore, Eric.  I escaped."  Eric turned him around so he could look at his back, hissing at it.  "I know.  It's nearly healed.  I've been doing good."

Xander looked over.  "I have a good ointment in my bag if you need it, Tim."  That got a nod and a small smirk.  "I've had many cuts over the last few years.  It works well.  All herbal too."  He went back to the kids.

"You've had cuts?" Horatio asked.

Xander looked at him then nodded. "Yeah, I have.  And a broken arm."  He looked at Tony, who was pouting.  He handed him his daughter, getting a smile and him cooing.  He smiled at his remaining child and the one on his lap.  "Where are your parents, young lady?"

"Over here," Eric called.  Xander pointed and she ran over to hug him.  "Hi, pumpkin."  He gave her a cuddle but she went running back to cuddle Xander some more.  "Seen them recently?"

"Nope.  This is my first time," Xander said.  "I was telling her a story."  He smiled and went back to quietly telling her the fairytale about the female knight and her trusty sidekick squire.  She even giggled when they slayed the dragon.  He looked around. "Gibbs?"  He came over.  "Why not Buffy?"

"Walsh's notes said that she was enhanced but it wouldn't pass on genetically.  It was an extreme recessive gene and only activated in certain circumstances."  Xander nodded at that.  "I'm not pretending to understand."

"Tony got that lecture."  That got a nod and he walked off to help with the one who was crying at Mac. "Hey!" Xander called.  "No fussing.  Cuddle instead of fussing."  She sniffled and gave her daddy the pitiful look.  "Sit down with her, Detective. I doubt the people who had them cuddled."  He went back to his two.  His daughter yawned and slowly drifted off, letting him watch Tony with his two.  They were comfy and content too.  "We do good."

"We do good," Tony agreed with a smile.  "She's beautiful."

"They all are."

Tony nodded.  "They all are but I can be biased and say that mine are prettiest."  Xander grinned and nodded at that.  "Now what, Xander?"

"I'm thinking about giving up the game and moving.  I don't know where yet.  I'll figure that out."  That got a nod.  "Somewhere with a lot of construction work and a low cost of living if I can.  I'll figure that out tonight."  That got another nod.  He went back to the kids, smiling at the other sleepy one. "Want to take a nap?"  She shook her head.  "I bet if you asked, your daddy would tell you a story too."

She walked over to an adult without kids at the moment, tugging on his pantsleg.  "Tory?" she asked, giving him a hopeful look.

"I can do that," Don agreed, gathering his own attentive harem to tell the story to.  Most of the kids went down but Xander and Tony stayed together with theirs.  He walked over, sitting across from Xander.  "I don't know what I'd do with a kid.  I live in a small walk- up in New York.  We'll figure it out, Xander."  Xander nodded, giving him a smile.  "You good?"

"I'm fine."  He went back to cuddling them until Kate came over  "Repossessing them?"

"Just putting them down so they can have a good nap.  Otherwise they'll be crankier than Gibbs when he can't drink coffee."  She took the kids carefully and walked them off.  Then she came back for Tony's two, then Horatio's son.  She smiled at Xander. "You're good."

"It's nice to hear."  He looked at Tony, then at Don.  "Got any ideas about custody?"

"I'm a confirmed bachelor and I work horrible hours," Tony told him.  "I'd like to visit and have partial custody."  Xander nodded at that.  "Do you think..."  Xander nodded.

Don grinned.  "I think we can work out how to split it and I'll keep my folks from nagging you."

"Thanks.  That'll be good until I'm comfortable with doing all the baby stuff," Xander agreed.  He looked at Horatio.  "Want to talk later?"

"We should," he agreed.  He shifted, looking at Speed.  "Excuse me, but we thought he was dead."  He walked that way, going to talk to him with Eric.

Tony stroked over Xander's shoulder.  "We'll figure it out, Xander."  Xander looked at him.  "We will.  We'll be as fair as we can."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Why are you worried about embryos?"

"Because I'm sure there was some.  Walsh liked to plan ahead.  She didn't start building her Adam creation until she had all the parts.  She wouldn't have started this without a good store of embryos.  Considering how fragile IVF is on them, she had to have more stored in case they didn't take or didn't implant right and there was a miscarriage.  With the way you and I were used more, I'm going to suggest we've each got some more there."

"It's a good thought," Don agreed.  "They'll find 'em and you can figure out what to do with them, Xander."  He patted him on the arm. "Let me go calm Mac down.  He looks like he's ready to hit someone."  He got up and went to talk to his buddy. "Hey, Mac."

"Don."  He smiled.  "They're good kids."

"They are.  We'll make great fathers and we'll keep Stella from spoiling them rotten."

Mac smiled and nodded.  "That might be nice, yes.  Danny too."

"Danny's a bit scared of kids but we'll figure it out."  He patted him on the arm again.  "Now what?"

"Now, we figure out who has primary custody and how we're doing visitation.  Then we deal with the pressure to not speak about this," he reminded him.  "Then we go home, hopefully with the kids, and figure out how to be fathers."

Gibbs nodded. "That's the current plan.  I have no idea if she'll block it if you don't agree."

Xander strolled over.  "She tries and I'm having her eaten."  He walked past him, going to check on his fussy one since he could hear her whimpering.  "Hey, precious.  Do we have nightmares already?"  He stroked her stomach until she fell back asleep, making him smile.  "You even snore cutely.  How cool is that?  Not even Buffy can manage that one."  He smiled at the two kids that hadn't been claimed, walking over to them.  "Do we not know their parents?" he asked the guard.

"One came up unknown DNA type.  One came up as a reference sample they took but they couldn't get a secondary donor," the guard told him.  "We couldn't find the one we had."

Xander looked at him.  "Ethan Rayne?"  That got a nod.  "I can have someone get hold of him."  He found his cellphone and called home.  "Giles, me.  Yes, they're adorable and I'll bring home pictures if I can't bring home the babies right away."  He smiled.  "No, I'm here with a baby that's partially Ethan's."  He stroked her stomach, watching her blink.  "Ah, you're like your mommy."  He smiled at the hiss Giles let out.  "Yeah, looks like it when she blinks.  They couldn't find him.  Can you tell him?  Thanks, Giles.  I don't know.  I'm still considering my options."  He smiled at the words of support.  "Thanks, Giles."  He hung up and walked over to the other one, nodding the guard over when he felt how heavy he was.  "Let's see if we can figure out who else's you are."  He tickled him, getting his fingers captured when the rock-like formations came out to protect the baby.  "Hmm.  Doctor Walsh was mean and used another of her test subjects."  He called Giles back.  "It's me.  Rock-like, heavy, blue eyes, looks mostly human but a bit more like tan granite?"  He nodded.  "There is one that's at least half, Giles."  He nodded slowly.  "So they'd hurt the baby?  Okay, any special precautions?"  He beamed.  "That'll be fine.  I can have someone take a blood sample so we can see."  He hung up and looked at him.  "My mentor can test and see what else he is."

"Thank you, Mr.  Harris.  We were wondering."

Xander shrugged.  "They're not all bad.  Some simply *are*.  It'd be better if they knew their own kind.  Send pictures too."  That got a nod and he went to find someone to take a blood and hair sample for the guys.  Xander walked back over to Gibbs.  "Those two I found the one's father, but she's a lot like her mother otherwise."

Gibbs stared at him for a minute.  "Will it show?"

"They're taller, gangly, hunched over just a bit.  The main thing is the blink and they were slightly more green in color.   Her daddy was someone that my mentor Giles gave to them for being a prick.  I had him call to see what Ethan wanted to do."  That got a nod.  "If I hear from him I'll tell him to give you guys whatever sort of statement since he's fully human and they were testing him too," he finished quietly.

"Thank you.  It could help.  What about the other one?"

"He's another halfie and Giles can figure out what his other half is, see if they'd be willing to claim him.  We know the main one, the one that's making him so heavy, wouldn't.  So we'll see within a few days."

"I'll make sure they have the right address.  Thanks, kid."

"I don't want to see them suffer."

"They'd probably go into foster care."

"The system won't take them, Gibbs.  Not with what they are.  Let Giles and I handle that part."  That got a nod and he went back to check on his own.  He found Horatio staring at their son.  "Is he asleep?" he asked quietly.

"Fast asleep."  He looked at him.  "You're going to adopt them too?"

"One's not fully human."  One of the others in the group gave him a horrified look.  "I'll explain it later."  He got a head shake and walked over.

"Not human how, Mr. Harris?"

Xander smiled.  "They're from other residents of Sunnydale.  Giles is finding his people."

The guy relaxed.  "That's good to know.  Thank you."  He looked at the baby. "He's adorable."

"He is but Tim said he had a temper," Horatio admitted.  "I don't know you."

"Daniel Jackson.  I'm out of another top-secret military project based in Cheyenne Mountain."

"Horatio Caine, Miami-Dade PD."  He shook his hand.  "Science?"

"Linguist and Anthropologist actually."  He smiled at Xander.  "I did a background check on you."

"Did it come up with anything?"

"Don't annoy, don't feed chocolate, and watch out for weapons."  Xander simply grinned at that.  "No explanations given."

Xander shrugged.  "It's like that now and then in Sunnydale.  Which is why I'm thinking hard about moving," he said at Horatio's horrified look.  He looked at Daniel.  "How many of yours?"

"One with the blond guy in the corner who's arguing with the other father of his other child."  He pointed.  "I don't know him yet."

Xander looked.  "That's....  I went over the records partially.  I think that's Detective Kowalski."  That got a nod and Daniel walked over there to stop the fighting.  He looked at Horatio.  "Talking later?"

"We'll be talking later.  I want to know about your life."

"It won't matter if I move."  He walked off, going to check on the other two, finding himself next to Tony and Don again.  "Hey."  He flopped down, resting against a cot.  The child on it reached up to play with his hair but he didn't mind.  "Sure, you can do that."  The little fingers scrunched a few times then went still and he heard a pleasured sigh.  He smiled at Tony.  "How are we doing?"

"I'm doing okay," he admitted.  "You?"

"I'm a bit pissed at Walsh but I know she's dead.  It's not worth the energy it'd take to bring her back to kill her again.  So I'll leave it as being pissed at the others in the group who knew."  He pointed.  "They were goon squad leaders.  They had no idea.  They were grunt and capture teams."

"Good to know," Tony said quietly.  He glanced at them then at Don.  "How's your other father taking it?"

"He's not happy.  I guess they used me as a baseline too."  He shrugged.  "Mac's ready to destroy people and can't."  He nodded and Mac came over to sit with them, letting the child on the cot he was leaning against snuggle into his back. "How are we tellin' everyone?"

"I'm going to call a staff meeting," Mac said simply.  "Bring the baby in."  That got a smile and a nod.

A young goth girl came bouncing in.  "We've got the last of the genetic tests done, Gibbs.  Just came out.  The two we didn't know of are found."  She handed them over with a bright smile.  "Can I cuddle now?"

"Go ahead, Abby."  He looked at them then at Xander.  "Kid, got you another one."

"With who?"  Gibbs pointed at  Don.  "Huh.  Which one?"  He found her and pointed.  "Aww.  She's adorable.  So I only have the one son?"

"So it appears."  He looked at the other folder.  "Taylor, found another of yours."  He pointed at one of the cribs.  "He's yours and Tony's."  He handed over the forms when they came over to look.

"Aww," Don said happily.  Mac simply smiled.  "That brings me up with Xander's total, right?"

"DiNozzo's.  You have one with Xander and one with Taylor.  Xander's got four now."

Tony smiled at Xander.  "You're going to have a whole sports team sometime soon."

Xander grinned.  "Hopefully they'll be happy with me."  That got a smile back.  He got up to get that other folder to look at, going to stare at the little one.  "Hi, baby."  She shifted in her sleep so he left her alone.  He went back to sitting beside Tony.  "Well, now what?"

"We wait for them to wake up."  They watched as the other father of Stanley Kowalski's other child fled the building.  Tony shook his head.  "Some people weren't going to take the news well."

"He'll calm down and think later," Xander told him.  He looked at Tony.  "I should quit, huh?"  Tony nodded.  "I don't know what I'm going to do if I do."

"Move somewhere safer, that's my opinion."  Tony gave him a pat on the back.  "It'll work itself out, Xander.  You've been through too much for it not to.  Karma owes you."

Xander smirked.  "Cordelia told me Walsh did this because I screwed up too many prophecies."

"Cordelia isn't always right.  After all, you haven't gotten to blow up the base yet."

"True.  I'll do that soon."  He heard a sniffle and looked over, but Horatio beat them to their son.  "Sure, you cuddle."  He sat down again.  "That's not going to be a happy talk," he muttered.

Tony patted him on the back.  "You'll work it out.  Gibbs can step in if he has to."  That got a nod.  "He's been divorced a few times.  He knows how heated the 'it's mine' discussions can get."  Xander let out a soft smile.  "Got any idea where you're moving to?"

"Low cost of living but Wiccan safe.  That way I don't have to worry about some things and if I break out in strange stuff it'll be excused that way.  A good job base is going to be important."

"Small town, small city, urban area?" Tony suggested.

Xander considered it.  "I'd rather have a small town.  They're more friendly.  I'm used to them and how they operate.  Where you know everyone within a few months would be nice."  He pulled out his phone to call the Magic Box again.  "Giles, it's me."  He smiled.  "Yeah, I think I'm going to tender my resignation but I need Wills to help me find somewhere safe to move to."  He nodded, smiling.  "I'd like that, thank you.  No, I'm up to four. I'm not sure.  My only son is being loved on by his daddy."  He beamed.  "Thanks, Giles.  Small town if possible.  Wiccan safe rating.  Low cost of living.  Probable job base."  He listened to her input that into a database she found online.  "Texas, Maine, Vermont, Georgia, and where?"  He shook his head.  "Illinois.  Okay.  Lowest cost of living?"

He nodded slowly.  "Georgia?  Okay.  Anything looking promising that way?  Because I've got four and I'm at least taking visitation, Giles.  Exactly.  Plus with the two halfies here, we'll have to see."  He nodded.  "That'll be nice.  How expensive is it?"  He smiled at the generous offer.  "Thank you."  He heard Willow talk about the house.  "Why so cheap?"  He beamed.  "DEA put it up already?"  He nodded.  "How far out in the country?"  He nodded.  "I might be able to stand that.  I've got her spare laptop on me so can she send me pictures?  I'll be back there in a few hours probably.  Thanks, guys.  Of course you're coming for the first few days, Giles.  Someone's got to teach me how to change a diaper."  He laughed.  "Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "I'm moving to Georgia it looks like."

Tony grinned.  "It's pretty country."

Xander nodded.  "So she said.  She said it's an older farm with some land and trees.  So apparently I'm living at the Burrow."  Tony snickered and nodded.  "If it needs work, I can do that and then worry about a job."

"Good point."  He looked over as Gibbs came over.  "He's moving to Georgia."

"I heard.  Is it safe?"

Xander smiled.  "Rated safe for Wiccans, Gibbs."  That got a nod.  "So it's tolerant and safe."

"That's good.  DEA seizure?"  Xander nodded.  "How big?"

"Farm, old farm.  Some land, some trees.  I'll be living like a Weasley."  Gibbs shook his head at that.  "Willow gave me the books for Solstice last year."

"Hopefully you won't have to do too much work to make it liveable, kid."

"I hope not."  He looked at Tony again.  "Want to move with me?"

"No, not really.  The boss would get mad if I was that far outside call-in."  That got a grin back.  "He would."  He heard Xander's stomach rumble.  "Lunch time?"

Xander shrugged.  "It'll keep for now."  He looked around at the parents watching their kids sleep.  "I have no idea what I'm doing next.  I got myself to this point, made my decision about wanting my kids, and now I'm stuck without a next goal.  It's like I won the hill and can't decide which direction I'm conquering from here."  Daniel gave him an odd look.  "What?" he mouthed.

"D&D?" Daniel asked.

Xander grinned.  "No comment until the statute of limitations has run out and the FBI doesn't want to talk about it anymore."  Daniel and Tony both gaped.  He grinned.  "My high school rather had a severe issue.  I'm on the hometown protection patrol."

Riley Finn looked over.  "Who planned graduation?"

"I fixed Giles' plans if you must know," Xander said dryly.  "Plus got others involved."  Riley shuddered.  "You guys saw that?"

"We were in Sunnydale your Junior year, Harris.  We saw it all while we were expanding the former research center."  He turned away shaking his head.

Graham came over, squatting down next to him.  "Those two strange ones?" he asked quietly.

"One's half Ethan, half their mother.  One's Laporess and something," he said equally quiet.  "Giles' is getting a sample of the second's blood to see if the mother's family might want to take it in."  That got a nod.  "Does Ethan have one?"

"He escaped with his daughter.  His escape let Speedle escape."

"Good deal.  I had Giles tell him about her.  So we'll see.  If not, I might be talked into it since I'm going to have so many anyway."  That got a nod and Graham walked off to talk to Gibbs about those two infants.  Xander looked at Tony.  "We'll have to see where things fall.  Who knows what'll happen later on with some of the tempers in this room."

"True."  He got up.  "I'm going to ask about lunch.  I didn't get breakfast."  He walked that way.  "Boss, some of us are going to start gnawing on the babies soon."

He gave him a dirty look.  "Then order pizza, DiNozzo."

"I can do that."  He smirked back.  "Cheese, pepperoni, and supreme or just cheese?"

"Order one cheeseless, one's got a milk allergy," he said, walking off shaking his head, Graham following him.

Tony opened his phone, doing a head count while he found the number in his phone book.  Then he smiled.  "Hi, it's Tony DiNozzo from NCIS.  We're on a special project in a meeting and we're starving.  We have twenty-three adults and about fifty kids overall.  One cheeseless, a milk allergy kid.  The rest cheese and pepperoni.  Figure....  Yeah, that'll work.  Do I get the discount?" he teased.  "That'll work.  Thank you.  Call my cell and I'll give directions to meet the person at.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Kate, going on a pick up in thirty," he called.  She nodded.  He wrote out a check and handed it over.  "Here, food."

"Where am I meeting them?"  He handed over his phone too.  "That'll work."  She went to tell Gibbs and take one of the vans.  That way she could pick a good meeting spot.  She hadn't scouted the local parking lots yet.

Tony went back to where Xander was.  "We'll have pizza soon."  The kid gave him a slight smile.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Thinking.  Panicking.  The usual I guess."

"The first thought through my head was 'oh, shit, I'm a daddy, no more women'," Tony quipped.  Xander giggled and punched him on the arm.  "You'll work it out with Horatio."  He smiled as the rock demon baby was brought over being fussy.  Xander took him and he quieted down for him.  "Thanks, Miller."

"Welcome, DiNozzo.  I didn't figure any of us could."

Xander looked at him. "Don't worry about them, Graham.  We'll handle them."  He nodded and headed off again.  He looked at the baby then at Tony.  "They called them all hostiles," he said quietly.  "I doubt they'd want to."

"Probably not."  He shifted closer.  "Is he as heavy as he looks?"

"Yup, sure is."  He smiled at the baby.  "You're a precious thing anyway, little one.  You're loved and wanted."  His phone rang and he let Tony dig it out for him since his hands were full.

"Xander's phone," Tony answered.  "He's busy holding a baby.  Who's this?"  He looked at him.  "Wesley?"

Xander took the phone, cradling it between his neck and shoulder.  "Hey, Wes.  What's up?  Willow did a pickup of the blood already?"  He smiled.  "Who's the mom?"  He nearly dropped the phone and the baby.  "Scuse me?  Repete, por favor?" he asked.  Wesley repeated the information again, still calmly.  "Uh-huh.  And...."  He just nodded.  "Well, we have Spike, you guys have her sire.  What's going to happen?"  He nodded.  "He's a happy baby.  Loving, gentle, giving me looks like I'm God at the moment.  I am."  He smiled.  "You'd have to talk to Gibbs about that, Wes.  Make a decision and call me back.  I can put you on with him.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked over.  "Gibbs?"  He came back, squatting down.  "We found this one's mom and it's not going to be a happy thing."  Gibbs nodded once.  "Did Tony tell you about Spike?"

"He called freaking out about Spike.  Why?"

"Well, this one's Mommy was Spike's lover and sire.  Her name was Dru and she was battier than Batman.  Talked to the stars batty."  Gibbs moaned.  "The group in LA is talking about it since her sire's there, we have Spike in Sunnydale, and they can argue about it.  I told them to figure it out and let me know so I could put them on with you."

"That'll work.  The other one?"

"Their mother's eyes," he said quietly.  "The daddy was Ethan Rayne.  I'm not sure but I had Giles get a message back to him since they knew each other way back when."

Gibbs nodded.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Kid.  Let me know when you hear."

"Of course.  If you're not nearby I'll put them on with Tony."  That got a nod and Gibbs stood up, walking off.  Xander looked at the baby.  "Did you just pee on me?" he asked with a smile.  "Well, we should fix that, huh?"  He got up and found the changing area, staring at the diapers.  One of the guards handed him one and the box of wipes. "Thanks, man.  Never done this before."  He studied the current diaper, then the clean one, then got to work changing it.

"Tighter," the guard ordered.  Xander made the waist tighter.  "That'll do it."  Xander beamed at him.  "Good first changing job.  I got anointed mine.  Boys do that to you."  He walked off, letting Xander sit down with the baby again.  It'd be okay and most of the parents had sense.

***

Xander looked up as Eric and Horatio found him later that night.  "Hey, guys."  He went back to watching the traffic from the lounge.  "What's up?"

"I talked to my mother, who is throwing a loud fit," Eric said, sitting across from him.  "She wants custody."

Xander looked at him.  "As long as I get at least visitation."

Eric nodded.  "Momma said you could have her half the time, Xander.  That's not a problem.  She did say you'd be overloaded with the others and that'd make it easier on you and us.  More of us to fly than to send her to you."

Xander grinned.  "That'll work."  He wrote down a town.  "I'm moving there.  Willow found it for me earlier and Giles is in negotiations."  Eric beamed. "How far away would that be?"

"About six, seven hours of driving," Horatio said quietly.  He looked at him.  "I'd like majority custody as well, Xander."

Xander looked at him.  "I looked you up."

"A wise precaution."

"Are you going to quit getting shot at, blown up, and have people quit trying to gun you down?"  Horatio gave him a stunned look.  "I know why you do your job, Horatio.  It's the same reason I did mine before I quit.  I'll gladly split custody with you but I don't want him in danger.  He's my only son too."

Horatio considered it then nodded slowly.  "I can foresee a problem coming but I think we can work it out.  I have a very nice house."

"I'll have a farm."

Horatio looked at him.  "We'll work it out tomorrow?"  Xander nodded.  "I'll consider that point."

"Please do.  I don't want my kid blown up if someone decides to get smart and plant one on your hummer while you're asleep some night.  Gang kids aren't that dumb and it'll be something someone thinks of someday."

"Where's Sunnydale?" Eric asked.

Xander gave him a small grin.  "Three hours outside LA."

"So you know gangs?"

"A bit.  My town's dangerous, Eric.  That's why I'm leaving it.  Your town's dangerous too but you're not in command.  Good commanders always get more notice to protect their people."

Eric nodded.  "H does draw them."

"And I'd like for the baby to not draw them too."

"Which is a consideration," Eric agreed.  "We'd be protecting the baby and Speed and his baby too."

Xander nodded.  "I'd like to make sure of that."

"Of course.  I understand why you're not fussing about me."

"You're not in command and you've talked about multiple sisters and your parents.  If something comes for you, you have someone to hide the baby with."

"H can use my family for that," he promised. "He's got others in the department who'll help."

Xander nodded.  "As long as we know that, then I'm not going to fight on getting good visitation."

Horatio nodded. "I can see that happening, Xander."  He walked off, going to think.  It was a valid point, but one he didn't like to think about.

Xander shrugged a bit. "Sorry but I don't want to attend that funeral," he said quietly.

"Neither do we.  It won't happen."  Xander stared at him. "It won't."

"Then you don't have a gang after your lab?"

"How did you hear about that?"

"Some of my crew have underground contacts.  I told them who the other parents were and they did some research."  He grinned.  "Willow likes your mother.  She said she sounded kind."

"She is.  A bit loud but she'll be a good Nana to the baby."

Xander nodded. "Then I don't have a problem, Eric."  Eric beamed.  "How often do I get to see her?"

"Whenever you want.  Give us some warning."  Xander nodded.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome."

Eric grinned and went to find Gibbs to work up an agreement for him to sign.  He found him in the restaurant getting coffee.  "Xander and I worked it out."

"Good.  You're not the first.  One signed over custody completely."  He walked him back to the meeting area, sitting him down to go over the paperwork.  He filled in the part that Eric told him, letting him read it.  Eric nodded and took it to Xander, having him sign.  They brought it back to Gibbs, who had it signed by someone else who was a notary.  Then it got filed in the folder with the earlier one.  "It'll go to the judge Monday."  That got a nod and Eric left, going to get to know Xander better.  It'd help Horatio when they worked out their agreement.  Gibbs sipped his coffee, looking at Tony as he came in.  "How're you doing?"

"I'm all right but I'm not sure if I can handle total custody, boss."

"Then don't.  One's with Xander, one's with Taylor.  They're both hyper protective of what's theirs."

"Point.  I can't find them."

"Delko found Xander already.  They worked out an agreement."  Tony nodded, heading to find them.  Gibbs took another drink, looking over as Daniel Jackson came in.  "It took us ten people to finally get your boss."

"Hammond wasn't happy that you found me at all," he admitted, sitting down across from him.  "I don't know if my project will let me keep the baby."

"You have another parent, Jackson."

"I know and it seems wrong."

"Why?"

"My parents died when I was young.  I don't want my kid in the custody of someone else."

"Then move Kowalski closer to you and give him custody.  You two can work out a living together arrangement or whatever.  He's got full custody of his other one."  He took another drink and put his cup down.  "I can't do more than sit here and mediate."

"I know.  I need to get in touch with my people and talk to someone.  Do we have a secured line?"

"At the office.  I can get you in there.  It's video even."

"That'll work.  Can I take McGee?"

"Go ahead.  Watch out for my director."

Daniel smirked.  "Our project is only heard about by certain members and the president, Gibbs.  I outrank her."  Gibbs snickered at that.  "If I don't, I have an Air Force Colonel who does since he's second in command at the project."  He stood up.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Bringing him?"

"Can I?"

"Go ahead.  Tell McGee you need to do that."

"Thank you."  He walked off, finding McGee in the lobby talking with Stanley.  "Hey."  Stan smiled at him. "I've got to talk to someone to see what the regs say and to make sure I can have some time off at the moment.  I was going to bring him with me if you don't mind."

"Nah, I don't mind," Stan said with a small grin.  "He's yours too, Danny."

"Thanks, Stan.  Agent McGee..."

"Tim or simply McGee is fine, Doctor Jackson.  Gibbs barks it, so can you."

He smiled.  "Thank you.  He said I could use your secured communications equipment to call my project once we have the baby?"

"If the boss said so.  I'll make sure the Director's gone."

"I outrank her," Daniel told him simply.  That got a gape.  "I'm working out of Cheyenne."

"Good enough."  He nodded at Stan.  "Want to bring the other back?"

"Can I?"

"I don't see why not."  He led them out to his car, taking them there.  Once there they found their kids by the ID bracelets, just to make sure there wasn't a mixup, then Stan got brought back to the hotel by one of the guards since the vans had safety seats in them.  He took one for his car and took Daniel to NCIS, walking him inside once his pass had gotten them past security.  He walked him off the elevator. "This is the mezzanine level.  Down there's the pods for the various teams," he said.  "This is MTAC."

"Are we giving tours now?" the director asked from her office doorway.

Daniel looked at her.  "I need to call my project on a secured line, Director."

"You are?"

"Doctor Daniel Jackson, attached to a special project out of Cheyenne Mountain."  She shuddered.  "I need to call to get more time off and to talk to my team.  Agent Gibbs said I could use your secure lines."

"Go ahead.  Clear MTAC, McGee, and use it yourself."  She slammed her door.  She had heard not to mess with him if he showed up.  The president himself had warned her.

McGee grinned.  "Someone laid down a heavy-handed law," he muttered, getting a nod and a smile.   He got them into MTAC.  "I need MTAC cleared please?  We're putting through a secure call to Cheyenne Mountain."  Everyone walked off, one stopping to smile at the baby and Daniel.  McGee sat down at a console to bring it up.  "Headset is beside you, Danny."

"Thank you, McGee."  He put it on, smiling at the picture that came up.  "General Hammond, good evening."

"Doctor Jackson."  He stared at the thing on his lap.  "Is that what I think it is?"

Daniel nodded.  "Yes, General.  There was a group called the Initiative..."

Hammond held up a hand.  "I heard.  They were creating children as well?"  Daniel nodded.  "Are they a clone?"

"No, this isn't the mini-Daniel," he promised with a smile.  "His other father is a cop out of Chicago.   We're trying to figure out a preliminary custody agreement at the moment.  So I need some time off to go to Chicago and to get to know him, plus possibly to move if Stan can't keep him too.  He's got another son as well thanks to the same people."

Hammond nodded. "I can give you up to a month.  Any longer than that and O'Neill will be driving everyone insane.  You guys need the downtime anyway.  Where are you?"

"NCIS.  One of the people in Sunnydale, a Mr. Harris, found out that they were making babies and told one of the fathers who works here on Gibbs' team."

"Which is why Gibbs and I had to talk," he finished.  Daniel nodded.  "All right.  Want to talk to them?"

"If I could, sir.  Better to let Jack get the screaming out of the way now instead of later."

"Good point."  He grimaced, looking at him.  "What's his name?"

"His name ... originally it was Wyatt.  I'm not sure if we're keeping it or not.  Stanley doesn't like it.  He's only four months old."

Hammond smiled.  "They're precious at that age, even if they do get colic.  Anything else I should know?"

"NCIS might need help finding the missing embryos Mr. Harris thinks they have stored.  I'm not sure if any more are mine or not."

"Agreed," he told him.  "I'll give them whatever help they need.  Who's running the equipment?"

"Special Agent McGee.  He's on Gibbs' team and has been helping do the research end. Their lab tech, a Miss Scuito, did all the DNA work locally."

Hammond nodded.  "The DC branch is known for Gibbs' team and her lab work.  It'll be fine.  Let me transfer you to the meeting area and gather the others."  He hit a button on his phone.  "Gather SG-1 in the briefing room ASAP.  Tell them Doctor Jackson is calling from DC."  He waved.  "Call soon, Daniel.  That way we know what's going on."

"I will.  Especially once we've decided custody."  That got a nod and they were switched over to a meeting room.  He smiled at the women walking in together. "Janet.  Sam."

"Oh my god," the blonde woman of the two said, staring at him.  "Is that a baby?"

Daniel grinned and nodded.  "He's four months old."

"Is he a clone?" Janet, the doctor of the two and a redhead asked.

Daniel shook his head.  "No, there was a project called the Initiative.  Janet, I'd like to have them send you some of the research so our people can make sure they weren't trying any modification on the babies please.  We know they did it to their own soldiers.  I'm doubting someone bright didn't think to try the kids."

She nodded.  "I can look it over.  Where are you?"

"NCIS, DC.  They've been very helpful.  Don't get pushy with their lab tech please."

"I won't."

"I'll let Abby know," McGee said, leaving them alone.  "Push the blue button to end the call," he said before the door shut.  He used the phone in the hall to call down there.

Daniel shifted. "Can you see him all right?"

"I can see him perfectly," Sam cooed.  "He's adorable."

"He is," Daniel agreed. "His other father is out of the Chicago PD.  We're deciding custody at the moment."

"With what we do," Sam started.

"I know.  We'll figure it out, Sam.  I was very honest that I don't get off base often."  Teal'c walked in and he nodded.  "Hey, Teal'c."

"DanielJackson, is that what I think it is?"

"It is but it's not a clone."

"Thankfully.  That might be a very scary child," the big alien said.  "How did he come into being?"

"A special project somehow got some of my DNA and decided to make him for me."  Their friend and team leader walked in.  "Hey, Jack."

"Danny.....  Tell me that's a clone?"  He didn't want to beg but this probably called for a bit of groveling with God if that was Daniel's clone.

"Nope.  There's a former group called the Initiative...."

Jack held up a hand.  "I saw the briefing paperwork when a few got transferred in.  Then got transferred back out to unscrew them.  They made him?"

"They made him from me and a detective out of Chicago's department.  So I'm taking some time off."

Jack stared at the baby.  "He's cute."

"He's got a strong grip too.  Didn't want to let go of my glasses earlier."  He gave him a gentle smile.  "I'm taking some time off.  We're still working on custody and those things."

Jack nodded slowly.  "Two weeks?"

"Month."

"A month?"  He looked a bit upset at that.

"Jack, it's my four-month-old son," Daniel growled.

"Okay then."  He just nodded.  "You'll be where?"

"Probably Chicago for at least the first few weeks.  Stan's got another son thanks to the program."  That got another nod.  "They took one of the donors and gave him four, Jack.  I was considered a higher functioning being so they wanted a specific one from me.  I'm having Janet look over the files to see if they did any other tampering."

"Good to know," Jack agreed.  "What's his name?"

"They named him Wyatt.  We're not sure if we're renaming him or not."

"That's cool," Jack said.

Daniel looked at the baby.  "Did you pee on me?" he cooed.  He could feel where it was seeping onto his leg.

"Fercryin'outloud, he's cooing," Jack muttered.

Janet punched him on the arm.  "I'm sure you did too, Jack."  She smiled.  "You should change him.  Can we come visit?"

"If Hammond will let you off or I can talk Stan into letting me bring him to Colorado."  That got a nod and a smile.   "We're figuring that stuff out soon.  Stan's a nice guy.  He works in Major Crimes and with Mounties."

Sam smiled.  "Then I'm sure he'll be a polite baby."  She waved.  "You're going to be so spoiled.  You're the only baby around here, Wyatt."  The baby smirked at her.  "Are you sure he's not Jack's too?  That smirk looks familiar."

Jack pinched her.  "Shuddup."  He looked at Daniel.  "A full month?"  Daniel nodded.  "Fine.  Let us know when you're back in town so the ladies can go gooey over the baby and we can throw him a welcoming party."

"Let's try not to get invaded for the entertainment," Janet said dryly.

Teal'c looked at her.  "I do not think a System Lord would like his son enough to show up and be entertaining," he said seriously.

Jack looked at him.  "It was a joke, Teal'c."  He looked at Daniel again.  "We'll try not to schedule an invasion that day."

"Thanks.  I'm sure Stan would appreciate that."  He smiled.  "What do I tell Stan, Jack?"

"I'll have Hammond clear him," he said.  "What does he know so far?"

"Special project, Cheyenne Mountain."

"That'll work for now.  I'll have Hammond start the paperwork.  Be careful with him.  He's damn tiny, Danny."

"I am.  He's a good boy so far."  He smiled and got up, turning off the call.  He looked at his son.  "You're going to be so spoiled by Sam.  She has no idea what to do with you so she'll overcompensate.  She'll be teaching you physics before you're five if I know her."  He put down the headset and walked out, finding McGee in the hallway with the lab tech from earlier.  "I hope you don't mind...."

She snorted and took the baby to cuddle.  "Of course I don't.  Not with some of the stuff we've heard came out of your program, Doctor Jackson.  It's better to be safe than sorry."  She smiled at him.  "Clones?"

"None of mine," he said dryly.  "Classified otherwise."

"That's still kinda cool."  She patted the baby, cooing at him when he started to fuss. "Is someone messy?"

Daniel nodded.  "He is.  Did we have diapers?"

"I have some in the lab," Abby said cheerfully.  "Since I had to bring them in to draw blood we kept a few just in case."  She led them down to her lab, handing him one and some wipes. "There you go.  Go use the morgue or the bathroom."  McGee led him off to the bathroom while she got the files bundled together and ready.  He came back with the baby.  "Type in an email.  I've scanned it all in and zipped the file."

Daniel handed her the baby carefully then typed in the email and the passcode to let it through the filters.  Plus a personal message.  Abby took a picture of the baby and attached it as well, earning a smile.  "Thanks."

"Friends will want to see pictures."  He nodded and sent it then let her have the keyboard back.  "There you go, studly.  You go home with the daddy and be a good boy for him."  The baby yawned and made a grab for a pigtail, letting her hand it to him.  He tugged gently then let it go and stared at the man holding him.

"I'll bring you back to the hotel, Daniel," McGee said quietly.  "You can keep him tonight if you want."

"Thanks."  He smiled at her then walked out with him.  "Poor Xander's going to go insane with four."

"He'll do fine," McGee assured him.  "From what we've seen, he's a strong guy and he can handle it."  He took them back to the hotel, letting Daniel request the crib on his own, going to report to his boss.  "Gibbs?"  He looked up.  "He called, Abby sent the research to Doctor Jackson's people since they have a geneticist on staff, and he's got Wyatt back here with him.  I left after the second question about him being a clone.  Abby said they do some strange things out there."

"I decided long ago I didn't want to know what special projects were doing unless it was something wrong.  They're usually doing something strange."  He smirked at him.  "The Director?"

"Got out of the way once she heard who he was.  Apparently someone told her to give him every courtesy.  He said his project has presidential oversight."

Gibbs just nodded.  "Sounds like it.  Thank you."  McGee nodded and left.  He went back to looking over the agreements they already had.  A few more had worked it out already.  Some were going to take a lot longer.  Including Caine since he was stomping that way.  "You piss off the kid again?"

"I want to know who he is.  He did a background on me."

Gibbs looked at him.  "We can't find out who he is.  All we know is he knows weapons, he's dangerous if he's hyped on chocolate, and the Initiative hated him."

"How did they know about him?"

"Remember the dark-haired soldier?"  Horatio nodded slowly.  "He was a team leader on one of their hunt and extraction teams.  He was dating one of Harris' best friends.  She was under investigation by the same people once they found out what she could do."  Horatio swallowed.  "He was also one of the people that defended his town before they got there and after they got there.  Including protecting those who needed it from these same folks.  They took in one of the escaped supposed-hostiles and made him part of their team."

Horatio sighed.  "I'd like more to go on.  He doesn't seem very friendly to me."

"I think it's more the frustration and anger you're sending at him," Tony said from behind him.  "He warned you not to back him into a corner.  You did."  He shrugged and handed over a few papers.  "Mac Taylor and I worked ours out, boss."

He looked at them.  "Going to give Xander and Taylor primary custody?"

"Boss, with Ari barely being gone and our hours?  The kid wouldn't see me three days out of every week. I can visit and they both agreed I could call or pop around whenever I could.  All I had to do was ask.  Flack's kid with Xander is still pending.  Don wants to talk to his parents first.  He's decided he'll be helping Taylor with his other one but Taylor decided he wanted custody since he had the bigger apartment and higher salary."

Gibbs nodded and put them in the stack to be signed later.  "That'll work.  Georgia is a long commute from New York City."

"Which is what Flack was thinking but he's also thinking his parents are going to be yelling loud enough that we'll be hearing them the normal way."

"It's possible.  Thanks, DiNozzo.  You hung with Xander.  Can you explain him to Horatio?"

"Why doesn't he ask Finn?  They were clearly watching the group if they knew not to give Xander too much chocolate."

"That's a good idea, thank you, Tony," Horatio said, walking off.  He found him in the hotel bar.  Those two had been moved back with Speed, who was in Eric's room with him.  He sat down next to him.  "I want to talk to you."

Riley looked at him.  "If I had any idea, I'd have told the group and they would've stopped it sooner," he said quietly.

"I know that.  I need hints on how to talk to Xander."

Riley finished his beer and looked at him.  "He's not that hard to get along with.  He's actually a very nice guy.  Very patient.  He put up with my ex and his ex; that about makes him a saint in patience."

"He's not being agreeable."

"He's also very stubborn," Riley agreed.  "He's the only one we've ever seen out-stubborn Rosenburg when she's got her resolve face on."  He smiled and took his new beer over to a table.  Horatio followed.  "We were there starting the team's junior year, Caine.  What do you want to know?"

"What's he like?"

"Xander's every bit someone who'll do what's necessary.  He's also someone who cares about the outcome."  He took a drink.  "We've seen him be so angry that he nearly destroyed people."  His phone chirped so he looked at the text message.  "Sorry, got that wrong.  Willow said he didn't have anything to do with that bomb.  He was stopping the person who laid it.  She's not sure of more than that."  He looked at him again once his phone was up.  "Rosenburg."

"Is she bugging you?"

"Willow's a witch, Horatio.  She can do all sorts of fantastic things and get away with it.  There's no telling what sort of trace she has on me for Buffy."  He took a drink and put his beer down.  "Xander's a very stable young man.  For all that he's young, he knows what he wants, what he's doing, and he's pretty good at planning.  The graduation battle was his plan."  He stared at the shocked looking older man.  "He's not the average twenty-one- year-old.  We're not sure *why* he's not but he's been working with Buffy since before we got there."  His phone chirped again so he put it on the table.  "Hmm, tenth grade.  So probably late fifteen, early sixteen."  He looked at him again.  "Fighting the same things my team was capturing to figure out.  Taking out those things that hurt others almost every single night with two other girls and a librarian behind him."

"He doesn't seem to like me."

"You made him go into crisis mode with your 'do you work' comment this morning.  Willow said so."  Horatio shook his head.  "If you're around Xander you might as well get to know Buffy, Willow, and Giles.  I doubt they won't be there at times."

"I'd like primary custody."

"He said he wasn't against it as long as he had visitation."

"He also told me my life was dangerous and why."

"Was he right?"  Horatio grimaced but hummed and nodded.  "Yeah, we couldn't figure out how he did that either.  It's like he was a tag-along, a goofy kid, and then suddenly he was there at the right moment in time, with what you needed, and was the force that you smashed the enemy against.  Then he went back to being the goofy tag-along again that the girls sometimes seemed to ignore or not appreciate.  We never did figure out how he did it.  It creeped me out a number of times.  That and he can be the king of sarcasm when he wants to be."

"Did you fight against him or with him?"

"Both.  Eventually I saw what they were doing was wrong and I turned to help Buffy.  Who I was dating at the time."  He took another drink of his beer.  "I don't know what I can tell you.  Xander's very easy to like.  I went in with every intention of turning Buffy to our side and taking her in so my people could see what made her so special.  Xander kind of makes you like him somehow.  Even with him distrusting me, somehow knowing I was there to cause the group problems from the start, and knowing what we were doing, he still made me like him for some reason.  Like hos...Spike, he proved his worth time and again, even when the girls weren't watching.  I have no idea how he does it but he does it to you and wiggles his way into your soul until you have to like him."

"They're not close?"

"Now and then they take these moods where they ignore him.  For whatever reason it comes and it goes.  Xander's a lot more patient.  I would've found new friends."  He stared at him.  "He's also got a very ...unique sense of fashion.  Before he started his construction job he couldn't keep one over a month thanks to the nightly hunting we all did."  Horatio nodded slightly at that.  "He likes construction work.  He's good at it too.  He found his niche basically."  He took another drink.  "I learned the hard way it never pays to discount Xander.  Buffy was facing something huge that would've destroyed everyone.  Xander somehow managed to get her artillery.  They used it in a mall to solve the problem.  It worked.  Xander's about the end result and about being safe most of the time.  He's got a baseline of need that he lives on.  Anya kept trying to push that up but she never really succeeded.  Or in replacing his ugly, loud shirts."

"Anya?"

"His ex.  I'm not sure where she is."

"He said he got dumped," Horatio admitted, considering it.  "An abuse case?"

"He was.  His parents aren't particularly pleasant.  He won't be like them.  I've seen him hit a normal father who was picking on his kid in the mall.  Just hauled off and socked him one.  Middle of the food court.  The cops came.  Arrested the father for beating his kid with a belt.  Told Xander to go away.  Sunnydale likes to ignore him. A lot."

"This bomb incident...."

"Just before we got there to watch the group.  I wasn't part of that duty.  We had advance scouts for that."  Horatio nodded.  "All we know is that someone tried to bomb the school.  Somehow Xander was involved and apparently he stopped them.  I can ask."

"No, I can ask him."

"That's usually the best idea," Riley agreed.  "I never really *talked* to Xander.  We were a bit hostile to each other because somehow he knew I was there to break the team up so we could have Buffy.  He never forgave me for trying to break the team apart or paying Spike to help me.  I can only advise you to make him calm down before you go back into a serious discussion.  You put him into crisis and stubborn mode both, Lieutenant.  That's the sort of thing he usually has to save the world with.  Get him calmed down and talking with you.  Be calm yourself.  The more upset you are, the more he'll read it.  He reads body language very well.  I've seen Xander pick the single vampire out of the group of walking people and be right.  Then I've seen him stake them and walk off like it was nothing because he had to.  He's as much a combat veteran as I am and Graham is and all the others are."

"And I put him in the wrong frame of mind," Horatio finished.  Riley nodded.  "Anything else I should know?"

"He loves chocolate but he bounces horribly on it.  Getting him hyper will make him happy and probably destroy the hotel."  He smirked.  "Where is he moving to?  I doubt Buffy wants to change diapers.  Or Anya."

"Georgia.  Somewhere his friend Willow found that he said was rated safe for Wiccans."

"That means that they accept some strange stuff but nothing horribly strange, it's a safe and tolerant community, and he won't have to fight anymore."

Horatio nodded.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Think tonight, go to him tomorrow.  If I know Xander, he's in the gym right about now working out some stress."

"Why?"

"Because he thinks you were being snide and putting him down earlier.  He was trying very hard not to snark at you at the warehouse.  He managed it, I'm impressed."  He finished that beer.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to rescue Graham.  He's demon sitting."

Horatio shook his head.  "They're not."

"They are.  One's already tried to pull the tv on his head.  The other decided to try to drown himself in the shower.  Both nearly succeeded."  He paid his tab and walked out, taking his phone up to his room.  He walked in and found both kids sacked out in their cribs.  "Thank God," he muttered, closing the door quietly.  "Caine stopped me to ask how to deal with Harris."

"Give him chocolate, get him in a good mood, then come back to it?" Graham suggested.  "What happened anyway?"

"Caine's got alpha-dog syndrome.  You know Harris won't let anyone alpha-dog him.  I tried, look what happened."  Graham shuddered but nodded.  "Are they staying asleep?"

"I hope so.  This is tougher than boot camp."

Riley nodded, flopping down on his bed.  "They are.  My parents are going to freak."

"I don't have to worry about that," Graham reminded him.

"Wonder what Jackson's bosses are doing?"

"Nope.  Wondering about him makes visits from the NID happen again.  I don't want to see them again.  Ever again."  He shook his head.  "Anyway.  What about the two baby hostiles?"

"I think Harris was going to arrange it or take them in.  Someone's got to."  Graham nodded.  "He and Anya broke up."

"She's a fine woman but I don't make the money she wants a boyfriend to make."

"Willow was listening in."

"Interesting.  Not surprising.  Anything else?"

"Yeah, Harris stopped the person with the bomb.  She said so."

"Very interesting.  Think he'll get to blow up the base?"

"Probably.  He'll have to go back to pack and stuff.  Who knows, maybe it'll slow down some of the problems out there if the college would close.  Less people for the vampires to eat."

"Yeah, might be nice.  Then Buffy could go back to being a normal girl."

Riley gave him an odd look.  "I doubt it.  She's too happy with the job.  Lets her work out her PMS."  That got a nod and they both winced when one of the babies started to fuss.  "No, sleep," Riley commanded.  The baby fussed louder.  He sighed and got up to make the baby sleep somehow.

Four hours later he called Harris since he seemed to have the touch.  Xander came over in his jammies and looked at the babies.  "Were they mean and thinking you're soldiers already?" he teased, taking one to hold and cuddle.  "Shhh, that's all right.  We'll teach the daddies that commanding babies only makes them angry.  Yes we will."  He walked the baby a few times and he calmed down, letting him put him down. He took the other one and did the same thing, making him fall asleep on his shoulder.  He carefully put him down and looked at the two men.  "They're not adults, they don't understand more than the tone of your voice, guys.  Think of them like puppies.  They have to be trained to accept orders and it's going to be *years* before they get there.  Like eight, nine more.  They need firm, gentle, loving speech so they feel loved and comforted.  Less annoyance, more cuddlesome.  Think like Willow or Tara and you'll do fine."  He left, going back to his room.  He found Daniel walking his son in the hallway.  "Fussy?"

"Just ate.  Calming down," he said quietly.  "Them?"

"Commanding."

"Ah."  He nodded, smiling some.  "Doesn't seem to work with kids."  He looked at the baby, then smiled.  "You're asleep.  I love you.  Night, Xander."

"If you need help, I'm in Georgia, Danny."  That got a smile and a nod.  "I'll let you write letters to brag and talk about what happened.  Not like I haven't seen it all."  He went to his room, laying down again.  This was probably his last night free of the little ones so he needed to get a lot of good rest.  From what he knew, he wouldn't be getting any for a while once he got the kids.

***

Gibbs looked at the gathered people the next morning.  "All but five of the kids have agreements in place, guys.  Can we work on them today?"  They all nodded.  "Thank you.  Also, Harris, Rayne did call.  He doesn't think he can handle her."

"I know what she is; if her mother's people can't, I can and will," he agreed.  "The other one?"

"Your friend Wesley called DiNozzo directly at two to talk.  They think they want the baby.  We're going to let them see him in a few days."  Xander nodded.  "Are they safe?"

"Depends on the week, the same as it did in Sunnydale, Gibbs.  They've got hell's lawyers on their tails now and then.  They've got plans in place if not."  That got another nod.  "I'll cede to them if they want."

"Thank you."  He looked around again, then back at him. "Flack?  Any discussion with your parents?"

"My mother's still throwing fits and demands that I get custody but Xander can have all the visitation he wants."

Xander looked down.  "Long commute, Don."

"I know, but she's fussy that way."

"I wouldn't care," Mac told him.  "You and both of them can move in with me, Don.  It'll make things easier on all of us."

Don smiled.  "Thanks, Mac.  We'll figure that out soon."  That got a nod.  "Xander?"

"That'll be fine as long as I get to see her."

"Thanks, Xander."  Gibbs handed over an agreement with their names on it, letting them fill it out.  He signed it, Xander signed it, then they handed it back.  "That all of yours?"

"For now.  Horatio and I will probably end up talking in private later."

Horatio nodded.  "I think it'd be best."

"As long as you work it out today," Gibbs told them.   "The rest of you as well."  They all nodded.  "Now we have the government's representative here to threaten you."  He looked around.  "My director was a field agent.  Now she's political."

"In other words, don't worry, she and reality sometimes don't have a happy relationship?" Xander asked.

"Now and then," Tony agreed dryly.

"You're welcome to come to Georgia too, Tony," Xander quipped.

"Thanks, Xander.  Then we'll really look like the Weasleys."  A few snickered at that.  "We will!"

Xander nodded.  "We will."

Gibbs opened the door, letting the director in her power suit in.  He sat down once the door was locked again.  "Go ahead."

"Gentlemen, I'm here to ask you to not say anything about this closed, sealed matter," she announced, putting her briefcase down.  "We don't want the press to lose faith in the government or the military.  We would like you all to sign hush agreements saying you will not divulge the children to anyone."

Don Flack snorted.  "Lady, some of us do work.  Most of us do work.  We have to tell our bosses because most of us will have to take time off to get the things the kids need and some of us will have ta move.  If we don't tell them we suddenly have kids, we can't do that."  She gaped.

Xander nodded.  "That's also not even bringing up the point of we'll have to tell our friends we have kids.  Plus the daycares they'll be going to.  If they're friends they'll want to see the baby and their pictures," he said at the horrified look.  He leaned forward.  "Politely, fuck off, lady.  The kids are ours now.  The military police dealt with the people who created them.  Those who're working at the moment can't get that nifty family leave time if they don't talk about their kids.  They're going to have to.  If they want to make up a cover story about how they came to be, that's up to them.  Remember, most of them are military or officers.  I'm pretty sure their bosses already know the system fucks up now and then."

"If you talk about how the children came to be, we won't allow you any government support," she said coolly.

"Uh-huh.  That's a state issue, not a federal issue.  If those of us who need government support, which would basically be me for their health insurance at first, need it, that's up to the state, not the Feds."  He stared at her.  "You've obviously never dealt with smart people before so let me put it to you simply.  I can dance down the street proclaiming that I have a son without divulging how he came to be.  But you've already got leaks.  It was in the Post this morning."  She blanched.  "The trials got notice and so did the raid on a few bases.  So, politely, go leap.  Those in the military can handle it themselves.  Again, their people already know that sometimes the system creates quacks with bright ideas," he finished dryly.  "I already knew that.  My town's drawn them and their project.  Why do you think we stopped it?  Them, NID, the few freako-torturing bastards from Area 51 who came one night.  They *all* hate me."  She backed away from him.  "Now, scoot.  Please.  You're giving me a headache and I still have to deal with the last father of my child."  She fled.  "Thank you for your cooperation!" he called after her, smiling and waving.  He looked at Gibbs, who was looking stunned, then at Tony, who was snickering.  "Sorry, not enough caffeine."  He got up and got some coffee.  "Anyone else want some while I'm up?  It's been a while since I was a waiter but I still remember the basics."

"I could use some coffee, thanks," Daniel said with a small smile.  "Xander, want to join the military?"

"Hell no.  They'd hate me and I'd warp people horribly when they tried to fix me."  He handed him a cup of coffee and took Gibbs' cup to pop the top and refill for him then hand back.  He sat down with his own.  "Besides, Willow likes you guys and your project.  She thinks she wants to join.  She'd be great at the long-distance one you've got at the moment.  Something about horses and the probability factor being higher and stranger than Sunnydale?  Plus, hey, experience with that sort of issue," he finished with a smile.  "Buffy might too if you promised she could hit on the hot guys."  He took a sip of his coffee while Riley choked and Graham spluttered.

Daniel wiped his stunned look.  "I'll suggest Jack go recruiting," he said with a grin.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  I'm looking forward to a normal, semi-boring life with the kids causing most of the chaos in it.  It'll be nice not to have to hunt again unless I'm hungry."  He grinned.  "What is the official background on me?"

"Likes weapons, don't annoy, don't give too much chocolate, he gets worse, be cautious because he can cause plans to suddenly change or improbable ones to work," Danny told him.

Xander nodded. "Sounds like someone watched us."  He looked at Riley.

"For over a year, it wasn't our job.  We had advance scouts."

"Charming.  By the way, the zombie planted the bomb.  I stopped him.  The girls found out about a week later when someone realized that the bomb was still there and the principal had fingerprints tested.  Jack's fingerprints were on the trigger wire and they got the whole story out of me.  She was not amused.  Buffy cried."  He sipped again, looking smug.  "Anything else you want to know, ask."

"I can do that," he agreed, looking away.  He looked at Gibbs.  "What about Graham and I?  We were up for reassignment.  I was on a UN hunting team but it's not like I can do that now."

"We're having you reassigned locally during the trials and then we'll see," Gibbs told him.  That got a nod from them both.

"Xander, drink more coffee," Tony ordered.  Xander drank some more, making him smile. "Thanks."  The director came back.  "Ma'am."

"Director," Gibbs said.

"Fine, we've agreed that no one will divulge the methodology or the project that got the kids made," she announced.  Gibbs shut the door.  "Can we agree on that?"  Everyone shook their heads.  "Why not?"

"Because I want my bosses warned if they come back for 'em," Don told her simply.

"Mine already know," Danny told her.  "Hammond got briefed when a few got transferred in then transferred out again for treatment from their manipulations."  He looked at Xander.  "As far as our geneticists can tell, they did not tamper with the baby's genetic sequence."  Xander smiled at that.  "But yours have a marker we'd like to study."

"Fuck.  No," Xander said.  "I don't want to be a lab rat.  Thanks anyway.  Had enough of that being under Riley's people for a while."

"We only want a bit of blood, Xander.  Nothing else."

"We'll see.  Come see me in a year."

"We can do that."  He looked at the director again.  "To be realistic, half of us have already told our people that the children got mixed in a dish and implanted.  We had to tell them something about why we're taking leave time."  Mac nodded.  "The officers' departments have a high concentration of former military people.  They'd understand that the military sometimes has people with ideas that are simply wrong.  We might agree not to out it in the press, but as Xander pointed out it was in the Washington Post this morning and the New York Times."  She moaned.  "Your bosses want to save the public perception that the military is good, we all agree that's a good idea.  That's why we all assured the bosses we've already told that they were stopped and we're hoping we won't be called back for any trials that are upcoming."  He looked at Xander.  "Have you been called?"

"Willow was twice.  They were going to call me in one but didn't need me apparently."  He leaned back, looking at her.  "Ma'am, you're not even military.  Gibbs is, I accept that he's going to ask us to not go on Oprah about this.  If he asks nicely I might even agree.  Of course, it would mean the kids had a secure future and college funds but I'm sure I can work like I used to."  She gaped at him.  He stared her down.  "I'm retiring," he said with a sweet smile.  "Next time a special ops group goes to Sunnydale, they can handle it without me.  Gibbs, can I blow up the base finally?"

"Fine, kid.  Blow up the base.  Don't cause any further property damage."

"Yes, Gibbs," he sighed.  "I'll try not to sink the campus."  He looked at her again, then smiled sweetly.  She shuddered and backed away from him.  "Now, any other demands?  If not, I've got to talk to the person who's securing a house for me and my children to live in and then go home and pack."  He looked at Gibbs, then at the fathers.  "Do you guys want them first since Sunnydale's so dangerous?"

"Please," Eric agreed.  Xander nodded at that.  "Won't your friends mind?"

"They'll come see them once I'm settled.  They'll probably even help me move.  That way I can move the excess weapons that they won't be needing."  Riley gave him a horrified look.  "What?  Sometimes you have to have a gun.  Though your base did leave a few taser guns and things.  Very nice.  Thank you."  He grinned sweetly. "Buffy said thank you too.  It was better than a sundae last week.  Target practice on the biker demons was good for her."

Graham nodded.  "Sure, kid.  That works for us.  How many?"

"I've got the list at home.  I'll fax it to Gibbs."  That got a nod.  "Nothing too big. Wouldn't work in Sunnydale anyway."  He looked at the director again.  "So, what were they going to give us to shut up?"

"Free medical checks to make sure they're healthy and no later tampering occurred."

"I think my people can handle that," Daniel told her.  She shuddered.  "Anything else?"  She shook her head and walked out.  He smirked at Xander.  "Feel better?"

"Yes, I hate cranky women.  I see enough of them daily.  I used to date one."  Riley shuddered.  "She broke out in tears with 'I can't be a mother, it'll take all the money' and fled.  Willow had to protect my stuff from her."

"We can help you move," Graham offered.

"Why?  Buffy moves sofas better than a whole team of Marines," Xander quipped.  "Plus Willow cleans *really* well.  And Tara will make cookies for the trip," he finished with a grin.

"Have more coffee, Xander."

"Too much caffeine is as bad as too much chocolate," Riley protested.

"She'll come back again," Tony told him smugly.

"Hopefully she comes with hush money this time," Xander quipped back.  "I could use a new car.  And probably house improvements."  He batted his lashes.  "Sometimes Anya has a point.  She told me to hold out for millions if I could.  I told her we couldn't.  The government was too broke."

"She pout?" Tony asked.

"Still is," Xander agreed.  "Tara told me that at my morning briefing."  That got a head shake but a smile from Tony.  "Just think, you were only out there for two days, Tony.  I've known Willow since the first day of school."

Gibbs shuddered.  "Her background check is a lot more comprehensive."

Riley gave him a horrified look.  "Not really.  We struck out half of what they had."

Xander nodded.  "She got half of what was left.  She didn't like being called a pouty new- age freak with powers."  He finished his coffee and smiled.  Everyone gaped at him.  "She's a hacker.  Of course she found her files.  And mine.  I figured they would've added more than that by now."

"We couldn't figure you out," Riley complained.

"It's not like I'm Algebra, Riley.  I'm not that hard to get to know," Xander quipped back, giving him a look.  "You never looked."  The director came back.  "My ex wants me to hold out for money.  Should I tell her to come talk to you?"  She glared at him.  He grinned.  "She's like that."

"We'll give you all the equivalent amount to what Agents Finn and Miller are getting," she announced.  "Plus state-sponsored health care if you need it, Mr. Harris."

"Only for a few months.  Until I can find a new job."

"Fine.  Would that suit you?  You won't out the cause of the conception in the press?  You won't discuss it in mass groupings outside those here?  Only telling those who need to know?"  They all nodded. They'd be doing that anyway.  "Thank you.  Make sure Agent Gibbs has your addresses."  She handed over paperwork.  "Sign it or don't get it," she told Xander, then stomped off again.

"Gibbs, can I have her eaten?" Tony asked.

"No, DiNozzo.  The next one might be worse."

"We can suggest they appoint Abby, boss."

Gibbs looked over then smacked him on the head.  "I don't need that thought."

Xander read it over.  "We need snippage.  It says we won't tell anyone."

Gibbs looked then took it to hand to McGee.  "Reformat and retype that so it's reasonable."   He nodded, sitting down to fix that from his corner seat.

"McGee, if no one mentioned it, I liked the presentation," Xander told him.  "Very nicely done and laid out, with enough information given on the screens so Gibbs could run it and not have to say anything."  That got a smile and a nod of thanks then he went back to it.  The new copy was what they had agreed to so Xander signed it and handed it to Gibbs.  "Let me get some twinkies and I'll be in my room, Horatio.  Gibbs, do you want me to take the others with me or not?"

"Take them with you for now," he ordered.  That got a nod.  "We're hoping you can all take them home this week."

"We should be able to," Horatio said quietly.  He got up to follow Xander once he had signed the non-disclosure agreement.  "Xander."

"Let me get a twinkie and I'll meet you in my room, Horatio."  He nodded, heading that way.  Xander found what he wanted in the gift shop and paid for it then went up there.  He let him inside, sitting on the foot of his bed.  Horatio closed the door and sat in one of the chairs.  "Did you make a decision?"

"I'd like for our son to not be in danger as well," he said calmly.  Xander nodded.  "I'm not so sure he won't be in just as much danger with you."

"I've given up hunting, Horatio.  Or else I wouldn't be moving to Georgia."  Horatio grimaced but nodded.  "My house will be safe.  You'll be more than welcome to come up or ask for visitation whenever you want.  All you have to do is ask."

"I have a lot of people who would help me if I needed a night off.  You'll be starting over."

"I make friends and I'm moving to a very small town.  They'll all know within days."  He ate a bite of his sponge cake goodness.  "Want some?"

"No, thank you.  You're not going to feed them...."

"They're kids, Horatio.  They'll get them now and then but not live on junk food.  I can cook."

"Good.  I wasn't sure with the diet I've seen this weekend."

"I've been stressed.  Of course I hit the junk food."

"Good point.  I do the same now and then, though I choose white cheddar cheese popcorn."  He shifted in his seat.  "I'd still like primary custody, Xander.  You would be more than welcome to visit when you come down to visit with your daughter by Eric."

"Horatio, think about it.  I'm going to have custody of one of the halfie babies as well.  Plus the others.  Even if Eric's family gets pushy, he works long hours.  You work long hours.  Who's going to take care of the kids while you're working ten hour days?"  Horatio grimaced.  "I'm foreseeing Eric's daughter mostly coming back to me half the time.  His parents have a lot to worry about without raising his daughter for him.  He told me he works ten and twelve hour days.  So did Tim."

"We can, but I can cut back."

"Until a victim needs you.  We're both like that.  That's why I'm moving.  So nothing and no one can come near the kids or get between us."  Horatio nodded at that.  It was a good reason.  "I'll be a few hours away and it's easier for you to drive up than me to pack everyone and drive down.  I'll probably end up bringing my daughter back up too.  That's beyond the fact that Miami's expensive to live in.  I can't afford to live in both places."

"Good point."  He considered it.  "I could come up whenever or ask for custody whenever I wanted?"  Xander nodded.  "What if I wanted to keep him for a month?"

"Then I might call and nag."

Horatio smiled and nodded. "I can see that.  Thank you, Xander."

"You're welcome.  Eric and I had this talk too.  He was easier to talk to."  Horatio stood up.  He put a hand on his arm.  "Go easy on Tim, Horatio.  He's got trauma to deal with outside of nearly dying and all that.  He needs a friend, not a boss."

"I'm going to try."  Xander let him go and he left, going to find Gibbs and write out the agreement.  Gibbs looked at it then nodded at the reasonable thinking on it.  "We talked."

"I find it's easier than when you've got their backs to the wall.  Have him sign it too."  Horatio took it back up there for Xander.  He leaned back.  That was the last of it.  It was brought back and the notary signed it too.  Gibbs gave it to McGee.  "To Hollis for the judge."  He nodded, taking it off.  "DiNozzo, are you taking custody while he's in Sunnydale?"

"Yeah, boss.  If we get a major case I'll let him know and hand her off."  That got a nod. "I guess I need to do some shopping."

Eric handed over a list.  "That's my mother's list for when she babysits.  It should give you enough time to get a real crib if you plan on having a lot of custody."

Tony smiled. "Thanks, Eric."

"Not a problem."  He handed out copies to the others.  Danny smiled at it.  "The full list is on the back.  Momma approved it."

They all smiled and nodded, taking whichever list they needed to back up to their rooms to start planning on where to shop.  Those who hadn't picked up their kids went to do that and bring them back.   Phone numbers, emails, and other contact means were exchanged and then they left in groups, heading to whatever place they needed to go.

***

Danny Jackson looked around the small apartment Stan had, smiling at the turtle.  "That's a nice pet."

"She's calm and here when I need her ta be," he agreed with a smile.  "I've gotta move."

"Might be an idea, yeah," he agreed with a smile.  "I don't mind helping out with some of the costs, Stan.  I'm not going to abandon you."

"Thanks, Danny.  Wanna go help me introduce them to the others?"

"I can do that if you want."  He smiled and they headed out together, going to Stan's work.  He had Wyatt, and Stan had Richard.  The carseats they had gotten off Gibbs' people fit nicely in the back of the GTO.  The precinct was an older stone building.  Danny touched the doorframe.  "This is nicer than most old buildings."

"It's the constant use," Stan quipped, leading him upstairs.  Every cop they passed gave him horrified looks. "Butt out!  You'll hear soon enough!" he called finally.  "Nag Frannie later."  He walked him up to the detective's squad room, earning a sudden silence when the baby cooed and some horrified looks.  "Later, guys.  Let me talk to Welsh first."  He walked them in there, shutting the door.  "Lieu."

"Kowalski.  I see you brought them back."

"I have custody of Rich here fully and I'm splitting with Danny.  This is Wyatt and his other Daddy."

Welsh shook his hand.  "Welcome to the two-seven.  You do what?"

"I work with the military on a special project out of Cheyenne Mountain.  I'm an Anthropologist."

"Interesting."  He stared at the babies.  "We have paperwork.  I called down to get it when you called."

"Thanks, Welsh."  He sat down to fill them out.  They had the files Gibbs had made in Danny's briefcase so it went faster.  Someone finally knocked and walked in.  He looked over.  "Hey, Vecchio."

"Kowalski.  Want to explain this?"

"Close the door."  He did that.  "Think your Ma would let me pay her to sit?"

"She does Maria.  I don't see why not.  Why is it necessary?"

Danny coughed.  "All we can note is that someone did it for us, Detective.  We found out Friday."

"So....  Someone did the DNA thing?" Vecchio asked.  Stan nodded.  "And now what?"

"I have full custody of Rich.  Here, hold 'im while I finish this.  He wants the pen."  He handed the baby over.  Vecchio's sister had three, he knew about babies.  "I'm splitting with Danny since he's in Colorado but he'll live with me."  He grinned.  "That's Rich and the other is Wyatt."

"Did you name 'em?" Welsh asked.  Danny shook his head.  "Good to know."  He took the completed forms and took the baby, handing them to Vecchio.  "Get me copies and the birth certificates."  Danny handed those over.  "Thank you."  He smiled at the baby.  "Hi."  The baby beamed at him and patted his chest.  "How old?"

"Wyatt is four months," Danny told him.  "Richard is just over a year.  His birthday was a few weeks back."

"Good.  They're adorable."  He looked at Kowalski. "Unless it's an emergency, they don't come here again."

"Of course not.  They might catch somethin' from someone."  Vecchio came back with the paperwork, handing him the birth certificates.  He put them back into the folders and sat back, taking Wyatt.  "Here, let your other daddy rest," he ordered with a grin.  Wyatt cooed and snuggled in.  "Good boy, Wyatt."

Vecchio looked at him.  "Ma'll want a real explanation."

"We signed non-disclosure statements, Detective," Danny told him.

"My mother's purebred Italian.  She'll want a real reason."  He looked at him.  "Non- disclosure.  Government?"  Danny nodded.  "They did the DNA thing?"  They both nodded.  "Crap."

"Basically," Stan agreed.  "At least I only had two.  One guy had four and took in one that they couldn't find the parents on.  All under 2."

Ray shuddered.  "Poor man."

"He's twenty-one," Danny told him. "He's still got the energy to follow them around."

Ray shuddered again.  "That poor man.  Parents?"  Stan shook his head.  "Friends at least?"

"He's moving to a small town in Georgia.  His old one's too dangerous."

Ray walked off moaning.  "I'll warn Ma you're both coming to dinner tonight."

Stan smiled at Danny.  "See, not a big problem even if they do get loud."

Danny smiled.  "Jack got loud too."  He looked at Welsh, taking Richard back since he was falling asleep.  "Here, nap on me, Rich," he said quietly, earning a content baby.  "He'll need a few days off."

"One of those was his family leave paperwork, Doctor Jackson.  He's got eleven weeks to move, find a nice spot, and talk Vecchio's mother into doing daycare."  Stan smiled.  "Not that she'll mind.  She'll gush over those two.  They're sweet and cute."

"They are but Rich has a wicked sense of timing," Stan told him.  "Fusses when I'm trying to eat something."  He looked at his sons.  "You wanna make the announcement for us?"

"I can do that."  They got up, Danny putting the strap of his briefcase over his shoulder.  Welsh led the way out.  "Guys.  Someone made Kowalski a daddy, twice.  We're not going to talk about the reason or ask him.  He signed an agreement saying he wouldn't sue or talk about it when he found out.  Got me?"  They all nodded, staring at the two boys.  "In Kowalski's paws is Wyatt, his younger son, and in Doctor Jackson's hands is his other son Richard.  Wyatt's four months, Richard just turned a year.  Doctor Jackson will be around now and then since he's a relative too.  No questions?  Good."  He walked back into his office, leaving it there.

"Not going to cut it," Huey told them.

Danny smiled.  "It's all we can tell you, Detective."

"They had a non-disclosure agreement," Vecchio told him.  He took the other one to hold.  "Hey, Wyatt.  You're tiny."  The baby yawned and reached up to grab his nose.  "Good eyesight.  Better than your dad's for sure."  He handed him back.  "Come to dinner.  Ma said so."

"Thanks, Vecchio.  Going to see Benny."

"He's on statue duty," he warned.

"That's fine.   It's nearly three."  He walked off with Danny and the boys, taking them to the consulate once they were back in the car.  He checked his watch and grimaced.  "We have until four-thirty unless I can talk Turnbull into taking a turn."  He got out and walked inside, smiling at Turnbull when he ran into him and his feather duster.  "I need ta see you guys for an announcement.  The Dragon Lady don't have to attend."

"Good news?  Like an engagement?"

Stan smiled.  "Someone made me a daddy twice."  The feather duster dropped and the young Mountie gaped.  "Yeah, and my bestest buddy is out there."

"Let me see them and then I'll relieve him."  He took off his apron, grabbing his feather duster on the way back to his office.  "Inspector?"  She came out of her office.  "Detective Kowalski is here with his two new sons."

"He has kids?"

"He said someone made him a father twice, sir.  I'm going to relieve Fraser for a few minutes."

"Fine.  Whatever."  She went back to her desk to take some antacid.  She'd need it apparently.

Stan came back with the kids and Danny, and Fraser once Turnbull had gotten a good coo in.  He smiled at the Inspector when she came out.   "Hey."

"Not newborns?"

"No, someone was hiding them and somehow I got found.  The older one is Richard and the younger is Wyatt."

"They're strong looking boys," she praised.  "Fraser is not a babysitter and neither is Turnbull or Diefenbaker."

"Of course not!  Dief will feed 'em donuts."  She walked off shaking her head.  He smiled at Fraser, who was staring at them.  "Hi."

"Good afternoon."  He took Wyatt from him.  "You are very tiny," he said gently.  The baby burped and then cooed.  He smiled.  "Feel better?"  He looked at him.  "That's good.  You'll learn how to say excuse me in a few months."

"He's only four months," Danny told him.  "Hi, Doctor Daniel Jackson."

"Constable Benton Fraser."  He shook his hand.  "And that one is yours?"

"Mine too," Stan told him.  "Danny's related to Wyatt, Frase.  We're splitting custody but he does military stuff."

"That's most reasonable."  He gave Wyatt back and then took Richard, who played with his lanyard and hat.  "You're very bright."  The baby smirked at him.  "Here."  He handed him back.  "When are you introducing them to Ray's mother?"

"Tanight.  I'm gonna ask her if she can let me pay her to do daycare."

"If not, I know of a few good ones.  We'll figure it out together, Stanley."  Stan grinned.  "Are you off work for a few weeks?"

"Eleven," he agreed.  "It's the family leave act thingy Congress passed."

"Good enough.  I'll help you look for a bigger place as well."  He smiled at the boys.  "They'll need some room to roam."

"Yeah, Richard can already wander," Stan told him.  "Fair warning, Frase.  He's attracted to shiny things."

Danny smiled.  "Just because he kept trying to steal Horatio's watch," he teased.

"That ain't all."  He grinned back.  Then he grinned at Fraser.  "Ma probably wants you over as well."

"I'll check with Ray before I go outside."  He patted both boys on the head.  "I'm happy for you, Stan.  You're a lucky man."

Stan smiled.  "Thanks, Frase. We gotta go get the necessary things, like diapers.  See ya later."  They walked out together, taking the boys shopping for clothes, diapers, and other baby things that they'd need.

Dinner was going to be very loud.  Ma would squeal and babble at them in Italian for hours when she saw the boys.  He did stop to call Ray Vecchio.  "Should I plan on attending as well?"  He smiled.  "Thank you kindly, Ray.  No, I didn't ask.  Thank you.  You have a good day as well."  He hung up and went to take his spot back.  "Thank you, Turnbull," he said quietly, taking the correct spot once he was out of it.

Turnbull went back inside to his dusting, happy about the new additions to his extended consulate family.  They were so adorable!

***

Xander finally made it to the Magic Box at ten that night, looking very tired.  He put down the carriers and went back for the other one.  "Here," he said, flopping down.  "I dropped off the one that was Dru's with Angel."  Spike gave him an odd look.  "No one told you?  They mixed Dru and a rock demon, Spike.  Angel took him in.  If they can't, he'll find him a good surrogate mom."

"Good to know," he muttered.  "Looks like I need to talk to the nancy ponce again."  He looked at the one who smelled like a half demon then at the other one.  "Who're we?"

"The half-demon is one I agreed to take in since Ethan said he couldn't handle it.  We're pretty sure her momma's the breeder demons they used to give birth to the kids.  The other two are my son and one of my daughters.   The other two daughters are with their fathers.  Don couldn't take his daughter tonight and Horatio needed a few days to get things set up but he'll meet us in Georgia to take him for a few weeks while I do any fixing I have to on the house."  He looked at Giles.  "I do have a house, right?"

Giles smiled and nodded.  "You do have a house, Xander."  He came over to look at them, smiling at Ethan's daughter.  "He does make pretty spawns of Janus."

Xander pinched him.  "She's my daughter now, Giles, and Willow said all kids cause chaos."

"From what I've heard, they do," he agreed, smiling at him.  "Are you sure?"

"You'd rather have a probable witch and a half-blood demon in the system?"

"No," he admitted.   "It's a kind thing you're doing."

Xander grinned. "I got to scare the person who wanted us to keep it quiet too.  It got my frustration out."  He looked at Spike.  "Straighten her out for me please?"  Spike gave him an odd look but straightened the baby up in the carrier.  "Thanks.  I can hear Willow babbling up the street."

"She's with Anya," Giles warned.

Xander shrugged.  "That's fine."   The girls walked in together and he waved.  "I'm back from the hellhole of politicians.  I even got to scare one."

Willow squealed and came over to look at the babies.  "You got all three?"

"No, that one is half Ethan, half demon," Xander told her with a point.  She gaped.  "The breeder demons they used, Wills.  I couldn't let her go into the system.  There's no telling who would know if she manifests."

"Good point.  But aren't we so cute!" she cooed, teasing bellies.  She looked at the others.  "Two of your three?"  He held up four fingers.  "Including her?"  He switched to five fingers.  "You're joking," she ordered flatly.

"Apparently I'm the preferred breeder for baseline skills.  They gave me four kids: three daughters and a son.  Then I adopted Ethan's."  He looked at Buffy, who was staring at the babies like they were demons.  "Don't even think about slaying them," he ordered calmly.

"Not.  I'm scared to death of those things.  They're contagious."  She moved to call Tara.  "Xander's back."

"She can see them tomorrow," Xander said loudly enough for Tara to hear.  "Bring cookies, please?"  He looked at Anya.  "Hi."

"Hi," she said weakly.  "You're...."

"A father," he said when she got stuck for words.  "A single father apparently since you dumped me."

She glared at him.  "They'll take my comfortable life."

He snorted.  "That's fine, Anya.  I'm moving anyway."

"Then I want the tv and the furniture.  I get half."

"Only if we were married.  Which we're not," Xander told her.

"Palimony," she said smugly.

He shook his head.  "You have to prove a substantial amount of time living together, Anya.  We only lived together two months.  No judge would give it to you."  She stamped a foot.  "Quit, now.  I will not have my kids shown such fits.  They don't need to learn that."  She gaped but he stared her down until she walked off pouting.  "By the way, I'm moving to Georgia by the end of the week.  You're going to have to tell the landlord who's going to pay the rent."  He looked at Giles, who shook his head.  "Sorry.  Laying it out up-front."

"I agree.  It's easier that way.  Fewer fits.  She doesn't need to learn that."  He took Ethan's child to hold.  Willow took the boy.  Xander took his daughter.  Spike and Buffy watched from far away so they wouldn't be corrupted.  He looked at them.  "They won't bite you."

"Bet me.  She bites," Xander told him.  "She's teething."  He grinned at Buffy.  "Saw Riley."

"Is he okay?"

"They bred him to Graham."  She moaned.  "Twice."  She shuddered and walked off to get some ice cream.  "Get me a drink too, please?" he called after her.  He looked at Spike.  "Dru's is a son.  He's a rock demon cross so he's very solid.  If you tickle him it comes out to protect him."  That got a nod and Spike lit a cigarette.

"Go outside," Willow ordered with a point.  "The babies don't need secondhand smoke."

Spike grumbled but did that, going to get away from the tots and the brain rotting they were inducing.  He smiled at Tara when he saw her, opening the door since her hands were full.  She squealed once she saw the babies, coming in to demand her turn.  Xander let her hold his daughter and she blissed out, cuddling and loving her.   Spike shook his head.  She was a maternal sort.  She'd love on those kids until they were older than she was now.

***

Mac looked around the staff meeting he had called.  "I know you're wondering why Don and I got called to DC suddenly."  They all nodded.  "Don's got one, I've got one, we've got one together.  Don's is with the other parent before you ask.  She'll be back soon.  He has to arrange some stuff and so do I before we have room for her."

"For who?" Danny asked.

Mac opened the door, smiling at Don since he had the baby.  "Come on."

Don strolled in.  "Hey, guys.  Look what the military made Mac and me."

Stella passed out.

Danny stared.  "That's a baby."

"Yes, it is," Lindsey agreed, giving them horrified looks.

"Aww, who's precious then?" Sheldon asked, taking the baby to hold.  "Aren't you sweet, snookums.  What's your name?"

"She's Emily," Mac said, going to get the carrier from the hall.  "This is my son with someone else, Craig.  I'll have primary custody of both but Don will be moving closer to me for Emily's sake; Craig's father is in DC.  Don has another daughter by someone else, her name is Selene.  He'll have her once he gets things settled and her other father will have visitation from Georgia."

Danny stared.  "They're babies, Mac."

"I know that, Danny."

"Way to state the obvious, Danny," Lindsey said.  He glared at her.  "Can I hold them?"

"No," Don told her.  "You'll infect them with your meanness.  She's mean enough already."  He took Craig to hold.  "Hey, little man.  Let's wake up Auntie Stella."  He kicked her on the foot.  Danny helpfully spilled some of his bottle of water on her face.  "Thanks, Messer."

"We won't get answers until she wakes up.  Now that she is, how did two guys have kids?"

"The military thought we needed ta be daddies," Don said with a small shrug.  "They found us with DNA once they found the little ones."

"We have non-disclosure agreements," Mac noted.  "No talking about it."  He looked at Stella.  "Are you all right?"

"There's two now!"  Danny helped her back into her seat.

"Emily is mine and Mac's," Don summarized.  "Craig's Mac's and a guy named Tony's.  I've got Selene but she's with her other daddy in Sunnydale."  Sheldon gave him a horrified look.  "He's moving to Georgia this week."

Stella took Emily from Sheldon.  "Hi, princess."  She got a grin back.  "How old are we?"

"Twenty months," Mac told her.  "Needless to say, Don and I are taking some more leave time to get things straightened out.  Yes, Lindsey, you can hold the babies later.  Let Stella first."

"She'll hit you otherwise," Danny quipped.  "Can I have him, Don?"  He carefully handed over Craig.  "How old are you?"

"Six months," Mac said proudly.  "His other father is at NCIS.  So I'll be rearranging the emergency contact information I have, Danny and Stella."  They both nodded. They kept a copy for Mac in case he got injured in the field. "Don and I are both allowed eleven weeks of leave.  I'm taking five right now."

"I'm taking six," Don agreed. "I've got to move."  That got a smile from Danny.  "Any who wanna help with that, you're more than welcome."

Stella grimaced.  "Ewww, Em."

Sheldon gave her a look when she tried to hand her back. "She did it on you."

Danny huffed and took that one, switching with her so he could change the baby.  "Hopeless," he muttered as he walked past Don.  "Diapers?"

"Bag's in the car," Don admitted, jogging off to get it.

Mac smiled at his team.  "I'm hoping this won't lead to anything other than less overtime on our parts.  At least one of them will be up here at all times since we share Emily."

"How?" Sheldon asked.  "Without violating the non-disclosure."

"The project basically wanted to create future great soldiers," he told him. "They used a few officers, some soldiers, and a few others.  They separated it into future soldiers and future scientists."  That got some nods.  "Most of us are okay with it after venting but one father did walk off saying he couldn't handle it.  His son's fine with his other father, who is in Chicago."

"Good to know," Stella said, looking down. "Did you just pee on me, Craig?  Am I wearing a scent that makes a baby dirty their diaper?  If so I'll quit wearing it.  Just tell me which one it is."

"I don't think they need the excuse, Stella," Mac offered, taking him back to change him as well.  Then he handed him back.  "I had one in my overnight bag."  He sat down.  "Stella, while I'm on leave, you're in charge.  If you have to hand off, hand it to Danny."  She nodded.  Danny and Don came back.  "Thanks, guys."

"Not an issue," Danny assured him, sitting down with Emily again.  He saw Lindsey staring and handed her over.  "Here.  Get the cooing out now."

"Not all girls coo, Messer," she said with a small glare.

"Bet me," Stella said.  She smiled at Emily as she took her back, letting someone else have the baby boy.  "Hi, precious.  I'm your Auntie Stella.  Can you say Stella?"

"Moo!" she said happily, beaming at her.

"No, I'm not a cow.  Those aren't udders."  Emily pouted.  "Stella.  Try it, you can say it.  Stella."

"Wa!" she said happily, beaming at her.

"Close enough," she agreed happily.  "You'll learn."  She traded off with Lindsey, but Emily got stolen by Sheldon fairly quickly.  She smiled at the other one.  "Hi, Craig."

Emily beamed at her daddy.  "Tana!" she said happily.

Lindsey looked at him.  "I'm going to get you for that."  Flack just smirked back.

"Kids, you're older than the toddlers," Sheldon complained.  He smiled at Emily.  "That's very good to talk, Emily."  She beamed and took his finger teasing her stomach to chew on.  "Awww, are we teething?"

"Yup, drool everywhere on the plane," Don told him, sitting down as well.  "We'll get Selene in about a week.  Just after Xander gets to Georgia."  Sheldon gave him another odd look.  "You know him?"

"Heard of him.  Why?"

"Xander's got four from the same people plus he took in the one who didn't have parents."

"That's kind of him," Stella said quietly, smiling at the baby.  "Someone's tired."

"It's been a big day," Mac agreed, taking his son back.  "Hi, Craig."  Craig snuggled down on his shoulder, getting comfy.  "Good boy.  You rest.  You'll drive us nuts later."  Don nodded, cracking Danny up.  "If you want to offer to babysit you can but it is not mandatory," Mac told them.  "No spoiling them with every toy in existence either."

"You know, they make baby DNA and fingerprint kits," Danny said with a grin.  "Make sure the nephew and niece are kick-ass CSI."

Mac smiled.  "When they're a bit older, Danny.  When they won't eat the fingerprint powder."  Don nodded at that.  "For now, Emily likes Barney and Teletubbies.  Craig just likes noise."

"Selene likes to bat at the noise," Don told them.  "She's a bit picky.  Took her two whole hours to learn to like my shoulder.  She kept patting it to get it softer."

Stella smiled.  "Too many muscles," she teased.

"Definitely."  He grinned.  "My parents are coming over tomorrow.  So if you hear screaming it's my mother."  He looked at Mac.  "We're going back to your place tonight?"

"I am,  you can come over tomorrow, Don. I can handle walking the floor if Craig gets up."

"You sure?"

"I'll be fine."

Don stood up.  "Then I'll take my last bachelor night out."  He grinned.  "Stella, let's do the welcoming party once I've moved?  And Mac if he's gonna move too.  That good, gives you plenty of time to shop?"

"Works for me," she agreed happily.  "Danny?"  He shrugged and nodded.  "Want me to spread the news around, Mac?"

"I'm going to take him to introduce him to Sid and them," Mac promised.  "They're next."  That got a smile and an understanding nod.  She knew he and Peyton were doing...something.  He stood up.  "Let's go do that so we can go home," he said quietly.

Don took Emily back, putting her back into her carrier.  "We'll be home, guys.  Call if you need baby cuddles or help."  They walked out together, heading down to the morgue.  "Sid?" he asked once they were on the elevator.

"I'm ...seeing Peyton."

"Ah.  That'll work."  They got off on the morgue's floor, walking into the morgue.  "Yo, we're back!" he announced.  Peyton and Sid both stared at them.  He grinned.  "With two of the three of the reasons we left so suddenly for DC."

Mac walked over, letting them gather around. "This is Craig.  He's mine," he said quietly.  "He just fell asleep."

"He's adorable," Sid praised with a smile, smoothing a hand over his hair.  "Absolutely perfect looking, Mac."  He looked at the other one.  "Aww, you're pretty too.  What's your name?"

"Emily.  She's mine and Mac's together.  I've got another daughter but she's with her other daddy."

Sid stared at him.  "Please tell me you're kidding."

Don shook his head.  "'Fraid not, Sid."

"Some crackpot scientist?"

"That the military stopped," Mac assured him.  "There's more than these three.  Craig's other father is in NCIS in DC."  He looked at Peyton.  "We've decided that I'm going to have custody of them and Don's going to move either across the hall from me or we're moving in together," he said quietly.

She nodded.  "It's important that they see their parents.  Do the two missing parents have visitation?"  Don nodded.  "Your other is a daughter?"

"Selene.  Her daddy is in Sunnydale but he's moving to Georgia this week."

"Thank God," Sid muttered.  Mac smiled and nodded.

"Sheldon said the same thing," Don said dryly.  He looked at Peyton.  "Not stealing him."

"I know you're not, Don.  A child always has to come first in a parent's affections."  She smiled.  "Though you do make a stunning daughter together.  She's beautiful."

"Thanks.  She's heavy too.  Twenty months."  He put the carrier on a table, letting them see her closer.  "Selene and Craig are both six months."

"It's a fun age," Sid told them.

"Drooled everywhere on the plane," Don told him.

"Of course they did.  They're babies, they do that."  He smiled.  "So, taking leave time, Mac?"

"Five weeks.  If I need more I can take more."  That got a nod from both of them.  "Stella's in charge. Danny after her.  Stella's planning the party to welcome them all after we've moved."

"That's fine.  Gives me plenty of time to shop," Sid said happily.  He patted them again.  "I should get back to work."  He walked off.

Don looked at Mac, then nodded.  "I'll give you two some privacy."

"It's not necessary, Don," Peyton said quietly, her British accent coming out more fully.  "When do you get Selene back?"

"About a week.  When her Daddy gets to Georgia and I've got some stuff set up for her.  Mac wanted them kept together so we wouldn't have to argue over Em's bed."

"That's most reasonable."  She patted them both.  "They're adorable.  I'm sure the other is too.  I'll be over soon to help move things, Mac."

"Thanks, Amanda."  He smiled at her and they took the babies over to Don's squad room, getting an instant silence.  "It's a long story we can't tell you," Mac noted.  He looked at Captain Gerrard.  "In your office?"

"Please."  He followed them, closing the door.  "I'm assuming this is why you left suddenly, Flack?"

"The military stopped the crackpot who mixed us to make Emily here and Mac and another guy to make Craig, plus me and another guy to make my other baby girl Selene."  His boss gaped.  He handed over the paperwork he had downloaded and filled out on the plane.  "Here.  Family leave.  We've decided Mac's got custody of Craig and Em so I'm moving next to or in with him and my other girl so they're all together."

He looked over the paperwork, nodding slightly.  "You'll need to redo your insurance."  He looked up.  "For obvious reasons, the kids don't do more than visit."

"Of course not," Mac agreed.

"They might learn to like Montana if they did," Don agreed sarcastically.

"Tana!" Emily said happily.

"Yup, her.  You're so smart," he praised, getting a smile back.  He grinned at his boss.  "We're finding a good daycare while I'm gone too.  If you need me to, I can do paperwork at night or something.  Not an issue, Cap."

"That's fine, Flack.  Do your parents know?"

"Yup, called and told 'em.  Ma's scream probably echoed over this way too."

Gerrard shook his head.  "You mentioned a third?"

"With her other daddy.  I'll get her back when he's in Georgia.  He's moving this week and I need ta get stuff for 'em.  This way we're not overloaded while we're moving.  He said he can handle her and the others while he's doing the long-distance moving thing."

"That's fine," he decided.  "Anything else I need to know?"

"Non-disclosure agreement," Flack said grimly.

"Of course.  The government stepped in, they don't want to be embarrassed.  Amend your other paperwork to include them.  Keep them out of the station from now on."

Flack nodded.  "Of course.  Wanna tell the guys?"

"Nope."  He looked at him.  "I'm staying safely in here away from them."

"Fine."  He stood up and opened the door.  "Yo, guys?"  They all stared at him.  "I've got two daughters.  One's mine with Mac, one's mine with another guy.  Mac's got a son with another guy too.  We're going to be doing a cooperative parenting thing together so neither of us go insane with the babies.  Don't ask, we can't tell you how, the government said so.  Any presents, wait until we've moved in a few weeks."  He grinned.  "My other daughter'll be up in about a week."

One of them opened his mouth then shook his head.  "You and *Taylor* have one?"

"Yeah, Em."  He brought her out.  "This is Emily, my older one.  Our older one.  Craig, Mac's son, and my daughter Selene are both six months."

That guy shook his head.  "Did the labor hurt?" another quipped.

"Don't know, can't find the person who gave birth," he said dryly.  "The government said it was fixed."  That got a horrified look.   "You can come coo.  Stella passed out."  They came over to look at the babies, mostly smiling at them when he brought out Craig.  Everyone should worship their kids.  "By the way, my parents are coming over tomorrow.  They already knew."

"I wondered why there was a scream that echoed the other night," one guy quipped.

"I swear I heard Ma from DC," Don quipped back.

"Wouldn't surprise me," he said with a grin.  "So, happy being a daddy?"

"Scared shitless.  But we accept tips, people.  That way my daughters don't end up on a pole some year."

"Tana!" Emily squealed.

Lindsey moaned, shaking her head.  "I was only bringing a report.  She's got great eyesight."  She handed the detective the report and patted the baby on the head. "Try Lindsey?"

"Tana," she cooed, taking her hand to gnaw on.

"Sorry, teething," Don offered.  He grinned.  "I'm also off for six weeks, guys.  Gotta move.  Anyone wanna help, you can."  That got a nod and they went back to work after one last pet.  He grinned back at Mac.  "We ready?"

"Sure."  He took both the children back, taking them down to his car.  Craig got put into his seat then Emily got buckled back in.  He looked at Don.  "Nine?"

"My parents will be over at ten."

"That's fine.  I'll be up and have them dressed by then."  He walked around to get in and drive. "Have a good night, Don.  Don't have a hangover.  Your mothers' going to be squealing and screaming in turns tomorrow."

"'Specially since I don't have the other one."  He got into his own car and headed back to his place to start the packing process.  They had agreed Mac would find out if he had an open place in his building or find the new place for them. That way they didn't both have to look.  It was going to be a long week.

***

Horatio and Eric walked into the staff meeting he had called on the way back from the airport, closing the door behind him.  "We have to talk."  He nodded at his boss.  "There has been a situation that has recently arisen."

Eric looked at Horatio then shook his head.  "Sorry, he's still grumpy.  We got called to DC by NCIS to talk about some kids that got found after a special operations project caved in."  The Police Chief spluttered and choked.  "It is what you're thinking."  He looked at Horatio, then grinned at the stunned friends and coworkers.  "We have a non-disclosure agreement but I can tell you I'm sharing custody of my daughter with her other father.  He's presently moving to Georgia this week from California."

Calleigh slowly inched a hand up.  "Excuse me, but two fathers?"

Horatio nodded, taking off his sunglasses.  "That's why there's non-disclosure agreements.  I have a son.  His name is Liam."  He put down the pictures.  "The girl is Catty, which I don't know how her name came to be."

"I asked Xander and the guys who were part of that project.  Xander said that Catty means mine in the mother's native language," Eric told him.  That got a single nod.  "So I'm taking a bit of family leave.  Momma and I talked...."

"You mean your mother screamed and you listened?" Calleigh suggested dryly, smiling a bit.

"Yeah," Eric agreed, grinning back and nodding.  "Oh, yeah.  There was much screaming.  My father was calling a priest on my sister's cellphone so it became three- person screaming on their end.  Anyway, I'm moving back home so they can help with the childcare stuff and all that.  Xander and I are splitting custody, though I have primary.  I've got Catty back at Momma's right now actually.  Though if the nephew is as sick as Momma thinks, she'll be going back to Xander's fairly quickly.  We think he has chicken pox and Catty's only twenty months.  So, boss, I need some family leave time."

"As do I," Horatio said.  He looked at Eric.  "If you do have to send her to Xander suddenly I'll take her so I can pick up Liam.  I should be able to get things set up within a day."

Eric looked at him. "You and Xander need to make better peace," he said bluntly.

"I think he's a bit young for all this responsibility, Eric.  He's only twenty-one or so."  He looked at the staring CSI and detectives.  "This came as a shock to us too.  All we know for sure is that somehow they took semen or blood samples for their experiments.  We've found all the children born but there may be embryos.  If you hear *anything* on that subject, tell us and then the people at NCIS who're handling this.  The lead agent's name is Jethro Gibbs.  He's apparently one of the top agents in the agency.  We've sat on the same panel before at conventions."  He swallowed.  "Any questions so far?"

His sister-in-law Yelina raised her hand. "They did prove it, correct?"

"They found us through genetic testing," Eric told her.  "The program that created them didn't keep comprehensive notes that we've found so far.  They're still looking.  They think the scientists fled with their notes when they escaped.  One of the fathers, the other father of both of our kids actually, got told about the kids, raided their former base, found information and told the father that's at NCIS on Gibbs' team."

"Which pissed that whole agency off," Horatio added grimly.  "We all heard rumors about that small reserve base upstate that got raided with local and federal agents in addition to military ones?"  Everyone nodded.  "That's one of the bases the children were being stored on."  He looked at them. "I should not have to take off the full eleven weeks I have from the government. I'm hoping to only take about three so I have everything set up and a good nanny or daycare situation going.  Until then, Calleigh, you're still in charge."

"Of course.  When do we get to meet them?"

"Whenever Momma says," Eric said dryly.  She laughed at that and so did a few others.  "She's being clingy to the newest grandchild.  Considers her a miracle."

Horatio looked at him.  "She said she was thinking about asking the same people if they could make you a son to carry on the family name, Eric."

"I heard.  I yelled back," he said bluntly, cracking most everyone up.  "I'm going to be doing good to handle one daughter.  One wandering, slobbering, cooing, chatty daughter with a 'tude about redheads."  He looked at Horatio.  "I don't know why Catty doesn't like your hair..."

"I don't know either.  We'll figure it out, Eric."  He looked at them.  "We'll arrange for greeting parties in a few weeks, once we've got them settled into Miami for a while.  Until then, boss, we both need paperwork.  The one online was down."

"I can get the forms for you, Horatio.  You'll also need to amend your insurance and HR paperwork."  That got a nod from both of them.  "Delko, how long were you going to take off?"

"I was thinking four weeks to start.  Save the rest in case she got sick."

"That's reasonable.  How much vacation time do you have banked?  I know Horatio had nearly four months of it banked for emergencies and then another two of it in the open."

"I think I have about a month and a half total at the moment," he admitted.  "Plus, we need to see you and only you here in a minute."  He looked at them.  "Horatio?  You wanna...."  He nodded, taking his boss out to tell him about Speed.  Eric closed the door.  "We found out that they'd done other things, guys," he said honestly, looking around. "Including kidnaping some of the potential fathers so they'd have fresh samples.  Including rigging guns to jam."  He looked at Calleigh, who was pale.  He nodded.  "We saw Speed and his son Doug there.  Doug's cute."   He grinned and pulled out a picture, handing it to her.  "He's fine but he's up there testifying against them.  He managed to escape with his son.  We have *no* idea why they took him since they were focused on genetics and the paranormal stuff.  All we know is that he wasn't killed.  They arranged that whole thing.  We have no idea and Speed's not sure about coming home at the moment.  He's had a bad year."

She blinked at him.  "Bad year?"  He nodded.  "How old is Doug?"

"Twenty months.  Speed still has bruises and he got free a few months back, Calleigh," he said more gently.  "I've got his number in DC but they're helping him right now."

"Oh, God," she whispered.  "Call him!  Right now!"

He called and let her have his phone, watching her walk off talking to him.  Eric looked at them.  "We're telling Alexx separately, guys.  Let us handle that one?"  They all nodded slowly.  "I know it's strange.  Horatio freaked out badly when he found out.  He and Xander got into a lot of fights before they finally agreed on custody of Liam.  Horatio pushed all the kid's buttons on purpose.  It's not going to be a happy partnership but it should be okay for now.  They've called a truce.  Horatio has a temper and Speed said Liam has the same temper."  He grinned.  "We're at the wait and see stage.  Speed won't be done in DC before the month is up.  Possibly not for another four months.  They're slowly putting *all* the people involved in this project away.  They even used their own people."

"How did they get samples?" Yelina asked.

"I don't know.  I know I have some stored and some in a sperm bank.  Maybe Horatio has some stored for later use if something happens."  He shrugged.  "I don't know, Yelina.  You'd have to ask him that.  I didn't feel like asking him about his semen."

Frank choked but smirked a bit at that answer.  "So, the kids will be here?"

"They will be here.  Xander and he worked it out so Xander has primary custody of Liam but all Horatio has to do is ask.  Xander made a very good point about how dangerous being Horatio is.  I have primary custody of Catty and all I have to do is call and I can drop her off again.  He did say he'd get pushy to have them at least part of the time.  Then again, Xander has a few kids.  He's got four naturally from this project born and adopted another one that didn't have parents they could find."  That got a shudder from Yelina.  "We're all sharing custody with him so he'll have anywhere from one to five of them at a time.  He's moving to a tiny town in Georgia, a few hours drive from here.  Momma's anxious for him to get there so we can go meet him.  She wants to grill the other father of my daughter.  Even Poppi's not helping that any."

Ryan cleared his throat.  "Are you okay with this, Eric?"

"I ranted and screamed before we went to see the kids.  A few of us did.  Then I saw her and she's adorable.  She's cuddly and she coos at my hair.  She said I'm cute."  Ryan laughed at that.  "We worked it out and it's all right.  There were some very strange combinations.  They got a linguist who works with the military and one Chicago cop.  The linguist is apparently a super brain.  They were using the cops and Xander as what they were calling baseline and then adding in combinations to see how was going to turn out to be better for their long-term plans."

"Which means there's probably a lot of embryos or something," Ryan finished.

Eric nodded.  "Probably.  I know  Xander's very worried about that.  I also know that I'll be getting a maintenance check from the government for Catty.  It was part of the hush agreement.   Horatio came back in with Calleigh.  "The boss?"

"He'll send us the papers later today.  We need to clear our desks."  That got a nod.  "As of this moment, we're not to talk about Speed yet.  Until we can figure out if they had help within the department to make that scene happen, I know I can trust all of you.  I do not know about everyone else.  Am I clear?"  They nodded.  "We'll be telling Alexx ourselves."  He looked at Eric.  "Anything I missed?"

"I told them about Speed, about the embryos, about the baseline thing.  It should be fine."  He gathered the pictures.  "So, we're going to go make Alexx cry.  I'll call when I find out if Catty's staying for now or not.  He can call around when Liam gets down here. We can have a party then."  He grinned.  "Do not spoil my daughter, guys.  She's already being spoiled by my parents and her other father.  He's really good so far and I'll expect some of you to want to call him.  Let him get settled in Georgia first since he's moving from near LA.  He's moving to an old farmhouse."

"Drug seizure," Horatio added.  He looked around.  "Any other questions?"

"Do we need to reopen the case?" Calleigh asked.

Horatio nodded.  "I want to know what happened to his gun, Calleigh.  He swore to us that he had cleaned it not even a month before.  Within weeks."

She nodded. "I'll pull the case quietly.  You'll be around for sudden calls?"  They both nodded.  "Then go clean your desks, guys."  She handed the phone back to Eric.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  We all got a bit fussy about him."  He smiled, nodding.  "Want me to tell Alexx, H?"

"No, I will, Eric.  Thank you.  Go finish up your last case."  He nodded, going to do that. He looked at them.  "If you have questions, let us know.  I told Jethro that if he needed help he could call us.  Mac Taylor said the same thing when he and Detective Flack ended up with three kids between the two of them, one shared.  Dismissed."  He walked off, going to the morgue.  "Alexx," he said as he walked in.  She looked over and smiled.  "We have to talk.  Are you nearly done with her?"

"Not even close.  I've barely opened her."

He gave her a look.  "You'll want to put her back for a few minutes, Alexx.  It's going to be a painful talk."

"Was I fired?"

"No, but we need to talk about personal matters, mine and yours."  She looked confused but put the body back into the cooler, letting him take her into the office and close the door once she had her gloves off.  He sat her down and sat across from her, looking at her for a minute.  "This is going to be painful but I need you to listen to the whole thing.  Please?"  She nodded slowly, still looking confused.  "First of all, you know  Eric and I were called to DC over the weekend?"

"Something about a case," she agreed.

"It turned out to be an NCIS case, not ours.  They were informed that a former special operations project that covered multiple agencies and branches of the military were doing some things that aren't anywhere near ethical.  They had known some of it before, ACIS is presently putting the people in this program away as fast as they can."  She nodded again, her hands clenched.  He pulled out his copy of his pictures, looking at them.  "What they called us up there for was because someone mundane in the town that the project had been working out of heard some information about them and some genetics work."  He glanced down then at her.  He put out the two pictures of the kids.  "They decided to not only try to genetically engineer future soldiers, but also the next generation of scientists by picking their parents."  She let out a squeak, looking at the pictures.  "The young lady is Eric's daughter Catty.  The little boy is my son Liam."  He smiled a bit.  "They share the same other father."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me correctly," he assured her.  "We're not sure of the full details.  The other father of our children was the one who heard.  They considered him a good baseline to combine more experienced and more highly educated lines with.  One of a few.  They were using some other officers as well, including one of the people on the case at NCIS."

"Where are they?"

"Catty is with Eric's mother but she thinks they may have chicken pox so she may be going back to Xander, the other father.  He's moving to Georgia later this week.  He's out by LA."  She nodded slowly at that.  "He's got Liam with him.  He has primary custody because he made some very valid points about how dangerous our life is.  Eric has his family to protect Catty if something happens.  I have Yelina but it's not the same amount of support.  He did assure me all I have to do is ask. Even though I did apparently piss him off to no end during the weekend talks."  He swallowed.  "This is the painful part."  He looked at the other picture then at her.  "We also found out that they've decided some of them should be taken hostage. They arranged things so they could be taken hostage.  I know you pulled a bullet out of him but we're reopening a case."  He put down the other picture, face down.  "He's recently escaped and blew the whistle, Alexx, but he wasn't safe.  He's in DC with his son Doug."  She turned over the picture and looked, then burst out crying.  He moved closer to hold her.  "Shhh.  He's healing."

"My boy," she sobbed, looking at him.  "But...how?"

"I don't know.  That's why Calleigh's reopening the case.  I do know that they had to have help from someone here in Miami.  Speed himself didn't know."  He pulled out the phone number he had written down ad put it into her hand.  "He's having to stay up there to testify right now," he said quietly.  "We are not letting this get out.  This is why I didn't call you to the meeting everyone one heard at."  He licked his lips, trying to get her calmed down.  "He's fine and he's healing, Alexx."

"Healing?" she asked, sniffling.  She grabbed some tissue to blow her nose, then wiped her eyes with a clean edge.  "My baby was hurt?"

"He's still got some healing cuts.  He only managed to get free about a month ago.  With his son."  He smiled gently.  "He said he wanted to hear from you but he couldn't call.  We don't think it's going to be safe down here, Alexx.  They have some people who slipped the net.  We're not sure there's not more embryos as well."

She sniffled again, dialing then hanging up.  "I'll call him in a minute."

He nodded, patting her on the hand.  "This is why I told you in private, Alexx.  Eric and I both fussed over his bruises and healing cuts.  Doug is twenty months.  So's Catty, Eric's daughter.  Liam's seventeen months at the moment."

"The mothers?"

"We have no idea.  NCIS is handling that.  We signed non-disclosure agreements because this was such a foul program they had to stop."  He let out a mean smirk.  "Actually, Xander and his friends helped stopped them and called in the proper authorities.  The father of my son is very strong man.  Very stubborn."

"He's still got Liam?"

"He said all I have to do is ask.  If Catty has to go back because of the chicken pox, I'll be picking up Liam.  Though I did want to ask you to help me set up the nursery.  Eric's got his mother and sisters.  I have Yelina and she's not looking happy about my son."  He smiled.  "He's got a temper, Alexx.  If you ignore him when he wants something he'll huff and then scream.  Speed was keeping him calm when he could."

She laughed.  "Sounds like the redheaded temper was passed down."  She wiped her eyes off again.  "I can't tell Peter?  He's my husband."

"As long as he knows he can't tell anyone, Alexx.  We don't know who facilitated down here."  She nodded at that, clutching the picture.  "That's your copy of Doug and Speed.  You can take your own pictures of Liam and Catty when they're both down here.  Also, Eric and I are taking some family leave time to set things up.  He's moving back home."

"Of course he is!  He's a single guy who dates billions of women a year!  He can't hope to raise a daughter that way."

He smiled.  "I think that was one of his mother's arguments during the screaming session.  His father ended up calling a priest, who screamed too."  He smiled brighter when she laughed.  "Call him when you can, Alexx.  Just don't let anyone know."

"I won't, Horatio.  Thank you.  You found my boy."

"Calleigh will find who took him from us," he reminded her.  "Then we'll get him too."  She nodded, swallowing a bit.  He gave her a hug then stood up.  "Take a break, Alexx."  The pictures went into his pocket and he smiled.  "I've got to clean my desk.  I'll be out for about three weeks."  She nodded.  "Call me if you want to talk."

"Thank you."  She watched him walk out and closed the office door, calling him.  "Baby?" she said quietly.  "You made me a grandmother?"  She smiled at the much missed voice. "Oh, Speedy."  She sighed, making him laugh and tell her he was okay.  "Are you eating?"  She smiled at the answer of 'of course.  The son's demanding I nibble with him'.  "That's good.  I know why you can't come back but can you at least sneak and visit?"  She leaned back, relaxing now that she knew he was going to be okay and she'd get to see him again soon.  "Of course I have to spoil my first grandbaby!  Silly boy!"  She laughed when he did.  "I want more pictures too.  Horatio told Calleigh to do it.  It was her case.  I know, baby, but we'll figure it out.  Of course yo can.  I can take the weekend off!"  She smiled and made notes.  "I'll be off then.  You take care of him and email me!  Yes, you.  Thank you, sugar.  I'll see you soon to hug you.  I've missed you."  She beamed at his 'me too'.  "You be good to my grandbaby and I'll see you in two weeks.  Email me today.  Love you.  Get back to nibbling with him.  He's probably too skinny too."  She hung up and sat there digesting the news.  The number was put into her phone book so she couldn't lose it.  Someone was going to die for doing this to her family!  She'd go find out who later on.

***

Danny opened his hotel room door, looking at the man on the other side. "Jack.  What are you doing here?"

"Layover on my way to recruit the ones you sent back."  He walked in, looking around.  "No kids?"

"With Stan.  I'll get Wyatt tomorrow night."  He smiled, sitting down.  "No invasion, right?"

"No.  No invasion."  He took off his ball cap and sat down across from him.  "How's the kid?"

"He's good.  He's healthy.  He's a happy baby most of the time.  He likes to coo at Stan's turtle."  He smiled.  "I can go get him if you want."

"I want to meet the mother of your son," he agreed dryly.

"Fine."  He grabbed his rental car's keys and headed out with him, taking him to Stan's.  The Vecchios had given them up an hour ago.  He looked up.  "No lights."

"There's a small one," Jack said, getting out and heading up into the apartment building.  He found the right apartment, it paid to do a background check ahead of time, and tapped politely.  For him.  A disgruntled blond man came to the door to squint at him.  "Hi.  I'm Danny's boss, Jack."

Stan grunted but let him and Danny in.  "They're asleep.  Finally."  He let them go over to the crib.  "The smaller one's Wyatt."

"I know," Jack told him.  He looked at them then smiled.  "Aren't you special?"  Richard yawned and beamed at him.  "Go back to sleep, Richard."  The baby drifted off with some stomach petting.  He looked at Wyatt, picking him up.  It woke him up but he glared.  "Your daddy does the same thing when I take his coffee."  He sat down to hold him, smiling at him.  "I promise I won't rob the place, Kowalski."

"Better not.  I'll make the baby puke on ya."  He went back to his room.  Danny had warned he had overprotective friends who turned into nagging worrywarts on occasion.

Danny sat next to him, smoothing out his son's forehead wrinkle.   "He's a nice guy, Wyatt.  He'll spoil you rotten and take you fishing."

"I am?" Jack asked him.

"You take Thor."

"Good point."  He went back to staring at the baby.  The baby finally gave up and cooed, making him smile.  "Hi, Wyatt.  Are you a good boy or are you gonna be like Daddy and get in trouble every other week?"

"I do not."

"Do so."  He gave him a look. "Don't make me start mentioning them."  Danny grumbled at that.  He looked at the baby.  "Don't worry and don't listen to Sam.  Your daddy's way smarter than she is.  She's smart in a strange way and your daddy's strange in a smart way."  Danny shook his head and rolled his eyes.  "We'll even make sure the big, cuddly General doesn't hog all your attention because he's having baby envy and missing his girls being this age."  He looked at his buddy.  "Sam's got a party planned for him in two weeks."

"That's fine.  I can bring him back to Colorado for a few days then."  That got a nod.  "We have it worked out so all I have to do is call ahead."

"Good idea."  He looked at the baby again. "You're tiny."

"He's four months old.  He's not supposed to be some big brute."

"He's a good size.  He's nearly as big as Thor."  He looked at him.  "By the way he said congrats."

"I thought you said there wasn't an invasion."

"He popped down to get some new leggos and stuff to amuse himself.  Sam told him."  He went back to staring at the baby.  "You're gonna do great things.  Hopefully not in the same way as your daddy, but great things, Wyatt."

Danny took him back, taking him to his crib.  "Let's nap, Wyatt.  Jack's sorry he woke you up.  He won't do it again."  The baby took his pacifier back and slowly drifted off while daddy leaned over him. "Good boy," he whispered.  He nodded and they left, Danny making sure the door was locked.  They headed back to the car.  "So, that's my son."

"He's cute."

"Thanks, Jack.  Thor came for leggos?"

"Someone taught him how to create stuff.  He's using them to try to predict what Loki's doing next."

"Building small universes to mimic the larger one?"

"Yup."  He got into the car, looking at him.  "How much time are you thinking he'll be around?"

"Depends on both of the jobs, Jack," he reminded him, starting the car and heading back to the hotel.  "I wouldn't mind having him around most of the time but Stan wants to stay in Chicago.  If not, he'll move closer so I can have him more often."

"Is this the longest distance for custody?"

"No, Xander's in Sunnydale again but he's moving to Georgia.  One of his is Don Flack's."

"He seemed like a nice guy."

"Xander?  Yeah he was.  I was expecting some froth-breathing warrior with a battle axe.  Instead he's a nice, goofy, sweet guy."

"I'll remember that.  You think Rosenburg would work for us?"

"Ask."  He shrugged.  "Who knows."  He parked at the hotel and got out, leading Jack back up to his room.  "How long are you staying?"

"Tomorrow.  Like I said, layover.  Then we'll see him when you bring him back for a few weeks.  Then you can hand him back and we'll go back to work, but you'll get more time off from Hammond.  He said so."

"That's good of him," he said, yawning a bit.  "It's nearly one in the morning, Jack."

"Sorry, Danny.  Go sleep.  I can borrow the couch."

"Sure.  Go for it."  He laid down on the bed, getting comfortable and going to sleep.

Jack smiled, shaking his head but laying down on the couch.  The kid had been cute.  Nearly as cute as his own had been.

***

Xander looked up at the really ancient farmhouse, staring at it.  The kids in the car were fussing but oh well.  He looked at Giles.  "It's safe to walk in, right?"

"The listing said it was.  I'll watch the children while you check."

Xander nodded, heading inside carefully.  He found a huge, gaping hole in the floor in the living room.  He found a weak spot in the hallway to the kitchen when he fell through it.  The rest felt more sound.  He checked each of the rooms, using the tape and chalk in his back pocket to mark off a few rooms.  Then he came out.  "The downstairs bathroom is iffy.  It's got a chalk question mark in front of it.  It feels creaky but I need to get under the floor to see.  The living room and the hallway both have a good sized weak spot.  I can fix those."  Giles sighed in relief.  "Also, one of the rooms upstairs is haunted and has blood all over it."

"Willow and I can deal with that, Xander."  He carried one of the girls inside, letting Xander get the other two.  They were set into one of the safer rooms and he went to help Xander look at the floors.  He stared down at the new hole.  "Is that fixable?" he called when he saw the flashlight from the other side.

"There's no subfloor," Xander called.  "It's floor joists and then the really old pine flooring."  He looked up through the hole. "I can fix this.  I'm going to have to reinforce the joists and then pull up the floor to put down subflooring.  Some of it has it, the living room and the hallway doesn't to a point."  He came back up and marked a line after tapping.  He also erased the question mark.  "They have the joists two inches apart under it.  It won't fall in."  He walked out to meet the u-haul Willow was driving with Buffy and Tara.  He had blown the base and most of the campus had fallen in.  Then a week later, the hellmouth had basically emptied in the usual summer rush to get somewhere cooler.  So they had the time to do this with him.  "Watch out for the living room and the hallway to the yellow chalk mark.  There's a lot of weakness.  They didn't put anything under the floor.  Willow, there's a room upstairs sprayed with blood and a ghost."  She nodded, going to take care of that.  Tara went with Giles to watch the kids.  Xander checked the garage.  "We can put anything for the living room in there, Buffy."

"That'll work," she agreed happily.  "It's nice here."

"It is."  He grinned.  "I'm going back down into the basement to see how much plywood and stuff I'll need."  He went to measure and calculate things, coming back up to make notes on the first paper he found.  He looked at Giles.  "It'll take me a few days to fix that once I've got the plywood.  I'll have to pry up the floor but I should be able to reuse it.  It looks like it's tongue and groove, not nailed."  Giles nodded, walking off to make a call.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I'd rather see them live somewhere decent and safe, Xander.  There's no reason for my nieces and nephew to be living somewhere unsound."  He smiled at him and got back to his ordering.

Xander came out when the truck came, shaking their hands.  "Hi, guys.  Thanks for this."  He took the first piece of wood off to go measure.  By the time he came up the driver was looking a little impatient.  "Sorry.  Let's put it in the garage for now.  There's room for that and the couch."  That got a nod and the guy helped him unload it.  He shook his hand at the end.  "Did Giles pay you?"

"Credit card over the phone, sir."

"Xander."  He smiled at the toddler wandering his way.  "What are you doing, Rebecca?"  He picked her up.  The delivery guy patted her on the arm.  "She's mine.  I've got a few others coming."

"Too much liquor?" he teased.

Xander shook his head.  "Nope, did it without my being in the room."  The guy gaped.  "Sperm donation and then the state found me."

"Wow.  Freak luck."

"For some reason it happens to me."  The guy laughed.  "Thanks, man.  Where are you in case I need more nails or stuff?"

"We're by the grocery, just up the road.  There's only one in town."  He got back into his truck and headed back to start spreading the rumors.  Which was the kid's intention probably.

Xander looked at his daughter.  "Did you sneak past Auntie Tara?"  She beamed at him and kissed him on the cheek.  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Love you too, 'Bec."  He carried her back inside, being careful around the hole.  "Auntie?"  She came out of the kitchen and gave him a sheepish look.  "She came to help."

"It happens."  She took her back.  "I'm making you pood, sweetie," she said, carrying her with her.  "Come on, we'll go eat."

Xander grabbed Willow.  "I think the DEA left some stuff in the basement.  Can I get you to remove it to the back porch and figure out what it is?"

She nodded, going down with him to grab the big sheaves of leaves.  "It looks like tobacco."

"That's fine, I don't need that either.  We can burn it or sell it later," he said happily.  She nodded, carrying it outside while he got to work putting up extra joists around the weak areas.

Willow saw a minivan pulling in and paused on her latest trek, Buffy with her. "Hi, are you locals?" Willow asked.

Eric grinned at her.  "I'm Catty's other father, Eric Delko.  This is my mother."

"Oh, hey, I'm Willow. This is Buffy.  Xander's in the basement working on the floor that caved when he stepped on it.  Xander, Eric's here!"

Xander came out of the basement, coming over to shake his hand and smile at his mother.  "Hi, I'm Xander."

"What's wrong with the floors?" his mother demanded.

"Two rooms and part of the hall don't have a subfloor."  She moaned, shaking her head. "I'm working on fixing it right now.  Come on in, we just got here ourselves."  He walked them inside.  "Past the yellow chalkline is safe and so is upstairs.  Giles, this is Eric, the father of Catty, and his mom.  Eric, his mom, this is Rupert Giles, and Tara, Willow's girlfriend."

"Hi," Eric said, shaking their hands.  "Has Catty been good?"

"S...she's...been...been very good," Tara stuttered, looking down.

Eric looked at her. "Don't do that, she'll set you up with someone because she thinks they think you're cute."  She blushed.  He grinned at Rebecca, tweaking her ear.  "Hi, Becca."  Becca smiled and waved.  "Where's Catty?"  She squealed and pointed. "Is she sleeping?"  Tara nodded.  "That's fine.  Come on, Momma."  She followed him into the room the kids were using, smiling at all the babies.  "That's Selene.  He's the father with Don Flack.  There's Catty," he said, pointing at his twenty-month-old daughter with dark hair and his skin tone.  "That's Rachel in the carrier.  Her daddy couldn't handle her and they can't find her mother so Xander's doing daddy duty so she didn't end up in the system.  And you saw Liam with Horatio at home."

She cooed and Catty stared at her.  "Such a pretty baby."  They only had her for a few hours before they found out her other grandchild had chicken pox and had to evacuate her.

Catty shook her head.  "No!"

"No you're not?" she teased.  "What are you then?"

Catty beamed.  "Grr!"

"No, you're not Uncle Spike," Willow called as she walked past the doorway.  "We left Uncle Spike back in Sunnydale."  She noticed Eric's mother crossing herself and smiled.  "Xander retired, that's why he moved here."  She went back to helping him, finding Buffy holding and pounding in nails when necessary.  "She's cooing."

"The kids are adorable.  Of course she is," Buffy told her.  "We did and I'm still scared of them."  Xander snickered and hit his thumb.  "See, less laughy time, more pounding."  She took the hammer to get that nail and moved on when he pointed at the next spot for it.  "What're we doing after this?"

"Prying up the floor so we can put down the plywood.  That gives the floor a more stable base so it won't fall in."  Eric came down the stairs.  "Watch out."

"My dad's in construction, Xander."  He came to help him.  "Momma's cooing and helping Tara make lunch."

"That's fine.  They're adorable, people should coo."  Xander grinned.  "Taking Catty home?"

"Yup.  Did Horatio really fly all the way out there to get Liam?"

"Yup, sure did," Willow agreed, finding some last leaves.  She got the broom out of the truck and came to clean it up then started in on the bedrooms upstairs.  Eric's mother came up.  "Hi, Mrs. Delko."

"He's letting you clean?"

"He's a guy, he can't do more than clean up a construction site.  I'm a bit anal about clean stuff so I get to do that while Buffy and he haul and tote later tonight."  She smiled and got back to work.  "Did they tell you Catty doesn't like oranges?  They make her break out in a rash and make her fuss."

"I hadn't heard that yet but I can be careful of it."  She looked around.  "Are you and Xander together, dear?"

"No, I'm with Tara," she said happily.  "Neither's Buffy before you ask.  Xander's last girlfriend heard he was a daddy and went on a wail fest about not having him spoil her anymore.  We left her back in Sunnydale too."

Mrs. Delko nodded at that.  "So he's not dating?"

"Not at the moment.  Unless he's dating one of the other daddies.  He would've shared that and he hasn't though."

"I see.  Who does he plan to raise the children?"

Willow quit sweeping and looked at her.  "Xander's more than capable of raising those babies to be good and happy people.  He's going to be the most protective daddy on the face of the earth.   Otherwise we would've complained and taken them from him."  She got back to work, smiling at the disgruntled mother.  "Not every child needs two parents.  Sometimes one is better than two if there's no love."

"True.   You think he'll be able to handle it?"

"He has so far while we were hovering protectively in case."

"Horatio said...."

She shook her head with a small moan.  "Horatio started off by pissing Xander off.  He did it again when he flew up to get Liam and nearly sneered at us.  He's apparently having a bad incarnation and is taking it out on others this month."  She stared her down.  "We really do want him to stop doing that.  After all, Xander's not the mean one, I am."

"Fair enough," she agreed.  "Usually Horatio's very nice.  He's very good with the victims."

"Now he's one so he's not so nice?" Willow suggested.

"It could be.  This has thrown how he views his life out of order."

"Yeah, well, he's at the right age to start thinking about settling down."  They shared a look.  "I'm sure we'll like Horatio just fine when he calms down.  Until then, Mr. Growly can stay away from upsetting Xander before I have to upset him back."

"No threatening the mothers of my children," Xander yelled from downstairs.  "Even Horatio."

"Yes, Xander."

Mrs. Delko smirked at her.  "I'll talk with him."

"Please do.  Xander could use more friends who appreciate and like him."  She went back to work.  "I've got this room.  Go help Tara or something."  She nodded, going to look around the house to make sure it was fit for her grandchild.

***

Xander finished with the hallway floor, looking at it.  Then around.  "Willow, did you see anything like flooring in the barn when you went out there?" he asked, heading for the kitchen.  "The hallway's fixed by the way.  I'll remove the chalk in a few."

"I only glanced inside.  We can go look."  He nodded and they went out to look in the barn, him with the flashlight since there wasn't electric out there yet.  She gasped, finding an older looking pony in a stall.  "Ooh, you poor thing!  Some meany left you."  She opened the stall door, leading her outside.  The pony immediately started to nibble the grass.  "Good girl."  She patted her on the side.  "Let me get you some water."  She went to find a bucket, grimacing at it.  "Eww."

"Here," Xander said, handing another one over.  "Try that one."  She went to the old pump in the yard to clean it off.  He watched her, looking confused.  "Do we have water?"

"You do have water and you have a well, Xander.  This goes to the well."  She rinsed out the bucket a few times, still grimacing.  "Looks like crap or mud." Xander brought out another dusty bucket.  That one got cleaned and it was cleaner so she put it with the horse.  The horse looked at her.  "It's water, sweetheart.  Come on, let's move where there's more grass."  The pony balked.  "Come on, sweetheart."

Xander looked out at the grass.  "I think we have snakes."

"You definitely need a mower," Eric said from the porch.  "How much land do you have?"

"Four acres."  He looked at him.  "Okay.  Giles?" he called.  He came out.  "We have snakes and a pony."

"I can see the pony."  He came down to look at her.  "You're not that old but you need some more food, love."  He tried to move her and she wouldn't budge.  "What's wrong?"

"Xander thinks we have snakes."

"We might."  He looked around.  "Plus a lawnmower."

"A riding one please?" Xander begged from the barn.  He came out.  "We have some more flooring pieces in here."  He grinned at Giles.  "There's four acres," he said at the frown.  "You can't expect me to push mow it, Giles.  Plus, hey, snakes."  He leaned down to catch one, holding it up.  "There's probably some that aren't harmless."

"I'll get you something for the snakes and look at riding lawnmowers."

"We can look online and have one delivered if it's cheaper," Willow said happily, walking him inside to do that while Giles called the hardware store again.  "We have snakes," she announced.

"Thankfully we're not on a plane," Buffy called back.  "Even if the one guy was a hotty."

Willow shook her head.  "No he wasn't!"

"Yes he was."

"He was old!" she complained.

"Still a hotty," Buffy told her.  "Like the guy who came to recruit.  He could be cute if he wasn't so tired looking."

Willow sighed, shaking her head.  "You only want to go so you can see if there's hotty aliens."

"Well, yeah, and lots of cute guys like I want to date," Buffy reminded her.  "I could replace Riley and Spike."

"Probably with someone better," Xander quipped as he walked in.  "Really."  She stuck her tongue out.  "It's not that bad of work either.  Plus, hey, saving more than one town and the world.  Free food, pay, and clothes.  Lots and lots of weapons and hotty guys with muscles standing around looking awed while you do stuff."

"Good point."

"You should go," Xander told her.  "That way you can get old somewhere safer than Sunnydale and not die from a vampy spree night.   Plus, Denver's supposed to have a major shoe outlet mall."

"Ooh, I could like that."  She considered it.  "I'll talk to him again."

"I've got Daniel's number, you can call and talk to him.  He knows them."

"That'll be good," she decided.  "I'll do that tonight."  She smiled at Willow.  "If I go you have to go.  Who else'll help me quip and slay?"

Willow shook her head.  "I'm not sure magic works off world."

Eric leaned in.  "Don't say that around my mother.  She's very Catholic."

"Yes, dear.  Now hush and be eye candy again."  Eric went back to playing with the kids on the porch.  She looked at Buffy.  "Fine, if they can find a place for me."

"They were offering you major money to come work for them and not tell everyone what we were doing, Willow.  I think we can do that."

She nodded.  "Fine."  They walked off to take Buffy's cellphone out back to talk to the guy who had come to recruit her.  "Hi, is this Jack?  It's Willow and Buffy."  She smiled.  "We wanted to talk some more.  Georgia actually.  We're helping Xander with the first few days of the move."  She beamed.  "That's what we were thinking.  Sure!  We're here and so are the little ones.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "He'll be down tomorrow.  He said it'll get him out of paperwork."

"Coolness."  They went back inside to get a drink and then go back to helping Xander scrounge and fix things.  The house has to meet up to their higher standards so their nieces and nephew could live here.   By that night at dinner, everything was inside but the living room.  That was going to take a few days.  The lawnmower was on the way and the snakes had bait waiting on them. The pony was free roaming at the moment, nibbling happily.   The babies went into their new cribs very happily and settled in to sleep that night.  Eric and his mother had to share a room but that was fine with them.  They had Catty with them and it was a happy moment.

***

Jack watched the girls.  He had gotten them back to Sunnydale so they could talk seriously.  He had almost recruited that Giles guy for the linguistics corps.  He had insisted if he left, Tara had to come with him as his assistant and the General had been accommodating after seeing his work history and credentials.  All that was left was talking these two into it so he'd finally sign the papers.  He had no idea why Willow had wanted him to come with them tonight.  Why did he need to help them hunt cute guys?  He didn't think they were hunting deer or other game in downtown Sunnydale.  He wondered all the way to the point where they were jumped in front of the local club.  Then he saw why Willow had wanted him to see her in action.  "What're these?" he called.  The one that he hit was not going down like a normal human should.

"Vampires," Willow said, handing him a stake.  "In the heart, Colonel."  She staked one and then floated a stake off toward one of the ones in the back, making him shriek and run.  Fortunately he was still in range. She finished and staked the one Jack hadn't gotten to yet, then leaned against his arm, pointing.  "That's why she's a benefit to the program.  Especially that far-flung one."  She smiled at him.  "And why I am."

"How did you hear about that?"

"The underground knows about it."  She grinned.  "Xander heard and we all cackled madly over the idea of vampires from space.  Started making bad Muppets from Space jokes and things."

"Fercryin'outloud," he muttered.  "So you know?"

"Quite a lot but not everything."  She smiled when Buffy came back.  "He didn't know."

"The underground doesn't work both ways?"  Jack shook his head.  "Huh.  Then Giles should probably explain things to you for a bit.  He'll go into geek babble about destinies and all that stuff."  She led him back to the Magic Box, leading the way.  "Giles, Jack doesn't know what a slayer is."

"Why should he?" he asked dryly.

"Because they seem to know all about us," Jack said sarcastically, giving him a look.

"Yes, there's a rampant underground about the Area 51 people and others so the demons can protect themselves.  Especially since the Initiative."  He smiled, pulling down a book.  "As the story goes, in every generation a single girl is born to protect humanity from the demons and vampires.  She's known as the slayer."

"Only Xander did CPR when I died and now there's two but the other's kinda bad girl and in jail," Buffy told him.

"Indeed," Giles agreed.  "It comes with the benefits of quicker healing, super strength, extended stamina, and knowledge of fighting styles.  Buffy is the oldest slayer in history because her friends jumped in to help her.  We've fought more major demons than any other time in history so I'm a bit happy about that."  He smiled.  "Where there's slayers, there's Watchers."

"You?" Jack guessed.

Giles nodded, smiling some.  "It was my job to protect her, teach her, train her correctly, and keep her alive as long as possible.  Then I got fired for giving a damn."

"The Watchers are idiots anyway, Giles," Willow reminded him.  She grinned at Jack.  "I can do the Watchery stuff off-world for her and make sure she keeps training but with Sunnydale slowing down she's not really needed here.  Faith gets out soon I think and if the Council doesn't kill her she'll probably come back here.  With Giles being with you guys Buffy and I could go protect the others in the space vampire thingies.  Not like we don't both have a high slay count already.  She's been doing it since fifteen and Xander and I both jumped in during tenth grade.  Tara joins us now and then so Giles won't be totally alone.  Plus, hey, Spike can get word to us, or Angel can I guess, if something major is coming that they can't handle."

Jack considered it then nodded.  He looked at Buffy.  "I can guarantee that even half the scientists on the other project are cute.  Not all firmly muscled but there's a whole platoon of Marines and a few other Air Force guys there.  You could stare to your heart's content.  You can eat with them, train with them, and all that good stuff.  Help us and we'll make sure Sunnydale stays calm with you.  We have monitors that can pick up the hellmouth's energy so we know when it's going to spike.  NID and Area 51 both still have little projects in the state so they can monitor it without doing the damage they were before."

"You heard about the Initiative?"

"A few got transferred in for their experience," he admitted.  "We sent them off pretty quickly because their people experimented on them.  Think you could handle a six-month trial?"

Buffy looked at Willow then nodded, then she grinned at Jack.  "We can do that. What should I bring? I usually hunt in clothes like this."

He looked at her present outfit of backless top and short skirt, plus go-go boots.  "No," he said, shaking his head.  "You'll both need more practical clothes.  We can make sure they're cute.  I can have Sam help you.  She's got level five training in hand-to-hand so she'd know.  It'd do her good and she's bored this week anyway."

"I guess."

"She's blonde too," Jack assured her.

"Then I guess that's fine."  She beamed.  "Where do I do the signy thing?"

"I can get papers to you tomorrow with Sam."  He patted them both on the back.  "Now, let's get me to a motel."

"There's a room upstairs, Jack, you can use it," Giles offered.

"No offense but with my luck something will wake up and eat me."

Willow looked at one thing, walking over to stare down in it.  "No, it's still asleep.  No worries."  She put it back and grinned at him.  "The other things are mostly harmless around here."

"Then I wouldn't mind.  The General can't complain about the expense."  He got his bag from the car and put it upstairs, coming down to go over what the girls would be doing and what Giles would be doing so the girls wouldn't worry.  They really did worry about the normal guys around them.

***

Horatio looked up as Eric walked in with Catty, smiling at him.  "Stole her back?"

"Yup.  Xander's finished fixing up the farmhouse so it's safe.  There were a few weak spots on the floors."  He patted Liam on the head since he was in the office.  "Paperwork?"

"The Chief grounded me to my desk for the next week."  He grimaced.  "You?"

"Heading home to finish setting up the crib and stuff.  She's mad that Xander's single but otherwise she likes him.  Called him neat."  He grinned.  "Can you and Xander get along, Horatio?"

"I'm trying, Eric.  He seems... frivolous."

"H, he's helped save the world a few times.  He's not frivolous.  It's where he's retired."  Horatio shrugged a bit.  "You know, he could be mean and not let you have Liam as often."  Horatio gave him a dirty look.  "He could've been an asshole to all of us, H.  This is his only family too.  He's already lost a lot of it.  He could've been a hardass about visitation, about custody, all of it.  Maybe you should talk to Xander more often.  It might make things easier.  Xander's a nice guy to everyone but you because you came out with 'do you work' and other putdowns.  You put his back up."

"I'm sorry about that.  He's a bit touchy."

"H, if someone asked you that, you'd rip their head off.  You're lucky he went to the gym."

Horatio nodded.  "I know.  Thank you, Eric.  I'll work on it.  Is the farmhouse safe?"

"Very.  Plus they found someone had left them a pony after the last owner had left.   They've even begun to kill off all the snakes.  Even Don Flack said it was a nice farm house and would be better once it was painted."  That got a nod.  "So try, please?  I want us to not have to referee when I bring Catty up there."  He walked off with the baby, showing her off.  "Calleigh."  She came out of ballistics with Ryan following her.  "This is Catty.  I just got her back."

"Aww, who's precious?"

"No!" Catty said happily.

Ryan smiled.  "You're adorable."  He patted her on the head.  "Very cute.  Even cuter than your daddy."  He looked at Eric.  "She's healthy and all that?"  Eric nodded. "Good.  How's the other father?"

"He's fine.  He's working on the finishing touches to the farmhouse.  Mowing, finishing the weak spot in the living room floor.  Killing the snakes.  Looking at the orchard."  He shrugged.  "Someone didn't put in a subfloor in a few rooms.  It needs painted, they need to mow.  There's an old pony."  Calleigh smiled.  "He said we could come up and play even when I didn't have her with me."

"Thank you."  She handed her back, but the baby wanted to keep her hair.  "Hey, I need that," she said with a smile, poking her on the stomach.  "Can I have my hair back?"  Catty shook her head.  "Please?"

"No!" she said happily.

Eric pried her fingers off, earning a pout.  "You can play with Abuela's hair later.  Be good, Catty."  He looked at Ryan.   "She's not evidence."

"I know that.  I was wondering about the mark on her neck."

"It's a birthmark.  It seems to swell when she's getting too warm."  He put her onto the floor, then worked his wrists.  "She's heavy too."  She got up and leaned against his leg.  "Stay with me," he ordered with a grin.  She beamed and looked into a nearby lab, cooing and waving at the person, who smiled and waved back.

Eric smiled at the squeal.  "Hi, Maxine!" he called back.  She came out to hug him then the baby, dancing around with her.  "No bouncing."

"I'm not."  She beamed at the baby.  "Hi, Catty.  Are you here?"  The baby beamed at her.  "Such a happy girl."  She smiled at the others.  "I saw Liam but he's scowling at everyone."

"Like father, like son," Ryan quipped, walking off.  "Congrats, Eric."

"Thanks, Wolfe."  He took his daughter back, earning dual pouts.  "Quit, now.  Momma said we can have a cookout this weekend."

"I'll make sure she can get there," Calleigh said, smiling at them.  "Go home.  You're on leave.  You shouldn't be here."

"Thanks.  Later, Max."

"Bye, Catty.  Bye, Eric."  She waved and the baby waved back.  She beamed.  "She's so smart."

"She is.  She's adorable too.  We've got to get her better clothes though."

"My mother picked it out," Eric called.

Calleigh and Maxine shared a look.  "I am a Valera, I can find cute clothes for anyone," Max said, heading back to her lab, leaving Calleigh giggling.  She decided to go upstairs, finding the Lord of the Pout and his son in the office.  "Aww, are you missing Catty already?" she asked Liam, making him smile.  "Such a pretty boy to pout like the daddy is."  She picked him up and walked him off. "Come on, we'll get you some juice or something to drink so Daddy can take a break."

Horatio smiled but shook his head.  It was good the team loved his son so much. Fortunately he'd be on leave again once he finished all this paperwork.  His son came back with a bottle of orange juice.  "Don't give that to Catty.  She's allergic to oranges."

"I can remember that," Maxine said happily.  She put Liam on the couch and the baby smiled, sipping his juice.  "Such a good boy."  She went back to work.

Horatio smiled at his son.  "Don't suck up too much, son.  She's got to work sometimes."

***

Xander looked around the stores, then at the kids in the back.  He pulled out the stroller he had cobbled together by putting two twin strollers back to back.  Then he stuck the kids in, smiling at them.  "Come on, guys!"  He had Rachel, Rebecca, and Liam at the moment.  Horatio had pulled up a Federal case and it was getting messy so he had to pick up Liam suddenly.  Not that he minded.  He walked the stroller into the store, smiling at the shopkeeper.  "Hi."

"Hi.  You must've been the one who bought the Ferguson farm."  Xander nodded.  "They're adorable."

"They are and there's two more who'll visit now and then," he told him.  The older man gaped.  "Sperm donation."  He looked at the small store and parked the stroller, picking up a basket.  "Stay, you little thieves you."  He walked off, going to pick up what he needed.  Then he put the basket on the counter and drug the stroller over.  "There.  That should last us at least two days."

"Hopefully.  You lost their bear."  Xander groaned and walked out to the car to pick it up off the sidewalk, and the other two things the kids had thrown.  He smiled at Liam, who was sucking on another toy.  "Was that yours, son?"

Xander looked then sighed.  "I guess it is now."  The bear got thrown again.  "Auntie Buffy's going to be upset that you threw her bear."  He put it into the diaper bag but Rebecca fussed so he handed it back.  "Hold onto it.  We're nearly done.  Then we're going to the hardware store.  Really."  He opened his new checkbook.  "From the one in town."

"That's fine, son."  He watched him try to remove the top check.  "Void that one and go down one.  Fold it first."  Xander grinned and did that.  "First checking account?"

"Not really.  Last time I lived off my debit card."  He handed over the check and took the bags.  "Thank you for watching them for me."  He made sure they only had their own toys, putting back the box of muffin mix.  "I swear you're worse than dragons at finding treasure and hoarding it, guys."  The shopkeeper laughed, watching him move the stroller back onto the sidewalk.  The food went into the car and he went to the hardware store up the street.  A few people stared.  "Sperm donation," he quipped.  "I'm Xander.  I moved out to the Ferguson farm so they'd have room to roam."

One mother stopped to pet them on the head. "You're obviously very smart," she said happily, picking up the bear.  "New in town?"

"I just moved onto the Ferguson farm.  I'm Xander.  That's Rebecca, Rachel, and Liam.  Selene and Catty are with their other parents."  She gaped.  "Sperm donation.  Then the state found me."

"Ah."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Need something?"

"Fans.  It's like there's no breeze near the house."  She laughed and nodded.  He scooped up a toy and put it into the diaper bag.   Liam fussed for it since he had seen it.  "Behave," he ordered.  "We'll be home to play soon, son."  He smiled again.  "They're grabby."

"They can be."  She smiled.  "Have fun and put some sunscreen on them."

"I did earlier today.  They were on the porch then."  He grinned and walked off, taking them to the hardware store.  They all sighed when they hit the air conditioning.  "I thought near the desert was hot."  The delivery guy from last week laughed.  "It was!"

"I'm sure.  You're from near the desert?"

"Three hours from LA," Xander told him.  "Fans?  Please?"

"You sure you don't want to fix the air conditioner on the furnace?"

"The furnace fell into a pile of rust yesterday when I tapped the gauge."  That got a head shake.  "I'll stick with fans and maybe a few window A/C's for now.  Then we'll worry about the furnace closer to winter.  Do we have winter?"

"It's fairly mild.  Maybe gets down to the fifties, sometimes the forties."

"We can handle that with room heaters. Much cheaper than redoing the furnace."  That got a smile.  "What do you think about me planting a garden?"

"It's June, a bit late to start, Mr. Harris."

"Do we have a longer growing season?"

"You would," he agreed.  "What were you thinking?"

"Table veggies.  Something to save on the groceries.  I have *no* idea how to do it but they're in the veggie stage."

He nodded, leading them back to the vegetables.  "Here, we've got some young seedlings still left in cukes, tomatoes, and squash."

"What's a squash?"  A picture was held up.  "I've never had those."

"Your parents didn't make you eat squash?" another guy asked.

"My mother wasn't much for cooking or taking care of things."  He looked.  "They're edible?"  The delivery guy nodded.  "What do you do with them?"

"Some get mashed, some you fry."

"Okay."  He nodded.  "We can do that."  They gathered some plants and they got put next to the register, then they looked at fans and air conditioners.  "That's good."  He patted one.  "That'll do the whole upstairs."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Cool."  He tapped it.  "Two of those please."  That got a nod and they went to check him out.  Xander grinned.  "I was secondary lead on my construction crew before I moved."

"I saw the nice work on the floors when we brought the lawnmower for you," the delivery guy told him. "You going to go back to work?"

"Sometime soon.  Once we're settled and they're settled.  Probably by spring.  I can live all winter on what I have left."  That got a nod and Xander wrote out the check for that too.  "Can you...."  He pointed at the kids, getting a nod.  "Thanks." Xander jogged out to get his car, driving it up so they could load things into the trunk with the groceries.  Then he got the kids into the backseat again.  "There we are!" he said happily.  "Our first real outing together."  The hardware store guys smiled.  "It is.  It's a big thing for them.   Moving was a bit easier than this I think.  It's like moving a military unit to get them together."  He got into the car. "Thanks."  He went home, settling the kids into the new play room so he could unload the trunk and install the air conditioners.  One of them blew a fuse so he had to replace it.  He had done that once already so he moved up to a higher grade of fuse.  This time it held.  He closed the doors and windows, letting the cool air flow out.  The plants went into the kitchen and so did he with the pamphlet on how to plant a garden.  He watered them, moving them onto the back porch for tonight.  He'd do the rest in the morning.   He came back to find Liam staring at the fan he was using to direct the cool air.  "Don't touch that.  It'll bite you."  He heard a knock and went to the front door, smiling at the person standing there.  "Reverend."

"Mr. Harris wasn't it?"  He walked in when it was offered.  "New air conditioners?"

"Just got home with them," he agreed happily.  "Please, let's sit.  Guys, I'm in here," he called.  The one napping stayed, the other two came in to sit with them.  "What can I do for you, Reverend?"

"I came to see if you'd like to come to our church, son."

"I'm not of any particular denomination."  The reverend gave a pointed look at the children.  "This one's father and another of my daughter's other father are Catholic."

"You have more than the three?"

Xander smiled and nodded.  "I do.  Sperm donation."

"I thought you could only do that three times.  Bent the system?"

Xander looked at him.  "Reverend, I'm not allowed to tell you.  I signed a non-disclosure statement."

The older man stared at him.  "I see.  Two fathers?"  Xander nodded.  "Crackpot with a petri dish?"  Xander nodded.   "I was military, son."  He stared at him for a minute.  "You look familiar."

Xander grinned.  "I'm from Sunnydale.  I'm where Father Leardth is if you know him."

The reverend nodded, fingering his cross.  "I do know him.  The same as I know what he used to do.  I used to be military, son."

"The military found my kids for me.  I used to be in the same field he was.  I'm retired."

"Good."  He smiled.  "You're not that unusual here."

"I heard it was a Wiccan safe area."

"You are?"

"My best friends are."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "They're welcome in our town as well, my son."

"Xander, Father."

"Xander then.  I do know you."

Xander grinned.  "Initiative?"  He nodded once.  "Forward scout?"

"Until I found God.  Your town made me go looking."

"Which is why I'm retired."

"Good idea."  He stood up.  "If you wouldn't object, we do run a daycare from the Church."

"That's great," Xander said happily.  "The next time I have a day when I can't have them around, I'll bring them over."  That got a smile.  "They'll make their own decisions when they're older.  I know that.  Until then, I'm keeping it neutral and understood."  That got a nod.  "Where's the local demon area?  Rachel's father knew of them and worked with them."

"There's a commune of peaceful ones up the road in the next county.  That's why we're so tolerant."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Good.  I hope to see them soon."

"Oh, it'll probably happen on the next fussy day so they have something to do."  He heard a fuss from Rachel, getting up to get her.  "Rachel, this is Father...."

"Ralph Finet."

"Father Finet."  Rachel blinked then sucked her fingers.  "She's a good girl."

"She looks like it."  He patted her on the head, smiling when she chewed on his fingers.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  You can come to me if you need to but I'm still retired."

"Good.  I'll do that.  Thank you, Mr. Harris."  He patted him on the shoulder and showed himself out, going to tell the old ladies that ran the daycare the kids were cute and would be coming in now and then when the father needed a day off.

Xander looked at the kids.  "Come on, let's get dinner."  They followed him to the kitchen, watching him cook once they were in their high chairs.

***

Mac walked back into his office with all three kids in a twin's stroller.  He flopped down, looking at them.  "Can we not fuss for ten minutes?  If so, I'll let Stella coo over you guys."  They didn't fuss so he got into his email to fill out the paper his boss had demanded he do today.  He heard the first fuss and groaned.  "Craig, son.  Please?  Five more minutes?"

Danny leaned in.  "Hey, team."  The kids all squealed.  "Come on, let's go with Uncle Danny so your daddy can do that."  He came in to get them and walk them out.  "Look, it's Auntie Stella," he said happily.

"Wa!" Emily squealed and waved her hand.

"Hi, guys," she said, bending down to kiss them all on the head.  "Did the meany boss make the daddy come in to do paperwork?"  Danny nodded.  "He in his office?"

"Yup.  They wanted to fuss."

"They're small, they do that.  Get 'em some water or something, Danny."  He nodded, wheeling them that way.  She went to the office.  "You're going to hate me."

"Only if you make Don cook tonight."

"Hopefully not that much."  She handed him a file.  "Hillbourne."

"Why?" he moaned, looking at her.

"You're getting secret payments?"

"Part of the hush agreement."  He dialed the number on the notice, putting it on speaker.

"Hillbourne."

"It's Taylor.  That payment is part of the hush agreement and non-disclosure form I had to sign to get my kids."  He hung up and got back to work.  "Let's hope that solves it.  If not, tell him to ask the Director of NCIS.  She brokered it."

"I'll do that."  She smiled.  "Danny's getting them some water.  How's living with Don going?"

"It's not bad.  Don's fussy about some things.  All the kids love his miniature fish tank.  We'll work it out.  Danny's been over a few times to help."

"I would've but you told me I can't spoil them."  She smiled as Danny wheeled them back in. "I said water, Danny, not flavored sugar water."

"It's all the machine had, Stel.  Ease off."  He sat down on the couch with them, making them all happy kids.  "Tell her one every now and then won't hurt you.  It's not like you guys drink them all the time."

"No but they did try for my coffee this morning.  Emily's very good at grabbing," Mac told him.

"I know.  She got my necklace the last time."  He smiled at Sheldon when he came on.  "Hey, Doc."

"Hi.  Hi, guys."  They all beamed at him and Emily waved.  "Good kids.  Very good kids."  He gave them all hugs.  "Mac, I solved your last case.  Paperwork's on your desk somewhere."

"Thank you, Sheldon."  He found it and glanced over it.  Then he signed it handed it to Stella.  He finished up the dreaded form and handed that over too.  "There."  He got up and took back the stroller.  "Come on, let's head home, guys."  Danny and Stella both pouted at him.  "They just had the morning in the park. We're all tired."  He headed out, going to put them back into the car and take them home.  He really was tired.  If they wanted to play more, they could play with Don.  Selene fussed.  "You're fine, Selene.  We're going to see your daddy right now."  He closed the door, turning to find Gerrard and a few guys standing there.  "The one on this side is Don's daughter Selene."

"I saw her the last time she was in.  Where's Flack?"

"Home resting and making sure Emily didn't kill his fish."  He walked around to get in.  "We're having an open house and welcoming party this weekend.  You can come."  He waved and closed his door, heading off to go home.  He needed a nap as much as the kids did.

Stella ran into Hillbourne stomping in.  "You just missed him.  He filled out the form the Chief wanted and left again."  That got a scowl.  "Don't blame me.  He's on leave."

"The source of that payment?"

"He signed a non-disclosure agreement. It was part of that.  He said if you needed to know more, call the director of NCIS since she brokered it."  She walked off.  "Have a better day."

"Uh-huh."  He went to look up the number in the Chief's office.  That's who wanted to know about the payments and these new children.  "This is Chief Hillbourne, NYPD Internal Affairs.  I need to speak to the director please."  He was put through to a cellphone.  "This is... good, your secretary can pass on information.  There's been a note that you're paying two of our people for some reason.  We need a reason."  He listened to her ramble.  "That's not good enough, ma'am.  I don't care what NCIS does.  That's not good enough for the NYPD.  Yes, myself and his bosses would like to know."  He looked at the phone then hung up.  "She said she'll send someone up to tell us more information as long as it doesn't get out."

"That's fine," the Chief agreed.  "I think it's odd Taylor moved in with Flack."

"Rumors have them sharing one of the children," Hillbourne said dryly.

"That's not possible."

"We'll see."  He went back to his office.  Later that night, someone knocked on his door and sprayed something in his face before walking in to talk to him.  In the morning he found the Chief of Detectives had the same thing happen to him.  They decided questions weren't in order anymore.  At least not until the bruises and cuts healed.

***

Xander looked up from painting the porch as an SUV pulled in.  "Hmm.  Official vehicles."  He put the brush back into the paint so it wouldn't dry out, carefully moving closer.  "You're with?" he asked.

"Mr. Alexander Harris?"

"Yes.  You're with which department?"

"DEA, sir.  We were told you might have found something in the barn?"

"Basement."  He led them out back, showing it to them.  "That's what we found.  I haven't been through the barn for more than pieces of the flooring.  Go ahead if you want but if you try to confiscate the property I'm going to throw a fit in the press since we bought it off you."  He went back to his painting.  "And don't tear anything up, I'm just now getting it the way I want it."

"Yes, Mr. Harris," one said, coming back around the house.  He saw the curious looks from the kids.  "You have children?"  Xander nodded.  "They're adorable."

"Thank you."  He looked at him.  "Why didn't you guys search it earlier?"

"We thought we had.  We had a tip there was more stuff out here than we thought."

"Ah.  The barn's fairly obvious.  You still can't have it back."

"It's not a problem.  We've found things in other seizure property in the past, sir."  He went to look in the barn, seeing the mess.  The directions were fairly explicit so he walked over to the wall with the barrels and moved one to open a hidden area.  What he found made him blink. "Um, Mr. Harris, are you a hunter?" he called.

Xander strolled in and looked.  "Yes and I have better stuff than that.  Get the crap off my property."  He looked at him.  "Where's the switch?"  It was pointed at.  "I'll remember that when I move half of this out of the way."  He walked off.  "Yo, other Fed dude, he found stuff."  The other guy went jogging back there.  Xander went back to his painting, looking over as a hummer pulled in.  Horatio got out.  "DEA forgot to search the barn," he told him.  "They found crappy machine guns."

Horatio went to look.  "Gentlemen."  They all flinched and turned to look at him.  "This won't cause Mr. Harris problems, correct?"  They both shook their heads.  "Thank you."  He looked then found another opening, opening it for them.  "There you go.  Do you need help notating and tagging?"  They shook their heads and got to work carrying stuff to the SUV.  Horatio walked out, going back to the house.  "It's looking nice."

"Thank you."  He grinned at him.  "Liam just toddled after the pony."  He pointed at him.  "He's being good today but he loves to pet her.  He'll throw a fit if you try to make him come in."

"Apparently he has your temper."  He went to find his son.  "Liam?" he called quietly, making his son stare at him then beam.  "Hi, want a hug?"  Liam ran over and pounced.  "That's a good pounce, son."  He picked him up and walked him back to the shade with the others.  "How did you get down?"

"Two of the uprights holding up the top rail are loose.  He crawled through the gap while I was pouring paint.  He's being a good boy and we've gotten rid of most of the snakes."  He looked at him.  "Taking him back again?"

"Up for a visit.  We should learn how to get along."

"Could be nice, yeah."  One of the agents coughed so he looked back.  "Problems?"

"Wondering something, sir.  How did you buy this place?  It's in your name but you didn't purchase it."

"My mentor bought it for us when I came home with my kids.  I retired from Sunnydale."

The other agent came out of the barn with wide eyes and panting.  "Sunnydale?"  Xander waved a hand and nodded.  "Um...  The same Harris that works with Buffy?"

"Yuppers.  Rupert Giles bought this place for me."  He looked over.  "Like I said, go ahead and get the crappy guns off my property."

"Sir, we need to talk to you about a certain rocket launcher that got used in a mall," the one next to him said calmly.

Xander stared at him.  "Wanted the world to end that day?"  They shook their heads slowly.  "Then it was necessary.  The base concluded the same thing after seeing what that thing it was used on would do."  He went back to his painting.  "I'm retired, people.  My kids are more important.  Unless I have to step in, I'm staying retired."  He looked at them.  "Was there another hidden area?"

"Yes, sir, with more drugs."

"That's fine.  Take it and go.  What's the stuff out back?"

"Tobacco."

"Can I sell it?"

"I don't know where but I can ask someone," one of the agents said.  "Fully retired?"

"Yup and Willow just took on a limited contract with a special group out of Cheyenne Mountain, boys.  Buffy too."  That got a shudder.  "Anything else?" he asked, adding another careful stroke of paint.

"No, sir.  We'll take the drugs and the guns for you.  Do have a happy retirement."

"Thanks."  He smiled.  "I plan on being a very good father."  That got a nod and they ran off to deal with things so they could leave before the bad luck that followed the boy around came after them.  They'd heard *rumors*.

Horatio smirked.  "You're so bad."

"I know," Xander grinned.  "It's fun."  He tapped the fingers reaching for the brush.  "You still can't help me paint yet.  When you're older we'll do your rooms."  The baby pouted.  "Tough.  Suck up to Liam's daddy."  They turned to play with Horatio.  "I painted their rooms this morning.  We're waiting on the fumes to dry."

"That's fine, Xander.  It's a nice day and they're in the shade."  He found a book and settled in to read to the kids, making them all cuddle into his side and legs.  "What's after the painting?"

"That's going to take me all month.  I've got a garden going.  I'm not sure how I'll know what's weeds and what's plants."

"You'll see them come up.  Remember or mark where they are.  Pull everything else."

"I guess I can do that."  He went back to painting, watching what they were carrying out.  "Huh.  I had better."  He shifted down, doing another section of the railing.  Rachel let out a wail.  "That's a 'drink please' wail."  Horatio found the bottle of ice water and gave her some.  She quieted down once the others got some too.  "She's good."

"She is.  How's Catty?"

"She's fine.  Grandma Delko is loving on her until she crawls off to get away.  She's been hiding under the sink to get away from Grandma now and then.  Dad's amused."

"Eric didn't say that."  Horatio looked out toward the field.  "Snakes?"

"We had nearly waist-high grass, Horatio.  We had snakes, rabbits, a mother dog that had recently given birth and been bitten to death, along with the puppies, all sorts of animals out there.  The pony wouldn't even go near the field until we cleaned out the snakes and cut the grass for her."  He shifted to do another upright on the porch.  "How long are you up for?"

"Probably just overnight.  Have you seen Speed?"

Xander looked at him.  "He's still in DC.  They wanted to go over what happened to him."  That got a simple nod.  "He'll be down soon I think.  Last time I talked to Tony he said he'd be done in about two more weeks."  He went back to painting.  He heard a crash and sighed, going to see what it was.  "Did the floor fall in?"

"No, a stack of milk urns, Mr. Harris."

"Huh.  Making wine?" Xander asked.

"Possibly."  He came out of the pile.  "Looking for more secret places."  Xander pointed up.  "Huh?"

"Hayloft, dude.  It's hidden and no one goes up there.  Watch out for snakes.  Lantern's on the wall behind you."  He walked off again.  "Milk urns."  He knelt to go back to his painting.  "Rebecca, no helping," he said more firmly.  Horatio pulled her back, using his handkerchief to wipe her hand off.  "Thank you.  They've got a playroom set up if the fumes are dead."

Horatio opened the door and sniffed then nodded.  "Should be."  He walked them inside, flipping on the air conditioner on his way past.  He came to get the rest of the children and closed the door again.  The playroom was nice.  It had a washable throw rug over the wood floor and lots of toys, plus a few new looking toy boxes that needed to be stained.  "You guys are very lucky to have such a good daddy as Xander is."  He sat down to play with them, making them happy babies.  Xander came in an hour later.  "Done?"

"I got to switch to the power painter once they were inside.  It went a lot faster."  He got them both something to drink - Horatio's glass larger so the kids could beg him.  Then he went out to watch the agents heft and tote.  He waved when they finally closed the gate.  "Am I getting more?"

"No, sir.  We have it all," one of them assured him.  That got a nod.  "We won't have to bother you again."

"Thanks."  He watched them pull off, sipping his water. He went to look in the barn again, finding the other hidden areas.  No drugs.  More weapons.  He came in to get Horatio to show him, letting him call them back in the morning for him.  It'd only look better on him than the DEA.  He went inside to start on dinner, smiling when Horatio came in.  "They coming back tomorrow?"

"Later tonight with a second SUV.  I rescued the hayloft since he left the lantern on."

"Of course he did," Xander sighed, shaking his head.  "Common sense is apparently dead."

"It's the type of people they get for agents," Horatio soothed.  "They still can't confiscate it again, Xander.  They seized it once.  They didn't search it very well."  Xander nodded. "I'll stay long enough to make sure.  If not, call me."

"I can do that," he agreed, watching himself chop.  "Liam's wandering."  He went to stop the baby while Xander got back to work on dinner, not watching him.   They'd work this stuff out so it wasn't so tense.  Someone pounded on the door.  "The barn is the big building off to the side!" he shouted.  "We called your asses!"  The pounding continued so he walked that way, finding Gibbs on his doorstep with an official piece of paper.  "The last owners?"

"Yup."  He handed it over.  "Just in case we need it, kid."

"I don't care if you take the crappy guns and drugs, Gibbs.  They're in the barn.  Horatio can show you."  That got a nod and Horatio went out there carrying Liam.  "See if you can get the pony inside and give her some oats and water," he called.  He went back to cooking once the door was closed.  The babies all came to watch him so he smiled.  "You guys will enjoy cooking some year."  He got back to work, tossing down pieces for them to gnaw on for now.  Horatio came back with the baby.  "Did the pony go in?"

"No.  Wouldn't come near me after I tried to take his halter."  He handed over Liam, taking over dinner preparations.  "It was nice of Gibbs to bring a warrant."

Xander looked it over.  "Ah, the last person stole them."  He shrugged and let Liam have a piece of green pepper then went out there, handing Gibbs the lantern.  "Hopefully you're smart enough not to leave it lit in dry hay?"

"I'd hope so."  He glared at one of the DEA agents, who slunk off to the other storage area.  He looked around then at him.  "This is nice."

"Thank you.  It was DEA seizure property," he said with a grin.

Gibbs just nodded.  "They can't take it back, kid.  It's their own fault."  He looked at the house.  "You're doing okay?"

"We're doing fine.  How's the ones in New York and Stan doing?"

"They're doing good," he assured him with a small smirk.  "The checks start next month."

"I figured it'd be then or the month after.  I have a bank account."  Gibbs nodded.  "Do I need to fill out a direct deposit form?"

"They won't want to do it."  He stepped closer.  "Someone in New York was asking more questions.  She sent NID after them."

Xander shuddered.  "Are Mac and Don all right?"

"They're fine.  Their bosses aren't."

"Damn.  Poor men.  I don't hate anyone that much."  He looked around then sighed and went to open it.  "It's fairly obvious.  It's a different color, guys."  He opened another one and looked then shrugged.  "Artillery but older."  He walked back around the milk urns.  "Come up for dinner once you're done, Gibbs.  We'll save you some or let you make a sandwich."

"Thanks, kid."  He watched him go and looked at them.  Then at the head of the local DEA office.  "You guys didn't search the barn?"

"A cursory one.  It was pouring and dripping in here.  He gave us a tip when he bragged we hadn't found half of his stuff.  Don't worry, the kid can keep it."  Gibbs nodded.  "Is he one of the ones you had to call up?"  Gibbs nodded again.  "Damn.  Poor guy."

"He got four and adopted one that didn't have parents," he said quietly.

"He's also *Harris* from *Sunnydale*," another agent said, glaring at his boss.

Gibbs looked at him, nodding a bit.  "I knew that.  He helped take down the people that were that problematic case of ours."  He looked at the boss again. "Your bosses won't cause problems?"

"Nope.  We've had it happen before.  We can prove that the agents didn't search due to current conditions.  It's a bad situation but we've had plenty that've been sold with drugs in the side panel of the car or under the seats.  We really do have to search better sometimes."  He smirked. "So I heard you ran into Jackson and O'Neill."

"Jackson yes.  O'Neill no.  Jackson got the special call."  That earned him a horrified look.  "He's sweet and in Chicago."

"Oh, damn.  The poor world.  Harris is spawning.  Jackson is spawning.  Damn!"  He shook his head.  "We'll live I guess."

"I stopped it the last time!" Xander called from the porch.  "I'm retired, start doing it on your own!  Gibbs, phone!  It's Tony.  Yours is dead!"

Gibbs walked up to the porch, taking the phone.  "Yeah, DiNozzo."  He listened then nodded.  "That's fine.  No, we're finding all sorts of stuff in the barn.  DEA's local chief is here.  He's not amused that his agents didn't search either.  What did she want this time?"  Xander walked off shaking his head.  He looked at the baby.  "Hey, Rebecca," he said when he saw her in the shadows.  "Did you sneak?"  He rolled his eyes.  "She looks fine, DiNozzo.  Come down on the case."  He hung up and put the phone back inside, grabbing the children too since he found Liam heading for the pony.  He set up an unholy fit of noise.  "No, stay in here.  We don't want to step on you."

"He wants to pet the pony, Gibbs," Horatio told him.  "Thank you."  That got a nod.  "Tony?"

"On his way down."  He left, closing the door and checking the porch, just in case.   "DiNozzo found a buyer that he was working with.  He's on his way down."

"That's fine," the head of the DEA said.  "The more the merrier.  Less stuff my guys need to carry.  Someone left a lantern in the hayloft?"  Gibbs nodded.  The other agent in charge shook his head with a sigh.  "I'll go over fire safety and how pretty the exploding artillery would be."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."  He looked at him.  "Did DiNozzo keep his?"

"One's here, one's in New York with Taylor.  He's visiting."

"Taylor?" the mouthed.  Gibbs smirked and nodded.  "I guess they wanted stubborn."  He went to help.  He wanted his people away from Xander and the stuff that happened around him before anything happened to his boys.  Because his kids had to draw it worse.

***

Xander smiled when Tony opened his bedroom door.  "He said you were coming down.  Rebecca's room is two up."

"Thanks.  I came to tell you they're done with the cleaning."

"Cool.  They find many more hidden spots?  I ask because I could use them for my collection later."

"Don't tell me that."  Xander just grinned.  "Do you know you have a rep as trouble incarnate?"

"Only if you piss me off," Xander said smugly.  "The Initiative started it when bad things started to happen to Riley."  Tony smirked back.  "Go cuddle the baby.  I doubt she's asleep.  She never is at this time of night.  Stay over if you want.  There's spare rooms."

"Thanks.  Can Gibbs?"  Xander nodded.  "Thank you, Xander."  He went to check on his daughter, finding her staring out the window.  "There's my precious one.  Happy birthday, baby girl."  He picked her up, sitting in the rocking chair to cuddle her.  "That's my precious one.  Daddy loves you," he whispered.  She played with his hair, resting her head on his shoulder.  He calmed himself and it was good.  It was better than a vacation.  He looked around then at her.  "Your daddy decorated in whales?  That's interesting."  He smiled. She must like it.  He rocked them slowly, enjoying this quiet time with the baby.  He could sleep tomorrow sometime.

***

Gibbs came up at dawn, finding Tony and the baby asleep together in the rocking chair, taking a picture.  "DiNozzo," he said quietly.  "Don't flinch."  Tony blinked at him then smiled.  "Put her down."

"Can't, she'll fuss, boss.  Time to go?"

"Later today.  I need to see the attic and basement.  Xander said he left some boxes.  We'll look them over."  That got a nod.  "Don't tell the director."

"Hell no, boss."  He went back to cuddling his little one.  It was a generous gesture.  "Kate and the new girl the director gave you are on the buyer.  McGee's hopping around on his broken foot complaining."

"That's fine."  He went to check in, finding Kate already at the office.  "Buyer?"  He listened to the report, nodding slowly.  He sighed at part.  "She's a field agent, not an investigator, Kate.  Use those skills she has and work on the ones she doesn't.  Yes, those.  Let her be menacing.  If he doesn't think women can be, let her prove it.  No, Tony's got Rebecca at the moment.  The old owner left stuff so we're going to go through it to see if there's more of a paper trail.  I don't care what you tell her, Kate.  Thanks."  He hung up and turned to find Xander there with Liam.  "He's another dawn baby?"

"He hates to think people are doing things without him watching them."  He handed him over.  "Here.  He was trying to wake his daddy and it wasn't working."  He headed into the kitchen.  "Want me to start some coffee?"

"Please."  He looked at the baby.  "Morning, Liam."  The baby beamed at him.  "Let's go see if we can wake Dad up."  He went up to Horatio's room, finding him grumbling.  He dropped the baby onto the bed, watching him crawl up his father to sit on his head.  "That'll work too," he decided, heading back downstairs.   Xander handed him a cup of coffee.  "His dad's up."  Xander smirked evilly and went outside.  "What's with the pony?"

"Someone kindly dropped her off a few days before I moved in.  We found her in the barn.  She's a good finder of snakes.  Keeps Liam away from them.  Liam follows her around like she's God at the moment."  He sipped his own coffee, settling in on the old porch swing.  "I planted a small garden."

"I saw.  Nice going."  Xander beamed at the praise.  "How long before it starts to show food?"  Xander shrugged.  Gibbs smirked.  "You'll figure it out, kid."

"I hope so."  Tony came down with Rebecca.  "Nope, she's a morning bath baby, Tony."

"I'll do it in a few.  Cups?"

"Cabinet beside the sink."

Tony went to get some, taking it and her back upstairs to give her a bath.  Her squealing woke everyone up.  Horatio walked in with Liam.  "Sorry, she's happy."

"He was sitting on my head."  He put his son in the tub too, watching as Rebecca patted him and helped by trying to steal the washcloth he was using.  "Thank you, Rebecca."  She beamed and then at her father.

"You're very helpful," Tony said happily.  She went back to helping them bath.  He looked at Horatio.  "How does Xander deal with four or five of them at once?"

"I think the most he's had so far is four.  I suppose he does them in shifts."

"Hopefully.  Maybe that's why she's a morning bath baby as he put it."  He got back to work.  She was more than happy to let him wash her hair.  She loved the water enough to giggle and bat at it when he poured it over her head.  "You're such a good girl."  So of course she peed in the water.  They removed the kids and dried them off once the plug was out, taking them back to their rooms to get them dressed.  "What does he have on his walls?" Tony called.

"Ponies.  Hers?"

"Whales."  Horatio laughed, he could hear it.  He smiled at his girl.  "Come on, we'll go pounce the daddy."  He carried her downstairs with his coffee, going back to the porch.  "There.  All clean."  He closed the gate in front of the stairs before letting her down.  She crawled back into his lap and grinned. "Sure, we can cuddle some more."  He drank his coffee and held her, watching the world light up around them.  "It's pretty here."

"I have four acres, Tony.  If you want to put a small cabin on the other side, go ahead," Xander said quietly.

"Thanks, Xander.  I'll think about it."   He watched the pony stomp.  "Is she all right?"

"She probably found another snake.  She does like to stomp on them."  The horse wandered off, eating some more grass.  "She's a good lawnmower."  Gibbs smacked him on the head.  "Hey!"

"Goats are lawnmowers.  She's a beast of burden."

"Not really.  She eats the grass."  He climbed over the railing to check her water pail, getting her more.  She came over to drink then wandered off again.  He found the remains of the snake and tossed it into the compost pile Tara had set up, then went back to his seat, now beside Horatio.  "Morning."

"Morning."  Liam reached for Xander so he let him have him.  "He was on my head."

"He does that.  He thinks he's a pony hat some days."  He gave him a cuddle then his son went back to his other father for a few more minutes.  "How's Catty?"

"I haven't seen her in a few days."

"Eric sounded like he had a hangover the last time I called."

"Flu," Horatio told him.  "Gibbs, how's Speed?"

"He's fine, Horatio.  He's thinking he'll be back in Miami in a few days."  He finished his coffee.  "I haven't heard from Jackson or Kowalski."

"Me either," Xander admitted.  "But I could call Willow.  She and Buffy went to work on one of their farther flung projects once they get there in a few weeks."  Gibbs and Tony both gave him odd looks.  He grinned.  "Danny's Jack came to recruit them.  Talked up all the hotty guys and stuff.  They liked that idea.  They're in pre-training time now."

"Uh-huh," Tony said, shaking his head quickly.  The very idea that Buffy was making first contact with alien species was a horrifying one.  They'd all think they were Valley Girl princesses.

Xander leaned over to look at him.  "Apparently that project has luck like ours was and they keep running into things that we understand very well.  Willow said her magic works very well and the people she works with only give her horrified looks every few days.  Apparently she stopped a food fight last time and they were not amused."  He leaned back again, content with the new horrified look Tony had.

Tony looked at his boss.  "Can we tell them why that's a bad idea, boss?"  Gibbs shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Can't reach 'em by phone and I'm sure they know by now, DiNozzo."  Tony whimpered but cuddled his daughter tighter.

"Maybe whoever Danny was talking about invading us will quit when they meet Buffy," Horatio offered.  Gibbs smacked him on the head, earning a glare.  "I'm not yours."

"That was still a bad thought that needs to be erased."

"Tell Calleigh on him.  That's what Eric said he was going to do," Xander told him.   Gibbs got him too.  "Yes, Gibbs."

"Thank you.  Everyone get more coffee and get me some too."  Xander got him some more when he refilled his cup.  The other two went to get theirs and the rest of the kids.  They were happy to be in the cool morning air.  Even when more official vehicles pulled up. Gibbs waved at one coming toward them.  "You already seized it from the person who used to have it.  Don't try it again because your agents were incompetent."

"I'm not.  We need to search the rest of the house.  Mr. Harris is known to have weapons."

"They're not here yet.  Willow wouldn't let me pack them until we found a good hiding spot," Xander told him.  "All the old owner's stuff is in the attic."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris." They went to do that, going over everything in the house.  Though they didn't bother things that were clearly the children's.  Even a child of Harris couldn't hide a weapon at a year or two old.

***

Mac looked up as someone walked into his office.  "Morning."  It was his first day back.  The kids were in daycare.  All the little quirks he and Don had were worked out.  Don had a bigger fish tank now so the kids could stare at it.  "What's wrong?" he asked Chief Hillbourne.

"Who were they?"

"From what I heard, NID."  He handed over his copy of the non-disclosure agreement.  "If you need it, that's what I signed."  He looked it over then handed it back.  "Why are we worried?"

"You suddenly show up with children that you claim have two fathers.  We know you're not gay, Taylor."

"Not my fault.  Someone found them and told me."

"Scientist?" he asked.  Mac nodded.  "Sperm donation?"

"Not that I remember but my DNA has been on file since I was in the military.  Wouldn't be that hard to find a current example of it.  Like that one movie said, it only takes one cell and we shed thousands a day."

Hillbourne shook his head.  "The mother?"

"Scientist," Mac told him.

"Who gave birth to them?"

Mac shrugged.  "They said the birthing beings weren't found."  He didn't want to think about demons giving birth to his son. He might start to get mad again.  "Why?"

"Because one of us did some research and a name came up in common."  He handed over the sheet of paper.  "If you knew them I thought we should talk to them about it."

Mac looked at it then at him.  "I wasn't in on the research part, Hillbourn, but I'll pass it on.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  I don't want any more visits like that."

Mac nodded.  "She overreacted.  She tried to muscle us to not say anything and not admit we had the children even to our bosses and friends."

"That's why we don't let women in charge."

"I heard that," Stella said as she walked past the doorway.  "Some of us aren't that stupid or over-compensating."

Mac smiled.  "What she said.  I don't argue with Stella."  That got another displeased grunt.  "I'll pass this onto the people who did the investigation.  Make sure he's not trying it again."  That got a nod and Hillbourne left.  Mac looked at the paper again before digging out the number for Gibbs' phone.  It came up out of service area.  He frowned and tried DiNozzo's.  Same thing.  So he settled for calling McGee.  "It's Mac Taylor.  Someone up here found a name in common with the Initiative's files.  Our IAB people, McGee.  A Henderson, doctor of genetics and obstetrics.  Specialist in fertility and birth defects."  He nodded.  "I can fax it to you.   Did you find the missing embryos?"  Stella walked in and gave him a horrified look.  He held up a hand.  "He might know.  I tried Gibbs' phone.  He's out of range.  Oh, he's at Xander's.  Yeah, I doubt he has good cell service in the middle of rural Georgia.  Thanks, McGee.  Give me the fax number?"  He wrote it down and punched it in then faxed it down to him.  "Okay, it's heading now.  Thanks.  Let us know."  He hung up.   "Hillbourne found a name in common."

"There's more?"

"Xander and Gibbs both think there's probably more embryos.  We're not certain.  If so, it'll be up to the parents to decide what we're doing with them."

She shuddered. "Mac, three's enough."

"I know, Stella."  He smiled.  "I might keep them on ice to use at a later date."  She walked off shaking her head.  He back back to work on what Stella had left for him to deal with.  It wasn't a great thought but one he hadn't wanted to contemplate yet.

***

Xander grabbed the house phone.  "Xander."  He listened.  "Hi, McGee.  What's up?  GIBBS!" he bellowed.  He came jogging down the stairs.  "McGee.  Mac's people found the doctor they think."  He handed over the phone.

Gibbs walked inside with the cordless phone.  "What's going on?" He listened to the name.  "Was he in the files?  Paid consultant.  So he might know where they are.  That's fine.  Follow it.  If she nags, tell her why.  Find out how many more there are and where.  Bring Kate, leave Ziva out of it.  I doubt she'd have opportunity to do more than threaten anyone.  Thank you.  Keep me informed."  He hung up and went to hand the phone back.  "They're going to question him."

"Thanks.  Let's hope he knows where they are."

"If so, I might end up giving them to Danny's people.  They can hide them or destroy them."  Xander nodded, looking at what he was painting.  "Isn't four enough?" he asked quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "Wouldn't that depend on if Horatio takes Liam from me?"

Gibbs sighed, nodding.  "It could but for now, don't do anything rash, Harris."  He went to check on the others.  "Horatio, DiNozzo, they think they found the doctor."

"Please destroy mine, boss," Tony begged.  "Two's plenty."

"I think handing them to Jackson's people would be best."

"Could be," Horatio agreed calmly. "I'd rather have mine saved.  Just in case I want another one."

"Xander said the same."  He went to get more coffee and check on the other agents.  They were still going through the stored boxes.  "We find anything?"

"Who gives Harris C-4.  Otherwise no," the local DEA chief told him.  "I'm not sure if we should bust that one or not."

"I'd say not, just in case we need him again," Xander said, coming up the stairs with the phone.  "Director."  He walked off again.

"What?" Gibbs asked, listening to her complain.  He looked up, silently praying for patience.  "DEA came back this morning with a warrant to go through anything else the former owner had left here, Director.  Of course we're hoping for another buyer."  He listened to her complain about McGee.  "Someone found the fertility doctor that was a consultant to the Initiative," he said more quietly.  "I gave him permission to talk to him and figure out if there's extra embryos.  No, frankly, I'm handing them to Jackson's people.  That way I know no one's going to use them.  Anything else?  Because Ziva's going to be a liability in talking to him.  That's why I had her stay behind.  No, by the time she gets here, we'll be on a flight back, Director.  Why?  So we can see if Harris can get along with Mossad agents?"

"Willow was Jewish before she was Wiccan," Xander called from downstairs.  "New pot of coffee made."  A few agents went to get refills, one taking the cup Gibbs thrust at him to get him some too.

Gibbs listened to a few more minutes of complaint.  "Director, I'm still over that investigation and we do not have the final information on any remaining embryos.  That's why they're going to Jackson's people.  That way if they do want to use them, someone decent and who has sense knows where they are.  If not I'm sure they have ways of destroying them so no one else can use them.  No, leaving the embryos in military custody was not part of the non-disclosure agreement.  I'd read it over."  He hung up on her and looked at Horatio.  "She's trying."

"My patience," Horatio agreed.

Xander came up the stairs with cups for Gibbs and Tony, plus a bottle for Horatio.  He got a smile for it.  "If the doctor isn't forthcoming, can I help?"

"We'll see."

"If he was Initiative, he'd know me or Finn, Gibbs.  One of us is going to go up there."

"Would you mind if Jackson's people had them?"

"Please do."  That got a nod and he sipped, wincing.  "Sorry, bottom of the pot.  You said you liked strong coffee."  He grinned and walked off again.  He had Riley's phone number and he was sure he had McGee's.  He called him.  "Riley, Xander.  They found the consultant who was a fertility expert.  McGee is.  That's what I was thinking.  Feel free to use me if you need to."  He hung up and went back to his painting for the kids' amusement.  He was on the front of the house now and they were all happy with the sprayer because it made pretty noises.  He heard the phone ring and went to get it with a sigh.  "House of Highway."  He smiled. "Hi, Eric.  Horatio's still here.  Why?  Horatio!  It's Eric!"  He came down the stairs with Liam and his bottle.  "Is it good?" he asked, taking him outside to help him paint too.  Rebecca made begging noises so he went to get them each one, plugging the begging noises up for now.  Then he went back to painting.  "Someone else can be the secretary for now," he said when Horatio hung up. "I'm busy."

"You know C-4?" Horatio asked from the doorway.  Xander just smirked.  "Xander?"

"Yup.  Pretty well too."  He stopped the sprayer, earning pouting noises from behind nipples.  He looked down.  "Let me talk then we'll paint some more."  He looked at Horatio again. "Giles taught me.  Then I learned more.  You'd be amazed what's on the internet that Willow can find when you ask her."  Horatio walked off shaking his head.  "Tell them half of my collection went with Willow to whatever flying horse place she was talking about.  It'll make them feel *so* much better."

"I doubt it," Tony called from the attic.  His daughter squealed.  "Hi, Becca.  Daddy will be down in a minute."  He came jogging down and picked them up, taking them with him.  Even the sneaky Liam who was trying to go pet the pony again.  Xander had apparently fixed the loose spots on the porch.

Xander went back to painting.  It was a lot faster when he wasn't amusing the kids.  Babysitters were *very* nice.  He'd have to remember that.

***

Daniel looked up when his name went over the loudspeaker, frowning. "What now?"  He went to the front gate, finding Riley Finn there with a small delivery truck.  "What's this?"

"Half the embryos.  Gibbs said your people could hide them.  We're tracking the others.  They had a whole 'nother set of people that weren't on our lists."

"Crap," Daniel muttered.  "Okay, are they properly stored?"

"We took them directly from the storage facility to here, Doctor Jackson.  Gibbs said to please hide them.  Some of us want them saved.  Some of us don't know yet.  A few don't.  We need to take inventory anyway.  Can your people?"

"Let me get my general and doctor up here."  He made the call from the desk. "General, Daniel.  They found some of the embryos.  We've been asked to hold them in storage.  That's why Riley Finn's here.  Please.  With Janet, sir."  He hung up.  "Five minute elevator ride."

"That's fine.  They'll keep this way forever if they have to," Riley told him, getting a smile back.  "The other facility is being raided by the FBI with McGee leading a team since half his team is at Xander's dealing with the former owner of his farmhouse.  Apparently he collected guns and drugs."

"Xander said it was seizure property."

"DEA didn't search very well.  Oh, Xander said something about Willow taking half his collection wherever the winged horse place she was going to was."  Daniel moaned, covering his face.  "I'm not pretending to understand but you might want to warn them she has weapons.  Some archaic.  Some that're probably artillery.  Some are definitely explosives.  Harris' collection made the general who took over after Walsh cry when we stole his inventory file."

"I'll send that message."  Jack made it up first.  "Some of the rest of the embryos."

"Why have us store them?"

"The Director of NCIS wanted them in *her* control, sir," Riley told him.  Jack gave him an odd look.  "She's the one who brokered the hush deal.  On the third attempt since Xander ran her off the first two times."

"Also, we just heard from Xander that Willow brought half of his collection with her wherever the winged horse place she was going was," Daniel told him.

"Charming.  Does Harris have a security rating?"

"We were too annoyed by him to do one," Riley admitted.  "But he is one of those people who fought with Buffy all too often.  They were his plans at their graduation.  He redid them on Giles."  Jack simply nodded at that.  "Don't ask me how he does that, got codes to the Reserve base near Sunnydale, any of it.  Xander just is and does.  He's always there at the right moment with some sort of weapon and it's usually a good solution even if it's not perfect.  We always considered him a jinx, sir.  Every time we ran into him on patrol something bad happened. The least of which was two sprained ankles from tripping into open graves."

Jack simply nodded.  He had reported on what the girls had said about the underground gossip network.  Now they were seeing it closer.  "Does he talk to others?"

"Only those of us in the group," Daniel told him.  "We took most of his friends.  Giles is working downstairs in linguistics."  The doctor and the general came out. "Him, sir."

"Agent Finn.  Why are you asking us to hold them?" the General asked.

"Special Agent Gibbs is asking, sir.  His director wanted control of them and she brokered the hush agreement."  That got a wince from Jack.  "After being scared off by Xander twice."  He smiled.  "This is one half of them.  The other half are embryos that're off the lists we already had and we're working on tracking them down.  Agent McGee would be here but he's raiding another facility to see if he can find them there with the FBI."

"Where is Jethro?" he asked calmly.

"Georgia with Mr. Harris.  The farm Harris bought was DEA seizure and the agents didn't check it very well."

"Oh.  Interesting.  Are we storing them or destroying them?"

"Gibbs left it up to the donors, sir.  McGee did suggest we'd need an inventory sometime but otherwise they're good to stick in a corner for eternity."

"Good enough.  How many units?" the redheaded doctor asked.  "I'll need destroy or keep orders from each of you."

"McGee said he'd do that, ma'am."  He handed over the clipboard from his back waistband.  "That's what we confiscated and counted on-site.  Special Agent McGee or Todd will be out if there's more."

"Why you?" Jack asked.

"I was an Initiative team leader until I found out how bad we were, then I turned.  Walsh liked me as a test subject as well, sir."

"How many do you have?" Janet asked.  Riley showed her pictures, making her smile.  "They're cute, soldier."

"Thank you, Doctor Frasier."  He handed her the keys.  "If you need grunt labor, I can do that.  Graham doesn't expect me back until tonight."

"I think we have plenty on the shit list," Jack told him.  "Figure out a security rating on Harris.  Please?"

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't like Xander.  I don't want to be around Xander.  The man makes me think inappropriate thoughts while hating him, even though there's times I like the little goofball with explosives experience and knowledge.  Harris scares the crap out of me.  Especially when he gives me inappropriate thoughts.  I'd rather let him stay in Georgia and ignore the rest of us.  He doesn't talk to others."

"I'll talk with him," Daniel promised.  "He's a nice guy, Jack.  A goofball."

"Who blew up his high school," Jack pointed out.

"To save the world.  We've done worse," Daniel countered.  "Or should I start naming them?"

"No, we've done worse," Jack admitted.  "Who did he tell that message in front of?"

"Gibbs, Caine, whoever was DEA in the house at the time.  DiNozzo."

"Could've been the press," the general complained.  "All right.  Doctor Frasier, please stick them somewhere out of the way.  Do an inventory.  Let me know so I can let Gibbs know."  That got a nod and she got some Airmen to get the containers for her.  He looked at Finn.  "Where are you going now, son?"

"Home, sir.  I'm assigned to DC until all the trials are done with.  Then we'll see."  That got a nod.  He saluted him.  "With all due respect, it's nap time, General."

"Go, son.  Have a better life."  That got a nod and he left.  He looked at Daniel.  "Harris said what?"

"Willow brought half of his weapons collection with her to whatever winged horse place she was going to," Jack reported.

The General nodded.  "At least it was in code."

"Knowing Harris, no, that was a figure of speech," Daniel said dryly.

"Hey, she's there, not here," Jack said happily.  "Using all that strange stuff over there.  Where the other strange stuff happens.  They should mesh pretty well."  The magically stopped food fight had seriously creeped him out, especially seeing it all floating in midair while she calmly ate her cereal.

"I'm sure Sheppard will be very happy with you for saying that, Jack.  Should I tell him?" Danny offered with a grin.

"No.  I'll hear it soon enough I'm sure."  He went to check on the current reports.  Willow and Buffy had left on the ship before the one that had just came back.

***

Somewhere in a galaxy slightly far away Willow was looking at the panicking military personnel.  They had only been there for two days.  "What?  We don't have anything to blow things up?  Shoot, people, we made fertilizer bombs to blow up our high school when we had an Ascension.  Ooh!" she squealed.  "A thought.  Buffy, the stuff."

"Oooh, pretty going away presents.  Xander will be proud."  She went to Willow's room with a hotty Marine she drug behind her.  "Here, be a pack mule person."  She handed him two of the bags and got the other three.  "If I can do it and I'm five-four and you're over six foot of muscles, you can keep up," she said when she outdistanced him.  "Geeze, need boot camp again much?"  She put the bags down, smiling at Willow.  "Xander-style parting gifts."  She took the other two.  "I think these are the sharp and pointy collection."

"Hmm."  Willow dug into the magically enhanced bags, tossing out a few things.

"That was thermite," the leader of SGA-1, Colonel John Sheppard said calmly.  He had to be calm otherwise others would start screaming.  Him panicking often got others to do it worse.  Then again, with those weapons being pulled out....  Who were these two?  O'Neill hadn't said they were nutjobs about weapons.

"Xander always said thermite was just as good of a toy as a slinky.  Even changed the slinky song so it went 'thermite, thermite, it's a fun toy, it's fun for a girl and a boy," Willow said happily.  "He had it on a t-shirt too but Faith took it from him when she tried to kill him the last time."  She came up with something.

"Here, 'splody," Buffy said proudly.

"We might need more range," one of the Marines said.  He looked a bit nervous.  These two...girls were pulling out weapons?  They were delicate little girly girls who wore fashionable, or in Willow's case geeky, clothes.

Willow looked at it.  "It's got a mile range."  She handed it over anyway and dug in again. "Would a missile help?"  The Marines all moaned.  She handed over the missile. "I don't think I have the launcher in here."  She got into another bag and shrugged.  "I don't see it.  It must still be back in Xander's stuff."

"Can ... we see those?" Sheppard asked with a smile.  He didn't want to scare them or tip them off that he was thinking about sedation and restraints for them.  He wasn't sure why he had been sent this pair in the first place and now he was starting to see why.  They'd have to have a talk later about what they used to do at home that got them recruited.  Beyond Rosenburg's computer stuff.  That way he knew what jobs to give them and what to keep them away from.  He could see his team's second and head of the scientists getting ready to go on a rant.  He caught his eye and shook his head subtly.  McKay got the hint but you could see he'd be screaming and ranting about this  incident later.

"No, they've still got unmentionables in them," Willow said with a blush.  "You can play with the toys after I unpack."

"Sure," he agreed.  "Can we do that tonight?  I'm sure Buffy can help you unpack."

"I'm already unpacked.  Jack made me bring practical clothes instead of what I used to wear hunting vampires," Buffy told him.  They all gaped.  She smiled and wiggled her fingers.  "I'm from Sunnydale."  A few went pale.  "I'm *that* Buffy.  By the way, the Initiative did other bad things so if you were part of them be thankful you didn't get the daddy call Riley and Graham got."

They all backed away from them.

"What?  Xander has, like, four kids," Willow told them happily.  "I even have pictures."  She pulled them out too.  She pointed out the window.  "Isn't that the 'splody, panicky creating thing, guys?"

Buffy looked at the missile then the other one, shrugging and taking it out onto one of the neat little terrace places.  "Let's see.  It's this end that fires, right?"

"Other end!" someone shouted.

She turned it around.  "Last time Xander handed it to me.  All I had to do was aim and shoot."  She pointed it at the thing.  "Hmm.  That's a good target."  She shot it off and the ship exploded.  "That one, right?" she called.

Doctor McKay looked at his team leader.  "You're going to bring us all to the brink of insanity, aren't you?" he asked.

He smiled and nodded.  "O'Neill sent them.  The rest of their team is in Linguistics on base."

"Xander retired and moved to Georgia to be a daddy," Buffy agreed.  She put down the used launcher.  "Can we use that again?"

"If not, we can recycle it," McKay said, taking it and walking off.  "Willow, you have hacking skills?" he asked.  "I'll see you tonight to see if you can get into the native computer systems for more information."

"Sure.  Do you want my little electronic imp too?  It's good at going out to check systems for me."

"We'll see," he said with a fake smile, going to kick a wall in his lab and vent before he screamed at the young ladies.  There weren't many women on Atlantis and the other men would beat his ass if he drove the two new, pretty ones off.  He'd have to wait a week until all the horny Marines and scientists decided they were too strange to lust over, like he had.

Sheppard picked up some of the stuff she had tossed out of a bag. "Let's get you two settled so we can assign you to duties and a boot camp class, ladies.  It's mandatory for all personnel before you ask."

"Does that mean I can watch the sweaty, hotty guys?" Buffy asked.

"Sure," he agreed.  "And they can watch you being sweaty too."

"That's fine."  They carried the stuff back together.  He was even nice enough to wait outside while Willow put up her things.  Then they brought the bags back out so they could empty them for the amusement of the Marines.  The movies O'Neill had suggested were snatched as soon as they appeared.  The weapons got some funny looks.  Especially the crossbows.  "Did you use these?" Sheppard asked.

"All the time.  It's easier than a stake and they can't mess up my clothes."

"Good to know.  Maybe we can modify them with explosive tips?"  Willow handed over a box marked 'hazardous'.  "Thermite?" he asked.

"No, he did something funky he found online.  It's a chemical thing.  Eats vamps from the inside out.  Makes them scream.  We use it when we're in a bad mood."

"Makes PMS so much better, even better than chocolate," Buffy agreed happily.  "It's for those really bad months."

He nodded.  "I'll keep that in mind and make sure the Marines are able to handle a crossbow just in case." The stakes got put into the bucket Willow had pulled out.  The other arms got looked over and put into the armory for later use and training.  Some of it was very nice.  Some of it was very naughty.  Some of it made people confused but they all figured they could give the two slaying people a wide berth until boot camp could make them normal.  Sheppard caught the last thing being pulled out, looking at the case.  "How did he get this?  It's in current testing.  It's not even been issued to combat testing troops.  SGC couldn't even get it yet!"

Willow shrugged.  "It's Xander.  No one's really sure where Xander gets his weapons from but it's only half his collection.  The rest is going to Georgia."

"Think he'd share?"

"You'd have to ask.  He pets them like they're his babies," Buffy said from her seat.  "He's also a big fan of guns."

"Guns are bad around the kids though so you might be able to talk him into it," Willow offered.

"We could use them," Sheppard agreed.  "I'll have O'Neill ask him."

"Danny knew him," Willow told him.  "He got the same daddy call Xander did."

"Daddy call?"  Jackson, their often-dead language and trouble specialist was a father and the world hadn't ended?  "Huh?" John asked.

"The Initiative did it," Buffy said cheerfully.  "They decided to do the blender thing with DNA in a dish.  Made two-daddy babies.  They're all so cute!  Even though I think they're a disease that's more contagious than chicken pox, they're still adorable.  Willow, show him the pictures."

"Sure."  She dug them out to show him.  "That's Xander's brood.  That one's not his but he adopted her because her father's a poopy head and couldn't take care of her because she's half demon.  That's Selene.  Her other daddy is a New York cop.  That's Liam.  His other daddy's this hotty, sullen redheaded guy from Miami named Horatio.  This is Rebecca.  Her other daddy is Tony.  He's on Gibbs' team.  That's how everyone got the daddy call.  Gibbs found all the kids when Xander got a hint from our friend Cordy.  Who recently turned into an ascended glowly squid girl."  She turned the picture.  "That's Rachel again, his adopted one.  Ooh, there's Catty.  Her daddy is a Latin honey that works with the sulky Horatio in the lab."

He looked at her.  "They mixed DNA in a dish?"

"Must have.  They made two-daddy babies and used demons to have them," Buffy told him.  "They were all about experimenting on their people.  I used to date Riley and he ended up with two from his buddy Graham.  So now he's a daddy too.  Though I did handle it much better than Anya did.  I did not go on a wailing and moaning fit.  I'm very proud of myself.  I only had ice cream."

"So am I," Willow told her with a grin.  She looked at Sheppard again.  "Danny got the same daddy call as Xander did but I think he said he only had one."

"Interesting.  Does Jack know?"  Both women nodded.  "Did you see the baby?"

Buffy beamed and nodded. "Wyatt's so cute!  His daddy's a cop out of Chicago.  Jack was making gooey faces at him but denied it when Danny caught him."

"I'm so going to get pictures."  He walked off.  "Willow, you should go see Rodney.  Buffy, come with me and we'll get you signed up for a boot camp session."

"Sure.  Can't be any harder than slaying after an all-dayer and finals."  She followed him out while Willow got her computer gear and went to help the strange, disturbed Doctor McKay.  "Is that Doctor guy okay?  He looks like he's about three corks short of a breakdown at the moment."

"You just surprised him by pulling out weapons that way."

Buffy grinned.  "But it's fun.  So was firing off one of those in the mall to keep the thing that was going to eat all humanity from doing it."  He gave her an odd look. "Sunnydale was just like that.  You should ask Jack to get you the Initiative's files.  They're kinda interesting even if they are ewwish and full of torture.  Plus they got stuff wrong.  Werewolves do turn on the moon cycle.  All but Oz."

"Oz?"

"Willow's former honey.  He went to Tibet to control the wolfie and she got a Tara snuggly witch."

"Okay.  Is Tara coming?"

"Tara's kinda shy and doesn't like to be around new people.  She's staying with Giles to help him on the base.  How did they dig a base under a mountain?  Wouldn't the shovels break?"

He nodded.  "They make equipment for that."

"Xander did construction.  I only worked there for a week. The guys got scared of the super strength."

"I'd like to test that."

She beamed. "Sure.  Arm wrestling?"

"Sure, we'll do it with Ronon."  He called him over and let him test her.  He was one of their best physical fighters.  Let's see what Buffy could do.  Two hours later, the medics were not amused when Ronon was brought in.

***

Daniel showed up at Xander's about a week later, smiling at him.  "I've heard back from Buffy and Willow.  They got there just fine. Their first full day they showed off what you sent with them as a greeting present."  Xander grinned.  "You know you can't tell anyone, right?"

"Only those who already know."

"No one really knows, Xander."

"Really?  There's all sorts of stories in Sunnydale about you guys.  I nearly bowed to you.  You cause more trouble than I do, even hyped on chocolate.  Liam, the pony is not a chew toy," he called without having to look.

Danny looked then smiled.  "Hi, Liam."  He came running over to hug him.  "Aww.  Thank you.  Nearly as good as Wyatt does."  He put him back down with a smile.  "Be a good boy."  He beamed and went to bother the pony some more.  "Is it safe?"

"He looks at her like she's god," Xander told him.  "She's safe around him.  He grinned at him.  "You mean other agents don't know?"  Danny shook his head.  "Oops.  Sorry."

"That's okay."  He patted him on the arm.  "Jack wanted to know if Willow could have the rest of your collection.  What you sent came in very handy."  Xander pouted.  "Remember, guns are bad around babies."

"Must I?"

"You probably should.  That way they can't find them and get hurt."

Xander considered it then nodded, writing down something and taking off his necklace.  "Here, to my storage area in LA.  The ATF guys broke in and got part of it but not all of it.  I was borrowing someone else's stuff and they don't like demon arms dealers.  If you look in the blue desk that's hidden really well you'll find my address book and in it's my other storage areas and my contacts.  They can probably help.  After all, there's demon things that'll eat vampires."

"I'll do that," he agreed happily.  "Thank you."  He sat down beside him.  "How are you doing?"

"We're getting into a routine.  It's working out okay.  Horatio and I are even at peace at the moment."  He looked at him.  "Are you here because I had the verbal oops?"

"No, I'm here because we really need to do a security clearance on you.  Just in case it comes up.  Plus to ask you about the embryos that were found."

"I want mine in case I want more kids."

Danny nodded. "I'll tell Janet that."  He gave him a squeeze to the arm.  "So, let's go over what you've done and what you know.  That way we have a comprehensive background to work from and we know where to sit your security clearance."

"Sure.  Want the air conditioning?  We'll have to pry Liam off the pony.  He'll fuss."

"Liam, I'm going to tell the others a story!" Danny called.  The baby came running back to pounce him.  He smiled.  "They all like stories.  Tara showed me that the last time I had Wyatt.  She's helping Giles on our base."  He helped him carry the kids inside to the cooler air and sat down to tell them a story so they could take a nap.  Then he and Xander sat in there to do a comprehensive interview.  It didn't make him happy but it was necessary.

***

Daniel came back to the base three days later with a delivery truck.  "Someone call Jack, this stuff is going to Rosenburg and Summers."

"Their wardrobes?" the airman at the gate snorted.

Danny popped him upside the head. "No!  Weapons."  He smirked at the pouting. "Learned that from Gibbs."

"He's downstairs."

"That's fine.  I'll go down there in a minute.  Get grunts."  That got a nod and the people on the present shit list came to haul and tote down to a storage room he wanted them in.  He walked into the office with a smile for the general once one of them had the keys to return the truck.  "I'm back.  Xander gave up the rest of his collection to help Rosenburg and Summers."  Jack handed him a note.  He laughed at the 'Rosenburg and Summers are insane but thank you for the weapons.  We won't sacrifice them to anyone if you give us more toys' message.  "They're not insane.  That's how they were trained, Jack."  He put down the interview cassettes.  "A thorough interview and background on Harris."  Gibbs snatched it to listen to.  "He's going to be rated fairly highly.  Oh, he said his underground heard of us.  He nearly bowed to me for causing the same sort of trouble he does.  The stuff for Atlantis is in a storage closet."  He smirked at Jack.  "He knew a lot of people who volunteered when I told them who I was.  Especially that Angel guy when Xander's ex Cordelia came down to chat in her Ascended form."  Jack moaned and shook his head.  He grinned at the general.  "Xander's a mini me without the education.  My nature and Jack's attitude combined, sir."

"Too bad he's got four kids.  We could pair him with a few sane people and make a full team," Hammond said dryly.

"The day we go to Atlantis, sir," Jack told him.  "Go right ahead."

"I could make you train him," Hammond taunted.

Gibbs looked at him.  "He insists he's retired unless it's a problem, General."

"Besides, he and Danny would get together and the rest of the universe would end, again," Jack quipped.

Gibbs nodded.  "There is that."  He went back to listening, then pulled the headphones, letting them all hear about the possession.  "That's how he got the base's codes."

"It explains how he hunts so well now," Daniel said.

"It explains how he knows explosives and weapons," Jack said.

"That's not the only one.  He had an animal one too.  A hyena."  That got a groan.  "It's nice that four teenagers and a librarian helped save the world nearly as many times as we have."

"Bad thought," Jack said firmly.

"No, bad thought is wondering if their hellmouth is like a natural stargate only it goes to other realms.  I've got to ask Rupert that."  He called down to the languages lab.  "Rupert, technical question.  Is the hellmouth like a stargate only it goes to realms instead of other planets?"  He listened, nodding slowly.  "Interesting.  Thank you.  Tell Sam, maybe she can find some way to lock it down."   He hung up.  "It is but it's got guardians and they're not happy if they have to come out to eat us all."

Hammond blinked a few times.  "They will?"  Danny nodded.  "He's sure?"

"Apparently they've seen and stopped them a few times."

"Oh."  He just sighed and nodded.  "I don't want to deal with that stuff."

"Rosenburg said her magic worked in the Pegasus Galaxy," Jack said cheerfully.  "They introduced her to a nature religion race and she was babbling happily at them.  They were scared of Buffy at first but Willow spoke their language and got them all calmed down about her so they were greeted warmly and they're babbling and dancing around with each other."  That got another nod then Hammond took some advil.  "Could be worse, Danny could still be there."

"Stop, Colonel.  Before I take a vacation and leave you in charge," he ordered.  Jack shuddered but pipped down.  "Thank you!"  He looked at Gibbs.  "Can we use that to set his security clearance?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Did you find out where our leak was, Doctor Jackson?"

"Yup.  They're in the walls."  He looked around, finding the dents Xander had told him about.  He walked over and tapped until something came to the surface.  He pulled it out carefully and walked it over. "They're sentient.  They talk to other worms.  Other species talk to those worms.  We haven't been fully secure since the moment we walked upright thanks to them."

Jack whimpered.  "Elimination?"

"If you do the rock could fall apart.  They have something to do with the covalent bonding principles.  I don't know what."  He put the worm back in the spot, letting it crawl off.  "It's like they're phasing through the rock just out of our temporal stream unless they hit fresh air."

Jack muttered something, getting up and walking out.  Danny gave the general a smug look.  "Go away," the general ordered.

"Yes, sir." He walked out, getting back to his lab and work.  He had a new language he needed to learn.  He could learn a lot from the worms and they might find some off-world from a building or a monument that got stolen.

Gibbs looked at the General.  "We get the same thing from Harris."

"He'll rank high then," he agreed.  They listened to the rest of the interview so they could set his ranking.  Before things got out of hand.  Or there was an emergency and they resorted to calling in Harris to help fix it.  No one wanted to ship the guy to the Pegasus Galaxy to save his friends if they could help it.  After they had decided where he should be, Gibbs went to look at the stored weapons collection.  Someone had to stop the kid.  Looks like it fell on his shoulders.

***

Xander looked up as Horatio walked into the farmhouse, waving from the table.  "Have a good trip?"

"No."  He sat down across from him.  "Gibbs saw your collection."

"Should I 'eep'?"

"You should probably run.  He said if he ever sees classified weapons in civilian hands again, especially yours, no one will need to worry about custody issues."  Xander stared at him.  "He was serious, Xander.  You broke a good portion of the laws in the US with some of those."

"How would I know if they're classified?  It's not like they're stamped 'classified, do not give out like candy' on 'em."  He went back to feeding Liam his breakfast.  "All I know is it was offered.  I thought it might be needed.  Giles put me in charge of our weapons store because he doesn't like guns."  He fed Liam another bite, then Rebecca made begging noises.  "Feed her please?  Hers is in the bowl warming."  Horatio got up to get her food and the spoon, sitting down to feed her.  "I'll call him in a bit," he mumbled, going back to the feeding, muttering under his breath about paranoid people.  Not like he was going to use it to deal with normal threats.  When Liam was done he fed Rachel then he went to email Gibbs.  Well, email Tony and he could pass it on.

***

Tony looked at the new email message, clicking on it since it said 'hand to Gibbs'.  He read it then snickered.  "Boss, Xander said until they stamp the weapons with 'classified, don't hand out the toys like candy' how was he supposed to know it was classified.  Also, he was offered it, no one said anything about whichever it was being classified, and Giles put him in charge of the weapons because his highest weapon was a crossbow."  He looked at him.  "He also said next time don't let them fall into the wrong demonic hands and it's not like he was going to use them on anything less than world ending emergencies anyway.  He likes weapons, they're neater than pets.  He's not going to use them on others, it kills them."  Gibbs moaned, putting his head down.  Tony printed it and handed it over as requested.  "They really should stamp the classified things classified and a date."  He sat down again.  "What did he have?"

"Don't ask, I can't tell you," Gibbs said, calling down there.  "No more buying weapons, Xander.  I don't care if they are nice.  I don't care if they are like pets to you.  They're dangerous for the babies.  Yes, I know that's why you gave the rest to Daniel.  Don't buy any more.  No, you can buy a hunting rifle," he sighed, making Tony snicker.  "I don't expect for you to hunt for the kids with a sword or a crossbow.  Though I think Danny took those too since they were in the closet.  No, Giles is working with Danny.  If it's that sort of emergency he'll call I'm sure."  He rubbed his forehead.  "No, we don't stamp it because it makes the bad guys want it more, Xander.  I don't care.  Just don't."  Xander asked a pitiful question.  "No, no explosives either, Xander.  They're bad and can hurt the babies and you.  If you don't believe me, ask Horatio."  He hung up and went to get some more coffee and calm himself down before he flew to Georgia, head smacked the boy, then flew home. He had only gotten home from Colorado last night.

Tony and McGee both snickered.  When Kate came back before Gibbs, Tony pointed at the note.  "From Xander.  The boss apparently told him he can't have more weapons because he found something classified."

She read it then burst out giggling too.  "Yeah, that'll work."  She sat down.  "What did he get?"

"Gibbs won't tell us," McGee told her

"That boy had WHAT!" the director demanded from the walkway next to MTAC.

"Ask Gibbs," Tony called back.  "It went to Jackson."

Gibbs came out of the break room, staring at her.  "No comment."  He went back to making new coffee, muttering under his breath.  He would not call Xander.  He wouldn't.  He walked out and glared at Tony.  "No emailing him either."

"Fine," he muttered, canceling his email.  "I was only going to tell him the director wanted to have an inventory list."  Gibbs smacked him on the head then went to shoo people away from his coffee.  They saw the scowl, they ran, it was a good thing.  Tony did it anyway, then smiled and cleared his browser history. He heard the stomping and smiled.  "Most of it went with Doctor Jackson, Director.  Though Xander did just say he was going to keep a hunting rifle in case he needed to hunt for the table."  She growled at him and kept going.  He waved and smiled at her back, stopping when Gibbs caught him.  "What?" he said at the dirty look.

"Paperwork, DiNozzo?"

"All done, boss," he said cheerfully.  "Since I couldn't sleep on the flight back I did it then.  How is Cheyenne Mountain?"

"Freaky, same as always," Kate quipped.  "McGee, how many embryos are missing?"

"Half and almost none of the parents are on the list we have."  He put it up on the main monitor.  "The doctor the NYPD Internal Affairs department found for Taylor admitted to having three helpers.  All three are in their own practices.  Raiding their offices with warrants looking for information on this subject led to one storage area, which was handed to those in Cheyenne Mountain.  The rest of the records are in code.  Abby's trying to decode them.  I've asked Finn and Miller, neither one get it."

"Just a thought, have we asked Rupert Giles?" Tony asked.  "It looks like a language in a book he had in his shop.  I was flipping through a thesaurus of multiple languages and that looks like some of the chicken scrawl language I found."

"I hadn't," McGee admitted.  "I can fax it over to him.  I have a direct line to Jackson's office now.  If we can find the others and they don't correspond to people on the list...."

"We contact them, let them know there are embryos with their names on them, let them decide," Gibbs told him.  "It's the right thing to do.  I'd be hellishly pissed if mine was one and it was destroyed without me knowing."

"Funny you should mention that, boss," McGee said, getting up and walking a paper over.  "Someone wanted to cross you with Xander and you with Taylor."  He fled back to his seat at the growl.

"Those would be some stubborn kids," Tony said dryly.  Kate nodded at that, looking a bit scared.  Gibbs glared at him.  "Consider it, boss.  Xander's stubborn enough that people beg him to go away.  He nearly out-stubborned you and Caine about Liam.  His stubborn plus your stubborn has got to be exponential on the stubborn scale."

Kate shuddered.  "Please don't give me more mental images I don't want."

Tony grinned.  "Apologizing is a sign of weakness, Kate."

The director came back.  "What is going on?"

"Apparently one of the embryos that was found was mine and Harris' together," Gibbs told her.  She gave him a horrified look, taking a step away from him.  "Still want the regular military to have them?"

"They'd be great soldiers, boss," Tony offered.

"With smartass genes," Kate added.  "No Drill Instructor would *ever* get through to that kid.  He'd be a boot camp nightmare."

"We could let O'Neill train him," Tony offered with a grin.  "He's said to get some very tough recruits to the point of fearing him so they do what they're told."

"With Xander's luck, he'd take over somewhere," Gibbs told him.  "Stop it.  Now."  He looked at McGee.  "Finn delivered him?"

"Her and yes."

"A female Gibbs and Xander," Tony said, wincing.  "Ow.  The poor boys of the future."

"Send those notes to Giles," Gibbs ordered patiently.  "DiNozzo, go to the gym.  Work all the bad thoughts out before I box them out."  Tony fled.  "And don't tell Abby!" he yelled after him.  "McGee," he said more calmly.  "How many more do we think there are?"

"As many as a thousand, boss."

"Find them.  Hand them over.  Tell the parents."  McGee nodded, faxing that information over, along with a note about that one embryo.  A female Xander/Gibbs would definitely take over a world in hail of gunfire and explosions and then rule it with a light touch.  They hoped.

***

Daniel looked at the fax, then around.  "Rupert!" he bellowed.  He came jogging in.  "From McGee at NCIS.  These are the notes they found about the other embryos."

He looked at it.  "I need a better copy than this.  Surely they can get a better one?"

"Call.  What's that written at the bottom?"

He squinted to read the messy handwriting.  "Oh, dear.  One of the embryos is Jethro Gibbs' and Xander's together.  It's a female one.  They want to make sure if she's born, she's trained here."

"Jack?" Daniel called, sounding to himself like he was whining.  Jack came rushing in.  "Tell him, Rupert."

He handed over the paper.  "The note at the bottom.  I'll call to get a better copy of that."

Jack read the note.  "Does that say one of the future people we have in storage is Gibbs' and Harris' daughter?"  Daniel nodded.  "Alrighty then."  He got into Daniel's desk, finding the tylenol and walking off with the bottle to tell Hammond.  "The note at the bottom, sir," he said as he passed both off.  "If she's born, I'm not training her.  I'll shoot myself first.  Or I'll go beg Hathor to keep me this time.  Whatever."  He kept walking.

Hammond read it then went to call Jethro.  "Gibbs, we can destroy the one that mixes you and Harris, right?"  He nodded.  "Thank you for your permission."  He called the number Daniel had left for Xander.  "Mr. Harris, this is General Hammond.  I'm over Daniel's project, yes.  No, we needed to talk about one of the embryos, son. One's a daughter between you and Jethro Gibbs."  The boy burst out cackling and he could hear worried adults in the background.  "By your laughter I can see you foresee the problem if she ever gets born.  Can we have your permission to destroy just that one?"  He nodded.  "Thank you.  Yes, we're all afraid of her coming into being and then taking over the world, or something equally bad.  No, if they're still there when she's old enough we could gladly ship her off to your friend Willow."  Giles gave him an odd look when he walked past the door.  "Mr. Giles is outside.  Do you need to talk to him?"  He smiled.  "I'll tell him that, son.  Thank you."  He hung up and called the infirmary.  "Doctor Frasier, it's Hammond.  One of the embryos needs to be destroyed.  Yes, just one.  It's listed as Gibbs/Harris and it's a female.  That one, yes.  That would be the parents."  She cackled.  "He suggested if she does get born we send her to Atlantis and his friends there if they're still there.  That she could take over that galaxy."  He nodded.  "That's why.  Both parents agreed.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He said he's fine, the babies are happy and fine, and he'll email Tara later so you can get it off her."

"I'll do so.  That truly is a horrible child from what I've heard about Jethro Gibbs.  Xander's enough to make a system lord beg.  Those two together would be hell on the universe."  He walked off shaking his head.  He ran into Daniel and Jack.  "Xander suggested if it wasn't destroyed and came into being, we send her to Willow and Buffy."

Jack looked at him.  "John Sheppard would kill you, Rupert.  Even the hint of that mixing would make him fly back here and kill you.  Did they okay the destruction?"  Rupert nodded with a smile.  "Good.  Before I have to babysit the kid.  Danny's is bad enough on the stubborn scale and he's only five and a half months now."  He walked off holding his head, going to the infirmary for pain killers since he had given the bottle away.  "Doc?" he called as he walked in.  "I have a headache."

"Did they tell you about that embryo too?"

He whimpered.  "They said if she came to be, they'd send her to Xander's friends in Atlantis."

She burst out in cackles again, shaking her head and dispensing pain medicine.  "I'll destroy it tonight, Jack."

"Thank you.  And don't let Loki or Thor near it either."

"You know, sir, Thor said he'd heard of Xander somehow," Sam said from where she was getting some blood drawn.  Jack gave her a horrified look.  She smirked.  "Gotcha."

"Don't even joke about it.  He might like Harris."  He walked off after getting a second dose of pain killer, going to tell Hammond that too.  "Sir, Carter  needs a real vacation.  She just joked that Thor said he'd heard of Harris."

"Now, that's a network I want to belong to," Daniel joked.

Giles looked at him.  "It's not that improbable with some of Xander's demonic connections.  Thor asked me how Angel was the last time he popped in."  He went back to the lab to gather the newly sent copies of those files so he could decode them.  What he saw made him whimper in horror, but he sent it back to McGee.

Tara looked over his shoulder then gave him a hug.  "Xander won't be taking over the universe and there's not going to be a race of Xanders in the future either," she promised quietly in his ear.  He nodded, hugging her back.  Daniel leaned in so she handed over the translations.

Daniel looked at them then went to find Jack, handing it to him.  "I want to Ascend again so I can watch it but be safely out of the way."

"Hasn't helped me yet," a female voice said, turning into a ghostly looking version of Cordelia.  "Someone *really* wanted Xander to take over the universe.  I say we send them all to Willow so she can make them all proper Xanders.  After all, she made the first one."

"How did you get in here?" Jack asked.

"Glowy squid girl now," she said in a mocking tone.  "How do you think?  One always calls to another."

Jack looked at Daniel.  "You're not allowed to die or Ascend ever again, Danny.  I mean it."  He stomped off.

Danny looked at her.  "So you dated Xander?"

She snorted. "Dated, snogged, and other things."  Tara came out and poured something on her, making her fade and disappear.  "Hey!" she called right before her pop of displaced air happened.

"We don't need those rumors either," she said quietly, going back to work.

"Thank you, Tara.  Also thank you for the brownies this morning.  They were great."  He went back to his office to find his other bottle of pain killer.  He always kept at least two.

***

In a not so far away galaxy Willow looked up from her work, thinking about something.  "Cordy, is that you?" she called, startling Doctor McKay next to her.  Cordy appeared.  "What's up?"

"News.  Always with the news since I'm now a messenger for the Powers."  She smiled. "Being a glowy squid girl is pretty cool.  I get to watch the Xander babies and the multi billion Xander embryos that they've got stored.  One was going to be a daughter of Xander and Jethro Gibbs."  Willow gaped at that, then slowly shook her head.  She had met Tony's boss.  "They all suggested you get her but I think they're going to remove that threat from the shelf.  Also, a lot of the embryos are going to turn out to be baby Xanders, Flacks, Taylors, or Tonys.  They're all really cute guys."  She smiled. "Tara made me go away when I said that a race of Xanders wouldn't take over the universe.  The Powers said so.   They're playing what-if at the moment."

Willow stared at her.  "Go destroy them."

"I can't.  Not allowed," she said with a cheeky grin then she disappeared.

Doctor McKay stared at her for a moment.  "How long have you known an ascended one?"

"That was Cordy.  She dated Xander in high school.  We used to be friends until she got popular.  The Powers gave her horrible visions and she changed so they wouldn't kill her.  You could've brought baby pictures," she called.

"Why?" John Sheppard asked from the doorway.

"Cordy was here."

"Who?" he asked.  "And how did she get onto a top secret base in a galaxy far away from home?"

"She's ascended," McKay told him dryly.  These two got stranger and stranger.  Soon they were all going to be like them and he'd be fully insane.

"Ah."

"She called herself a glowy squid girl."

"Uh-huh," John said, nodding.  "And...."

"News on the embryos that the Initiative left lying around.  A lot of them are Xander's.  Some are the other guys they were using for baseline skills.  She said the Powers are playing what-if and if they're too evil they'll be sent here so I can make them into good little future Xander's."

Cordy reappeared.  "But they won't create a whole race of them because that's just evil and the Powers are on the side of good.  They wanted to make sure you remembered that when Buffy bit the wraith back."  She disappeared again.

John Sheppard walked off.  "I think I need something for my headache."

Buffy spotted him.  "How did you get the Xander'd look when he's on earth?"

"Do you know a Cordy?"

"Yeah.  Xander dated her.  Ever met Anyanka?  Xander dated her too."  A few of the Marines in hearing shuddered at that name.  She smiled.  "Why?"

"She was just here."

"Did she bring new baby pictures?"

"No," Willow called.  "She brought news on the embryos.  If they're pulled out of storage there'll be a lot of Xanders."

"The Powers aren't that evil, Willow.  They won't allow that to happen," she said firmly, believing it.  The people who were over her and Angel couldn't be *that* evil.

"No, if they're that bad, we'll get to turn them into proper Xander's."  Buffy smiled at that.  "She said one was a cross between that Gibbs guy and Xander.  A girl one."

John and every Marine who'd ever met Gibbs shook their heads and they all went to get something for their headaches.

"Wow, lots of Xander'd looks and he's still on earth.  That's cool," Buffy told her.

"It is," Willow agreed happily.  "Oh, she's a happy glowy squid girl she said."

"That's always good."

"You know an ascended one?" Ronon asked when he came in at the end of the conversation.

Willow smiled and nodded.  "She used to date Xander."

"He sounds like a strong warrior.  We should meet this Xander and bring him here."

"Don't you dare!" Sheppard yelled.

Buffy grinned.  "He's got kids now.  He's retired."

"Pity.  Are his children going to be good warriors?"

"Three girls, one boy, and one adopted so probably," Buffy said happily.

"Good.  Then hopefully we'll see them taking some of our places some day.  The worlds could use more good warriors."

John Sheppard walked out.  "I had better be dead.  O'Neill had better be dead.  We'd better both be staying dead and you'd better hope they don't team up with Jackson's son."  Ronon gave him a horrified look.  "The same people who gave that Xander guy kids gave Jackson a son."

"Well, then the universe will warp but strong warriors are still needed to replace us."  Sheppard walked off moaning.

"Someone club me in the head?" McKay yelled. "Please?  Those bad ideas are trying to stick and then I'll have to dwell on them instead of getting something useful done."

"Sure, I can do that," Willow said cheerfully, picking up something solid to chase him around with.  His problems were irking her and she had PMS anyway.

"Willow, use the mean arrows," Buffy called.  "It's a good month for it."  She looked outside.  "Ooh, wraiths!" she squealed, getting weapons to go slay.  It was sad but it was going to make her afternoon.  None of the guys would work out with her anymore.  She had to pout.

***

Ten weeks after the last talk with Xander, Tony decided he was fed up with the Director.  He looked at the director, then at Gibbs, then back at the director.  "Effective immediately I'm taking a leave of absence before I commit mass homicide.  Does anyone mind?" he asked with his sweetest smile.  McGee and Ziva both gave him scared looks.

Kate stared for a second then backed her chair up slowly.  "Go.  Now.  Right the hell now.  Before we end up having to handcuff you or find a straight jacket or something.  Now!  Have fun in Georgia, Tony."

"Going to New York to see the other one," he said, getting up and walking off.  He came back two minutes later with the proper form filled out in triplicate like the director wanted.  She gave him a glare.  He pulled out his knife and stuck it to her desk with it.  She backed up and grabbed a pen for show.   He growled.  She signed.  "Thank you.  I'll be back in a week."  He walked off, going home to pack a bag, calling on the way.  "Flack, Tony.  I'm coming your way.  Can I have the baby?  Thanks," he said without waiting for an answer.  He hung up and hit the freeway.

Gibbs glared at the director.  "I will not have you messing with my team any more, Director.  This is my team.  Not yours."  He walked off.  "Kate!  You're temporarily lead agent.  You have paperwork to do!"

"Yes, Gibbs," she said, shooting a glare at the director before hurrying after him.  Ziva, knowing what was good for her followed.

McGee looked at her.  "Feel very lucky he didn't call Xander instead."  He walked out too, going to help Kate since he did most of Tony's paperwork anyway.

Ziva stopped him at the bottom of the stairs.  "What's going on?"

"Well...."  He looked at Gibbs, who shrugged.  He pulled her into the elevator and pulled a Gibbs by shutting it off for some privacy.  "About two years ago there was a group called the Initiative.  Well, a little over two.  Some of them are now two so I'm guessing maybe three years now.  They were out in Sunnydale in California."

"I've heard rumors about that town being evil.  So?"

"They were there to harness the evil as grunt support for the military.  To do that they tortured them, all sorts of stuff.  The psycho scientist in charge also had some pet projects."  He leaned against the side of the elevator.  "One of them was to create children out of certain bloodlines who'd make excellent soldiers probably."  She nodded slowly at that.  "Tony's DNA got used."  She whimpered.  "Twice.  He's got one of each.  A daughter with a guy named Xander Harris down in Georgia now and a son with a CSI in New York named Mac Taylor.  He's went to see the son."

"But why is the director picking on this?"

"The director stuck up for the higher ups who wanted to conceal the project and keep the kids," he said bluntly.  "Xander came to us when he got wind of the kids.  He found the first few files, sent his and Tony's to Tony, and Gibbs sent him to Sunnydale while the rest of us tracked them down.  We grabbed the kids, told the parents, handed them back."

"But that's good."

The elevator lights came on and power was restored.  "I want to know how they did that," McGee said.  He looked at her when they landed in the lobby with the head of security and the Director standing there.  "Gibbs told me to explain something to her, Paul.  Oh, Tony's on vacation, heading for New York and his son."  He pushed the 'door closed' button and flipped off the power again with a grin once they had moved.  "They won't bother us this time."  He got comfortable again.  "The director was sent in with the hush agreement."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes.  She tried to tell them that they weren't even allowed to tell their bosses and friends that they had children.  Mr. Harris scared the crap out of her.  Twice."

"Is he a sociopath?"

"Xander?  No, he used to be on the Sunnydale Protection patrol."  She gaped.  He grinned.  "He was their weapons person.  He's in Georgia now with his five kids.  Four are his, he adopted one that didn't have parents we could find."

"That was nice of him."

"He's a nice guy, but if you screw with him, pray and hope he's feeling merciful.  As we were told by some Initiative staff that survived and got messed with by this same program, he's an end game fighter.  You put his back to the wall and he'll beat you every time.  He's the sort to show up at the right moment with the right weapon and the right plan but at the last moment because most everyone ignores the nice, goofy, sweet guy until they get in his face."

She nodded.  "One of Tony's children is with him?"

"One of Tony's children is partially his.  They did the DNA mixing thing as Xander puts it."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "All males.  They used some people as baseline and added different bloodlines to them to see what would happen if you mixed someone like Xander or Tony, who really are a lot alike, to say someone like CSI Taylor or CSI Caine down in Miami.  Xander's only son is shared between them."  She slumped against the other wall, staring at him.  "The director was baiting Tony about not getting to see his kids very often.  Tony gave the other fathers custody because we work terrible hours."

"It's a reasonable and good thing to do in that case," she said quietly.

"We think so and the other fathers agreed it's a good idea.  Xander's always happy to babysit any of the brood if we need him too.  He's got visitation with the ones he doesn't have full custody of.  It's nice.  He's a nice guy.  If Tony had went to him, Xander would've had the director eaten.  Or something."

Ziva swore in Hebrew.  "What else do I need to know?"

"The director didn't want us to hand over the embryos we have found to one of the groups out in Colorado for safekeeping.  We knew that group was long-term, wasn't going to use it, and if something happened they had a geneticist on staff.   There's some people in charge who want the embryos to stay in military control.   They're pulling her strings.  That's what set Tony off.  That's what set Gibbs off.  Gibbs was the one who told the other parents.  He was the push to get the other parents told.  The day the information started to come in the director tried to interfere and Gibbs handcuffed her to a filing cabinet.  Then he went to stop a base from moving the children deeper into hiding."  She swallowed but nodded.  "So if we suddenly need a new director, I'm not sure of the cause.  One of the fathers is out in that group in Cheyenne Mountain.  There's a number of officers, two soldiers, and Xander among the others.  If something happens, I doubt we'll have word.  Though if you ever hear Xander calling panicking about a problem, no matter how strange it sounds, listen to him, make notes, tell Gibbs.  Gibbs is the only one who can get him calmed down if he panics.   He usually has good reason."

"I'll remember that.  Anything else I should know?"

"We're still looking for the rest of the embryos.  There's up to a thousand missing and half of those are from people who aren't on our prior list.  We'll have to tell them, let them decide to have them destroyed or not, and then make sure it does happen.  Gibbs is in charge of that last part."  She nodded.  "If that's going to bother you, you can do the normal stuff.  Kate and I are working on that after hours and when we're not doing another case."

"I can help but I won't help exterminate them."

"That's fine.  Not asking you to," he assured her.  "Now, do you think you can help us this upcoming week?  It's going to be a long one without Tony there to pull his own weight and some of ours."

She nodded.  "I can help.  I'm still learning but I can help."

"Good."  He turned on the elevator and hit the button for their floor.  They walked off hearing the director screeching about how the elevator was not a personal conference room and Gibbs was corrupting others.  "If we had a private area that didn't have cameras, we wouldn't use it," McGee told her.  "Since some of the tech division had to come disable the ones in the men's room last month so you'd quit watching us pee, that's our only option."  He stared at her.  "By the way, I'm deeply offending that you were watching my private areas, Director, and I'm seriously thinking that that's harassment.  You're making for a very sexually charged and uncomfortable workplace."  She gaped then stomped off.  "Thank you for not staring at my ass any more."  He sat down, looking at Gibbs.  "She said she can help us search, boss, but she doesn't want in on the notification or afterwards."

"That's fine," Gibbs agreed.  "Don't swear at the director.  She can write you up or fire you for that, McGee."

"Yay," he said dryly.  "Do we know how Xander finds out what he finds out?"  Gibbs gave him a horrified look.  So McGee smiled.  "Danny found out."  He found the email and brought it over to hand to him.  "He found a good few out there.  They talk to their relatives.  Their relatives talk to other types.  They talk to each other, then some of those talk to Xander.  Danny's trying to learn their language so we can be hooked into that network as well, boss.  That way we can check on Xander in a more subtle manner."  He looked at him.

"We'll keep an eye on her," he said quietly.  "Thank you for the warning about the cameras."

"Not a problem, boss."  He went back to his seat and got back to work.  "Kate, Rupert resent those translated files."  He sent them to her and Ziva, who looked at it then got to work searching.  "Take the third one down, Ziva.  I've got the first, Kate can get the second.  That one's a lab and it's supposed to be secret."

"I'll ask around," she promised, looking at it then calling a friend.  "It's Ziva," she said quietly.  "Looking for a lab for NCIS."  She smiled.  "Yes, I just was told and asked to see if anyone I knew had any idea about where they're stored."   She made a note.  "Are you sure?"  She nodded. "Thank you."  She hung up and walked it over to Gibbs.  "They moved it when you found the children.  They're all there.  All eight-hundred and twelve that're left."

Gibbs smiled.  "Thank you.  McGee...."

"Already doing the warrant application, boss."  He sent it.  "Electronically faxed to the judge's office."  That got a nod.  "Where?"

"Up the road.  Alexandria."  McGee added that to the second form and faxed it as well.  Ten minutes later they had a faxed copy of the warrant back.  The judge over the Initiative hearings was only doing those until they were done.  They headed out to confiscate the rest of them.  Gibbs could fly them to Colorado later that night.

***

Tony walked into a precinct, looking around.  Gibbs had faxed him a list at his hotel.  He walked up the stairs to the detective's squad, smiling at them.  "Where's the Captain's office please?"

"New officer?" one of the older guys said.

"NCIS.  Fed."  They all stared.  He grinned.  "Some of you will be seeing me in a few minutes.  It's about some information we just found out, guys.  We're sharing.  I'm a messenger of doom."   One hand pointed so he knocked on the door before sticking his head in.  "Do you have about three hours to talk to a Federal agent?"

"Not really.  I'm due at a budget meeting in two.  Why?"

Tony walked in and shut the door.  "I'm Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, NCIS."

"I've heard your name in rumors recently attached to Taylor's lab."

"I'm the other father of Taylor's son Craig."  The captain gaped.  Tony nodded.  "I'm here to brief people who also have embryos in storage.  We found more but no more kids thankfully."

"Oh, damn.  Tell me it's not Munch."

He looked at his list.  "Munch and Stabler.  One listed as Tuttola?  I was told they're all here."

"They are.  No women?"

"They were military funded.  Even though they were headed by a woman she only went for the men."

"I'm not on there, right?"

"Nope."  He let him see the list.  "We've found over a thousand stored embryos.  I'm on notification duties because I stomped off to take a vacation."

"Want them all at once?"

"Up to you, Captain."

"Let's do this all at once.  Want to use in here?"

"Again, up to you.  Wherever they'll feel comfortable."  That got a nod and he went to gather them, taking them and Tony up to a room upstairs that had a couch and a few chairs.  Tony closed and locked the doors.  "Guys, I'm Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, NCIS."

"You're somehow part of Taylor's son's family," one said wisely.

Tony nodded.  "I'm his other father thanks to a special military research project that did it against our wills.  Not that Craig and my daughter aren't the best things ever to come out of a lab, but I wish I had known before hand."  He sat down facing them.  "I'm sure you can guess why I'm here?"

"To share baby pictures?" the African-American man asked.

Tony grinned.  "Don't you wish."  That got a groan from the older man.  He grinned.  "I got to homicide right after you left, Munch."  That got an evil smirk.  "Then Gibbs stole me."  He handed over the list.  "During the tracking down of the kids and the embryos this same insane group created, we found a secondary group.  They were going to breed the kids of my group with the kids of your group to get a second generation of great soldiers for the military.  We found your group in the last week."  He looked at each of them.  "On the list is how many you have, who  you were mixed with, and what sex they are.  They are in cold storage in Colorado, safely in the hands of a special project that *we* trust.  One of their people got hit in the first round."  That got a slow nod from the guy who hadn't spoken yet.  "That group has very high oversight.  People get very upset when you piss off that group.  Including the people who wanted to keep control of the embryos.  So they have them in cold storage.  You have the right to decide if they stay there or not or if you want them destroyed.  Like I said, I'm a messenger of doom."

"If we want to keep them?" that guy asked quietly.

"They can stay there.  If you want to use them,  you can tell one of us and we'll get in contact with them so you can have it as long as the other parent agrees.  It will not be destroyed unless both parents agree.  If one parent wants to destroy it and one doesn't, they'll be notified by someone and they can talk it out to come to an agreement."  He grinned.  "Like I said, I love my kids but I'm keeping my other seventeen in cold storage in case I want one later.  It's the man I am.  I'm not going to make a judgement call.  I'm not here to pressure you.  That is my director."  They all nodded at that.  "Which is why we have Presidential permission to come tell you this even though the project has been closed and the people are presently going through various trials and going to jail slowly but in a quick manner."  He handed over three forms.  "On the top is the direct fax number to my boss.  He'll send them to that other group so they have it on file and can do whatever."

Munch looked at the list.  "I have four listed."  He looked at them.  "Harris?"

"Xander Harris, formerly of Sunnydale.  The group hated him but considered him a stable base to test other personalities against.  They mixed him with CSI, scientists, and a few uber geeks to see what would come out best for them.  Right now he's got four and another he adopted because the parents couldn't take care of her from the primary group."

"This is a joke right," Fin asked.

Tony shook his head. "Nope.  Wish it was even though I love my kids.  I adore my kids, but I wish I'd had some say in it."

"What group?" John asked.

"They were called the Initiative.  They were out in Sunnydale too.  Mr. Harris and his friends took them down twice.  The first time they had a friend."

"I heard of them."

Tony smiled.  "Then you probably heard about Buffy?"  John shuddered but nodded.  "Xander was her gear guy."

"Oh, damn."

"He moved to Georgia after retiring.  His people are working out of Cheyenne with that special program and Doctor Jackson.  His people have the embryos."

"'Nuff said," Munch told him.  "Guys, I've heard of that other group.  They're good guys. They're the sort to stand up to NID and others."

"They have in the past," Tony agreed.  "They probably will be again."

"So what do you want from us?" Elliot Stabler asked.

"I'm here to notify you, let you make  your own decision, and to play with my son.  I walked off to take a vacation and got assigned this task.  This is all I have to do unless you have questions."

Elliot took the list, looking it over.  He looked at him.  "This is real?"  Tony pulled out his wallet and handed over pictures.  Including one of him and Xander with their daughter.  "She's cute."

"She is, but she's greedy and begs," Tony said with a small grin.  "Always wants to be the center of attention."  He put his wallet back.  "It's up to you.  I can answer any questions you want.  I can put you in touch with Gibbs.  No one's asking you to make a decision today.  They're frozen.  They'll stay good for eternity at this point."

"Will the military be wanting them back?"

"That's why we set them with this group.  They're not getting them back, even those who want to use them or see this as a positive."

"Like the Nazi's doing most of the foundation for organ transplants.  Evil men doing evil things that had some good."

"I loathe them just as much as you do, John.  I'm working with someone from the Mossad at the moment."  That got a small smirk.  "The director assigned her."

"Do you want to get rid of her?" John asked.

"Don't tempt me."

John smirked and looked at the list again.  "I don't really want kids."

"I don't make that decision for anyone, guys."  He stood up.  "If you have questions I'm at the Ramada in lower Manhattan.  If not, then I'm still there for the rest of the week."

"Just like that?" Stabler asked.

Tony looked at him.  "I'm not going to rush you.  You have all the time you need to think, find me, and talk.  Our number's on there too.  Gibbs' personal number that he forwards to his cellphone.  He handled finding the kids and getting the parents last time."

"We can talk about this?" the captain asked.

"Not outside.  Within the group yes.  To the general public, no.  They made us sign hush agreements.  The director brokered it."  They shared a look.  "They're on the fast track to jail.  There's one judge handling all of the cases so they don't have to get others too deeply involved in the covert actions of this one group.  Most of them took deals to turn on the higher ups.  Their trials are taking longer.  We've already got almost half in jail.  The rest are waiting for their moments."

"Then what?" Elliot asked.

"Depends on what you decide," Tony told him.  "If you decide to have them destroyed, that's all there is.  If not, then you have time to think, make later choices, all that stuff."  That got a nod.  "That's your copy of the list since I only put your names on it.  Talk if you need to.  Call us if you need to.  Take as much time as you want."  They all nodded.  "Sorry to have ruined your day, guys."  He left them alone, going to bug Mac and Don for his son again.

Elliot looked at Munch.  "You knew about this?"

"Not about *this*.  This was probably a hobby of the person in charge.  Their main focus was to torture strange beings so they'd be military cannon fodder."  That got a sigh.  "Sorry but it was.  I can find video files if you want."  He looked at the names then picked up the paper to make his own choice.  He knew what he wanted.  He got up.  "If you need me to find information, let me know, guys.  Or come talk to me if you need to."  He left them alone.

"I've got to tell the wife," Elliot told his boss.

"You probably shouldn't tell her the details if there's a hush agreement and secret trials.  Someone might show up."

"We heard rumors someone came to beat up on the Chief of Detectives and IAB because someone asked Taylor where his son came from," Fin reminded them.  "Looks like we know why."  He took the list back, looking at the listing under his name.  He knew the guy and signed his over immediately.  Him and Munch would make a horrible child who'd be warped and couldn't dance.  He looked at Elliot.  "If you need to talk, yell my way, man."  He left.

"What am I supposed to tell her?"

"If you have to, let Tony explain," the captain suggested, standing up.  "Like he said, you don't have to decide today, Elliot."  He left him alone to think.

Elliot looked at the list again then went to find his wife and talk to her.  She smiled from behind her desk.  "You done for the day?"

"Nearly.  Why?"

"We have to talk."

"A bad talk?"

He put down the list, glancing around her classroom.  Then back at her.  "Someone decided to do genetic experiments," he said quietly.  "They found my name on the embryo list."  She gaped.  "They're giving me the choice to keep them in storage or have them destroyed.  They're already putting the people who did it in jail.  I thought we should talk."

She grimaced but nodded.  "We should."

He relaxed.  "There's a guy in town who came to let us know.  If we need to he said we could interrupt his visitation with his son to ask him questions."  She looked at the list, then stared at him.  "I don't know."

"Then we'll see him," she agreed calmly.  "What do they want you to do?"

"Make up my mind sometime soon.  They're not pushing either way.  Someone higher up is but not them.  He was honest about who it was too."

"Who has them?"

"A different military group that John's heard of and swore is straight and honest.  They won't use them if I tell them not to."  She smiled and nodded at that.  "I wanted you to know, even though we're having problems."

"Thank you, Elliot."  She patted his hand.  "Call him?"

"He's at the Ramada Lower Manhattan.  He's got visitation with his own son who came from these same people.  His boss is the one who found them and told the first run of the group."

She patted his hand again. "We'll go talk to him tonight."  He smiled and nodded. "Let me

finish this up and we'll go."  She got back to grading papers for the next day.

***

Tony walked back into work, seeing the uneasy looks aimed his way.  "Boss, did I get fired?" he asked when he made it to his desk.

"No, DiNozzo.  The director's missing."

"Yeah, got a call about that."  He handed over the message.  "Xander said it wasn't him, he didn't ask, he didn't suggest, he didn't even talk to that one.  That one likes him because she's dangerous and wants to mate with and then kill him but she's scared of his kids."  He sat down behind his desk.  "He has no idea if she's alive or not.  He's trying to figure that out."

"Interesting."  He looked over the message then at him.  "How did he hear?"

"One of his contacts called him and told him that it was done to awe and inspire him toward lust for her."  He grinned.  "Xander said he groaned, said thank you for the warning, and then went to bang his head against the wall until Catty stopped him.  She called him mean."

Gibbs smiled a bit and nodded.  "He was being mean to himself.  You did tell him he's not allowed to date her?"

"He said he was in hiding in case she showed up.  It proved his former dating streak hadn't ended yet."  Ziva gave him a confused look.  "The only ones attracted to Xander are deadly in some way.  This proves it."

"The being who took the director?"

Tony shrugged.  "He's trying to find out.  If he can, he'll tell us.  If he can't he'll tell us."  He got onto his computer, finding an anonymous thank you card.  He sent the link to Gibbs, who groaned and went to beat whoever had sent it to thank Tony for knocking up Xander and making some thing so jealous that it had to take out the reason he had been able to be knocked up.  To him it sounded like Abby babble but you never knew.  It could've been Palmer.

"Thank you card?" Kate asked.  Tony sent her the link, making her smile and laugh.  "Cute card.  Do it again?"

"Do we really want me to have *another* child, Kate?"

"No, two's enough," she said quickly.  "Please?"

"Fine.  Even though the evil psycho bitch apparently wanted Xander to rule the world for some reason."

"Proves she was dangerous if she liked him," McGee quipped.

Tony smirked.  "I didn't think of that.  Thank you, Probie.  You can tell him that."

"I already emailed it to him, Tony."

Gibbs came stomping back.  "Abby swore she didn't do it."

"Palmer, boss?" McGee asked.

Gibbs looked at him.  "He's not that bad.  Ducky would stop him."

"Ducky's off yesterday and today, boss," McGee said.

Gibbs went to see if it was him and the rest of them got back to work.

***

Xander smiled at Eric when he showed up.  "Can you watch them overnight?  I have to go rescue Tony's director from a demon."

"Can't your friends?"

"They're in a  classified location working with the military on something important.  Besides, this one did it because she wanted to impress me enough that I'd sleep with her."

"So she's dangerous?"

"Yup and she's already had the director for a full two days."

"Sure, I can stay overnight," he agreed with a smile.  "Anything I should know?"  Xander handed over the schedule he worked from.  "Thanks.  Go."

"Thank you."  He grabbed two bags and a backpack, looking up.  "Hey, Cordy, can you get the thingy to work yet?" he called.  He disappeared in a fizzle of light.

"That's cool," Eric said.  "Even if it was created by an  unholy thing."  He went to check on the napping kids, finding Liam up and staring at his ponies on his walls.  "Hi, Liam."  The baby looked at him and smiled.  "I'm here all night to babysit with Catty.  Want to come sit with us?"  The baby got out of bed and let him pick him up so they could play together.  He was very gentle with his sisters.  "Maybe we'll call Daddy later.  He could use cheered up this week."

"Dada?" Liam asked, poking him until he got another smile.  "Dada?"

"Sure, we'll call Daddy."  He dialed his cellphone, letting him have it.

"Dada!" Liam squealed, babbling noise at him.  Down in Miami Horatio smiled and walked away from the press conference the Mayor was holding, now in a much better mood.

"Welcome," Eric called loudly enough to be heard.

***

Xander walked the crying, clutching woman into the NCIS building, looking at a guard.  "I found her.  I think she belongs to someone here.  Can you call him so he can repossess his bitch?"

The guard gaped.  "Who're you!"

"I'm the one who rescued her from the person who took her, dipshit.  Call Gibbs.  Now."  He added a small growl at the end and the guard dove to do that.  Gibbs could handle him.  Gibbs and Kate came off the elevator a minute later.  "I believe you lost your puppy.  She needs better location tags."  He handed her over, having to pry her hands off his arm.

"The...person who had her?" Gibbs asked.

"Paid off.  I needed it anyway.  It was ...decent.  Better than Faith and Cordy, worse than Anya."  He shrugged. "She doesn't want me anymore.  I'm out of her system."  He waved at the director.  "Go take a nap," he said, talking to her like he would his kids.  She nodded and clutched Gibbs' arm.  "Sorry but I wasn't about to inflict her on Tony."  He walked off.

"Xander, what's in the bags?" Kate asked.  He now had three bags and a backpack.

Xander grinned.  "I'm not commenting on the bags because I don't want to hear the lectures, but they will be hidden by the time any of you could get to Georgia."  He waved and disappeared in the same fizzle of light.

"How did he do that?" Kate asked.

"I don't want to know," Gibbs told her.  "Come on, Jen.  We'll go see Ducky."  She burst out in a wail about not being dead.  "No, you're not dead, but he'll call the paramedics and do any triage until they get here."  They ended up carrying her to the elevator and to the morgue.  "Ducky, she's out of it."

"Come into my office, Director.  I have some lovely tea."  He walked her that way, getting her some tea and checking her over for obvious injuries.  Gibbs called the paramedics while he and Kate worked to get her calmed down.  It didn't work and the paramedics got another wail of crying.

"Quit!" Gibbs snapped.  She got down to sniffling, staring at him.  "You were kidnaped, we're taking you to be checked over, Jen.  Calm down.  You're home now.  Xander found  you and rescued you."

"Did you know he was a good guy?" she asked in a childish voice.

He nodded.  "I did."  He helped get her onto the gurney, following them.  "Come on, I'll go with you so you're not alone at the hospital."  She nodded, clutching his hand.

"Other side please, Agent Gibbs," the lead paramedic said.  "That way she doesn't have to drop it once you're inside the ambulance."  Gibbs nodded, switching sides.  She kept staring at him.  "Here we go, ma'am."  They got her loaded and off.

Kate went upstairs.  "What did he do to her?"

"The demon was a Xander worshiper.  She was singing songs to him, had a shrine.  There's no telling what the thing that had her did to her according to Xander.  He said he didn't see anything that directly spoke of torture but the demon did have the ability to read minds.  I've already called Gibbs to tell him that.  She all right?  That's too evil for my tastes."

"She's clinging to Gibbs and sounding like she's five, Tony.  She might not be okay."

Tony nodded, heading up the stairs to the director's office. "Cynthia?"  The secretary's head popped up.  "Xander just found her, he brought her back.  Gibbs is with her at the hospital but she's sounding like she's gone a bit mental at the moment.  Xander said he didn't see any signs of overt torture so it would've been all mental screwing."

She nodded.  "Think she'll be okay?"

"Kate said she was clinging to Gibbs and talking like she was five."

"I'll tell the other directors she's been found and is in the hospital, we suspect mental torture attempts then.  Thank you for letting me know."

"Least I could do."

"The person who had her?"

"I don't know what Xander did to rescue her."

"Who's Xander?  Is he in another office?"

Tony grinned.  "He's the other father of my daughter in Georgia."

"Oooh, him.  I heard about him and how he renegotiated the hush agreement."  Tony nodded.  "Thanks, Tony.  Let me know if you need help."

"We have Ziva, we can shift jobs on our current case."  He smiled and left again.  He stood on the walkway.  "People!" he yelled.  Everyone on the floor looked at him.  "The director has been found.  She was just taken to the ER."  He saw money being handed over.  "She's with Gibbs.  We'll pass out updates as we have them."  That got a nod.  "Go back to business as usual."   He walked back down to his desk, sitting down again.  "Okay.  Kate, what do you have?"

"Still nada.  You?"

"I have a tenuous connection.  They went to the same dance club twice.  Probie?"

"Not a thing, Tony," he admitted.  "Ziva?"

"How did Xander find her when my contacts couldn't?"

"Xander has a lot of underground contacts," Tony told her.  "He used some."  He smiled.  "Do you have anything on the case?"

"No, I can't find either of them.  They could be unrelated."

"All but the fact they were seen driving off in the same car," Tony told her.  "So unless one kidnaped the other for whatever reason they're connected somehow.   What about their jobs?"

"It's departments that talk often but both bosses said they weren't the ones talking," Kate told him.

Tony sighed and nodded.  "We'll find it and them.  Anything on the BOLO, Probie?"

"Nope.  Not yet."

"Damn it, where are they?"  They got back to work.  Someone brought Tony a small stack of money, earning a smile.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  How did you know whoever Xander is was going to find her?"

"The person who took the director wanted his attention and body."  He grinned.  "Xander got tired of it and snapped."  She looked confused.  "Xander's the other father of my daughter Rebecca."  He tapped the top of her picture.

"Oh!" she said, nodding.  "Inside information?"

"I wasn't sure if he'd call it in or not.  That's why I placed both bets," he said with a grin.  She walked off shaking her head.  He counted the money and put it into his wallet.  "I've got to send my kids presents."  He got back to work.

"Shameless," Kate muttered.  She looked over.  "He said she doesn't want him after *having* him.  She was worse than someone named Anya and better than someone named Cordy and someone named Faith."

Tony shrugged.  "He hasn't had any in a while.  Not like he's dating, Kate."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"It's not like I physically knocked him up."  Ziva choked.  "Sorry."  He grinned at Kate again.  "If it made him feel better and kept him from being killed, I'm not going to comment.  I'm sure he didn't bring the kids since Eric sent out an email that he was babysitting for Xander last night."

She shook her head, getting back to work.

***

Stan drove up to the gate and got out, looking at the silent guard there.  "Is Doctor Jackson around?"

"Not at the moment, sir.  Why?"

"I'm his baby's other daddy.   I'm here to hand off the kids for a few days."

"Oh.  Um."  He considered what had been sent up earlier in gossip.  "I think Doctor Carter is in."

Stan grinned.  "She's the really smart blonde lady, right?"  The guard smirked and nodded.  "Can you call her for us?"

"Sure.  Go ahead and park, sir.  It'll take a few."  Stan nodded and did that while he called downstairs.  "Doctor Carter, sir, there's a man here who says he's the other father of Doctor Jackson's baby and he's here to hand him off for a few days?"  He listened to her confused noises.  "That's what he said, sir.  At the gate, yes, sir."  He nodded.  "That might be best.  I didn't think he was here."  He hung up when Stan came back.  "Colonel O'Neill is here, sir."

"Oh, cool.  Jack knows."  He smiled and relaxed. "I'm getting death threats."  The guard gave him a horrified look.  "I'm a cop."

"I'm so sorry."

"Me too so it's better if Wyatt's with his daddy."  Jack came trotting out.  "Seen the news recently?"

"About your bomber, yeah.  What's up?"

"They're targeting me.  Got my former apartment since I haven't changed my address on the forms.  Got my former station.  Nearly got the car.  Nearly got Vecchio and his car.  Vecchio's out for blood and so are *both* Mounties since the guy made a feint toward the boys.  So think I could drop 'em off for a bit?"

"Sure.  Got a stroller or somethin'?"

"Yup, in the trunk."  He let him unhitch the boys while he pulled out the stroller, diaper bag, and suitcase.  "Thanks, Jack."

"Not an issue, Stan.  We want the boys to be safe and you can't catch the idiot while you're worrying about them."  He let him hug them both.  "Come on, guys.  Let's go bug the daddy."  Richard sniffled.  "No, don't do that," Jack sighed, giving Stan a look.  Richard got another hug and his favorite bear was found.  "Thank you."  He waved.  "Say bye.  Let's let daddy watch you guys."  Wyatt beamed and waved.  "Good boy, Wyatt, showing your daddy's brains already."  He grinned at Stan.  "Be safe."

"I'm tryin'.  Thanks, Jack.  Don't do anything bad around 'em, okay?  I know you and Danny get inta trouble.  Xander's friends locally said you guys get nearly as much action as he used ta.  Just not around them?"

"Not around them.  Not this week anyway."  He grinned.  "Don't worry.  I'll make Sam attack anyone who comes near 'em."

"Thanks."  He shook his hand and got back into the car, letting Jack head back inside the base.

The airman guarding the elevator scowled.  "They do not belong here."

"One's Doctor Jackson's son.  Shut up."  He signed them both in, even though it seemed silly someone would complain if he didn't, then he got them onto the elevator to go downstairs.  He came off and found the General waiting on him.  "That bomber's after Wyatt's other father."

"How did he know to come here?

"Danny told him he's working with a language and decoding group that works out of one of the sub-basements around here."

"I guess that's plausible and nearly the truth without getting into classified territory."  He smiled at the boys.  "Who's the other one?"

"Richard.  Stan's with some other guy who ran off really quickly according to Danny.  Sam!"  She looked over.  "Find Danny."

"He's with Teal'c across the gate."  Wyatt let out a wail.  "He'll be right back, Wyatt."  She went to check on them and send a message through to Daniel.  They came running back with people shooting at them and then Wyatt quit screaming.  "The boys are here.  That bomber is apparently after Stanley."

"Charming," Daniel said. "By the way, they think blond men are unholy and blonde women are only for sex slaves."

"We'll make sure only dark haired ones go there," the general said over the intercom.

"They consider them general purpose slaves.  Only redheads, sir."  He came out, smiling at the boys.  "Hi, Rich, hi, Wyatt."  They both smiled so he gave them a hug.  "Ooh, Daddy's missed you both.  Come on, we'll go gum on an artifact or two while Daddy writes a report."  He walked the stroller that way.

"Please tell me you didn't adopt off-world," someone joked.

"Nah, the military decided I needed a family so someone made me one," Daniel joked back.  "The other's my stepson with his other daddy."  That got a few gapes from the people in the hall.  He grinned.  "Like I'd ever have kids the normal way."  They all shuddered and left him alone with the kids, his artifacts, the books that Richard wanted read to him, and Giles when he came in.  "Rupert, this is Richard, the older one, and Wyatt."

"Charmed, boys," he said with a smile, patting them on the head.  "Have we heard anything from Xander?"

"I got an email with pictures the other day.  I passed them onto Tara."  He grinned at him.  "Can you read Richard something so I can write this report?"

"Of course."  He picked a book in Ancient and sat down in front of the stroller, getting instant attention and affection from the boys.  Daniel smiled and got to work on his report, only correcting Giles on a word now and then.  He was still learning Ancient and it was a hard language.  "We should send Buffy and Willow pictures of you two as well as Xander's new ones."

Daniel grinned at him.  "They think the world's going to end because I have a son.  One joked it must be the end of days this time for real because Stan's a trouble magnet, I seem to draw a bit too, so he'll be worse."

"If he ever turns out as bad as you do, Danny, I'm sending him to Atlantis so Sheppard can straighten him out.  Because I'll be in the ground by then.  Permanently."  Jack walked off again.

"Drama queen," Danny muttered, going back to his report, making Giles laugh and nod.  "He's worse than I am."

"Yes, but he has his clone."

Danny grinned.  "Who's even worse than he is.  I caught him hitting on girls the other day."

"I heard that.  He'd better not have!" Jack yelled.

"Then you need to talk to him about that stuff, Jack.  He scored too."

Jack simply moaned and went to find his young clone.  Though he did warn everyone to warn him if any aliens showed up, even the friendly ones, because they'd want to take Danny's boys too.  He knew they would.  Even Sam got gooey over the boys.  It was a clear sign they were going to continue Daniel's fine tradition of being kidnaped.

***

Xander walked up the porch stairs, finding Horatio there too.  "Hi."

"Where did you go?"

"To save Tony's director.  The demon who had her wanted my body."  He shrugged.  "She's not in great mental shape but she's alive."  That got a nod.  "Was Liam a problem?"

"Miami's been a problem," Horatio admitted.

Xander nodded.  "You know, I told you guys you could build a cabin on the other side of the property and stay there, Horatio.  That goes for vacations too."  That got a smile and a small nod.  "The kids do okay for Eric?"

"They were fine," Eric said from the living room.  "You've done great fixing this place up, Xander."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Good job."  He gave him a short hug.  "Catty's decided Liam's hair is her new favorite toy.  I don't know why since she used to hate red hair."

"If he doesn't mind.  He scowls at Rebecca when she tries it."

"So do I when women play with mine," Horatio joked.  Xander grinned at him and went into the kitchen.  "We went grocery shopping at the bigger store."

"That's fine.  I usually try to stay in town."  He looked out the window.  "Whoo-hoo!  The tomatoes are nearly ready to pick!"

Eric smiled but shook his head.  "Few more weeks, Xander."  He smiled at the kids playing in front of him.  "Want to hug the other daddy?"

"Dada!" Liam yelled.  Xander came back to hug them all, earning smiles.  Liam kissed him too.  "Wuv!"

"I love you guys too, Liam."  He kissed him on the head.  "Be good for two more minutes so I can unload the bag, okay?"  The babies all cuddled in together again and Xander drug his bags upstairs before coming back down.  Then he got down onto the rug with the kids to play and cuddle with them.  "It was a long night without you guys sneaking into bed with me.  I was almost surprised when I got to roll over."  Rachel beamed and waved, patting him.  "Love you too, Rachel."  She giggled and patted Liam's hair, earning a scowl.  She did it anyway, she wasn't scared of her brother.  He could only pout at her.  Daddy would stop him if he hit her.  He swatted her and daddy swatted him so it was good and she got to play with his hair again.  Even though the other daddies took her hand out of his hair.  "It's an ongoing war about messing up Liam's hair," Xander told them.  He heard a car and looked out the window.  "That's Don and Selene."  He waved and went back to cuddling.  "Look, guys, we're all here!"  They all beamed when Selene came toddling through the door.  "Oooh, you're walking!" he cooed, picking her up to cuddle her.  "Daddy missed you."

Selene beamed then sucked on his nose.  "She's been good too," Don promised.  "Just learned the other day."  He smiled at Horatio and Eric.  "Here to give back or repossess?"

"Vacation," Horatio told him.

"Bringing Catty back," Eric said.

"Horatio, if you wanted to bring Liam back you could," Xander reminded him.  "I don't want to be sworn at by your sister-in-law again about you having a baby but you can take him back to Miami if you wanted to."

"If I'm in Miami they'll try to get me back to work," Horatio said grimly.  "She called to swear at you?"

"That you had a son."

Eric coughed.  "Frank heard her.  It was taking away from you helping her and her son.  It was a burden on you that you didn't need.  How dare Xander say the baby was yours, it couldn't be because he was a man also, and on and on."

"I got most of that straightened out, Xander."  Xander pointed at the answering machine so he went to listen, growling at it.  "I'll straighten her out again."  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Thank you for letting me know."

"Welcome.  Like I said, build a cabin off by the trees or put a used trailer out there.  Come sit and cuddle in, Don."  He got down to play with the kids.  "Were they okay, Eric?"

"They were fine.  They pouted about bath time last night.  They went down after a few stories and kept staring out the window to find you earlier.  They didn't cry because you left."

"The last time I had to mow I put them in daycare for the day.  They wailed all day until the church's nice older grandma ladies stepped in.  They like daycare every now and then now."  They all smiled at that.  "How's Stan?  I haven't heard from him in the last few days."

"Not a clue.  The city's had a problem recently and it looked like it was going to make him do more work," Eric told him.   Xander nodded at that.  "You could call."

"I don't want to interrupt him if he's working and I don't want to wake Wyatt or Richard up after hours either."

"Call, it'll probably make him feel better if he knows he can come visit for stress relief," Horatio told him.  He called on his cellphone.  "Stanley, Horatio Caine.  We were wondering how you and the boys were."  He smiled, nodding.  "We'd heard and Xander was a bit worried.  No, he's still here in Georgia.  He said you could come down with the boys if you wanted to.  Daniel does?  What happened?"  He listened then nodded slowly.  "Can you catch them?"  He nodded faster.  "Whatever your people think is best but he does have a nice farmhouse to relax at.  Of course.  He can come down, right, Xander?"

"Yup, bring the boys," Xander called.

Horatio smiled back.  "He said he'll do that once they catch the bomber who wants to blow him up."  He walked outside to talk to him about the case.  He came in twenty minutes later.  "I think I sparked a lead for him to track down.  He said after this he's bringing both boys down once he gets them back from Daniel."  He settled in to play with the kids, smiling when Liam came over to be protected.  "I won't let the girls play with your hair, son.  It's all right."  He smiled at Selene, who reached for Liam's hair.  He played with hers back and she pouted.  "He doesn't like it either, Selene."  She pounced Catty and cuddled in to hug her and nap on her.

"That's fine, we can nap.  Napping is good for babies," Xander promised, patting backs.  He smiled at them.  "I'll get to work on cabin plans."  That got a nod.  "What do you guys think about putting in a pond?"

"It's a lot of digging," Eric told him.  "Plus how would you fill it?"

"We have city water and a well," Xander told him.  That got a nod.  "So I could."

"Remember to call the utility companies before you dig, Xander," Horatio warned.  "We don't want to see you electrocuted."  He nodded at that, still smiling.  "Can we stay?"

"There's three spare bedrooms and futons in each of the kids' rooms for you guys.  Watch out, they will sneak out of bed and come visit.  Especially Liam and Rebecca."  That got another nod and Don went to bring his stuff inside.  He got up and headed for the kitchen.  "What am I making for lunch?"

"I can do that," Don offered.  "My fair share of the chores," he said with a grin.  Xander shrugged and let him do it.  It was comfortable here.  No stresses other than the kids.

***

Stan parked and got out, walking over to the gate.  "Hi, I'm Detective Stanley Kowalski," he said, holding up his ID.  He got given an odd look.  "I'm Wyatt's other daddy.  Is Daniel here?  Doctor Jackson?"  It'd taken a few weeks but they had caught the bomber, finally.  Now he could have the boys back.  He didn't sleep well with them out of his sight.

"Yeah.  Are you related to the guy who works here, sir?"

"Don't know."  He shrugged.  "Never met 'im probably."

"Just wondering, we have a Kowalski on staff."  He called downstairs.  "O'Neill, there's a Detective Kowalski here for his son Wyatt?"  He listened then hung up.  "He said Wyatt's busy with the doc at the moment but if you wanted to go to your hotel they'd bring him to you in about an hour."

"That's fine.  I didn't expect to be let onto a classified base."  He grinned at the guy coming out.  "Hey, Jack."

"Stan."  He shook his hand.  "Danny's getting them examined by our docs.  Wyatt's had a bit of a sniffle."

"That's fine.  I didn't expect to go down and get them."  That got a smirk.  "I'm vacationing away from the bomber who we finally caught.  I'm tired of Chicago."

"You could switch to Boulder or Denver's department," Jack pointed out.  "That way you're closer to him.  Danny could use more visitation."

Stan looked at him.  "Danny said he hardly ever makes it off base."

"He does when he's got Wyatt, we make sure of it most of the time," Jack told him.

Stan nodded. "I'm thinking about it.  That and heading down to work where Xander is because he said it's nice, small, no mad bombing cops, nothing like that."

"Mad, bombing cops?" Jack asked.  Stan nodded. "The same reason you gave him Wyatt and Rich?"

"Yeah.  I'm at the Motor Lodge.  Bring 'em home for me please?"

"We can do that.  Give us about an hour," Jack said.  Stan nodded and headed back to his car.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  Just tired."  He slid in to drive, heading back to his room and the cribs.

Jack hurried back down there and back through the gate to the new planet.  "Danny!  Stan just showed up!" he called.

"I heard.  I'm getting Rich cleaned up now," he promised, smiling at the native woman helping him.  Then he put on the double backpack carrier and his pack, heading back through the gate.  "Heading to hand back the kids," he announced.

"He's at the Motor Lodge," Hammond told him, patting both boys on the head.  "Thank you for letting the natives gush, boys.  It made things nicer this time."

Danny smiled and headed off, dropping his bag in his office.  The doctor looked them over quickly then he headed out.  Stan came out to meet him, picking up Richard to cuddle, getting hugged back.  "He was good as gold, Stan.  He was very helpful."

"What's with the sniffles and why do you smell like rose oil?"

"One of the people I work with was cuddling him and she was wearing it."

"Ah."  He switched off, taking Wyatt to cuddle.  "My boys."  Wyatt kissed him on the cheek and snuggled in.  "C'mon in."

"You could stay at my place, Stan."

"You're a busy guy doing whatever with the stars, Danny."  He led them back into his hotel room, letting the boys down.  They both pounced him to cuddle.  "Awww, you're crawling, Wyatt.  I'm so proud!  Ma'll give you so many cookies for that."  He gave them both another cuddle now that he could hold them both.  "Thanks."

"Not a problem.  Did you get the bomber?"

"Another cop," Stan said quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"S'm I.  He wanted Wyatt for himself."  He looked at him.  "We found 'im.  We had a screaming match.  Benny pulled me off when I hit 'im.  It felt good but I'm on two week suspension."

"It's a good time for a vacation," Daniel agreed.  "I should probably get back.  Have dinner tomorrow night if I can?"  Stan beamed and nodded.  "I'll see you then.  You have clothes and things, right?  I didn't stop at the house."

"Yeah, I got stuff.  Don't worry 'bout it."  Danny smiled and got up, leaving him with the boys.  He smiled at them.  "I'm so proud.  You were good boys for Daddy Danny."  He turned on cartoons and let them cuddle for now.  It was comforting after the week he'd had.  Maybe he'd take Xander up on his offer of a vacation down there too.  They'd like to play with the other kids he was sure.

***

Once everyone was home again, Xander got to looking at some of his pasture land.  Then at the poor pony who still wouldn't go back into the barn.  Then back at the pasture land.  She was always running out of water.  A pond would be nice.  He might get to swim in it.  He considered it then decided to take the kids to daycare.  Two hours later he called the local town cops.  "Hi, it's Harris out at the Ferguson farm.  If you get reports of a bang, don't worry, it's just me and everything's all right."  He grinned at the confused noise he got.  "No, I'm doing something and one of the neighbors might complain.  Fair warning that it's all right and all good."  He hung up and went back to his plotting.

Two hours later, the local Sheriff got a call.   "Sheriff  Di.....  Explosion?  Was it at the Ferguson place?"  He nodded.  "No, he called, said he was doing something.  He said not to worry about it but I'll go check on the boy."  He hung up and got up, grabbing his hat on the way out to his truck.  That boy was just strange.   He made it there about twenty minutes later, finding the boy looking at a slowly filling crater.  "Boy, what did you do?" he called as he walked over.

Xander grinned.  "We needed a pond."

The sheriff looked at him.  "Son, I know you're a bit strange...."  He looked at the hole.  "You blew a hole in the pasture to make a pond?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "That Gibbs boy said you knew weapons but really, boy."

"Gibbs is, like, in his forties," Xander said, looking a bit confused.

The Sheriff looked at him.  "I'm old enough to be his daddy, son.  I can call him and you both a boy."  He looked out there then at him.  "Looks like you got down to the water table at least."

"Yeah and I have a well too," Xander said happily.  The Sheriff sighed and shook his head.  "I needed a pond.  The pony needs the water and won't go into the barn.  Half the time I can't find her to give her buckets of water.  Besides, the kids'll like it."

"Where are your little heathens?"

"The church's daycare," he said with a bright grin.  "Plus hey, less to mow."

"Uh-huh."  He watched pond half-fill with water.  "It's a bit low."

"It'll get topped off with the rain that's coming."

"It's not supposed to rain."

"My arms hurt, it's going to rain," Xander assured him.  He grinned again.  "I was very careful.  I called the utility people so I could mark where things were back when I first got the place.  I thought about building a vacation cabin for the kids' other fathers on the other side of the property.  What do you think?"

"I think it'd be better if you marry and settle down so you have someone to watch over you, boy.   You're clearly dangerous."  He looked at him.  "Do you have more explosives?"  Xander just grinned.  "How did you make enough for this?"

"I'm very experienced in explosives but not the small applications.  I do big applications very well."

"Uh-huh.  I can see that."  He walked off shaking his head.  "You know, the grocer's daughter Mary is single."

"Only deadly women like me," Xander called after him.  "Then they try to kill me.  I can't let them around the kids.  But thanks anyway."

"I'll watch out for that then," he muttered.

"Oh, Sheriff?"  The older man turned to look at him.  "I've been being stalked by Rachel what's-her-name from the next town over.  You might want to check on her.  She left me a dead squirrel the other day as a present.  I wasn't sure if she meant it to be part of a romantic dinner or as a warning that she liked me."

"Knowing that girl, it's possible," he sighed.  Now he knew what the boy meant by deadly women liking him.  On his way back to the office he stopped at the local church to talk to the reverend.  She went there.  "The Harris boy just made himself a pond with explosives."  The boy's son cackled and beamed at him.  "Like that idea, Liam?"  The baby nodded.  "You're just as strange as your daddy is."  He looked at the horrified looking pastor again.  "Also, he said Rachel's been courting him.  Left him a dead squirrel last time.  He wasn't sure if she meant it as a romantic dinner or not.  Claims only deadly women like him."

"I'll talk with her," he promised.

"Good, I'm gonna call that Gibbs boy.  Maybe he can make Harris calm down before he adds more depth to his new pond.  He hit into his well."  He walked off shaking his head.  The kid and his kids were seriously wrong in the head.  He wondered why he wasn't drawing a check yet.  He found the card that nice DiNozzo boy had left him for emergencies with the boy or the farm, calling it.  "DiNozzo, let me talk to that nice Gibbs boy please.  Sheriff Dinwitty."  He waited.

***

Tony held out his phone.  "Gibbs, it's the sheriff where Xander lives.  He wants to talk to that nice Gibbs boy.  I'm assuming that's you," he said with a smirk.  He got a smack for it and the phone being taken so he could get back to work.

"Gibbs," he said, walking off for privacy.  "I remember you, Sheriff Dinwitty.  What's wrong?"  He listened to the whole story, fighting the urge to rub his forehead.  "I'll talk to Xander.  No, he's not drawing that sort of check.  He's drawing one for the kids from the people who made them for him.  Yeah, them.  I figured someone had noticed it was a military pension check.  I'll talk to him about going on disability for mental issues after I'm done yelling.  He hurt anyone?  That's good at least.  Thank you for letting me know."  He hung up and handed back the phone then went to the truck to call Horatio from his phone first.  "We have got to go over Xander's house again, Caine.  Because the boy just created a pond with explosives."  Horatio paused for a second then burst out laughing.  "The local Sheriff called.  The kids were in daycare, the house is still standing and looked fine, but he's got a good sized pond that broke into his well.  No, I want to beat the boy.  I think between us we can clean the house of further weapons and send them to Rosenburg since apparently she needs them.  Meet you there in two days, yeah.  Thanks.  In the middle of one.  That's fine.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "DiNozzo, we're going to Georgia.  You're to keep Xander occupied and contained while we search the house for weapons."

"Sure, boss, why?" he called back, still working.

"He just used explosives to create a pond."

Tony stood up, turning to stare at him.  "He did what!"

"Rebecca and the others were in daycare.  He wanted a pond.  He blew a pond.  It's deep enough it hit his well.  Caine and I are going to clean the house of weapons in two days.  You're to keep the boy with you."

"He was talking about needing a pond for the pony and to swim in," Tony said, slowly shaking his head.  "Huh?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Is that why the Sheriff called?"  Gibbs nodded again.  "Is the house standing?"

"He said the house was perfectly fine.  He did it out in one of the further pastures."

Tony sighed and nodded, coming over to bang his head on the side of the van.  "Should I maybe bring Rebecca home for a bit?"

"He said the boy's fine and happy.  The kids were in daycare.  He wanted to know why Xander wasn't on a disability check yet.  Oh, he did warn us that there's been a woman down there to get his attention.  She left him a dead squirrel."  He stood up.  "Back to work."

"Let me have a few more minutes, boss."  He went back to banging his head against the van again.  Ziva came over to lead him off before he dented the van or got another concussion.  Gibbs went to take Tony's job for now.  Xander always did bring amusement to their lives.

***

Daniel came to the gate to meet the person waiting on him a week later.  "Horatio, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Xander's begun collecting again and we decided that wherever Willow might be, she could probably use it more."

"Okay.  Why?"

"Xander decided to use explosives to make himself a pond."

"Excuse me?  Can you repeat that?" Daniel asked, then glared at the snickering guard.  He looked at Horatio.  "Xander.  Nice, friendly Xander.  Used explosives to blow up his land to make a pond?"

Horatio nodded.  "He did it in one of the farther pastures.  The house is fine.  The kids were in daycare.  He said he only knocked a picture off the wall in the secondary explosion to remove the loose dirt."  Daniel let out a quiet whimper.  "Which is why Jethro and I decided that perhaps Miss Rosenburg or your people could use the rest of his new collection.  He swears he didn't buy them, they were presents or traded for."

"Sure, we can send them to Buffy and Willow," he agreed, nodding at that.  "Let me call Jack so we can get an inventory."  One was handed over.  He looked at it then at the gate guard.  "Can you get Jack up here?"  He looked at him.  "Xander?"

"Jethro and I.  I'm formerly bomb squad and Jethro's a Marine too, Daniel."

"I forget that sometimes.  Thank you.  We'll put them to good use."

"You're welcome."  He patted him on the arm.  "Did the other shipment of embryos get here?"

"Yes and we've heard from a lot of the new fathers via the fax number we set up.  A lot of them were not happy campers.  Especially a former mercenary who's now a police hacker in a Chinatown somewhere.  He told us we could hold them but no one else in the rest of the military."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Did you hear that they made a daughter of Jethro and Xander?"  Horatio's eyes went wide behind his sunglasses.  "Still an embryo but we destroyed that one when we realized how bad that child would be on the worlds."

"That's a horrible thought," Horatio told him.  Jack jogged out.  "O'Neill."

"Caine.  What's up?"

"Xander used some of his new collection to make himself a pond at the farm so they think Willow could use it better.  Jethro Gibbs and Horatio went to gather it from Xander."  He handed over the list.

Jack looked at the list then at Horatio.  "How does he do that?"

"Gibbs went with him.  One of them that was classified was given to him by something that admired him and wanted to see what sort of chaos he would cause now. Apparently the chaos creatures love him.  Should we plan on babysitting so you can use that skill as well now and then?"

"He'd take over someplace," Jack said grimly.  "Start a whole new religion.  They'll invade us to get him back.  Nope, no thanks.  Get enough of that already," he decided.

Horatio nodded, pointing at the truck.  "I brought it since it's mostly explosives and I'm former bomb squad.  Have fun sending it to Willow."

"Yeah, sure, you betcha," Jack agreed, nodding.  "Buffy will appreciate it."  Horatio smirked at him and walked off to get a ride back to town.  "Someone drive the truck in so it can be sent off."  He looked at Daniel.  "We should really plug into Xander's network better."

"I've been doing that when I'm here, Jack.  We're never on this planet anymore."  He walked back inside to take something for his new headache.  Hammond stopped him.  "Jethro Gibbs and Horatio Caine went to confiscate Xander's new collection after he used explosives to make himself a pond."

The General blinked.  "He did what?"

"Made himself a pond with explosives.  They gave it to us so we could send it to Summers and Sheppard in Atlantis."

The general walked off looking confused.  Sometimes he didn't want to know because some things were too strange even for Stargate Command.

***

A week later in a galaxy not so far away, Willow looked at the people offloading crates.  "I have something?  I didn't know Xander was sending me a birthday present."  She got handed a clipboard with an envelope.  "Ooh."  She opened it and read the note, then burst out laughing.  "Let me get Colonel Sheppard to take control of it."  The crew member smiled and nodded.  She signed her name and walked off with the note, running into Buffy and Sheppard.  He was watching her train.  He was *so* much worse than Giles about training times and Buffy doing them daily.  Then again, the training she was doing was making her hotter and getting her a lot of admiration from the other guys on base.  Plus it was keeping Buffy from being bored.  She almost suspected Sheppard and Giles of talking about her training but he was still back on earth or else he'd have magiced McKay into a toad or something too.  The time she'd accidentally turned him into a kitten so she'd have  something to pet had been cathartic.  "Xander sent us a present," she called as she walked in.

"Birthday prezzies?" Buffy asked, stopping her boxing with the heavy bag.

"No.  Remember Horatio and Jethro?"

"Yeah.  Why?"  She came over, wiping off the sweat.

"Xander decided the farm needed a pond.  He blew a hole in the ground to get one.  Jethro and Horatio took the rest of his toys and sent them to us."

John Sheppard smiled at that.  "I'm beginning to like your friend sending you two presents.  Any movies?"

"Don't know.  They're in sealed crates," Willow said, handing over the note.

He read it.  //Keep these.  Xander's not allowed to have more weapons or explosives since he blew a pond in a pasture on the farm.  Consider them a present from him, Jethro, and Horatio.  Daniel.//  He laughed.  "Some day I'd like to meet this friend."  He walked them back there to see what had come.  They could always use more weapons. He found a whole stack of crates just for him.  "Guys, let's move these to the armory," he told his Marines.  "Willow and Buffy's friend Xander sent them more presents."  That got some evil looks but they did move the weapons and stayed to watch them being unpacked.  One crate had something for Willow from Jethro's team.  One had a bag for Buffy.  There were two wrapped packages with their names on them.  Both girls squealed at the new presents and pictures of the kids.  Willow's present from Jethro was a few new computer programs and the new versions of stuff McGee knew she had on her laptop.  Including the games.  It was a thoughtful present they could all use.  Buffy's new clothes would get her leered at and she didn't mind so it gave some of the Marines happy thoughts for weeks too.  He was a very thoughtful gift giver when you were in a galaxy far away fighting extra-terrestrial vampires.  One of the administrators came in to give him an odd look.  "Their friend Xander blew a pond onto his new farm so some people told him to send Willow and Buffy the rest of his collection."

Willow sat down with the letter in her present, giggling.  "He's got a new admirer too.  I hope he kept at least a stake and a gun.  Buffy, the new admirer left him a dead squirrel.  He said he wasn't sure if it was meant to be a hint for dinner or not."

Buffy grimaced.  "I wouldn't consider it a *present*," she said.  "Girls in Georgia must be stranger than girls in California.  What happened to sending candy or flowers or nice things?  Squirrels are cute and cuddly creatures.  Except for on that one planet where they tried to eat us, but usually they're cute and cuddly creatures."

Sheppard looked at her. "Some people do eat squirrels."

"Eww," she assured him dryly.  "Nastiness.  Squirrels are not cheeseburgers!  Squirrels are furry things that you watch forage and coo at because of the big, fluffy tail.  Not things that you turn into a casserole."

"We've eaten worse," Sheppard told her.

She held up a hand.  "I *so* do not need grossed out by the rest of that thought.  It's even worse than the thought someone had about you doing the weird woman who's in charge."  Doctor Weir gave her a horrified look.  "I didn't have it," she defended.  "They were taking bets.  I thought it was just nasty.  You're not the beddy bye type really.  Cute and all but not even non-stick driving Willow's type."

Willow looked at her then snapped her fingers, knocking her out.  "Sorry, the Colonel made her work out all morning.  It was affecting her brain.  Low blood sugar."

"We have candy again for the moment.  We can fix that and then make her go back to training when she wakes up," John assured her.  "Guys, I need an inventory of the new toys.  That way we know how much explosives we have."  One was found and handed over with a note from O'Neill.  He read it and snickered.  "Hammond doesn't want to hear about Xander any more.  He said he's stranger than even us and it's giving him a headache.  To use the weapons in a way Xander would appreciate."

"No fishing with it," Doctor Weir ordered.  "And make Summers nap somewhere off the grenade tubes before someone gets a dirty thought about her cuddling and stroking them in her sleep.  Please?"

Willow floated Buffy up and to her room to let her lay down.  She put up both their presents too.  Then she came back to see what Xander had collected this time.  She loved Xander presents.  Sheppard was slowly being corrupted into seeing what a nice guy Xander was too.  Maybe some day Xander could take a week or so off from the kids and come help them with something.  It'd be a happy vacation for him.  He'd enjoy dealing with the wraiths too.

***

Xander smiled at the Sheriff when he came out a few days later.  "Did I cause problems?"

"Checking to make sure you didn't blow anything else up."  He looked around then at him.  "Xander, have you ever thought about disability?"

"Yeah but I'm a father, not disabled.  I can work.  I have worked.  Working is nice and I plan on starting to work again this spring."  The sheriff just nodded.  "Why?  Who said I can't work?"

"Son, we've all noticed you're a bit...odd now and then.  Plus you've got some bad reflexes when that one girl pounced you from behind.  By the way, thank you for not staking her."

"I'm kinda from a very violent town and I was helping bring the death level to a more reasonable level."  The sheriff gave him an odd look.  "I retired the day they told me I had kids."

"Which is good, son, but you show a lot of bad reflexes even after a few months.  I didn't know California was that dangerous."

"I'm originally from Sunnydale.  You know that commune next county over?"  He nodded slowly.  "We had a lot of bad of their sort there.  They kept snacking on the population."

"Were you with those British idiots who come to monitor the commune now and then?"

"Well, their girl was there.  One was working there, but he got fired for giving a damn about his slayer, and I worked with her and another friend mostly."  He grinned a goofy grin.  "I started in tenth grade.  I come by those instincts naturally."

"Ever think about getting help to calm down from them?  Before one of the kids pounces you?"

"I know the kids, Sheriff.  I won't hurt the kids."

"Good.  That's not what I'm worried about.  I'm worried about another teenage girl who thinks they're cute pouncing you to get permission to babysit again."  He gave him a look.  "Reverend Finet used to be military, he could help."

"We've talked a few times.  He knew about my town personally.  That's where he found God."  The Sheriff went pale and nodded, fussing with his hat.  "I'm working on it, Sheriff.  Really, I am.  I'll be okay.  I won't hurt anyone who's not hurting others.  I haven't yet.  Especially not the kids.  I saw enough of that at home."

The sheriff sighed and nodded.  "If you're sure.  If not, talk to someone before someone gets hurt real bad.  All right?"

"I will.  I won't even buy or collect more explosives.  Horatio would get really mad and he said he'd take Liam from me if I did anything like that again."  He looked around then at him.  "I'm thinking about adding somewhere for the other daddies to stay when they come down.  What do you think about a cabin?"

"I think it'd take you a long time to build one yourself and be more expensive than you think," he offered.  "I also think that the trailer place in the next town probably has some smaller, used ones that could be put out on the other side of the pond and hooked to the water lines and such."  He gave him a look. "They'd even move it for you."

"That could be really nice.  You think it'd be really cheap?"

"Depends.  You'd have to check."  He saw the water company's truck pull in.  "Forgot to pay the bill?"

"Water meter blew last night.  One of the pipes broke."  The sheriff winced.  "I saw the geyser, the kids were oohing over it, so I came out to shut it off."  He smiled at the worker. "I shut it off at the emergency handle."

"That'll work.  Let me see what happened."  Xander pointed so he went to look, wincing a bit.  "Ow.  That's going be a big fix."

"As long as I don't have to pay for the geyser."

"Nah, boss said that's not right."  He grinned.  "Thanks for finding it."

"Not an issue.  Didn't need the kids to play with that."  The guy gave him a look.  "I've got all five at the house right now."

"Wow."  He looked at the pipe again, the Sheriff coming over too.  "Let me call my boss.  This is going to take some serious work.  It looks like it blew from the coupling into the meter."

"Sure," Xander agreed.  He looked at the Sheriff again.  "You can get one room trailers?"

"You can, or one bedroom ones.  It's out by the Krogers, kid."  He clapped him on the back.  "You gonna need the motel?"

"Nah, we've got the well pump and the pond," he said with a grin.  "The kids loved to swim for their baths today."  That got a nod and the older man left.  Xander sat down to watch the workers pile into his front yard to dig up the main water line and replace it.

***

Xander looked up as someone drove up to the farmhouse, jogging back over there.  He smiled at Horatio when he figured out who it was.  "The kids are at daycare and I'm over here," he yelled, waving a hand.  Horatio nodded, walking that way, the pony following him.  "Hi.  Another vacation?"

"I came to get Liam for a few days," he admitted.  "Is that a trailer?"

"I figure it'll give you guys who can only show up for a few days some more privacy with the kids.  Plus it'll be good if Danny or someone has to come down and stay.  Or even Buffy and Willow when they take vacation time."

Horatio smiled.  "Spending yourself poor?"

"No, it was pretty cheap because it's used and so small.  It's a one bedroom but I fixed up the living room so it's the main bedroom, then the kids get the regular one."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Come look.  I'm almost done hooking up the water line."  He led the way back there.  "It needs to be painted and I found some cheap carpet remnants to put down too.  That way it's nicer in here."

"Doing this instead of a cabin?"

"Yup."  He grinned.  "Liam got pouty this morning playing inside while I was hooking things up so I took them to daycare today.  The old ladies love them and he walked in and sucked up to one who was eating."  Horatio shook his head but he was smiling.  "Catty did the same thing.  She's a bit fussy.  I didn't realize a sauce I was using had some citrus juice in it so she's got a small rash on her back.  We've been treating it but she was cranky and Liam didn't want to be her teddybear today."

"She does that when they're both in Miami too," he assured him, looking around.  "I'll help if you want."

"Okay.  The carpet pieces are back in the bedroom area."  He nodded, going to get that so he fix up the living room area.  He was the most likely to show up for a weekend so he should make it comfortable.  Xander got back to the water pipe.  Then he checked the electric.  It was hooked up.  He double-checked, frowning at it.  Then he figured out what was wrong and fixed it.  They didn't need a fire out here some night.  When he was done he turned on both services and came in to check things.  A small leak in a pipe was easily fixed as well.  Then he shut off the water at the pipe.  "I figure we can turn it on each time it's in use."

"That's a good idea and it'll save you money," Horatio agreed.

"The local Sheriff thinks I should be on disability."

"That's because you do things like blow a big hole in the ground for a pond, Xander."

"It helped when the water meter sprung a leak," he said with a grin.  "Besides, I can actually live on the pension at the moment.  It's enough to cover all the bills and this stuff."

"Land taxes?"

"Giles paid this year's already and I checked, it's not that high.  I'm putting a bit aside each month for that."

"Good."  He finished putting down the carpet and Xander helped him move the bed into place.  Then the side tables, the tv, and the other things that'd make the living room a combination room.  Then the baby stuff had to be brought out from the barn.  A small twin-sized bed.  A few tables, a dresser.  A fan or two.  They pulled them in to make sure the electric would hold.  Xander turned on every single thing in the place and watched them all.  Nothing blew a fuse.  Nothing was too heavy draw for the line he had put out.  "Fire marshal?"

"Is coming out tomorrow," Xander told him, turning everything off.  They came outside and he threw the switch on the electric line, shutting it off.  "There."  He grinned.  "Think that'll do?"

"I think I'll go out there after he checks it out."

"Sure."  He nodded.  "Let's get the groceries and then the kids.  That way we don't have to worry about the food thieves."

Horatio laughed and nodded, following him.  "Can we fit everyone in the car?"

"Well, I fit everyone in the car but I barely had room to sit."

"We'll take both cars and split them on the way back."  Xander nodded, heading to get his t-shirt so they could go.  Horatio watched him jog.  He was in a hyper, fussing mood.  It was good to see.  He got into the hummer and they headed out together.  A long stop at the grocery store - because the kids ate more than both of them combined in a week.  Then they switched the carseats around so Liam was with him and so was Catty.  They pulled into the church's parking lot, letting Horatio smile at the old clapboard building.  They walked in and he took off his sunglasses.  His son squealed and came pelting over to hug his legs.  "I've missed you too, Liam."  He picked him up to hold.  "Were you a good boy for daddy and the nice ladies?"

Liam beamed and pointed.  "Veggie!" he said proudly.

"Very good.  You learned a new word."  He kissed him on the head, weathering the odd looks.  "I'm Liam's other father."

"Oh," one said, looking at Xander.

Xander looked at them.  "The Reverend told you I couldn't tell you."

"Mad idiot with a microscope?" one of the older ladies asked.

"One who's fortunately in jail," Horatio told her.  They all just nodded at that.  "The other fathers haven't been in?"

"Eric's been in once to pick up Catty," Xander told him.  "They switched out for that week, two of these nice women were on vacation."  He grinned.  "Were they good?"

"Fairly so.  Rebecca's been a holy terror all day.  Wouldn't quit fussing."

"Hmm.  We'll call her daddy tonight, see what's going on."  He groaned as he picked up Rachel and Catty.  "Come on, guys, to the car!"  They headed out.  Horatio took Catty and put her onto the hummer's back seat until he could hitch her in.  Xander got the other three and it was good.  He had room to sit again!  He waved.  "Do I owe you ladies more for today?"

"No, son.  You've already paid for the month by fixing that pipe," one of the ladies told him, waving a hand.  "Be good kids."

"They try so very hard," Xander said with an impish, wicked grin, earning a laugh.  "See you guys in a few days probably.  It's about time to mow."  He climbed in and headed home.  "So, guys, are we happy babies?" he asked.  He turned on the radio to the classic rock station, the only one he could get in the car, and the babies squealed and bounced with the music.  He smiled, honking at the sheriff as he went past him.

The Sheriff watched the hummer go past.  "Huh.  Liam's father's up again.  Must be having a bad week in Miami."  He finished his cigarette and went back into the air conditioned office, calling the local fire marshal.  "The Harris boy was just picking up his kids.  Guess he's got the trailer hooked up.  No, the boy's dad's in.  Yeah, that boy, not the Harris boy.  I'm not sure if he's got parents or not."  He smirked.  "Yup, hummer and all.  You can ask, he'll probably brag.  Miami's awfully proud of their hummers.  Sure.  Just headed back to the farm.  Had to get the kids from daycare.  Sucked up to the ladies all day probably.  Let me know if he needs help."  He hung up and went back to the few pieces of work he had to deal with.

An older man stomped in.  "Was that hummer the Harris boy?"

"That was the son's other father."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "He's not gay, Pete.  It's classified but someone decided the boy needed kids and made him some."  The other man gave him an even more horrified look.  He nodded.  "It's sad but they're nice kids and the Harris boy lets the other fathers have them whenever they want.  He's been arranging for a spot for them to stay a while when they wanted to keep them up here."

"He's not gay?"

"Probably not.  He's a bit confused, thinks the kids means he can't date.  He told me about a few of his exes the last time I went out to talk about your niece leaving him more presents.  His last one likes to torture men who cheat.  Named Anyanka."  Pete took a step back.  "Reverend Finet knew the boy from before he retired.  Thankfully those kids keep him out of trouble most of the time.  Except for the pond thing."

Pete shook his head.  "Those kids are going to be odd."

"Their daddy's already odd.  Their other fathers are nice.  Mostly officer types.  The one in the hummer is a crime scene guy, like the State Police that come out when there's a homicide.  He's the boss in one of the labs in Miami."

"Damn.  Well, he'll have brains.  They're how old?"

"The oldest are just over two years," the Sheriff said with a grin.  "The youngest's almost a year if I remember right.  He's only known for a few months.  Not too many young boys age twenty-two can handle five kids.  He's doing good and the nosy ladies' society at the church is watching over his shoulder to make sure they're all right."

"Fine.  Still say the boy's got to be gay."

"Even if he was, it's none of our business, Pete.  Maybe he'll settle down with someone nice and they'll have a permanent mommy sort."   Pete stomped off shaking his head.  The Sheriff grinned and got back to the last few pieces of paper, finding one on his desk.  He frowned and called the Harris boy.  "It's me.  Can I have Liam's father for a few minutes?  Thanks, kid."  He hung up and grabbed his hat, taking the note with him to talk to him.  He didn't know anything about ancient skeletons.  Figured a CSI would.

***

Tony groaned, lifting his head from the bed when his cellphone rang.  "Nurse?" he called pitifully.  She came in.  "Can I please have my cell?  I have a feeling it's my daughter."

She grimaced but handed it over.  "No more than ten minutes, DiNozzo."

"Yup."  He opened it.  "Hey, it's me," he said weakly.  "Banged on the head, Xander.  I'm fine."  He smiled.  "Rebecca's been fussy all day?  Is she all right?  Oh, you think she was fussy because she was worried about me.  Maybe.  Stranger things and all that," he said tiredly.  Xander put the baby on.  "Hi, Becca."  He smiled at her happy babble.  "Are you feeling better?  Daddy's just fine and everything will be all right, princess.  You know what?  I'll have some leave time so I can come down to play with you in a few days if you want."  He smiled at her continual babble.  Especially the word red.  "Is Horatio down there?"  She squealed and he heard her walking the phone over. "Hey, Horatio.  Tell Xander I'll be down for some vacation and recuperation time soon?"  He nodded.  "She said that.  She kept talking about red."  He laughed.  "That's fine.  Banged on the head again.  Feel miserable."  He yawned.  "I'm fine.  Really.  That'll be nice sure.  Thanks, man.  See you in a few."  He hung up and put his head back down.  "My daughter was fussy all day because she worried about me."

"She live with her mother?"

Tony smiled.  "Xander might say otherwise but other father."  He turned carefully onto his side, seeing Kate in the doorway.  "Hey."

"Hey.  You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Talked to Rebecca. She's been fussing all day since about ten."

"Interesting."  She came in to look at him.  "Gibbs booked you tomorrow night.  Give you time to rest before flying out."  He grinned at that.  "He also called Taylor.  They're sending Craig down too.  He'll pick him up from the airport for you and hand him over in the morning."

"That'll be cool.  Xander just put up a trailer on the other side of the new pond for visiting parents."  She smiled at that.  "So I'll be there."

She nodded.  "We know."  She patted him on the shoulder.  "The director tried to come back today."

"Did she see Gibbs and burst out crying again?"

"Your desk."

"Charming."  He yawned again.  "I think I'll nap."

"Sure, you nap, Tony.  I'll stand guard."  He nodded at that, letting himself drift off.  She looked at the nurse.  "Any reason he shouldn't fly?"

"I'll ask the doctor.  I'm not sure if you shouldn't fly with a concussion."  She went to make that note to ask him when he showed up for rounds.  If so, he could probably drive.

Kate sat down in the chair, calling their boss.  "Gibbs, me.  I'm sitting guard on Tony.  He talked to Becca.  She's been fussy since ten this morning."  She nodded.  "That's what he was thinking I think.  The nurse is going to check, make sure he can fly down.  He's fine. Sleeping.  Sure.  If you need me, I'm here."  She hung up, getting comfortable.  She even had a book in her purse for when she got bored with Tony's tv.

***

Tony drove up the driveway at the farm, smiling at the boy and pony who came out to meet him.  "Hi, Liam.  Hold still," he called.  He parked and got out, pulling Craig out.  "Here we go."  He watched him toddle over to Liam to hug him and play with his hair.  Tony smiled.  "Looks like you've got another admirer, Liam."

"They all want his hair," Horatio said from the porch.  "Head injury?"

"God, yes," he moaned, heading up there.  "We're here, Xander."  He flopped down on the swing next to Horatio.  Liam walked Craig up and gave him a nudge toward his father then ran off again.  Tony smiled, picking Craig up to cuddle him.  "Did he want his hair back?"  He smiled when he saw who was peeking out.  "Hi, Becca.  Come cuddle me and Craig?"  She came out and crawled up with some help from Horatio, sinking into his side to hug him.  "I missed you too, princess."  He smiled and slowly fell asleep there.

Horatio snuck inside, smiling at Xander. "They're napping on the porch swing."

"I have some days too," he admitted with a grin.  "They'll be fine."  He gave him a pat on the arm.  "What did your boss say when you called?"

"I had better bring the hummer back in a few days."  He gave him a look.  "Can I bring Liam back?"

"Sure.  Not an issue.  I'm sure he'd like different people playing with his hair."

Horatio smiled.  "Quite possibly.  Then we'll leave in the morning and let Tony have the trailer."  He smiled and went to find his son's friend.  He'd find his son with the pony and the pony was easier to find.  He came back in.  "Xander, when are you going to clean out the barn?"

"This weekend since Tony's here to watch the toddlers."

"Thanks.  Liam's trying to crawl inside one of the milk urns."  He went to stop him, picking him up and walking him off.  The pony followed them to the pond, making him smile.  "You're a very good guard pony," he told her.  They sat down beside the pond, watching the water for now.  His son snuggled in and got comfortable, falling asleep that way.  "You're going to have to see Auntie Yelina again, son.  We'll get her over her fussing.  Maybe you'll get to see Madison too."  He kissed him on the head and his son let out a fuss.  "It's me, son.  No one's going to play with your hair."  He shifted and went back to sleep.  Horatio smiled.  His son was going to be so vain about his hair when he was older.

***

Jack O'Neill came up to the gate when summoned, smiling at the man standing there.  "DiNozzo, what's up?"

"Nothing much.  Came to get Wyatt for Stan since he's in court today.  Plus we needed to ask Danny a few questions."  Jack frowned.  "About two weeks ago I got hit on the head, again."

Jack nodded.  "Had that happen.  And?"

"Rebecca, my daughter with Xander, screamed and fussed all day until she talked to me.  She started about thirty minutes after I got hurt.  About when I woke up."

"Ooookay," Jack said slowly.  "That's strange."

"I talked to Stan, he said Wyatt did the same thing the last time Daniel got hurt.  He called to see if something was wrong since Richard and Wyatt were both fussing and chanting his name.  Richard picked it up from Wyatt from what he said.  You told him Danny had gotten hurt falling down some stairs or something."

Jack frowned.  "That's odd."

"That's not the only time.  Don said Selene fussed when Xander was blowing up the pasture to make a pond.  She stopped a few minutes after he did.  The last time Mac got hurt Craig fussed even though it was just a scratch."

"So we're thinking that the people who made the babies did something, made 'em a bit psychic with their parents?"

"I'm hoping it's something like that," Tony agreed.  "Or maybe some funky baby power they all have."

"I can talk to Danny."

"Thanks, man.  Anyway, we're staying overnight so I can bring Wyatt home on my way to give Craig back to Mac and Don."

"Sure.  Motor lodge?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It's closest and where Stan stays when he's here."  He grinned.  "I'll ask Danny and our docs to pull some more blood from Wyatt.  He's presently glaring at someone who was bothering his father."

"Sure.  I'll be there.  Let me know if you need some of mine or Craig's."  That got a nod and he left, heading back to the hotel.  "Well, let's see what comes up," Tony told Craig, who smiled behind his popsicle.  His son was a mess but he was a kid so it was all right.

Jack walked off the elevator and heard the screaming, the alarm, and people running, following the sounds to where Daniel was being held away from a Tok'ra named Anise.  "Let me guess, she tried to touch the baby?" he called.

"He is unnatural," she hissed.

"Who asked you?" Jack told her.  She glared. "Get out!"  He looked at Daniel.  "DiNozzo was here."  He joined in the holding back and pushing Daniel away from Anise by standing in front of him.

"About?" he growled.

"He said Rebecca fussed from the time he woke up after getting hit on the head last time until he talked to her."

Danny stopped struggling and stared at him.  "What?"

"The same as Stan called you because Wyatt was fussing when you got hurt last time."

"I'll have to look into that," he muttered.  "Get her out of here before I kill her and her whole planet!" he shouted.  "No one touches my son!"

The General had the airmen lead Anise away, sending her back home and went with her to talk to their other contact - Sam's father was one of them.  "Jacob?"  He looked over and smiled. "Don't.  Daniel's pissed."

"Why?"

"Anise tried to hurt his kid, called him unnatural."

"Excuse me?"

"He said if she comes back he's going to destroy everyone."

"I'll talk with the council, have her apologize and stay here for a while.  How is Wyatt?"

"He's good.  He glared at Anise all day then screamed when she came near him with a needle.  Empty, she wanted to take blood."

"I'll deal with her."

"Thank you.  Speaking of, can we talk to just you for a bit?  Or you and your passenger."

"Why?"

"Jack mentioned some strange things about the kids knowing when their fathers were hurt," he said quietly.

"Interesting.  I can come help Janet."  He went to talk to someone about Anise then followed him back through the gate.  "Daniel," he said, smiling at him and Wyatt.  "Is he all right?  The Council is appalled."

"I'm glad someone's smart enough to keep the bad scientist device over there," Sam said dryly.  "She was going to draw blood, dad."

"I heard.  Hammond told me."  He kissed his daughter on the forehead.  "How are you?"

"I'm good.  How are you and Selmak?"

"We're good."  He smiled.  "Hammond said someone noticed something about Wyatt and his fellow kids?"

"Tony DiNozzo did," Jack said from his seat.  "Sit, Danny."  He looked at the former general again.  "The last time Danny got hurt, Wyatt threw up a fit and got Richard into it.  Stan called."  That got a slow nod.  "DiNozzo got hit on the head."

"He has that reputation," the Tok'ra inside Jacob said dryly.

"His daughter with Mr. Harris threw up a fit when he woke up until she called," Jack told him.  "He said he's got other times with Craig and his other father as well."

"Interesting."  He looked at Wyatt.  "May I hold you?" the Tok'ra asked.  Wyatt smiled and went to him, cuddling in.  "You're a very good boy, Wyatt."  He 'felt' him, making the baby stare at him.  "You seem fully human but they were dealing with demons."

"I asked Rupert to come in, he's off-base today with Tara doing some clothes shopping," Sam told him.  "I was wondering if it might be from the demon they had incubating the kids."

"I don't know."  He sat down with Wyatt, smiling at the boy.  "Sam used to be your size too.  She did the same thing."

"Dad," she complained lightly.  Tara walked in and she smiled.  "We have a question about the demons who gave birth to the kids."

Tara nodded, clearing her throat.  Being around Daniel had made her learn a lot more self-confidence.  Especially when Daniel had nearly went across the desk to grab her stepmother to beat her to death when she showed up and then he went on a four hour rant in three different languages about bad parents.  "They're not psychic.  We've noticed Wyatt doing it too."  Danny gaped.  She smiled.  "Giles thought someone might've noticed that even a papercut gets a fussy baby Wyatt.  On Danny or Jack."  She smiled at Jack.  "He loves you."

"I love the little guy too," he promised.  "He's a good kid.  Loving and cuddly."

"So it couldn't have come from the, for lack of a better word, mother?" Daniel asked.  She shook her head.  "Are there demons who can do that?"  She nodded.  "Could we get a list, some way to test for them?"

"The main three are all subspecies of one type and it's evil to them.  Even drugged Giles said they would've killed themselves.  Even strapped down."

"So they can't be, but what about even a single gene?" Sam asked.

She shook her head.  "He said they'd know.  Even the scent of one of them on another being is enough for them to attack it." They all nodded.  "Now, he did say there's one other option and knowing the Initiative it's possible.  He's calling someone who might know and he did suggest a full workup just in case.  Because the Watchers don't know everything, no matter how much they think so."

"So we can do that," Jack agreed.  "Danny, bloodwork?"

"I can agree to that and a DNA swab.  What about what you and Willow do?"

She blushed.  "I can't do it down here.  The gate messes with things.  Willow could but she's off on Atlantis."

"They're coming in a week," Danny reminded her.  "All of SGA-1 for that update meeting.  I can have them bring Willow back too."

"Buffy too?  She'll pout.  Then they'll have to distract her and whole planets might have to go boom."

"Buffy too," Jack agreed.  "As long as she doesn't pinch me this time."  He stood up.  "Also, DiNozzo's here to take Wyatt back to Stan.  He's at the usual spot, Danny."

"We can have Janet draw blood," Sam told him.  That got a nod and they headed out.  "Dad?  Have you ever heard of that?"

"Now and then, Selmak has, but nothing concrete, only rumors."

"Is it possible the Initiative got some alien DNA?" Tara asked quietly.

He looked at her.  "Anything's possible when you're talking about the demented, Tara."  He smiled at his daughter.  "I'm going to beat Anise.  Let me know how this turns out."  She nodded so he left after getting a few pictures of the baby for those who'd demand one.  He walked back through the gate, smiling when it closed behind him.  Selmak came out and headed right to the Council, who were most of the ones who wanted pictures. "Danny's handing Wyatt off to his other father today.  After some new bloodwork."

"He's unnatural," Anise said from her seat.

"So're we," Jacob said in his normal voice.  He looked at the Council.  "Jackson was very concerned.  She nearly died.  He was very serious about destroying all of us if she tries to hurt his son again.  O'Neill suggested we keep her over here until she can apologize and mean it."

"I would agree," one of the counselors agreed.

"They are consorting with unnatural things," Anise shouted, standing up.  "We should not be allies."

Jacob looked at her.  "Since when have you considered them allies?  The last time I saw you considered them experiments."  She stomped off.  He looked at the council again.  "New pictures of Wyatt as well."  He smiled and walked off.  It was handled.  She wouldn't get near Wyatt again.

The council members passed around the pictures, smiling.  They didn't have children and it was something they all missed about their people.

***

Xander looked up as a beam came down in his front yard, frowning and walking out to the stairs.  "Who the hell are you?" he asked the woman coming out of the moving, flying rings.  "You don't look like a Willow or a Buffy."

"I've come to examine the children," she said firmly.

He snorted.  "And monkeys fly out of my ass, lady.  Not happening.  Even if you brought O'Neill with you you're not getting near my kids."

"I will.  There's something wrong with them."

He shook his head.  "No there's not.  There hasn't been and they're perfectly healthy.  Their doctor said so."

She snorted.  "You're Tauri, how would you know?"

Xander smirked.  That was enough for his opinion to be carved in cement.  "And here I thought the rumors of Sunnydale were spread throughout the galaxy.  My contacts assured me they told others."  She glared.  He gave her a smug look.  "There's no way in hell you're getting near my children so you can traumatize them with your bad boob job, lady.  I don't care who you think you are."

"I will and you will not stop me," she said, stepping forward.

"If you think you're that tough, bring it on," he offered, coming off the porch.  "You're still not getting near the kids."  She snarled and came for him.  Unfortunately she was a scientist, didn't have a weapon, and Xander had years of combat in hand-to-hand areas.  He finally got her down, staring at her bleeding, moaning body.  "Told you so," he said smugly.  He looked inside, using that small touch of magic he had to summon the phone.  "Sheriff," he asked once he dialed. "I've got a small situation.  Someone's coming up to deal with the kids for a few days but I've got to remove this person who just showed up to hurt the kids.  No, you can't have this one.  She's a governmental problem.  Yup, coming for the kids.  Can I get you to come out and watch them for maybe an hour?"  He smiled.  "Thanks.  No, Tony's back in DC by now.  Eric's should be up within an hour.  Thank you."  He hung up and went to find some ropes, coming out to tie her up.  Then he went to pack baby pictures and a bag of stuff he might need.  "CORDELIA!" he shouted.  She appeared, giving him a horrified look.  He pointed at his prisoner.  "Came for the kids.  Can we do the blipping thing?"

"I got into major trouble for that, Xander."

Xander grinned at her.  "So don't send me somewhere they'd see me.  I know Willow's coming in soon.  She came to try to hurt the kids."

She blinked then at the woman.  "Wow.  The other aliens are *smart*."  She considered it.  "Who's going to watch the tiny terrors?"

"Eric's on his way up but they're napping right now."  He called him. "It's me.  Someone just came to hurt the kids.  I'm going to give her back to her people.  The sheriff is on his way out until you can get here.  That'll work.  Thanks."  He hung up and grinned at her.  "I'll beg and you can blame me."

"I do it anyway."  She shrugged and came closer.  "Take her and my hand."  He put the bag over his shoulder and put a foot on the woman's stomach, taking her hand.  "Breaking major rules here, but here we go."  She concentrated and the thing Angel had given her was activated, letting her bring him to where she could be put to good use.

Buffy frowned, looking over as someone sparkly appeared in the mess hall.  "XANDER!" she shouted, bouncing up to grab him for a hug.  "How did you get here!"

He pointed at the thing under his feet.  "The bad alien boob job came for the kids."  He looked around and grinned. "Just ignore me.  I'm a figment."

"Bloody unlikely," someone called.

"Oh, shut up, Doc," Buffy shouted back.  "This is Xander, the one who gives nice presents.  You better have brought baby pictures too, Mister."

"I did," he sighed, handing over the bag and hauling the woman up.  "Does anyone here know what to do with the bad alien boob job?  Before I toss her somewhere liquidy to see if she really is an uncomfortable looking flotation device?"  A few of the guys laughed.

Willow stomped in.  She paused.  "XANDER!" she squealed loudly enough to have it echo, coming over to pounce him.  "Who's the horror story of plastic surgery?"

"She came for the kids.  You know, you'd figure that aliens would be able to do a better boob job by now.  Especially if they're supposedly superior.  After all, she gave me the 'you're only a tauri' speech.  I'm guessing that's the same one the vamps used to use."  She nodded at that, giving him an extra squeeze.  "So who wants her?"

"I'll take her.  She's technically an ally," a young, dark haired guy said.

Xander shrugged, handing her over. "Then she shouldn't have tried to hurt my kids.  Really, really stupid.  Is she from the stupid aliens?"

"She's a scientist," he offered.  "The same sort that made the kids."

"Ah.  That explains that."  Xander turned and laid a vicious kick to her side, cracking something very loudly.  "Don't come near my kids again.  The others might be nice.  I'm not known for it.  Next time, check the rumors."  She whimpered and passed out.  "Good.  Can we toss her in the water to see if they float?  I've always wondered if bad implants float."

"Probably not," he said, handing her off.  "To the infirmary, keep her locked to the bed until someone can come get her."  He nodded, walking off.  "So, you're their friend Xander?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Not to be rude, but how did you get here?"

"Cordy," Buffy said happily, pointing at the glowing being.  "She's being a glowy squid girl.  Is there any new news?"

"Yeah, Angel's going insane thanks to Wes.  Not that we didn't expect it but Wes is picking on him and he's been messing up his hair again."

"That's mean of Wes," Buffy pouted.

Cordy looked at her.  "Get over it, Buffy.  Please.  Do the Powers a huge ass favor and quit lusting after the undead hotty with the bad hair."

"And forehead ridge," Xander added dryly.  He grinned.  "Angel got pictures last month and sent back a groan.  He told me I'm going to warp the rest of the warriors for the Powers by being a happy guy with kids.  So I told Spike where he was and where the rest of the toys are."  He grinned.  "All the annoyance stuff we stole off Jonathan and them were in there."  Willow burst out in evil cackles. "He made the same sound for some reason," he said dryly.  He looked around then at Buffy.  "You can think of Angel with all the hotties here?  Are you sick?"

"Tired.  Colonel Sheppard makes me train every day.  I'm too tired to drool and stare in awe."

Xander gave her a hug.  "It's all right.  I brought you chocolate cookies."  She dug into the bag to get the treats, going back to her seat.  He smiled at the waiting young guy.  "Let me guess, you're her temporary watcher, Sheppard?"  He nodded with a small smirk.  "Sorry to barge in but I wanted her *far* away from my kids.  I figured you guys would have something that could eat her before she actually got within ten thousand feet of my kids or the other kids they made.  It's a flashback to saving the world."  He shrugged.  He looked around.  "Cordy?" he said, frowning.

"She orbed out a minute ago," Willow told him.  "She'll probably be back soon."

"Okay.  I can sit somewhere and not look at anything."  He looked at the Colonel.  "Sorry."

"How did the ascended being bring you both?" he asked.

Xander shrugged.  "How would I know?  I'm a former construction worker and the gear guy from Sunnydale.  I know how to cause chaos, not how it works," he offered with a small grin.

"You certainly do.  You do realize you're nowhere near home?"

Xander nodded.  "Yup.  I also know I'm not going to be stuck here."  He looked at Willow, who snickered.  "Are we using chaos magic?"  She quit laughing and slowly shook her head.  "Then why is it floating around *everywhere* and infecting even you?"

"Um...."  She gave him a horrified look.  "How would you know?"

"Ethan sent stuff for Rachel and I've been reading over it.  After all, someone's got to teach her how not to blow up the world somehow."

"Poopie."  She walked off, dragging him with her.

"Miss Rosenburg, he is not rated to be here," Sheppard yelled, following.

She gave him a look.  "If he can fix it, we won't sink again."  She looked at Xander. "I'm taking you to meet the guy that Buffy said is like a kid between us.  That talk gave me nightmares so fair warning."

"That's cool.  Always happy to make new friends.  Buffy had baby pictures too."

"I'll get 'em later."

"That's fine.  I brought up the small thermo-psychic bomb someone gave me too."  Sheppard went running back to the mess.  He grinned.  "He's a bit paranoid."

"We have evil space vampires."

"Wow.  A whole race of Angel and Spike?  Do they use too much gel too?" Xander asked as he got drug into a lab.  He waved.  "Cordy brought me."  Someone let out a swear and threw something at him.  He caught it and looked at it, picking up a tiny set of screwdrivers and tweezers to fix it. Then he tossed it back.  "Push the purplie thing inside it to arm it then run like hell.  They're nice.  I used one to make the pond."  He let her lead him to the panel she wanted.  He laid a hand on it then at her.  "You can't feel that?"

"I've been doing sciency stuff."  She opened the panel.  "See, crystals."

Xander looked, then shrugged.  "It's humming more off-key than I sing."  She grimaced.  "You can't..?"

"What is that humming?" Sheppard yelled.

"Okay, answers that question," Xander said, reaching inside to tap the crystal.  It was warm.  "It's overheating too.  Do we have a replacement?"  She got up and got one, letting him have it.  He slowly shifted, looking at it.  Then he tapped the top of the crystal.  Somewhere something ground together in a bad mechanical sound.  "Huh.  We've got bad wires too."  He looked at the new crystal.  "It won't fit, Wills.  This one has a screw bottom."  He pointed, fiddling with it until it hummed better.  The grinding happened again.  He got up and traced it, finding a maintenance shaft to crawl up.  "Lights please?" he requested.  Willow created a small glowing ball for him to use.  He carried it up with him, looking at the wiring.  Then he came back down and got what was obviously a weapon.  "It work?"  Everyone shook their heads, giving him worried looks.  He sighed and took the scientist's sidearm, making him shriek.  "Not like I'm fucking you, dude. You have something chewing on the wires."  He got back up there and three shots later it was dead.  He kicked it back down.  "It might even be edible."  He made room as the very upset scientist came up the ladder.  "Hey."  He pointed.  "It was nibbling on this.  That looks like an electrical line to me.  The pale white one is clearly higher energy.  It feels like chaos magic to me."  He handed back the gun.  "Here, before you turn any more red in the face and pass out.  I'm not carrying you around.  Someone would say something, namely Willow."

"Who are you?" he demanded.

Xander grinned.  "Xander.  I'm the one who sent Willow and Buffy presents."  He gaped.  "I had to bring up the bad flotation device alien who was trying to hurt my kids.  I had Cordy bring me.  I don't know why she brought me here.  Going to Danny or Jack would've been closer.  But I guess she would've gotten in trouble again.  She said she did the last time she helped me when I had to help rescue the director of NCIS."  He looked at that line, putting a hand on it.  He heard the purr around him and looked.  "She's alive?"  He nodded.  "Have we had a doctor look at her?"

"She's not that sort of alive."

Xander looked at him then took his hand and put it onto the same line.  "It's a pulse."  He grinned.  "She's alive and like a cyborg but she's alive.  She's putting off and using chaos energy too."  He moved on, snapping his fingers.  "Any wires?  You've got a major break here."

"I can fix those in a few minutes. Get back here.  I don't have a light."  Xander rolled it back and moved on.  "You can't see!" he said angrily.

Xander glanced back.  "I'm still a night person and I still hunted with those two hot girls downstairs."  He kept moving. "Besides, I hear something moving up here."  He kept going, finding the thing hiding in the shadows.  "Huh, what are you?  Yo, angry one?  What's with the dark, scowly thing in the cloak?"

"Get away from that!" he shouted.  "John, Wraith!" he yelled, backing out.  "It'll kill you."

"Everything I date wants to kill me.  You notice I'm single but still here?"  He looked at it then did the simple thing, knocking it out.  It was too hungry to do much anyway.  He drug it back and tossed it down the ladder too. "There you go, Willow.  It was resting against some of the power lines."

"Thanks.  Really."  The sound of a plasma shot.  "Ah!  Better.  Any more, Xander?"  She crawled up, looking around.  "Wow."  She laid a hand on the same place.  "This is kinda like the Buffy bot, huh?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  She closed her eyes and chanted something, lighting up the walls.  You could see a scratched in diagram.  "Would that help?"

"How did you do that?"

"It's using chaos magic.  She's using chaos powers.  It feels like family to her."  Xander came back to look, pointing at something.  "Grinding probably.  I heard it earlier."  The purr came back.  "Good girl."  He stroked the wall.  "Let us know if you need more repairs, girl.  I don't think they're psychic."  A few of the scratched spots lit up more.  "There ya go."

"I cast a checking charm. That's where the bad spots in the wiring are," Willow told him.  "Oh, Doctor McKay, this is Xander.  Xander, this is Doctor McKay.  Buffy says he's like the kid between us."

"That's kinda cool."  He shook his hand.  "I should probably go beat Cordelia until she comes back.  I left Eric with the kids."

"You know you can't...."

"Dude, the only ones I talk to are the local sheriff, the guys who have other kids in the group, and myself.  Who else would believe me?  The Sheriff thinks I should be on disability after I blew a hole for a pond."  The other guy let out a small moan.  He grinned.  "I'm like that.  That's why Horatio made me send Willow and Buffy the toys."  He looked at her.  "You're taking good care of them, right?"

"There's a whole lot of Marines who worship your name because you sent them your toys," she promised.

Xander grinned. "They don't have to *worship* me but it's nice to hear someone's taking good care of my former babies."  He looked at the confused scientist.  "I'm the Xander that used to hunt with them.  I was in charge of our weapons cache because Giles doesn't like higher than crossbows and Buffy sometimes needed things."  He grinned then looked around.  "At least you guys don't have any of the worm things.  They've been bad about spreading rumors about Danny and Jack again."

Willow gaped.  "The little subsonic worm thingies that're like you found in the Xanth books?"  Xander nodded.  "Oh, shit."

He laughed.  "They're in any solid rock surface, Willow.  Of course I knew who Danny was.  I nearly bowed to him for causing the same sort of trouble I can."  He grinned at the amused looking scientist.  "In a more mundane way.  Who else could have a love spell backfire and turn every woman in town but the one he wanted into a raving, chasing, drooling pack of women after me to either sleep with them or kill me if I wouldn't?"

"I hope no one else," Willow said grimly.

Xander shrugged.  "I haven't done it since then.  I do learn."

"Good.  That's very good."  She looked at the pulse tube.  "It's slowing down."  Alarms started.

"That's a combat reaction.  Your pulse slows as you take the deep breaths preparing for battle."  Xander shooed.  "Let's go.  I don't want to be in a tiny tube if we're under attack, people."  They nodded and he slid down first, looking at the Marines gearing up.  "Geeze,  you guys act like you're us."  He looked at Buffy.  "What can I do?"

"Stay here."

He snickered.  "Remember the last time you told me that?"

"Yeah.  You stopped the person who was going to blow up the school while we were working on closing the hellmouth.  How are you doing chaos magic?"

"Ethan sent a primer for Rachel.  I've been reading it over so I can teach it to her when she's older.  Since then I've been more able to tell what sort of magic is going on."  He shrugged.  "It helps.  There's a demon commune in the next county but they're all comfy and peaceful sorts.  The one time someone came who wasn't the Sheriff called and I staked.  It was nice."  He looked at the screen showing the flying things.  "Is that a neutron engine or sonics?"

"Not really sure," Willow admitted. "Why?"

"Pull a Noriega?" Xander suggested. "Counter their waves to knock them out."

"That's evil," she said grimly.

Xander gave her an odd look.  "I'm not evil.  Today.  I got to sleep last night.  Even Catty got to sleep last night."  She laughed.  "They're teething!"  He walked out to grab something and worked on it on the way.  One of them flew overhead, letting him stare.  Then he went back to fiddling with it.  The next pass of one of them he tossed it up and watched it stick.  "I love magnets."  The thing started to rock, then plummeted.  He jogged over to get the thing and handed it to Buffy.  Then a crossbow someone had dropped.  "Get it close.  It's got magnets."

She attached it to a bolt and shot it at the next flying craft.  It too crashed.  She grinned.  "This is more fun than target practice."  She ran to get it and did it to the last one, watching as it crashed too.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome, dear."  He grinned at the staring people.  "Not like I had the money to buy the neat toys.  Half the time I had to take them off the things we were hunting or from Jonathan and their evil troop of wannabe dark lords."  He grinned at Willow.  "I put in the last Harry Potter book."  She squealed and ran for the bag to find it and the cookies.  He grinned at the menacing military guys.  "Don't look at me.  I expected Cordy to take me and the bad boob job alien to Danny or someone."  He shrugged.  "CORDELIA!"  She reappeared, looking sheepish.  "Potty break?"

"I can't interfere in attacks."  Xander pointed.  "I saw.  Cool work, Xan."  Xander just grinned.  "Ready?"  Xander nodded, taking her hand and they disappeared.  She landed them back in the base in Colorado.   "Oma said so."

Xander shrugged and looked at the confused, staring people.  "Hi.  Had to deliver the bad boob job, flotation device alien who came to hurt the kids to Willow and Buffy since Cordry was driving.  Otherwise I would've given her to you guys."  He waved.  "Next time she shows up, I'm going to put my considerable skills at causing hell, chaos, and destruction onto her people."  He grinned at them then at Cordy.  "Report done."

"Okay."  She took him back home.  The soldiers were screaming to find out what was going on.  "They needed another drill anyway.  We were so much tighter at times."  She let him down in the living room. "There you go!"  She beamed at the kids.  "Hi, cuties!"  They all stared.  "I'm Auntie Cordy.  I work for the growly, hair gel king."  Catty grinned at her.  "You're so cute!" she said, pinching her on the ear.  "They're cute, Xander."  She beamed.  "Have fun."  She disappeared.  Someone was yelling for her.  "What, oh, cranky loud one?" she demanded as she appeared.  "I took Xander home.  Oma said I couldn't bring him here so I didn't.  I was following the rules."

"Not even Xander is allowed on a classified military base, Cordelia," Giles said impatiently, glaring at her.

She shrugged. "Not like we don't all know, Giles.  Geez, get with the program.  The little worm thingies are all happy with how Jack and Daniel look cute together this week."

"That's still not right."

She beamed.  "I'm a glowy squid girl, what do I care about military regs?  Besides, no one listens to Xander anyway.  You know that.  You didn't.  I didn't.  Buffy and Willow didn't.  Who else is going to, even if he wanted to talk?  We all know he won't and the blow up doll needed to get away from the kids.  So hey, I did the nice thing and brought her where she could get medical attention and not bust everything wide open too.  Xander was vicious when she came to grab the kids.  Pity but she should've known better.  How stupid are her people?"  She grinned at Jack as he stormed in.  "Hi again.  The worms are very happy and one won a good portion of the underground since he bet the right time for you and Danny to look so cute together."  He gaped, then slowly shook his head.  She nodded.  "He did.  He was crowing about how cute you two were."  She beamed.  "So, I took the bad floatation device alien, aka the blow up doll, and got her to someone who could help her since Xander had to injure her severely when she came for the kids.  I got Willow a new present so she's not pouting.  I got Atlantis help since Xander found out that it runs on chaos energy.  Now they appreciate and like the Xander too so maybe his kids can join that project later if they turn out really smart or something.  And hey, I didn't break any of the rules Oma put down."  She beamed.  "I deserve chocolate brownies, if I could eat them."  She faded out again.

Jack looked at Rupert.  "Is that normal?"

"For Cordelia?  Yes, it's either like that or snide."

"Willow said that one guy on Atlantis was like a cross between her and Xander," Cordy called back.  "Check the embryos, make sure he isn't one that got sent back."

"Who?" Tara asked from her corner.

"Has to be McKay," Jack said, hurrying down to the infirmary.  "Doc."  She looked over.  "An ascended just said that McKay is like a cross between Harris and Rosenburg.  She said to make sure he wasn't one really.  Like in storage."

"I'll look on the list, Jack.  Why?"

"Doc, McKay?" he said grimly.  She shuddered and went to check then.  "We can't remove it, right?"

"No, it'd warp history if he is."  She heard laughter.  "Is he?" she asked quietly.

Cordy appeared.  "Don't know.  The Powers think he's like that kid too and they're still playing what-if for the next generation's warriors."  She grinned at Jack then at her.  "One of the worm thingies won a major portion of the underground when he bet when him and Danny were going to get cute together."  She faded out.

"That's not right!" Jack called.  "We're not like that!  I'm only friends with him!"

"Then why do you coo over him holding the baby?" Cordy called back.  "Mr. Lust-a-lot, get a clue before I have to drive the clue bus.  I can do that after passing driver's ed the fourth time I took it."

Janet went back to her checking, finding that there were three embryos that were listed as Xander and Willow cross-breeds.  "The only ones I have listed are female, Jack."

"Test him when we get him back, make sure," he ordered, stomping off to report and start calming people down.  What a bad day for Danny to be off and Hammond to be fishing!

***///

Xander grinned at the Sheriff, who looked very confused.  "I used to date her.  That was Cordy."

"How did she do that?"

"The Powers That Be.  She's their messenger."

"Oh.  One of those freaky things?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay.  The person from earlier?"

"Classified.  Sorry."

"Not an issue, boy.  I'm gonna go take a nap.  That Eric boy's in the kitchen calming down.  The kids were good for us."  Xander beamed and gave him a hug then went to hug Eric too.  He walked off shaking his head.  Now he knew why the boy wasn't right.  "I can't let him date, he'll get more warped.  I've gotta warn that one girl off again.  Next time he might blow the town."

Xander grinned at Eric.  "Sorry."

"What happened?"

"Someone wanted to take the kids to experiment on.  I kicked their ass.  I had Cordy help me deliver them to someone who could kill her for trying to touch the kids.  Then I came back via the other stop so we could make a report about what happened.  It was Danny's folks."

"Oh."  He nodded, handing over a soda.  "I'm doing dinner."

"Thank you."   He walked off with his soda.  "Did you see, I have the trailer done.  All you'll have to do is turn on the water and power."

"Thanks, Xander."  He looked at the pan he was working on.  "Momma will make sure Catty's normal like me," he muttered.  "If not, Horatio will."  He kept working on dinner.  The kids were hungry and so was Xander probably.  He smelled like burning air so there had been weapons involved.  He'd have to make sure he had sent them all off again to wherever Willow was.  In fact, he decided to call Jethro Gibbs now to make sure he did that.  He reached for the phone.

"I just gave it to Willow," Xander called from the living room.  "Quit stressing, Eric."

"Yeah, sure I will."  He decided he'd call him later, from the trailer.  It could only help to get Xander more company.  He couldn't do things like that if there were people around.  Could he?

***

Daniel walked into the farmhouse a few days later.  "Xander, I have a message," he called.  Xander came halfway down the stairs only wearing a towel.  "If you *ever* show up on another classified base again, especially like that, expect to be handed a uniform, a gun, and then be enlisted for the rest of your very long life.  You broke so many laws the president was swearing."

"He did that when I took the director of NCIS back from his assistant-slash-concubine too," he said grimly.  But he did grin.  "I wasn't driving."

"It doesn't matter.  You still can't do that.  Even if you can't control her."

"Then how did you want to get the bad boob job alien back?"

"You could've called."

"Then I would've had to kept her hostage for a few days."

"You couldn't bring her directly?"

"Cordy said she got in trouble."

"So you went to *Atlantis*?"

"I was?"  Daniel nodded.  "Huh.  That probably explains why it uses chaos energy and it's alive."

"We knew about the alive part.  Thank you for showing them that area with the super rat chewing on the cables too."  Xander shrugged, leaning on the railing.  "Just don't do it again, all right?"

"I didn't mean to do it then, but Cordy was driving."

"Next time, call us.  We'll speed out to pick her up within a few hours, Xander."

"Fine.  What if you're not there?"

Daniel considered it.  "Then send Cordy with a message."

"She said she's not allowed near you anymore.  Oma or someone got pissed."

Daniel grimaced.  "Knew I shouldn't have descended," he muttered.  "Call first.  If she still won't, then try calling again.  If not, call the nearest military base, tell them that she's a runaway and she told you she had deserted or something.  They'll pick her up and hold her until we get here.  Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Thank you.  Just don't do it again."

"Yes, Danny.  I'm sorry."

"That's all right.  Hammond took a lot of pepto the next day but all the reports were done.  It only left calling the president and having him swear."

"Is he still swearing over me taking out his concubine?"

"Yeah, he mentioned something about you getting in the way too many times."  He looked outside at the pickup truck pulling in.  "There's a truck."

Xander looked.  "That's Sheriff Dinwitty."  He opened the door.  "Danny got me out of the shower, what's up?" he called.

"Haven't heard from you in a few days.  We were worried you were going more insane or blowing another pond, something like that."

Xander shook his head.  "No, not really.  I've done a bit more decorating out at the trailer.  Thinking about putting up a second one."  He looked at Danny.  "There's a trailer over there for visitation or vacations with the kids."  Danny smiled.  He grinned at the Sheriff coming up the stairs.  "Doctor Jackson, this is Sheriff Dinwitty.  He got his son the same time I did."

"Welcome to Georgia, Doctor Jackson."  He shook his hand.  "Any of the ones here yours?"

"No, mine's in Chicago with his other father.  He's a detective up there."

"Ah.  That's good I guess."  He looked at Xander.  "The woman's league at the church wants to know if they can have the kids again so they can try to keep them straight and normal."

"I'm perfectly normal," Xander pouted.

"Son, don't make me mention the pond again," he sighed, giving him a look.  Daniel laughed.  "That nice Gibbs boy did the same thing."  He looked at Xander again.  "They sleeping in?"

"Yes," Xander said with a bright, happy grin.  "They didn't want to sleep last night.  Catty wouldn't sleep until three.  They're horrible.  So yeah, if I can afford it, they can go to daycare today."

"Thanks for that.  Thinking about school yet?"

"I sucked in school," Xander said gently.  "I'm hoping they got their other fathers' brains."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at Danny.  "Staying for a few days?"

"Maybe.  I came to yell at Xander for the day you had to babysit."

"That's a good thing.  Was that woman a demon?  I've seen some ugly ones with bad cosmetic surgery before but really."

"Um, no, she's not demonic."

"Pity.  Then it could be excused.  She really should get them fixed.  One looked lopsided."  He shrugged, looking at Xander.  "How much do you pay to put them in daycare a day?"

"Twenty a day."

"If I have to, I'll spot it to you so you can mow.  I saw snakes again."

"I can do that too.  I probably have it, I just have to dig out the checkbook and write the water bill out first."  That got a nod.  "Thank you for checking."

"We love that you bring new and exciting things to the town, boy, but you're still strange."  He left, going to tell the ladies they'd probably get their wish.  Someone had to make those kids normal.

Danny looked at him.  "You're living on the pension check?"

Xander nodded.  "For the moment.  I'll start working in the spring when they're a bit older, there's construction jobs again, and everything around here is fixed."

"I guess I can understand that.  Let me call home to tell Jack I got here.  By the way, the worms are wrong.  He coos over Wyatt but we're not together."  Xander shrugged.  "Fine.  Just so you know."

"Not like I care if you're dating aliens," Xander said dryly.  "Though I would see if you needed help if it was *that* alien in particular.  Oh, and Buffy said she's too tired to scope all the hotties.  That Colonel Sheppard guy keeps her in training most of the time."

"It's probably good for her since she didn't have the traditional boot camp as a foundation.  Is she going on missions?"

"You know, we didn't get to talk that much.  I figured out it was using chaos magic, Willow drug me to look at something.  I played with a crystal that was humming off-key, then I found the rat nibbling the wires and shot it.  Found something hiding in the same tube and let Willow or someone shoot it.  Showed the guy that Willow said was like a son between me and her that it had a pulse and it was chaos energy, then there was an attack so I Noriega'd something to make them crash."

"Noriega... you use sound waves?" he guessed.

"Yeah, countered their engine and made 'em crash."  He heard a giggle.  "That's Liam.  I've got to go save my shower.  Be right back."  He hurried up the stairs to get the kids out of the bathtub and finish his shower.  Even if Liam did sneak back in and climbed in with him to get his own bath.  "Sure, you can shower today, Liam."  He cleaned him up too and got them both out and dressed, sending them down to deal with Danny.  He cleaned up the mess where Rebecca stripped her dirty diaper off and walked around without it on for a bit, then headed down.  "Sorry, Rebecca decided she didn't like her dirty diaper so she took it off and decided the walls would clean her butt for her." Danny grinned.  "Thinking about Wyatt and all your books?"

"Probably," he agreed, cuddling the kids.  It was nearly as good as his own.  "Can Jack come down?"

Xander shrugged.  "What do I care?  It's nice.  He can help mow or something.  Want coffee?"

"Please."  Xander went to start some for them while he distracted the kids.  He came out a few minutes later with two mugs and a large bowl.  "Microwave?"

"Cooked while I made the coffee."  He waved a fork.  "Eggies."  They let Danny and his coffee commune while they came to snatch bites of breakfast.  Catty swatted at Liam when he reached in at the same time but a scowl stopped that and they all ate, even Rachel, who was younger.  He saw Rebecca reaching for her diaper.  "Don't you even think about it, Bec.  Daddy Tony would scowl and have Uncle Gibbs scowl too."  She pouted but quit trying to get her diaper off.  "We'll work on potty training soon, guys."  They didn't care, they grabbed more eggs and went to play with Danny.  They hadn't gotten to play with him in a while.  Xander finished off the eggs, picking up Rebecca when she came over.  "What is with your diaper?  Are you suddenly a naked girl?"  She pouted at him.  "Want me to call Daddy?"  She beamed and patted him.  He picked up the phone and dialed.  "Here."

"Dada!" she squealed when she heard his voice.  He sounded tired.  "Sweepy?"  She giggled.  "Loves!  Dada!  Pony!"  She beamed at Danny.  "Pretty, dada, eggies, loves."  She giggled again.  "Loves."  She handed the phone to her other father and wiggled down to pet Liam again.

"She was pouting when I mentioned you as a reason why she shouldn't take off her diaper again," Xander said in greeting.  "Danny's here.  Why?"  He listened.  "Tell him I wasn't driving, it was Cordy.  She was following her orders.  So no nagging.  Oh, and tell him the Sheriff wants to have the kids in daycare today so the women there can make them normal instead of my kids."  He grinned.  "What?  Well, I took your boss back from his concubine.  Tony, until this spring all I have is the farmhouse and the kids.  If he wants me to be unbored, tell him to send me something to do."  He laughed at the suggestion.  "Well, I have had someone who left shoes on my porch," he admitted.  "And someone left towels too for some reason.  I'm thinking it's the same one who left me the dead squirrel.  This time she's suggesting we go swimming in the pond I guess.  Oh, trailer's done.  So come on down."  He hung up and got down to play with the kids.

"Want me to drive them down?" Danny asked.

"No, I need to switch to something bigger than my car," he sighed.  "I can barely fit them all in the car at the moment."  He went to get the bills to make out, checking his balance.  He had some money but not a lot.   It was getting very thin and it was only the middle of the month.  He decided to put off the electric bill until the new check came and the kids could go to daycare as often as he needed at the moment.  He looked at the son helping him.  "Liam, someday you'll have one of these too.  Just remember not to overspend and don't date a girl like Anya."  He grinned at his father.  "Speaking of, I'm going to check my balance when I get downtown, just in case.  There's no telling what Anya did and the stuff from Sunnydale should finally be in, maybe.  Come on, guys.  Daycare!"  They all ran for the door, Rachel dragging Catty.

"Let me drive half of them, Xander," Daniel offered gently.  Xander grinned and nodded so they went together.  The church was old and seemed pretty nice.  The workers came out to help and they all patted Xander and kissed him on the cheek so apparently they did like the kids.  Xander nodded at the bank.  "I can go with you.  Not an issue."

"I've only got to do a balance check.  Then I was going to head home."

"No bigger car looking?"

"Not this month."  He walked that way with Daniel following, shrugging it off mentally.  He walked in and saw the scowls.  "What?  Did I overdraw?"  One of the tellers nodded.  "How?  I haven't done the bills this month and I haven't used my checkbook in a week."

"You had an online purchase," the teller told him.  Xander shook his head.  "Yes you did."  Xander shook his head.  She pulled up the records.

Xander pointed at something.  "I don't have the internet at home anymore.  How would I have done a 'net transaction at two in the morning, and why would I be doing it at a lingerie shop my ex used to shop at?"

She gaped.  "Oh, no."  He nodded.  "Okay, let's go over it with the manager."  Xander grinned. "Your friend could go to the bakery to get something to snack on if you wanted."

"Sure.  Danny?"

"I could do breakfast," he agreed. "I hope you get it straightened out, Xander."  He left him to deal with that and call his boss to talk to him.  Someone had to do something.  "General, Danny.  At Xander's.  I did give him that message.  Did you know that he's only getting *one* check for all five kids?"  He frowned.  "Yeah, and then someone broke into his account.   He's getting that straightened out at the moment.  That's what I was thinking, plus winter's coming.  Not that it's going to get really cold down here but the kids will be needing clothes and things.  Well, he did hand over a few hundred thousand dollars of things he found lying around LA and Sunnydale," he said dryly.  "No, I think they screwed him and they know it too.  Well, he did rescue her, sir."  He smiled at the young woman behind the counter.  "Can I have a blueberry muffin and a coffee, black please?"

"The wildberry ones were just taken out of the oven," she offered.  "Still warm.  The blueberry are a few hours old, sir."

He grinned.  "Then I'll take a wildberry," he agreed, putting down a five dollar bill.  He went back to listening.  "Let's face it, General.  Xander just solved a very big problem for us.  His stuff to his friends solved others."

"Are the people who created the boys coming after them again?" she demanded.  He gave her an odd look.   "How else would they have two fathers?  I may've flunked biology but I have two of my own, mister."

He nodded.  "Negotiating on Xander's behalf with some of them.  They're only paying him one check for all five kids."  She scowled.  "That's what I'm working on with my boss.  I'm Wyatt's daddy if he ever talked about the others."

She smiled.  "He showed me a picture one day when he was pouting.  Your boy is adorable!"  She got him an extra pad of butter and handed over the creamer to him with a wink.  "There you go, sir."  She gave him his change then went to make more coffee.

Danny sat down at his table, nibbling on his muffin. It was a very good muffin.  "Hmm?" he asked since his mouth was full.  "That isn't fair.  Stan gets two for Wyatt because I forward mine to him.  Sir, I know it's been a while but how much did your wife spend on the girls in a year?"  He smirked.  "Exactly.  Plus he's not working until spring when there's new construction jobs open."  He ate another bite.  "Bank," he mumbled.  "Suspicious activity."  He nodded.  "Probably.  He said it was the same shop his ex used to shop at."  He smiled.  "You might want to get Rupert to yell at her, yes.  It could help.  Thank you."  He hung up and went back to his breakfast.  "These are really good.  You make great muffins."

"Thank you."  She smiled.  "You're military?"

"Special consultant.  I'm a languages expert and an anthropologist."

"So you can translate for nearly everyone?"

He smiled and nodded.  "About half."  She beamed.  "I can even understand Xander and his friends when they babble."

"That's a skill.  Can you understand Liam when he's babbling?"

"He hasn't babbled at me yet but maybe.  He'll grow into his father's babbling style."  She laughed and went back to the kitchen while he finished up.  By the time he got back Xander was nearly finished with the forms.  "That bad?"

"Over two thousand dollars," Xander said grimly.  He looked at the manager.  Then at Danny.  "Did you tell Giles?"

"I suggested that he yell at your ex."

"He enjoyed it sometimes."  He finished the forms and sighed, looking at him.  "How soon?"

"A week for this part.  To finish fixing it, probably within a month."  Xander nodded and shook his hand.  "Relax, Xander.  We've locked it so you have to write a check.  No more debit card access."

"Thanks.  Does it look like she's been checking the balance?"

"No, there's a denied sale."  He grimaced.  "Did you dump her?"

"Willow said the words 'I'm a daddy' and she went on a wailing rip about me not supporting her any longer.  However could I do that to her?  Because I had obviously planned it."  That got a grimace and a nod.  "So I left her back in Cali when I moved. It was kinder.  Of course, if she shows up, I'll make sure no one finds her."  He walked off looking at Danny.  "Sorry.  Anya's in deep crap when I get my hands on her."

"You'll manage it, Xander.  They can get your money back for you since you didn't consent."

"Her name's not on the account, it's not anywhere near the account.  I don't even have her new address at the house."

"Hell," he muttered.  "Well, I can tell you I talked to General Hammond.  He agreed that you getting one check for five kids is wrong."  Xander grimaced and shrugged.  "You could use it."

"I could win the lottery too and I have a better chance of doing that then making NCIS pay me better."

"We'll see.  Remember, the general is probably above her and can put some pressure on her."

Xander looked at him.  "Then they'll call wanting bloodwork again, Danny.  They've already done that once.  Not that I don't like Abby and all that, but they're not getting bloodwork."

"There might have been a reason," Danny said calmly.  "We think we've found evidence the kids were tampered with a bit."  Xander stopped and glared at him.  "Remember the day Rebecca fussed and Tony got hurt?"  Xander nodded slowly.  "She's not the only one who's done something like that.  Our people are looking at Wyatt's blood to see where it came from with Rupert's help in case it can be identified as a type."

Xander took a deep breath.  "Do you need to take more samples?"

"I'm not here for that, Xander.  I'm here to chew you a new one for popping onto the base that way."  Xander relaxed and nodded. "I'll see if Janet needs it.  She might not."  Xander nodded, relaxing fully.  "Now what?"

"Now, I've put in for a loan.  Now I get to call someone in LA and politely ask them to smack the shit out of my ex-girlfriend, and then I take her to the same court that I heard she got support out of illegally by lying.  That'll be tonight when everyone's in bed though."  That got a nod.  "She's about to be very unhappy."  He grinned.  "How was the talk with your general otherwise?"

"He said he wants you to calm down and fully retire.  Plus, Willow and Buffy will be out here in about two days."  Xander grinned.  "Buffy wanted to go home for a few days but her whole team there has two weeks of vacation.  They've earned it."  He pinched Xander on the arm.  "Now what?"

"Now, let's go home.  I know I have groceries."  That got a nod and they went home to mow and finish cleaning the house for once that week.  It was hard to clean the house with five kids.  Even if Xander did find another pair of girl shoes on his porch.  Even Danny gave them odd looks.

***

Xander looked at the judge. "But we did break up," he said impatiently.  "She went on a wailing spree."

"You agreed to take care of her."

"Until the agreement ended.  That's why we broke up.  That and she cheated on me.  I do have the right to terminate any relationship, including the one with her."

"Still, you made her human.  You are responsible for her."

"A, that was an accident.  B, she could've went back and hasn't."

"D'Hoffryn won't let me," she sneered from across the room.

Xander looked at her.  "Guess he knows what sort of woman you really are, Ahn."  She glared. "I'm not supporting you.  I don't care what court says it.  I'm not.  I'm sorry, my kids have to come first."

"You didn't have to take them."

"I'm not letting someone else raise my children, no matter how they came to be," Xander told her firmly.  "I haven't even been dating thanks to the kids, Anya."

"We're still together."

"Could've sworn I broke up with you while you were wailing about me having kids."

"It doesn't matter.  The judge said so."

Xander looked at the judge then at the herald who announced the case.  "Say my actual name please.  It's illegal not to."

He shook his head.  "It's not allowed."

"Willow's going to be back in town in two or three days.  Your choice."

"Alexander Lavelle Harris."  The doors on the courtroom burst in and a very large demon stormed in.

"You didn't have to bring a thug," the judge said grimly.  This would mean the demon's testimony would have to be considered too, not just the two arguing ones.

Xander looked at the demon.  "Problems?  I saw you waiting outside and walked around you."

"You work with Buffy," it sneered.

Xander nodded. "I did.  I retired.  I'm a father now."  The demon stopped and gave him a curious look.  "It happens.  She'll be back in a few days.  She's planning on heading home during that two weeks off."

The demon sniffed him.  "You had a child with a breeder demon," it sneered.

"No, the military used breeder demons to give me my children.  Used a scientist too."  The demon looked confused.  "The Initiative."  The demon stepped back.  "Buffy's working with the military but she's not with *them*.  She's with good people who also save the earth.  Is there a problem?"

"Yes.  We need her."

"Get the worms to give a message to their family in Colorado.  She's at Cheyenne Mountain."  The demon gave him a horrified look.  "They can pass the message back to her new people and if she can she'll help."

The demon bowed.  "Thank you, Lord Xander, Loud One."  He backed out and ran off.

Xander looked the judge.  "Technically, since that's out of the way and it was worrying me, I never said I'd support her.  She started on the 'girlfriend' things after she moved into my apartment without permission.  She came in, dropped her clothes, climbed on top, and decided sex equaled a relationship."

"She said you proclaimed her your girlfriend in front of others," the judge said.

"After she did.  I went along so we wouldn't have another fight.  The same as I was thinking about proposing to her because she was getting pushy.  I may've felt it was my responsibility to help her but that ended years ago.  Especially when she started to take the money for bills, forcing me to work overtime, and now is taking money from my children.  She didn't want my children.  She didn't want to live with me and my children.  That was her choice.  Otherwise she wouldn't have wailed and went on a crying spree.  Technically her wailing spree was her breaking up with me."

The judge looked at the papers then at him again.  "She said you allowed her access to your funds before."

"She says a lot of things that aren't fully true.  At one point in time I gave her my debit card so she could get something to eat.  She never gave it back, even when I asked.  Even when I had that account canceled.  She assumed.  It was not my intention to do that.  She works, she can support herself."

"I can't afford to live in a good place," she sneered.

"Not my fault, get a roommate."  He looked at her.  "I make just under a grand a month, Anya.  My bills with the kids come up to about seven hundred.  I can't afford to keep you.  You're more expensive than my pony is."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Hell, you're more expensive than diapers."  He looked at the judge.  "I have never had the intention of taking care of her financially.  That was her getting pushy again.  She should've been paying all her own bills.  Before I moved I warned her she'd have to start paying her own bills.  She didn't.  That's not my fault and I shouldn't be punished.  I'm sorry, but that was my children's money and should be going to them.  She can kiss my ass.  I want it back, I want it back tomorrow, all of it that she took from the beginning of our relationship.  I want her to not be able to come near my family, no matter what generation it is."

The judge grimaced. "I can not make her do that."

"Yet you magically got her into my bank account," Xander said dryly.  "She gives it back or I'll expect her to work it off helping me with the kids.  Her choice, or yours."

The judge grimaced.  "Which would you prefer, Anyanka?"

"I'll never be around those brats of his," she sneered.

"Your loss.  Even Cordelia and Angel think they're sweet."  He looked at the judge again.  "By tomorrow or I'll expect her in a control device at my place at dawn making breakfast and coffee.  Good breakfast and coffee since I have a guest from the program where Buffy's working."

"You have a guest?"

"He's babysitting tonight," Xander agreed.  "Doctor Jackson is a new friend.  Someone made him a son too."

The judge shuddered.  "Fine, Loud One.  She will pay it all back."

"You can't do that!" she shrieked.

"If he has the authority to take it, he has the authority to give it back," Xander sneered back.  "You said he had authority in this matter. You lied to him.  Do you guys have penalties for perjury?"  The judge nodded.  "Are you going to punish her?"

"If you can prove she lied."

"Can someone other than her and whoever's sitting next to her show what happened the day she found out I have children?  That way it's not edited."

The judge called in someone to do that, watching the scene.  He looked at Anya.  "It does appear she lied.  It also appears she'll be giving it all back and paying a penalty for using the court in this manner."  He looked at Xander.  "By thursday."

"As long as it all comes back.  From the moment she became human."

The judge nodded.  "That is vindictive but reasonable."  He waved a hand.  "Go.  Leave this realm before you taint it with the chaos that flows around you."  Xander nodded and left.  He looked at her lawyer.  "That would include your fees.  If you hold her liable for it that's after the court gets their punishment.  Pay the man, do it by thursday in human weeks, and I do mean this one."  He banged his gavel and the courtroom faded out, leaving them stranded.  Anya could rant and rave all she wanted.  She was stuck. They could sell her to pay Xander back if she didn't.  She burst out crying and huffed off.  The lawyer tagged her so he could find her later.  She was human so she had a soul again.  He could use that in payment.  Or something because he was sure she was...creative being a former demon.

***

Xander groaned, waking up on the couch.  Danny handed him a cup of coffee.  "Thanks.  Problems?"

"No.  They were good.  It settled?"

"Yeah but you might want to warn Buffy she's going to get a request as soon as she hits Sunnydale again.  There was a demon looking for her on the demonic court realm."  He sat up, sipping his coffee.  "She's got to pay me back for every single cent she ever took from me by thursday.  Which means I'll probably get it next month."  Danny smiled. "I know, success is very sweet in this case.  You sure they were good?"

"They were excellent, Xander.  They're still asleep.  All but Liam, who went to play with the pony again."  He sat down across from him.  "Tony went to talk to someone about the payment thing.  He thought you were getting a check for each kid."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "You did save her."

"She hates me.  The demon used worshiping me to torture her."  He took another drink.  "As long as I get one I'll be fine, Danny.  Really."

"Xander, shut up," he told him.  "You complain more than Jack does."  He sipped his coffee, smiling when a naked Rebecca snuck down the stairs.  "Where is your diaper?"

"Room!" she said proudly.  "Clean!"

"Does that mean I have to wipe off your walls or do laundry again?" Xander asked, picking her up to cuddle.  He could wash if she was still dirty.  He got up to check her old diaper and room, finding the diaper mostly dry.  He looked at her.  "Did you go potty?"   She squealed and pointed so he looked.  "Well, someone went potty.  Good girl.  We'll go make toasties for breakfast as a treat."  She squealed again and let herself be put into pull- ups for the day and then a jumpsuit looking outfit.  She loved it and it was easy to get her out of.  "Now, next time you have to go potty, tell me so I can make sure you're doing it right, okay?"  She beamed and nodded, holding up her arms so she could be carried back downstairs to help with breakfast.  It was a great treat to help Daddy cook.  She pointed and grunted at the phone.  "Sure, we'll call Daddy."  He picked it up and dialed on his way into the kitchen, handing it to her.  She squealed and babbled.  "She went potty without prompting and had a nearly dry diaper when she woke up," he called over her babble.  He looked back at Danny.  "So, anything odd happen?"

"Would that be like the girls shoes that ended up on the porch?"  Xander sighed but nodded.  "An admirer?"  Xander grimaced but nodded.  "Well, you do make a good mother, Xander."  Xander swatted at him but shook his head and went back to making breakfast.

***

In DC, Tony smiled at that news.  "That's a good job, Becca.  Daddy's very proud of you.  He'll get you a present as soon as he's not locked to his desk anymore.  Yes I will.  I'll even try to come down soon.  Such a good girl.  Even better than Liam is because you did it first.  Good girl."  He smiled.  "Hand the phone back to Daddy.  Xander, I promised her a present and a visit soon."  Xander quipped and said that'd be fine.  "Thanks for the happy news, man.  Miss you guys.  Oh, Danny's down?  That's good.  Sure.  Tell him I said hi."  He hung up and looked at the man who had handcuffed him to his desk.  "Rebecca is potty training herself," he announced.  "She woke up dry this morning and went potty before presenting her naked butt to her father.  The other morning she took off her diaper and cleaned her butt on the wall but she's learning."

McGee smiled.  "Good.  It's good for her.  A very important step."  The agent who was holding them hostage glared at him.  "He's one of the ones we had to give the daddy calls to."

The agent looked at Tony, who used his free hand to hold up the pictures.  "Poor man."

"One's Xander's," he said happily.  "The one who rescued the director."

The agent shuddered.  "I've heard about him."  He looked around then up.  Then the elevator dinged and he went to check, screaming when he was pulled in and eaten.

Tony looked that way.  "What are you?" he called.  He dialed when the panting, hairy thing came out of the elevator.  "Xander, four feet, hairy, dark red, panting, drooling, ate the guy holding us hostage?"  He listened then nodded.  "How do I subdue it?  Thanks."  He hung up and got to work on the handcuffs.

Willow appeared and kicked it in the side.  "Bad!  Bad, demon dog!  Sit down!"  It whimpered and sat, giving her a begging look.  "Bad puppy!  Go home!"  She pointed and it disappeared.  "I mean it, I can still feel you and this is the father of Xander's baby!"  It disappeared and she came over to pick the handcuff locks.  "Thankfully I was checking to see if I could come see you," she said happily.  She got him undone, going to get McGee.  "There we go."  She smiled.  "Now, what else is going on?"

"I need to talk to the director because she only gave Xander one check for five kids," Tony told her.  "Xander recently saved her."

"I heard about that.  Let's go."  She beamed.  "I can go back to my debriefing in a few."  She called Jack's phone number.  "It's me.  There was a demon puppy at NCIS so I came to take care of it.  Going to talk to the director about Xander.  Thanks."  She hung up and walked him up there.  "Did you get to hear about the bimbo flotation device lady who came after the kids?"

"I heard the swearing," he said dryly, giving her a look.

"Cordelia gave him a ride," she said happily.  It wasn't her fault.  She beamed at the director.  "Hi, Willow Rosenburg."  The woman whimpered, staring at her in horror.  "Did you realize that they're only giving Xander one check for all five kids?  Even though he's adopted one that wasn't his?"  The director slowly shook her head, looking at Tony.  One of her hands was covering her stomach but neither one paid any attention to it.

"He is," he agreed.  "Mac gets four for his three.  I give him mine for Craig.  Don gets one for Selene and Emily.  Mac gets one for Craig and one for Emily.  It's not really fair.  Especially not with him having adopted Rachel."

"Not to mention Xander being a big help to the project I'm working with.  He's sent me all sorts of stuff thanks to Gibbs helping him see that it's not good around the kids.  He even showed up once."

"I heard the swearing," she said calmly.  "You're right, that isn't right; I'll talk with someone."

"Thank you, Director.  That's what I wanted," Tony said happily.  "The guy holding us hostage got eaten but Willow drove the demon dog off."  He walked her off, finding Kate spraying perfume around.  "She banished it, boss."

"I made it go home.  It was a bad puppy.  Even if he was probably following the guy.  Guys like that taste really sweet to their kind.  They like to find Xander to get petted too."  Gibbs gave her a horrified look.  "They hate kids.  They'll never go near the kids."  Tony's desk phone rang.  "They won't nibble on the good guys or the pure or the innocent.  Though Tara said one's come to visit her a few times.  Apparently she pets like Xander does."

"DiNozzo," he answered.  "Sure, I can send her back.  Demon dog she banished.  Thanks for the lending, O'Neill."  He hung up.  "They need you back, Willow."  She waved and disappeared. He handed Kate the lysol.  "Here, then we'll get some holy water."  That got a nod and she went to work with that instead of the perfume.  "Slight holdup in getting that information to you, boss.  Probie?"

"Going to be sick," he noted.

"Do that, come back and see if you have anything on the case," Gibbs told him.  He nodded, jogging off to get sick in the bathroom.  "DiNozzo?"

"It was in the elevator.  The elevator dinged, the agent went to check, the dog ate him, boss.  Willow said guys like that smell like wet alpo to them.  She called it a bad dog and made it go away."

"Fine.  Take a walk, come back in twenty after you're calm."  Tony nodded, going to do that while he got Ducky to clean up the remains of the body. That was all he needed to know about those things.  He'd have to ask Xander how to keep them away from his team and out of the office.

***

Buffy got out of the car, looking around.  "Wow, the natives of that place with the hellmouth were right.  Less people equals a steadier hellmouth because it can't feed off them."  She smiled. "It's probably safe."  The guys got out and she pointed.  "That way used to be the college and the Initiative's base.  Xander got to blow the base up and it collapsed part of the college."  She turned and smiled at the young girl standing there.  She felt familiar.  "Faith went?"

"We heard you did," she said dryly.  "How did you make another one, Buffy?  The Watchers will want to know."

"It must be where we went through the modem wormhole thingy," Buffy said quietly, thinking about it.  That's how Willow had explained it to her.

McKay looked at her and nodded.  "That would reorganize your molecules.  It could make you read as dead if that was important to the process of calling another one."  Sometimes he wondered if even *he* could teach the girl anything.

"What he said," Buffy told her.  "So, how's my town and my mom?"

"Your mother's fine.  My Watcher introduced us and I've been going to her for mom-type advice.  She told me to dump my boyfriend last week."   She grinned.  "Hi, I'm Tamara.  I'm the slayer called after Faith."  She shook their hands.  "Is Buffy being good?  The Watchers will want to know."

"Most of the time," Sheppard agreed.  "It looks like the town mostly died when the college fell in."

"Thankfully.  We went from a twenty-eight percent homicide and missing persons rate to under three."  She beamed.  "Oh, the demon who was looking for you came here and explained it to me.  I sent him to Angel and he's handling it since it's in LA.  He's been a big help too but I can see why you had the lusties after him."  She took the senior slayer's arm and walked her on.  "Come on, guys.  It's still not totally safe around here."

"They're okay with the stakage stuff," Buffy assured her.  "Heading to Mom's, guys."  They followed, just in case.  She beamed at the junior slayer.  "Did they reopen the high school?"

"It's on the edge of town.  Someone decided having them rebuild it on top of the old one would lead to problems and possessions.  Some Hindu priest guy got called in and he said so.  Since he's my Watcher...."  She smiled at her, getting a laugh back.  "Anyway, we're doing pretty okay.  Most of the stores are still open.  Especially the bakery.  Anya's still running the Magic Box but she's been Queen Cranky for the last few days.  We heard she tried to get the demon courts to steal money from your buddy Xander.  Xander fought back and won.   Anya's been pouting about her upcoming fee payment because she shopped all the money away.  Took nearly two grand from him."  Buffy winced at that.  "Yeah.  Not a happy daddy guy."  She paused to look at her.  "My watcher thinks that one's a slayer in the making."

"If so, Xander can train her," she said firmly.  "He knows the drills very well."

"I pointed that out.  The Watchers don't want to bother him all that much.  They think he'll do to them what the demon worms said he did to the bad alien bimbo who was dumber than Anya."

Buffy nodded.  "He did kick her ass very prettily for coming after his kids."  She shrugged and they walked on.  "The demon worms heard about that?"

"Yup, heard the gossip and you *know* the chaos beings love to hear about what Xander's doing most of the time."

"Good point.  I never did figure out why they liked him."  She shrugged.  Then she pointed.  "Guys, that's where the only non-demon bar in town is.  That's the Bronze.  We spent many nights there before and after slaying."  She grinned back at them.  "They've got pool tables too."

"They just bought a new one," Tamara agreed happily.  She waved at someone.  "My watcher."  Buffy grinned and waved too.  The man nearly dropped his cup.  "Ask Rupert what happened," she called.  They kept walking, taking her to her mother's house.  "Here you are.  I didn't even call ahead so you can squeal and pounce," she said with a wink.

Buffy hugged her.  "Come get me tomorrow, Tamara.  We'll see how things have been."  That got a nod and she skipped off.  "Guys, come on.  They wouldn't dare touch my porch."  She snuck up the stairs and inside, hearing her mother in the kitchen.  She snuck that way and pounced, making her mother scream.  "Hi, Mommy."

Joyce turned around, beaming.  "Buffy!"  She hugged her.  "Oooh, are you back for a long visit?"

"Probably just a few days and I brought half my team with me, but not Willow.  She's doing something on base with the magic stuff and Giles."  She led her out.  "Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay, this is my Mom, Joyce Summers.  Mom, this is my team's leader and uber-geek that even Willow has to bow at the feet of for his geekiness."

"Charmed to meet you, boys."  She gave them each a hug.  "Come into the kitchen.  I'm making dinner."

"We had a late lunch, you don't have to go to any trouble for us," Sheppard said with a little boy's grin.

She swatted him on the arm.  "Hush, now!  I never get to fuss and Xander's kids are too far away to fuss over them."  She drug them into the kitchen, adding more food to dinner.  "So, you do what, Doctor McKay?"

"I'm an astrophysicist.  Lead one on our project."

She smiled.  "Then Willow's probably in awe.  She's been the top genius around here for a lot of years.   It'll do her good to learn from you."

"Mom, he said that Willow-babble was a new language and he'd have to learn it."

She looked at her daughter.  "It is, dear. It took me a while too.  Hers and Xander's."  She looked around.  "There's the new baby pictures on the counter, Buffy."

She looked then pouted.  "You have more current ones."

"It's hard to get them to you."

"I saw him recently thanks to Cordy and he still had earlier ones than those."

"Those only came last week, Buffy.  They're from a birthday party."  She smiled.  "You're not allergic to anything, right?"

"No, ma'am, not me," Sheppard said.  "We spend a lot of time eating MRE's.  Doctor Mckay is allergic to citrus."

"Mom, they're *so* gross.  I mean, the toilet paper was better than one of them's dinner once."

"They're not meant for taste, but for nutrition, like tofu," Joyce said gently.  She smiled at the men and got back to work.  She almost felt sorry for them because they were putting up with her very mercurial and odd daughter.  She made sure they had a good dinner and places to sleep for taking care of her baby too.  It was the least she could do.

***

Jack walked into the office Wyatt was sitting in, wailing.  "Fercryin'outloud, can't we pick him up or something!" he shouted.  "Don't let him lay there and scream."  He picked Wyatt up.  "What's wrong, little guy?" he soothed.  The baby continued to scream.  "Okay, someone find Danny, now."  They ran to do that while he sat down in the desk chair to hold him.  He called Stan while he waited.  "It's Jack.  Wyatt's having another of those screaming fits.  You okay?"  He listened to him say he was and be put on hold so he could call where Richard was.  Danny came jogging in.  "I'm on with Stan, he's checking on Rich.  He still won't quit."

"That's not colic crying," Danny agreed, taking his son to hold and putting the phone on speaker.  The music ended.  "Any idea what's going on, Stan?"

"No, not yet.  Let me try DiNozzo.  He's got contacts to find the rest of us."  He hung up and dialed there.

***

Tony answered the phone, looking concerned.  "DiNozzo.  Hey, Stan.  Let me guess, both babies are wailing in misery?"  He nodded slowly.  "Yeah, I talked with Mac and Don, they're all okay up there too.  I can't get Xander but I got Graham.  He and Riley are fine.  Yeah, exactly.  Let me try to call down there again.  Hold on."  He put him on hold and used his cellphone to call.  He let it ring until the machine picked up.  "Xander, Tony.  Call us.  The kids are all throwing a simultaneous fit.  We don't know why."  He hung up and got back with Stan.  "Still no answer at the farm.  I don't know what to do.  I'm about to fly down there.  That's not a bad idea.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and began looking for the card.  "Boss, where did I put Dinwitty's number?" he called when he saw him.

Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "Are the kids all right?"

Tony looked at him.  "No.  They're *all* screaming at once."  Gibbs frowned.  "Like Rebecca did when I had my last concussion, boss.  Only all of them.  There's no answer at Xander's and we've talked with everyone else.  Stan just called."  He went back to searching.  "Do you have it?"

"Let me check."  He hoped it was nothing.  He really hoped it was just a mass case of colic.

***

Jack looked over at a movement in the corner.  "Tara!" he yelped, getting away from the beast standing there, Danny and the baby behind him.  "GILES!  TARA!"

Tara came jogging in and paused, looking at the dog.  "Hellhound."  She knelt in front of it, letting it sniff her. It was still a young one and she wasn't prey.  She was too pure to be prey.  "What's wrong?"  It let out a baying howl.  "Hey!" she snapped.  "Tell me what's wrong!"  She stared at it until he growled and came over, staring into her eyes.  She blinked at it, then at Jack.  "It's Xander."  Wyatt let out his own howl of misery.  "Oh, damn."  She grabbed the phone and dialed the number she had memorized, in case of emergency.  "Sheriff, this is Tara Maclay, a friend of Xander's.   We think he's in trouble.  All the kids are howling?" she asked.  "They're not in daycare today?  No, all the *other* kids are howling and there's a hellhound here that likes Xander who's also howling.  We need someone to check him if you haven't seen him in a bit.  Please?"  She smiled.  "I'm with Danny Jackson.  I can call the house in about twenty minutes.  Thank you."  She hung up, looking at the dog.  "Go protect the children," she said firmly.  "Xander needs them protected.  Don't touch the sheriff."  The dog disappeared in a cloud of foul smoke.  "Cordelia!" she bellowed, standing up.

Cordy phased in.  "What?"

"Xander's having an issue?"

"Yeah, of the kidnaped variety.  The kids are fine.  Only Liam's awake.  Willow's on his couch."

"She didn't wake up when we called," Danny told her.

Cordelia nodded.  "Gas can be that way."

"Who has him?" Jack asked.

She shrugged.  "Not a clue, man.  I wasn't watching then.  I got a hint of problem when Angel's new seer freaked out about Liam being the only one awake.  I've gotta get back there."

Tara moved closer.  "Buffy's in Sunnydale.  Get her if Willow's unconscious.  Can you?"

She considered it then nodded. "The Powers like the kids.  Sure."  She left, heading to where Buffy was working out with Tamara.  "Yo," she called.

Sheppard looked back at her.  "Now I know why we got sent these two."

Cordelia smiled.  "They're born and bred for slaying and combat.  Buffy, major probs!  Someone took Xander, left the kids with a knocked out Willow.  No one can get her up."

She ducked a blow and tossed Tamara on her back.  "Can you get me there?"

"I can do that this time."

"No, we're all going," Sheppard told her.

"No, you travel the normal way," Buffy said.  "I can handle it for a few hours."

"We have no idea where we're going," McKay complained.

"Rural Georgia.  Mom has the address."  She grabbed her overshirt.  "I'll try to be back in a few, Tamara.  Warn Mom."  She took Cordelia's held-out hand and they disappeared.  Unfortunately with McKay since he had been within touching range.  "Huh," she said, looking at him.  "Okay, welcome to Xander's farm."  She saw the man on the porch.  "You are?"

"Sheriff Dinwitty.  I've seen the boy do that.   You a friend?"

"I'm Buffy; this is one of my coworkers, Doctor McKay.  What's going on?"

"Boy's missing.  The house smelled like knockout gas.  I've got a call in to the Feds.  We can't wake the other one up."

"I can handle that," McKay said, going to check her over.  He wasn't that sort of doctor but he could annoy anyone until they woke up.  He looked at the young boy staring at him from Willow's chest.  "Is she going to be all right?"  The baby sniffled and shook his head.  "Perhaps we should have an ambulance for her," he called, moving the baby to another seat.

Buffy came in.  "Hi, Liam."  She picked him up to cuddle.  "We'll find the daddy.  Don't you worry."  She grabbed the phone when it rang.  "It's Buffy."  She listened.  "Not here, the house smelled like knockout gas.  Sheppard's swearing up and down he's on his way here.  McKay came with Cordy and I.  Willow won't wake up and the kids are still here, or at least Liam is," she reported.  Rodney gave her an odd look.  "Danny and Tara."  She listened.  "The Sheriff's called.  Here, Sheriff."  She handed over the phone and Liam.  "Hold him, don't play with his hair.  Xander said he hates it."  She headed up the stairs once he was uncomfortably holding the baby, checking on them.  "Sheriff, Catty and Rachel are here too and won't wake up either," she yelled.

He nodded then hung up, going out to his truck.  "I'm at the Ferguson farm.  Someone's kidnaped the Harris boy.  His female friend and three of the kids are here.  Only Liam's awake.  Smells like knockout gas.  Get here now."  He hung up his radio and came back.  "Let's move him to the trailer, son.  It's safe, he's gotten rid of the snakes.  The pony'll follow, it loves him and guards him.  Throw the switches to have power and water."  He nodded, heading that way.  An ambulance followed by two official SUV's pulled in.

Buffy came jogging down.  "The two babies are upstairs.  Catty's allergic to oranges if it matters.  Rachel doesn't have any allergies.  Willow's the one on the couch.  Rachel's the younger baby."  The paramedics ran inside to check on them.  She looked at the Sheriff. "Has anyone called anyone like Tony?"

"They're FBI.  Kidnaping is their thing," he told her.  He got her out of the way.  "I got called because someone thought something might've happened.  His kids wail when he gets so much as a papercut."

"That's fine," one agent said.  "Who else was in here?"

"Me, Doctor McKay, the Sheriff," Buffy told him.  She got sneered at.  "Not like I'm going to leave the kids in here, dumbass."  He glared.  "Rodney!"  He came jogging over.  "Insult them for me.  You're *so* much better at it and I only want to kill at the moment."  He started on the agent for her.  One of the paramedics was bringing down Rachel.  "That's Rachel.  She's...just over a year if I remember right."  That got a nod.  "The sheriff said he smelled knockout gas."

"He told us, ma'am."

"I'm a Buffy.  I'm an aunt.  I'll be calling daddies later."  That got a smile and a nod.  "She only has Xander so I'll handle her."

"That's fine, if that's what he'd want."

"Probably.  I'll look for official paperwork later on."  She got out of the way of the one carrying Willow then looked around the living room.  "What's with the ho shoes?" she asked.  Everyone stared at her so she pointed.  "Willow doesn't wear ho shoes.  Xander doesn't wear girl shoes.  So what's with the clubbing ho, platform shoes?  There's eight or nine pairs in there."

"He said he'd been having things left recently," the Sheriff admitted.  "We thought it was a girl in the next town who was sweet on him.  She left him a dead squirrel once."  That got a nod from one agent.  The other was still cowering away from the doctor guy.  "Hey, Doc, what's your field?"

"Physics.  I work with the military.  By the way, they'll be called in soon since the young man, who is the father of those children, is under their oversight.  Someone can call Gibbs or DiNozzo now or I can let Miss Summers do it quickly.  Any questions?"  They shook their head.  "Good!"

Buffy smiled. "I'll go watch Liam.  Did the pony follow you?"

"I haven't seen a pony," he admitted.

"I'll look," the Sheriff promised.  He went jogging out to check. That pony was *always* near the boy when he was awake.  He came back in, leaning in the doorway.  "The pony bit someone and kicked 'em too.  There's blood on her hooves."  They came out to check and gather samples.  He looked at the doctor.  "Second button on the phone is NCIS.  Call.  Now."  He went to help with the baby.  The girl didn't look too sure about what to do with them.  "He's not potty trained yet, Buffy.  Only Rebecca is."

"That's fine.  I'm sure we can work on that."  She smiled and walked out with the baby.  "How soon before I can get him in there and cleaned up."

"It's a crime scene," one agent sneered.

She kicked him in the back, sending him flying.  "I know that, dumbass.  It's also their home.  We're staying here in case whoever it is calls.  Now, how fucking long!"

"Bad," Liam said with a scowl.  "Bad bad!"  His father would be so proud of his scowl and making her not swear.  He knew he would.  He could scowl at the bad things just like his daddy did.

"I know it's a bad word but your daddy has me worried, Liam.  Otherwise I wouldn't say bad words.  I don't even when bad guys attack me."  The agents all stared at her.  "I help on the same military project Doctor McKay does.  I'm in security."  They got back to work and she looked at the Sheriff.  "He's calling someone?"

"He's calling DiNozzo.  You should call his daddy too."

"I can do that."  She went to take the phone from her coworker, listening to the fit on the other side.  "Shut up!" she finally yelled back.  "You're keeping us from notifying fathers and if there's a ransom demand being called you're keeping that off too!  Do shit and quit arguing with me."

"Bad!" Liam yelled louder.

"I know.  It's a bad word too," she sighed.  She hung up and called another number.  "Horatio, Buffy.  Xander's house smells like knockout gas.  The only one up is Liam and Xander's missing.  Catty and Rachel went to the hospital with Willow.  Yeah, there's stupid people here.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "Xander said the pony doesn't live in the barn!  She won't go in so when you're done turn her loose!"  She took the baby back from McKay.  "Thanks."  She smiled and walked out.  "I'm not used to serious apocalypses anymore.  We never have these at the base."  She walked him back to the trailer, finding the switches on.  "Okay, Liam.  Can you play in here and be a good boy for me for one half hour?  One cartoon?"  He beamed and nodded.  "That's my good nephew.  We'll get daddy back very shortly.  Otherwise Auntie Willow can try to destroy the world or something."  She shut him inside and went to look over their shoulders.  "Would Horatio approve of that?" she asked.  The agents all sneered at her.  "Liam's other daddy is Horatio Caine, out of Miami.  I know he does that sort of stuff too."  They gaped.  "He's under oversight because someone with a microscope and a grant made the babies.  Now, would he approve?"

"No," the Sheriff said.  "How soon?"

"He said he's getting someone to fly him and Eric up.  He was talking within two hours."

"That'll work.  Boys, let's do this for real.  I doubt the boy walked himself off."  She shook her head.  "We may be a small town but Harris has weapons experience.  He blew the land to make the pond."

"He's *that* Harris," McKay told them.  "Formerly of Sunnydale."   He had seen that reaction around the base from some of the people who had heard of their former town.  Especially the Initiative people.  The agents all backed away from Buffy.  "Yes, she is too.  We're all impressed with her Cro-Magnon strength and skills.  Let's not piss her off further, all right?  I've already had to deal with her menstrual cycle madness once this month.  It was more than enough."  He walked off to call someone else.  "It's me.  We're fine.  He's been taken.  Only one of the children is awake.  Buffy's threatening federal agents."

"Can the Colonel come help me threaten?" Buffy called after him.  "You and he threaten *so* much better and I'm sure he outranks these dweebs."

Cordelia faded in with John and their bags.  "Your mother said to find whoever took Xander and to kick their asses plentifully.  The Powers are *pissed* and ranting.  Nearly as bad as that Gibbs guy.  Anyone else I can help with?"

"Get Horatio," the Sheriff ordered.  "And Gibbs if you can."

"Can and will," she agreed happily.  "The Powers want this stopped before Xander pulls his usual thing.  He might end humanity this time so they don't want that."  She disappeared, landing in between the shouting people.  "SHUT UP!" she bellowed.  They all stared at her.  "Horatio, I'm here to pick you up.  Get shit.  Now.  Chop-chop!"  He grabbed Eric's scene kit, checking it and his gun.  "Good enough.  Let's go.  Hotty one, Catty's in the ER.  She wouldn't wake up according to Buffy.  She's at the farm.  There's idiots in charge, and no, I don't mean the nice local sheriff who thinks Xander's a bit demented."  She disappeared with Horatio and the scene kit.  They landed in DC.  "One other stop."

"Coming," Tony ordered.

"Buffy said Gibbs. There's idiots in charge.  Plus, don't you have Rebecca?"

Tony scowled.  "I have a sitter at the moment.  Boss!"  He came out with two kits.  "Let's go, Cordelia.  Unless we're over the max weight."

"Please, not even close to Xander and the alien bimbo to another galaxy thing."  She faded off, taking them with her.  "Here ya go," she said proudly.  "The Powers are hopping up and down pissed.  Fix it before Xander has to rescue himself.  If he does he might end humanity and that'd be bad."

"Gentlemen," Horatio said firmly, heading that way.  "Move, now."  They all glared.  He glared back.  "None of you are qualified to gather evidence.  Get out of my way."

"You're related.  The blonde, yappy one said so."

Gibbs strolled over, talking on his phone.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "DiNozzo, arrest them for pretending to be agents.  They were fired last night when they let someone break into a classified weapons storage area for gas grenades.  Question them, no bruises."

"Oooh, let me," Buffy said, letting Tony help her walk them off.

Gibbs looked at Horatio.  "Do what you do best.  I'll back you up."  He nodded, getting to work on the pony since it was clear they had been working on her.  "Sheriff."

"Gibbs.  The house smelled like knockout gas."  Buffy let out a shriek and one of the guys yelled.  "That didn't sound good."

"That's a 'my ex did something stupid' scream," Horatio said grimly.  "Calleigh does that now and then."

"Kate too," Gibbs admitted.  He looked the other guys watching.  "Well?"

"We're not going near her until she's calm," Sheppard assured him.

"Even he's not that dumb," McKay agreed, walking off.  "Liam's in the trailer by himself."

"Good, keep him out of trouble, Doctor McKay."  He got odd looks.  Gibbs smirked.  "I'm the one who had to gather fathers.  Did you know you had one, McKay?"  He shuddered and hurried off.

"Please tell me it's in cold storage?" Sheppard asked.  Gibbs nodded, looking smug.  "I'll let him tell Janet to kill it off if possible.  Before that kid smugs us all to death."  He went to check on Buffy and Tony, who was holding Buffy back.  "What happened?" he asked calmly.

"Riley Finn took him," Tony said, handing her over.  "Here, you hold her."

"He's cute but not deadly enough for me," she said grimly, getting free.  "Thanks anyway."

"You know, Ronon is single," Sheppard joked.

She grinned.  "No he's not."  She strolled off, going to tell them.  "Gibbs, it's Riley.  He's been sending the ho shoes too."

"Crap," he muttered.  "Any idea where he is?"  She shook her head.  "Then we can use that to find him.  These shoes?"

"In the house, in the living room, by the fireplace."  He nodded, going to look at them.  She took the pony once Horatio had let it out of the stall, walking her off.  "Come on, Liam's in the other house."  She walked her over there, letting the pony see the boy through the doorway of the trailer.  "Xander always said you're a good guard pony for Liam."  She gave her a pat and left her there.  "Hey, Doc, it's my ex.  He was sending the ho shoes too."

"So he thinks your friend is a girl?" he asked.  "Was he born that inferior or was it the meddling of that group he was part of?"

She grimaced.  "Not likely.  I've seen them both naked."  She went to help again but Tony made her help him so she'd be out of the way.  "Yes, Tony."

"Thanks, Buffy.  Carry them to the Sheriff's truck please?"  She nodded, picking them up one at a time to do that.

Sheppard came out with their bags, putting them in the trailer too.  "We can share out here for now.  At least until they release the house or we know something."  McKay just nodded at that, going to look in the kitchen cabinets.  Liam walked over and stared at him.  "What's wrong, little guy?"  He bent down when the baby made grunting and pointing noises, letting him feel his hair.  Then the baby walked off shaking his head.  "You have very pretty hair too, kiddo."

"His name's Liam and all the girls love to play with his hair.  He scowls and swats when they try," Tony told him as he walked over.  The pony got in his way.  "You know me.  Rebecca's mine."  She sniffed him then let him pass.  "Good girl.  Thank you."  He patted her on the neck and came in, making Liam squeal.  "Hi, Liam!"  He gave him a hug.  "Did the paramedics look you over too?"

"He was up and wandering when we got here," McKay told him.

"He hates it when people do things without him watching," Tony said with a grin.  "It'll be fine, guys.  Xander fought with Buffy since he was sixteen or so.  He can survive a kidnaping."  He handed Liam to Sheppard.  "He can follow the pony around if he wants.  He often does."  He left to get back to work.  "Boss, checked on Liam.  He's awake and trying to see what's going on with the one guy's hair."  Buffy snickered at that.  "I warned them he scowled when you played with his back.  It'll be fine.  Can you get him some clothes and diapers just in case, Buffy?  His room has ponies."

"Sure."  She went to do that, coming down with a small basket.  "Here we are.  His teddy, a few toys, a few diapers and diapery things, and some clothes."  She brought it out there once Tony had checked it.  "Here, baby stuff."  Liam grabbed his bear and settled in to cuddle it.  "It'll be okay, Liam.  I promise it will be.  Nasty Riley is having a stupid-head day and we'll beat him until it's fixed."  She smiled and walked off again to bug them for information or to give information on what Riley was trained to do.

"I almost pity her ex when she finds him," Sheppard said, sitting down next to the baby.  "That's why I'm staying in here."

"You're clearly not as stupid as your hair makes you look then," McKay said dryly.  "I have a lot of staples but nothing to go with them."

"Raid the kitchen," Gibbs called.  "We can clear it."  He did that and some of the food came out to the trailer so they could eat with the baby.  Because he was a little begging monster once he saw the potato chips.  McKay could appreciate the way the boy stocked his cabinets when he found the locked one with the cookies, candy, and hostess products lining the shelves, stealing some of those for himself.  His blood sugar did tend to plummet.

***

Xander blinked at the man who came in with the gun.  "Who're you?" he asked hoarsely.

"I'm with the FBI, sir.  What's your name?"

"Xander Harris.  I'm from Georgia.  I was kidnaped by an idiot Riley Finn who wanted me to be a girl so he could have babies the normal way."  He blinked hard again.  "I'm tired."

"I know you are.  Let me get the cuffs off you and we'll get paramedics here."  Xander shook his head slowly.  "No?"

"Concussion, thirsty, hungry.  He left yesterday."  That got a nod and the cuffs were sawed open.  "Thank you."  He was helped into a sitting position.  "I need to call home.  Someone's got to be with my kids."

"We can do that from the office, Mr. Harris.  Don't worry about it," he said calmly.  He helped him up and outside. Xander looked up and swore.  "What?"

"I'm in LA?"

"You are.  Are you from near here?"

"I'm originally from Sunnydale, about three hours away."  He looked at the paramedics.  "Water?"  A bottle was handed over.  "I have a concussion.  I've got bruises on my side of my abdomen."  He finally got the water open.  "Haven't drank since yesterday."

"Are you a doctor, sir?"

Xander looked at him. "I'm from Sunnydale."  He took another drink and watched one of them shudder.  "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" that paramedic asked.

"I've got kids in Georgia.  I have to get back there.  Besides, not much the hospital can do for a concussion that an alarm clock can't tonight." That got a nod and they finished checking him over, leaving without him.  He looked at the agent.  "Did you catch Finn?"

"No, we got an anonymous tip that there was a kidnaping victim inside."  He nodded at the truck.  "We need to get a statement, Mr. Harris."

"Sure."  He got off the tailgate and walked around to get in, letting him shut it so he didn't touch something he shouldn't.  He climbed in slowly so he didn't aggravate his side, then buckled up.  "How long has it been?"

"Three weeks.  You have some fairly frantic friends."

"That's probably why Riley took off.  Buffy's going to kick his ass if she heard. She's his ex."  That got a nod and they headed off.  He glanced back at the building then around.  "LA's actually quiet tonight.  Angel must be happy."

"Angel?"

"A friend who helps those who need it."

The agent glanced at him.  "Okay."  He kept going.  He wasn't going to try to decode this one's issues.  He needed to get him to the office so they could take a statement and then send him home.   He saw him shift.  "You sure you don't want the ER?"

"No, I'm fine.  I have bruises on my side.  They'll heal and there's nothing they can do for them either."

"Sure."  He sped up when they hit traffic, going for his lights so they could get back to the building faster.   He grinned at him.  "We'll never get there if I don't."

"I don't mind.  I do the expedient thing when I'm in trouble usually."  He shrugged a bit.  That got a small smile and the guy sped up more once they hit a side street.  Xander leaned his head back and relaxed.  "Any news from my house?"

"We weren't even sure who you are.  I can check the file when we get to the office, kid."

"Thanks."  He blinked a few times at the flashing lights going overhead.  He looked back then at him.  "Why are they going out?"

"No one's sure.  They've been doing it for a few days."

"Huh."  He considered it but Angel would have it if it was a demon.  They got back to the building, the lights and siren being turned off the block before, and he got Xander up to his office area.  "Hmm, pods," Xander said dryly.  The agent laughed at that.  "You can't tell me half of them aren't."

"No, can't do that.  Sit, Mr. Harris.  Let me look up the file."  Xander sat in his spare chair and let him get into the file.  He found it listed.  "Hmm, two metropolitan police departments, one rural one, and NCIS are in the reports."  He looked it over.  "It says your pony kicked someone.  There was blood on her hooves."

Xander looked at his side then at him.  "She might've gotten me.  If there's blood it's probably what happened to Riley's left thigh.  He was majorly bruised and aching.  I'm just glad he changed out what he had me in before he left."  He got an odd look.  "He was sending me ho shoes for the last month," he said dryly.  "Leaving them on the porch."

"I'll make sure no one but the prosecutor sees that part of the file."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks.  I doubt my kids need to hear that some day.  Who's with my kids?"

He went back to the file.  "It says that the children are being taken care of on-site by a semi-relative and most are with other parents?"  He looked at him.

Xander grimaced.  "No one around here got calls from NCIS about embryos someone with mental issues created?" he asked quietly. That got a slow head shake.  "I have five from them.  One adopted, four mine."  The agent shuddered.  He nodded.  "That's why I retired from Sunnydale and moved to Georgia.  By the way, Riley's a commando from the same project.  Team leader."

"I'll put that into the report so we can hopefully find him."

Xander dialed a number he remembered.  "They found me."  He listened to the excited babble.  "McGee, head hurts.  Slow down.  I know Riley had me.  He left yesterday after giving up.  I'm in LA.  Here, talk to the nice agent."  He handed it over. "He can brief you on Riley."

The agent took the phone.  "This is Agent Epps."  He dug out the bottle of tylenol and handed it over.  "Here, kid.  Coffee's in the break room.  Make more if you take the last of the pot."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks."  He found the break room with a bit of wandering, walking in with a nod for the female agent in there.  He found the pot empty.  "Agent Epps said I could make some to take the tylenol with.  Where's the coffee stuff?"

"Cabinet above it.  Are you an agent?"

Xander gave her a weak smile.  "He just found me."  He poured out the old filter and its contents then pulled down the new filter and bag of coffee, filling it.  Then he blinked.  When he opened his eyes she was next to him looking worried.  "I'm fine.  Concussion."

"You should be in the hospital.  You blacked out."

He looked at her.  "What're they going to do that an alarm clock can't?"

"They'll have actual people who can check on you."  She got him some of the brewing coffee, letting him take the pain killers.  "Come on, let's talk to Don."  She walked him out by force.  "Don, he blacked out while making coffee."

"The smell was great," Xander quipped.  "I'm fine.  I need to get home to Georgia.  I can't leave Buffy with my kids, they'll talk like LA princesses.  Even my son."

"They might not let you fly with a concussion," she said patiently.

Xander looked at her.  "Who said I'd tell them?"  He went back to his coffee, staring at the agent.  "McGee calm down?"

"Yeah, he did.  Embryos?"

Xander grinned.  "They got you too?  Baseline or special brains part?  My fellow fathers figure the special brains are the mothers."

Epps choked and shook his head.  "Special brains.  My brother's a math genius."  He could like this guy, even though he was a bit strange and young.

Xander nodded.  "My best friend's probably lusted over his brains then.  She's a compu- geek and other sorts of brains."  He sipped some of the coffee.  "What do you need to know?"

"Let's go over how this started."

"With....."

"This special program he was part of."

"It's closed, classified, and I'm told I don't have that good of a security rating yet," he said bluntly.  "McGee does, he can tell you what you need to know."  He stared at him.  "I'm not going to prison for busting that info out.  I love my kids."

"Fine.  He's a soldier?"  Xander nodded.  "Infantry?"

"I guess.  I don't know what he was before they got him.  Now he's got two kids from the same people.  He's a hunter too.  He hunted with us in Sunnydale."  Megan stepped back giving him a horrified look.  He grinned.  "I'm *that* Xander Harris, yes.  Buffy's apparently watching my kids for me at the moment.  Riley's her ex."

"From the Initiative?"  Xander nodded.  "Damn it, I saw something on them.  A few teams are with the UN."

"Riley's not because they gave him the daddy call too."  He finished his coffee and put the paper cup down.  "Thanks for that.  Needed the caffeine.  Now I can think again.  Oh, watch for panicking, babbling people.  I know a few locally too."

"Sure, kid."  She went to call someone to get that file opened for them.  The ACIS person she talked to was not pleasant but oh well.  "Hollis, it's Megan ... yes, with the Epps brothers.  We just found Mr. Harris after a Riley Finn kidnaped him from his home in Georgia.  That's what we need, yes.  Oh, and he said something about daddy calls and someone named McGee said something about embryos?  We're in the office.  Thanks.  Just his file if you want and that information.  Thank you."  She hung up and leaned back in her desk chair.  "Don, incoming fax of Finn's military file and enough on whatever they got from Charlie."  She smiled at Xander.  "You have how many?"

"Four born.  One I adopted.  A lot more in storage," he admitted.  She smirked at that.  "They thought I was a good baseline set of skills.  They also hated me."  He shrugged and winced.  "Sorry, bruises."  He looked at the fax machine when it started.  "That was fast  even for Gibbs team."

"I've heard of his team," Epps admitted, getting up to get the information.  He came back with the formal report and a list of his brother's name with a few other names beside it.  "His file is still coming.  What's this?"

Xander looked.  "Stored embryos."  He pointed.  "Special brains, baseline, sex.  They're all with a program in Colorado and he can tell Gibbs to tell the people storing it to destroy them if he'd rather.  As long as both parents agree it'll be done.  The program that's holding them is very good, we all trust them and I don't trust many of you guys."

Epps nodded at that, putting it aside.  "I'll have him talk to you later."

"I was grunt, baseline used, Agent Epps.  I'm not a science sort.  That's why McGee was doing the notifications.  So he could explain all that stuff."

That got a single nod and they went over the report of what happened, adding the new information to it.  He saw Xander fade again and looked over.  "We're going to the ER.  Even if he doesn't like it.  Don't tell Charlie, I'll do that later."

"Sure.  Are we sending him back?"

"We probably should as soon as he's cleared."  He got up and his touch on the boy's arm made him flinch and wake up.  "Come on,  you're going to the ER.  That's the second time you blacked out."

"I'm just really tired, Agent Epps."

"Tough, kid.  Even I have to go.  Besides, you don't want to be sick when you get home. You won't be able to play with your kids."  He walked him off, taking him to the closest ER.   He walked the boy inside.  "This is a kidnaping victim, Mr. Harris.  He said he's got a concussion and dehydration.  We've fed him a bottle of water and some coffee and tylenol.  He's got a few bruises as well.  He's been blacking out."

"Sure," the nurse agreed, putting him down.  "It's going to be a short wait this time of night, Agent Epps."

"I understand that," he assured her.  He led the boy to the waiting area.

Xander stared at the people across the room.  "Fred."  She turned and looked at him, squealing and coming over to hug him.  "Easy!  Riley kidnaped me."  He hugged her back, looking at her.  "Who got hurt this time?"

"Wesley.  It's a long, complicated thing but Angel has his own son now.  Wolfram and Hart brought him into being."

"Better than the military," he quipped.  He nodded at the others.  Cordelia and Gun were sitting over there.  "Hey."

"Hey," Gunn said with a smile.  "We heard you got taken.  We'll call Buffy when we get back.  English has his throat nearly slit to the bone."

"Ow.  Willow should be with Buffy if he needs a healing spell or something."

"I'll ask him when we get to see him."  He nudged Cordelia.  "You're not going to say hi to your ex?"

"She's not Cordelia," Xander said bluntly.  They both gaped at him and so did the agent.  "I know Cordelia.  Even when she's pissed at me she would've recognized my existence somehow.  That's not her."

"She got deascended," Fred told him.  "She might not remember."

Xander looked at her.  "I know others.  They still know their friends.  She'd still know what she had done as an ascended one too," he said quietly.  He stared at Cordelia again.  "Are you?"

"No," she sneered, standing up.  "Worthless mortal.  How dare you question me."

Xander stood up.  "Come on, bitch.  You don't take what was mine."  She sneered and rushed at him, making a nurse shriek.  "Calm down, stay out of the way," he ordered, taking her on and getting her down.  "Damn, thingie, Cordy fights *better* than that.  Even if she doesn't like to mess up her hair."  She struggled and he let her free, watching her next move.  She manifested some energy in her hand.  "Uh-huh.  With the way that stuff goes around me and you're gonna try it?" he joked.

"I know of you, Loud One," she sneered.  "I see why you got your name."  She threw the spell at him but it bounced off the floor and back at her, making her shriek and burn up in the span of a breath.

Xander looked at the ashes, then at Gunn, then at Fred.  "Told you it wasn't Cordy.  She didn't make any alien boob job jokes."  They gaped.  "Now, let's figure out where she really is.  Cordelia?" he called plaintively.  She phased in, giving him a clueless look. "You couldn't stop the not-you?"

"Oma's laws."  She shrugged.  "Fred, Wes could *really* use a healing spell."  She smiled at Xander.  "You looked so cute in the shoes."

"If you ever mention that or manifest pictures, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you," he said with a sweet smile.  "The kids don't need that and Riley was confused."

"Very confused.  Having you be the mommy for his next kid would've made you destroy the universes."  She kissed him on the forehead.  "Go see Wes for me please?"  She smiled at the agent.  "Yes, we're all very used to the strange.  That's why you should ignore me."  She looked at Fred again. "Go.  Shoo!  He's got to get back before Buffy finishes teaching that grumpy scientist guy and Catty what flirty skirts are for."  Xander whimpered, walking off shaking his head, Fred, Gunn, and the agent trailing him.  She beamed at the nurse.  "Sorry the not-me caused a mess, but hey, not vampires."  She faded out again.  She had to go torment Angel, he was being a prick.

Xander found Wesley's room, walking in to look at him.  "Damn, you look like my head feels."  He got a small smirk in return.  "They found me, finally."  He gave him a gentle hug.  "Willow's at my place.  Want a consult on a healing spell?"

"I'll heal," he said quietly.  "It's my own fault."

"Wes, you did what you thought was right.  I've done the same thing.  Who said that it's not the right thing in the long run?"

"He handed Angel's baby son to someone," Gunn told him.

Xander looked at him.  "Can you see Angel walking a colicky baby?  Changing diapers at two in the afternoon?"  They all shook their heads.  "Where's the other one?"

"With a good foster mother for us," Fred agreed.  "It was dangerous to have him there."

"And it wasn't for Angel's son?"

"He has the slayer's mark," Wesley said weakly.  They both stared at him.  He nodded slightly.  "They'd come for him.  I kept him from the enemy.  Barely."

"Hey, it's a good thing," Xander told him.  "Who has him?"

Wesley smiled.  "Joyce will have him by in the morning."  He looked at Gunn.  "He'll be raised a normal, loving child."

"Good," Gunn agreed.  "Angel's still not going to let it go.  What happens if that Holden guy gets him?"

Xander blinked hard then shook his head.  "Then you explain it to him.  He'll be back in a few weeks."  He looked at Fred.  "The Variex prophecy song is about the kid?"  She gaped but shook her head.  He nodded.  "Yeah, it is.  He'll be back in a few weeks.  As soon as he shows up you've got to *show* him what he needs to know.  Including that he wasn't to go to Holden.  He's the next generation of warrior, Fred.  When you're all gone he'll be left standing."  He held his forehead.  "I hate those.  Thanks, Cordy, still have a concussion," he said dryly, looking up with a frown.  He looked at Wesley again.  "At least you'll have scars that'll be a good pickup line," he said with a grin.

"Indeed.  You should probably sit.  You're extremely pale."  Xander snorted and dialed the phone next to Wesley's bed, handing to him.  "Buffy?  Wesley.  No, injured.  Could we borrow Miss Rosenburg?"  He watched as Xander passed out.  "Someone really should put Xander into a bed.  This is a hospital."

"He's waiting to be treated," the agent said, looking confused.  "Nurse?"  She came hurrying in.  "He passed out."

"I'm not surprised!"  She helped him carry the boy into an empty room, checking him over.  "Do we know what's wrong?"

"He said concussion, bruises, dehydration."

"Uh-huh.  They can have adjoining rooms then.  That way their friends don't have to change floors."  She got to work fussing over him and laying in an IV after drawing some blood.  "I'll have the doctor in here within a few minutes, Agent Epps."  She hurried off to make that report and let the doctor know he was going to be admitting this one.  He was too stubborn for his own good.

Willow strolled in a few minutes later, looking at Xander.  "Too bad I can't heal concussions."  She stroked over his head, making him moan.  "Hey, wakey wakey time, Xan."  He blinked at her.  "You took a total header at Fred's feet, my man."

"Babies?"

"They're fine.  We've been countering Buffy's bad habits a lot.  McKay keeps sending her out to do something like chop wood when she gets annoying."  She grinned.  "He'll get to come home when?"

"Probably within a few days," Epps said.  "Who're you?"

"Willow Rosenburg."  She shook his hand.  "His medical power of attorney when he takes headers into the floor."  She grinned.  "Not that I'm usually around at the moment."  She looked at Xander again.  "You need a nap."  He shook his head.  She nodded. "The only way to heal, Xander.  I can't heal concussions like I could partially close Wes's throat."  She kissed him on the forehead.  "Good job with the not-Cordy." She smiled and left, going back to the other room before disappearing.

"I have some very strange friends," Xander said, trying to sit up.

"You move and I'm handcuffing you," Epps promised, giving him a look.  The nurse came back in with a doctor.  "He's stubborn."

"They usually are," he agreed.  "Mr...."

"Harris.  Xander Harris."  The doctor gave him a horrified look.  "Retired, doc.  I need to get back to my kids.  Buffy's watching them."

He shuddered.  "Let us keep you overnight and we can release you back to Sunnydale."

"Georgia.  I moved when I retired.  Didn't want the kids to be on the slaying society's rosters too."

"Good."  He stared at him.  "Before you ask, I know Rupert."

"Gee, so do I.  He's in Colorado."

"I'll tell the others.  You did see the mark on Selene?"

"And I told the idiot who showed up to bugger off since he'd probably understand that better than the less polite version.  I pointed out I could easily train her if she got called."  That got a nod and he got to work on him.  "Will I live?"

"For a very long time, Harris.  Only the good die young."  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "You blew up the Initiative's base, kid.  I wouldn't call that good."

"Buffy said it was the right thing to do.  The death rate's down too from what I've heard."

"Rosenburg said she found evidence of others and there being less people around them helps keep them closed."  He finished his exam.  "You're right."

"Duh," Xander said dryly, giving him a look.  "An alarm clock every few hours?"

"Fat chance.  It's a severe concussion. You're staying overnight, Harris.  Then the nice agents can get you back home to your family.  By the way, what is Buffy doing?"

"Ask Giles.  She's working at the same place as him, Willow, and Tara."

"Aw, crap," he muttered, walking off making notes.

"I love brightening people's days by showing up," he quipped to the nurse.

She smiled back, shaking her head.  "Haven't heard him that upset since he saw the British guy earlier."

"They're from the same people."

"Oh.  That explains that.  You're even going on the same floor as him."

"That's fine."  He waved a hand.  "Can I nap?"

"Go ahead.  We'll wake you up in a while, Mr. Harris."  He yawned and nodded, letting himself drift off.  She looked at the agent.  "Should we worry?"

"The guy who did it fled, you shouldn't."

"Good."  She smiled and left.  "We'll be moving him in a bit.  You can come back in the morning for a statement or whatever."  He nodded at that, sitting down beside the bed for now.  That Fred girl came in.  "He's napping."

"That's a good thing to do."  She smiled.  "We can watch him, Agent Epps.  Don't worry about Xander."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure.  We'll be watching over him and Wes both."  That got a nod and he left.  "Good luck catching Riley.  See if his kids are local."  He looked at her.  She smiled. "He'd want to see them."

"Thanks for the info."  He went to check on that.  He found his brother scowling at the list.  "Some crackpot with a grant and a petri dish.  I'm told they're in storage with a military group in Colorado and we can call a certain team out of NCIS to talk to them about it."

"Uh-huh.  When was this done?  I never donated."

"I don't know, call them."  He pointed at the number on the bottom.  "There."  He looked at the new information he had and smiled.  "Megan, gear up.  Mr. Finn is local with his kids."  She grabbed her gun and they headed out with the rest of their team.

Charlie Epps sat down at his brother's desk to make that call.  "Hi, this is Charlie Epps.  Agent Gibbs, I've heard of you.  I did get the list.  I never donated sperm."  He listened to him tell him about the project and how it got some of their samples, groaning at some of it.  "All right, now what?" he listened to his options.  "I'll consider it.  Thank you for letting me know.  Does my brother have any?"  He nodded once  "Thank you, Agent Gibbs. You have  a better night.  No, Don and his team just went after a Riley Finn.  Yes, I believe I see the report on him."  He looked at it, then smiled.  "Megan made a note, he's in the hospital with a concussion."  He nodded.  "Thank you, sir."  He hung up and went to get some coffee.  He could talk to his family about this later.  His dad was going to rant for weeks about this.

***

Xander woke up and looked at the man beside him.  "Back again?" he asked.

"We have Mr. Finn in custody."

"I hope you keep him.  Was Graham with him?"

"He was and very shocked when we said what was going on.  He beat him for us," he admitted.  He leaned on the bed's railing.  "You more coherent?"

"More so than normal?  Last night was pretty normal, Agent Epps."

"That's fine.  Let's get the statement done. You'll be released tonight, staying in town and flying out in the morning."  He smiled at that.  "Thank you for letting us do what we needed to."

"Better you than me.  My kids would miss me."

"I've heard that they do and they're all fussy until you get back."

"Can I go back today?  My son scowls when he's fussy and he pouts when you giggle at it.  He'll have one of those issues that means he'll end up on a talk show if he's not handled right."

"We've talked with a Miss Summers down there.  She said he's been doing that for days but he found someone other than his father to follow around babbling at."  He grinned.  "It seems the, as she put it, grumpy scientist type does it for him.  He's ignoring his new hero's odd looks at him for following him around like he did the pony."

Xander giggled, nodding.  "Figures.  His daddy's a CSI."  That got a smirk.  "Got more knowledge?"

"A lot more.  DiNozzo came out."

"Rebecca?"

"She's playing with my brother in the hallway while he checks in."  Xander beamed.  "Hey, Charlie, bring in the baby please?"  His brother brought in the little girl with a bright smile.  "See, one of your brood."

Xander grabbed her to cuddle.  "Becca.  Daddy's okay."  He got lots of cuddles from his daughter, who even cooed and patted his cheek for him.  "Thank you.  You make Daddy feel a lot better.  Where's Daddy Tony?"

"DADA!" she yelled.  He came strolling in.  "Wake, dada!" she said proudly.

"I can see he's awake.  You do that very well, Becca."  He kissed her on the head and gave Xander a pat.  "From Liam since you do it to him."  Xander grinned at that.  "Now, let's finish this sad chapter of Riley's history so we can get you home."  Xander nodded, shifting so he could look at everyone else and talk to them.  Tony got them all chairs and looked at Charlie.  "You don't have to worry about the ones who have the embryos.  They're good folks who'll only do inventories to make sure they're all there."

That got a nod.  "Thank you.  I'm not really ready for kids."

Xander waved a hand.  "Neither was I but I have five."  Charlie gave him a horrified look. "And about sixty more in storage."

"Ow," he said, shaking his head.  "I'm thinking about keeping them but that's a lot."

"They hated that he was so good," Tony said with a grin.  "Did the same thing to me."

Charlie walked off shaking his head so he could go back to thinking.  This was not a position he had expected himself to be in.  He had seven children stored somewhere in Colorado.  He called his father to meet him at his office, along with his girlfriend and best friend.  He walked in and shut his office door, locking it and pulling down the shade.  "I got information last night and today I have to share.  It's going to get loud.  Dad, please don't scream?"

"Why would I?" he looked concerned.  "Tell me the NSA isn't taking you for a few months again so you can make some idiotic project finally work."

"No.  Nothing like that."  He put the paper down in front of his best friend.  "There was apparently a group in a small, local town called Sunnydale who was doing experiments with genetics."

"Among other things," Larry said, looking at the papers.  He blinked then at him. "They did what!"

"They were busy creating the next race of geniuses and super soldiers."  He looked at his girlfriend then his father.  "I found out that somehow they turned a blood sample taken by the NSA into a set of embryos.  I have seven stored in a secure facility in Colorado, not run by the same folks.  I'm told that they're good people, the ones holding them, and that they're not going to do more than do an inventory.  I have the right to ask them to be destroyed and as long as both parents agree they will be.  Any that there's a split decision on I'm told I can talk to the other parent about it."  He sat down.  "Don's last kidnaping, the one he got the tip on, has full kids from them.  Living, cuddling, cute little things.  I was just playing with his daughter in the hallway outside his hospital room."  He looked around again.  "So apparently I have to make a decision and I wanted you guys to know first."  He noticed his fathers' face was turning red.  "Dad, they've been working to notify us all.  It simply hadn't happened yet.  Cases got in the way.  NCIS took over the case since one of their agents got hit as well.  It was his daughter I was playing with."

"Don's last rescue was a male," Amita said.

Charlie nodded.  "As are most of the embryos' parents from what I was told.  It was a military project that the NSA and others took over.  There's a few last mop up trials going on but otherwise they're all in jail."  His father got up and started to pace.  "Dad, calm down."

"How long have they known?"

"They've had the second list for a few months.  They're still working on the inventory, dad.  They're doing normal cases as well.  Calm down.  They would've told me and they're in storage.  It's not like I can walk up to them and take them back."

"This project that has them?" Larry asked.

"Somewhere in Colorado.  Don said they've got some serious science people there.  They're not going to do more than checking inventories.  He said they're very good people.  Mr. Harris said the same."  Larry gave him an odd look.  He smirked.  "Yes, he's from Sunnydale too.  We heard the person who took them used to be of the same project and snapped.  He's got four and one he's adopted, plus a lot more embryos in storage.  They liked him as a genetic base."

"It's still wrong," his father noted.

"Alan, I doubt Mr. Harris had anything to do with it," Larry said calmly.  "Especially if he got used as well."

"I asked Agent DiNozzo this morning.  He said someone told Xander, who told him, and got them involved.  Then NCIS took the case over. He said they're slowly getting into the inventory and notes that had to be translated.  Mr. Harris retired from Sunnydale and moved to Georgia to be with the kids."

"That's good," Alan agreed.  "You hear some strange things from that town.  For some reason they hired a firm we used to work with locally to put in underground condos."  He sat down again.  "Son, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Dad.  That's why I'm asking for suggestions.  I'm not against anything either way.  I don't know if any of them were already a split decision or not.  I know Don wanted to look up the other names so we had an idea of who they were.  The only names on the list I know are McKay and Jackson.  One's a physicist I met at a convention and one's a linguist I met at a different convention."

His father took the list to look at, then at him.  "Harris' name is on here."

"He's apparently what they were considering baseline appropriate," Charlie told him.  "He said he had sixty in storage or so."

His father shook his head.  "Are you going to use them, Charlie?  Really?"

"If my wife can't have children, I would," he said.  "When I'm ready to be a father.  Not this moment."

He nodded slowly and handed the list over to Amita, the girlfriend.  "What do you think?"

"I think keeping them in storage isn't a bad idea.  If they're there and something happens they can be pulled out.  If not, they can be destroyed at a later date or left in storage or donated to science I guess."  She shrugged.  "I don't know what you do with stored embryos."

"Then you think I should leave them there?" Charlie asked.  She nodded.  "Larry?"

"I think it's the more rational decision.  The absence of a decision in this case is the most logical one.  It gives you further options for later use."  Someone knocked on the door.  "Not now!" he yelled.  He looked at his best friend.  "What did Don say?"

"Someday he'd get to be an uncle and take down that kid's ego so it wasn't as high as mine when I started college," he said with a grin.  "Dad?"

"It's your kids, Charlie."

"I know that, Dad.  Do you want me to keep them in storage for now or not?"

He looked at him.  "I'd rather we were having this talk about future grandchildren that were going to be born."

Charlie nodded.  "If I keep them in storage that is an option to consider."  That got a nod.  "Not this year, but it's something to consider."

His father grimaced.  "Then I guess keeping them in storage is fine.  Are they going to make you sign a hush agreement?"

"They did for the ones that're born.  For me, they said not to talk about it to the press.  The unit was stopped.  The people arrested and put in jail.  The people holding them are secure and top secret.  They're not going to use them so unless someone breaks in they're not a problem."

His father nodded.  "Then the reasonable thing to do is to secure your future," he said.  "In case you never marry."

Charlie grinned.  "Aren't you so glad this isn't Don throwing a fit?"

"Very.  Though I have the feeling if I saw them I'd be throwing one too.  If there were actual kids born your brother and I would go shoot people to get them back."

Charlie grinned.  "Go ahead, dad.  I wanted to last night.  That's why I came home and went right to the garage to work on stuff."  That got a nod and his father got up, going to open the door.  He looked at his chairperson.  "Hey, Millie.  Talking about something personal."

"What happened?"

"You ever hear of a project called the Initiative?" Larry asked.

She nodded slowly.  "Unfortunately I was doing some NSA work and I did.  Why?"

"They had a breeding program," Amita told her.  "Charlie has some embryos in storage."

"Oh, my."  She looked at him.  "Are you okay with that?"

"They don't have them, they're mostly in jail, and I have the right to decide if they're staying or not."

She nodded, relaxing.  "That's good then.  Any we'll be seeing here in the future?"

He smiled.  "There's the possibility if I use them."  He folded up the paper and ran it through the shredder.  "Thanks, guys.  Dad, want lunch?"

"Please.  I could use something to chew on since none of them are available."  He smiled at Millie.  "Want to join us?"

"No, I think this is a family discussion."  She left, going back to her office to wonder.  Did they use her too?

Larry leaned in.  "They mostly used males, Millie."  She smiled at that.  "Fortunately I don't think I'm on the list either.  That's not a call I want to make."  He left, going to tag along to lunch.  He was hungry and thinking about him having kids far in the future.  He wasn't sure it was a good idea or not.

***

Xander got out of the car and ran for the house, bursting in to grab his kids and hug.  "Daddy loves you," he cooed, cuddling them all.

Becca got brought in.  "Me too, Daddy!" she pouted.  He pulled her in too, letting her cuddle the others with him.  She smiled at the nice people.  "Hi hi."

"Hi," Buffy said, patting her on the head.  "Hi, Xander."

"Hi, Buffy.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  Oh, he's out.  His former teammates got him out and he's in South America."

"I heard."  He gave them another squeeze.   "He comes back and we'll be pretty at the funeral."

"Sure."  She smiled and took Liam from him, getting scowled at.  She grinned back.  "I wanted one.  We'll have to go home soon."

"Daddy," he said with the same scowl.

"Wow, Liam, if it wasn't for the hair, you could be a son of Gibbs," Tony teased, tickling him.  "He scowls nearly as well as you do."  Liam gave him a shy smile and wiggled down, going back to hugging his father and sisters.  He grinned.  "Thanks for watching them, guys.  I know it's not easy."

"I probably won't have any for a long time," Buffy told him.  The two guys on her team nodded at that.  "See?"  She grinned at her boss.  Then at McKay.  "Aren't you happy he's back?"

"Very.  The children show disturbing tendencies already."

Xander looked at him.  "They're kids.  Of course they crawl in with you and try to sit on your head.  They follow you around to learn what you're doing and then they tell *everyone*.   Kids are the best parrots and spies in the world.  It's why all the ladies who run the daycare  look at me and giggle or blush."

"Eww.  TMI, Xan," Buffy complained. "Going to wash my brain now."

"Wax it, maybe it'll work faster," McKay said.

Rachel looked at him and growled.  "Mean!  Bad mean!"

"Hey, he's only teasing her," Xander said, calming her down.  "Aren't we?" he asked, looking at him.  The scientist only gave him a smug look.  "Remember what I've sent so far."

"Oh, that reminds me.  Storage area, Xander?" Tony asked.  "Rebecca and Liam both showed us the root cellar."

"Given, not bought, and I was going to give it to Buffy when she went back," he defended.

"Please do," Tony said dryly.  "How did you get that stuff?"

He shrugged.  "The other chaos creatures think I'm some sort of higher being by the problems I solve and cause."  He grinned.  "Look how much insanity I brought to your life, Tony."

"She definitely is," he agreed dryly.  "At least she's good insanity."  He sat on the couch, looking at the kids. "You guys let Daddy rest too.  He's got a boo-boo on his head."

Liam patted his daddy's hair with a smile.  "Kay?" he asked.

"I'm going to be just fine, Liam.  I'll be taking naps with you guys instead of staying up."  Liam smiled and nodded, going back to his petting, only scowling when Rachel reached for his hair.  Xander did it back to her and she purred, getting comfortable.  "She'll grow out of it, Liam.  I promise she will."

He smiled.  "Sissy silly.  Not pet Willow."  She looked at Willow and got up to toddle over to her, playing with the longer red hair that she could wrap in her fist.  "See?" he asked with a grin.

"You're a very smart little boy.  You get that from Daddy Horatio."  Liam beamed at his father, waving at him.  "Hi, Horatio."

"Xander.  Guys, let's let Daddy sit on the couch, all right?"  They pried the kids off while Tony helped Xander up onto the couch, then the kids were allowed to pile back on.  He looked at Tony.  "Just a concussion?"

"He was a bit dehydrated.  Riley left the day before and no one went in until the next night.  Oh, there's a Cordelia issue," he said, looking at Willow.

"I heard.  She said Oma's keeping her on a very tight leash at the moment.  Something about LA going to hell for real and she's not allowed to fight."

Buffy looked at her.  "Are they going to need help?"

"They have Spike," Willow told her.  "Plus they have Giles close enough if something happens.  There's Tarama in Sunnydale and she's got it calmed down enough to rush down with her Watcher too.  Wes'll be back in a few weeks even though Angel's pissed at him.  They know when Connor's coming back so they can talk to him and settle that issue too.  Basically Angel needs to be less stubborn and settle things.  I warned him he was starting to sound like us when the Initiative was around.  He gave me a horrified look and walked off mumbling.  So I'm guessing he'll fix it relatively soon.  Even without it being fixed he'll let Wes and the others help."

"Angel and his broomstick need to part ways before it makes him play quidditch," Xander said dryly.  He went back to cuddling his kids.  Liam was sitting on the back of the couch petting his hair.  "Thank you, Liam.  It's helping my headache a lot more than tylenol is."  His son beamed at his other father.

"You're a good boy, Liam."  Horatio took him for a cuddle.  "Do you want to stay with Daddy Xander or would you like to come with me for a few days while he finishes healing?"  Liam shook his head.  "No what?"

"No yelly."

"No, you don't want to see Yelina?" he asked with a small smile.  He shook his head. "Catty's coming back with us.  You can see her and her grandmother, plus Ray Junior."

"Visit?"

Horatio sat down, still smiling.  "I know they can visit up here.  Yelina won't let Ray Junior go that far yet.  Otherwise he'd be up here too."

Liam pouted.  "Catty go bye-bye?"

"Catty's going back to her daddy's house for a while.  That way Xander can nap."

"No nap!" he said firmly.  "Me!"

"No you don't have to nap yet," Horatio promised, getting a beaming smile.  "Would you like to nap with Daddy Xander later when he takes a nap?  That way you can pet him some more?"  Liam nodded, wiggling to get down and climb up to pet his daddy again.

"He's very focused," Sheppard teased.

"He gets it from Xander when he's hunting for a twinkie," Buffy teased.

"Hey, I stock twinkies now, thank you," Xander said dryly.

"Yes and they were very nice," McKay told him.  "I get low blood sugar."

Xander shrugged. "Twinkies are easy enough to find."  He looked back at Liam.  "Were you a good boy for Auntie Buffy and her friends?"  He nodded, smiling proudly. "Good boy."  He gave him a hug and whispered something in his ear, letting him down.  He looked at the girls.  "We were good girls for Auntie Buffy too?"  They all smiled and nodded.  "Good girls!  Daddy's very proud you didn't gang up to terrorize them like you do the daycare people now and then."  Tony laughed.  "They do.  They team up to drive the daycare worker nuts when they don't want to nap."  Willow squealed and glared at Liam, who only giggled. "Good sneaking, son."  He whispered in Catty's ear, making her giggle and go attack Horatio to tickle him.  The others went to attack McKay, making him run away.  "He doesn't like kids?" Xander asked innocently.

"To him everyone not him is beneath him sometimes," Willow admitted.  "It's why I chase him around with something heavy to beat him with it now and then."  She beamed at Sheppard.  "I nearly got him last time.  Buffy had to save him.  Ronon didn't manage it in time."

"You were freaky that time, Willow. You had the guys tied to stakes and were going to do something to them magically," Buffy complained.  "No more evil alcohol for you, missy.  We don't want you to go into cave-witch mode ever again."

"Cave-witch?" Tony asked.

"Buffy's first semester in college she found beer," Xander explained.  Tony whimpered.  "The place I was working had a sorcerer that was putting magic herbs into the beer on tap."  Horatio whimpered and Buffy moaned, covering her face and leaning over in embarrassment.  "Buffy ...reverted.  Brow ridge like Angel, grunting and pointing, matted hair.  Going 'fire pretty' when the place she was in got set on fire.  Nearly didn't escape because the fire was so pretty.  We got a lot of 'boy smells good' and her pouncing some of them.  She nearly beat me over the head to drag me off."  He smirked at Sheppard, who was giggling.  "She swore up and down she's never drinking beer again."

"You're right, she's not," he agreed dryly, smirking at his coworker.  "I wonder if they still have any.  There's a few planets were you'd fit in very well while under it."

She glared at him.  "Do it and I'm wearing that pink skirt on the next mission.  I'm sure we'll go to the land of Amazons."

"Ronon would get very upset," Willow said dryly.  "I think he was talking about some bandages being bigger than that skirt.  Something about spanking too if he saw you in it."  She beamed at her friend.  "But I might've translated it wrong."

"I was flirting with him."

"He's more direct than that, Buffy," Sheppard reminded her.  "Grunt, point, and say let's go.  He's there."  He shrugged at the laughter.  "You'd have to meet him."

Someone came up to the door, tapping before walking in.  "I'm here," he called.

"In the living room, Danny," Xander called.  "Hi, Wyatt!"  He kissed him and gave him a cuddle then handed him back.  "Such a good boy to tell your father I was in trouble."  Wyatt beamed at him.  "What's up?  It's not like I went back to a base."

"No you didn't and we're very happy about that, Xander."  He handed Sheppard a note.  "From Jack."  He sat down on the floor, letting Wyatt go play with the other kids who were chasing the scientist back.  "McKay, watch out."

"Another one?" he demanded.

"That's Wyatt, my son," he said dryly.

Rodney looked at the baby.  "I'm sorry you live in the insanity he brings.  Maybe we could bring you with us so Doctor Beckett would have someone to fuss over  instead of Captain Kirk over here."

"Actually, we're going back with you for two weeks to help with something," Danny said smugly.  "I'm bringing Wyatt and Richard, his half brother."  Willow gave him an odd look.  "They're wonderful at first contact situations.  Make even hostile aliens coo over their cuteness and decide we can't be *all* bad if we're maternal sorts."  He grinned at the grunt Sheppard let out.  "Not happy with the extra week?"

"No, I'm perfectly happy.  Kids, we've got an extra week before we have to report back to Cheyenne Mountain."

"Doctor McKay, due to the inventory, we have to inform you that you have *three* embryos in custody."  Daniel handed over the list with an evil smirk.  "That we've found.  A few aren't labeled."

"As long as it's not a daughter between Xander and Gibbs," Tony said firmly.  Horatio gave him a horrified look.  "There was one.  We were going to send her to Willow and Buffy if she was ever born.  That way she got good training in how to be like her daddy and military training from those yahoos for her other father's side."

Sheppard looked at him.  "I've met Gibbs in the past.  Fat chance."  He looked over Rodney's shoulder.  "Who's Charlie Epps?"

"The math genius brother of the agent who rescued me," Xander told him.  "Works at Cal-Sci."

Rodney gave him a horrified look.  "Curly hair, always doing something with math that shouldn't be probable?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "I can't believe they did that."  He looked at it.  "You and I would create a genius to take over the world, even if she was a girl, Jackson."

"Hmm," Danny agreed dryly.  "I was thinking that might be dangerous."

"Ya think?" Buffy asked.  "General Jack told us *allllll* about what you two had done as preparation before we went."

Willow nodded, smirking some.  "He did.  We got all sorts of stories about aliens who wanted to keep you and aliens who wanted to shoot you and things."  She got an odd look.  "They knew."

"We heard about the alien boob job," Tony assured him.  "From Cordelia."  They all groaned.  "Horatio?"

"Doesn't really surprise me since I saw her the other morning when they managed to capture her this time."

"Yeah, I got a bit pissed with her," Willow said dryly.

"You know, Xander has the ATA gene," Danny said innocently with an evil smirk.

"You can't bring the kids there.  It's very hard for the other parents to get visitation," Xander said dryly.  "Plus I doubt they have a daycare, Danny."

"Good point."  He grinned at him.  "If they turn out good enough can we recruit?"

"Sure, go ahead.  Once they're of age."  That got a nod.  "Do they all have it?"

"Liam doesn't and Rachel doesn't of course.  Of the ones in storage, three out of the sixty- seven don't."  Xander gaped.  "You're a good carrier."

"No!  The Powers said Xander is not allowed to take over the universe; even his kids are going to be too horrible at that!" Cordelia yelled.  "No army of Xanders!"

Buffy shuddered suddenly.  "Oh, God, the Amazon tribes would freak."

Willow grimaced but nodded.  "They so would.  But hey, can you see Weir dealing with Xander, or even a bunch of little Xanders?  The all-female races would have to put up with bad pick up lines forever and the military would have to quit adding anything chocolate to any project he was on."

John looked at her.  "Do we need to see Heightmyer?" he asked calmly.  "We can arrange it."

"You do that and I'm going to turn her into a bunny rabbit so the others have something to pet," she said bluntly.  McKay laughed.  "I can do it to you too.  Remember that."

"Don't make *me* spank," Sheppard told her.

Willow gave him a look.  "You don't come in my configuration, John.  Until you're a girl, don't make offers you won't do."  He blushed and walked off.  She grinned at McKay.  "You either.  Though you might be more tolerable as a girl.....  If you want."  He took the kids with him out to the porch.  "Shoot.  I need a new girlfriend since Tara and I broke up."  Horatio gave her an odd look.  "I never get to see her.  I'm too far away.  You can't date *that* long distance."

"Unless you have whatever blippy thing Angel found for Cordy," Buffy added.

"True, if I had that I could do that."  She smiled at Daniel.  "Did you have a blippy thingy?"

"No, I didn't.  Sorry."

"Shoot."

"You could ask Angel.  It'd be of strategic use."

Buffy went to do that.  "Angel, it's Buffy.  What blippy thing did you give Cordy and can we get one for our use?  Willow's missing her snugglies since there's really no one where we are for her to date."  She smiled.  "It is a good reason.  Otherwise no one can check on how Xander's doing with the kids and they'll all turn into little Xanders with huge brains.  His son already came over to try to breastfeed on Willow a minute ago."  She listened to him tell her what it was and wrote it down.  "How easy is it to get?"  She nodded.  "I can have her look.  Thanks, Angel.  Need us for whatever apocalypse is going on?"

"Ask him if the lights going out on the highway are part of that," Xander called.

"Xander wanted to know if the lights suddenly going out on the highway were part of that."  She nodded.  "It's a good place to start.  Sure.  Laters."  She hung up.  "He said probably so he'll go check," she told him, coming back out.  She handed the note to Willow.  "Not the grocery stuff."

She looked at it then nodded.  "We may be able to do that."  She beamed at McKay when he peeked in.  "We need to go looking for alternative power sources.  It'll take about a day or a day and a half.  You want to go now or later?"

"What alternatives?" he demanded.

She smiled.  "You'll see."  She got up with a grunt.  "Let's do it now in case we have to order something."  She took him off and used the rental car John had gotten them.  She had called around to find places in Atlanta and it was only a few more hours drive to New Orleans really.  "You want to hit Atlanta or New Orleans?" she asked as she started the car.

"I have no idea what you're looking for," he reminded her.

She considered it.  "Then we'll road trip."  She backed down the driveway and headed for New Orleans.  It was a mother-country area and would have what she needed.

***

Horatio came back ten days after leaving, looking at Xander.  "Can I stay?"

"Suspended?"

"Quit.  My department didn't like that I have a son and Speed said he's not coming back.  Eric and Calleigh quit as well.  Alexx too."

"Interesting.  Going to apply with the sheriff?"

"There's a local college, I can teach," he said with a small smile.  Xander shrugged.  "You're sure?"

"Yup."  He handed him the sleeping Liam.  "He's been down for about an hour."

"Thank you."  He nuzzled his son's hair, waking him up.  "Good afternoon."

"Daddy!" he squealed, hugging him.  "Visit?"

"No, I'm moving back this way."

"Add another trailer, Horatio.  We can easily run lines," Xander assured him.  "Though I should probably make the pond deeper.  It's only four feet in the center."

"It's deep enough, Xander.  Didn't you send all that back with Buffy?"

"Yeah, but I can make another depth charge."  He grinned.  "I'm good at it."

"No, Xander."  He hugged his son again.  "You're sure?"

"I have four acres, Horatio.  If you want privacy, put it in the orchard area or renovate the barn."

"Thank you."  He smiled at his son.  "Would you like me to live closer?"  Liam beamed and nodded, hugging him around the throat.  "How's Tony?"

"He's doing okay.  The director is back to driving him insane."  He yawned.  "He said if he walks off he'll be coming down here too.  The Sheriff could use the help according to him."

"I think he only has the part-time deputy."

"Yup."  He grinned.  "Deputy Mayberry and all the kids teased him about that I'm sure."  He saw the minivan coming up the driveway.  "There's Eric, Liam.  Can you go wake up Catty *nicely* this time?"  He wiggled down and headed up the stairs.  A minute later Catty yelled.  "I said nicely, son!  Quit picking on your sister!  Catty, your dad and grandma are here!"  She came pelting out of the house and ran down to bounce around her daddy until he picked her up.

Liam walked out with the other kids, pointing at them. "Thank you for that," Horatio said, picking him up to cuddle him again.

Xander grinned when Grandma stole Catty to cuddle.  "Anxious?" he teased as they walked up to the porch.

"Long drive," Eric said, patting Liam on the head, getting a scowl for messing with his hair.  "Behave or I'll tickle and then you'll be sweaty again," he teased.  Liam scowled worse and put his head down on his father's shoulder, sure he was going to protect him.  "You have a very serious son, Horatio."

"Only about his hair and his clothes," Horatio said dryly, letting Rachel in his lap too.  She beamed at him.  "Hi, Rachel."

"Mommy!"

"No, I'm not the mommy."

She looked at her other father.  "Mommy?"

He gave her a confused look then sighed.  "Sweetie, you don't have a mommy.  All you have is me and the rest of the kids' daddies.  I wish you had a mommy but you don't."  She pouted.  "Even if that one girl did offer, you don't have a mommy yet."  She pouted at Horatio.

"You can consider me another father if you want," he offered. "But Mommies are girls.  Like you're a girl so some day you'll be a mommy."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "Don't wish grandkids on me anytime soon, please?"

"I'm not," Horatio promised with a small smile.  Another car was coming up the road.  "That's Calleigh.  She followed you, Eric?"

"Couldn't shake her.  She made bad jokes about this town becoming CSIland like some places are coplands."  He took his daughter back.  "Mine, Momma.  Greedy."  Catty giggled and kissed him then snuggled in.  "No Tony?  I know he said he was about to walk off."

"He said if he stomped off he'd come renovate the barn for his own use," Xander said with a grin.  "Either that or he'd go to New York and make Mac start another communal area.  Did you guys hear that Stan's moving to Colorado Springs and going to work there?"  They all nodded.  "I think that's pretty cool.  That way Danny and Jack can fuss over the kids easier."  He picked up Selene.  "I'm sure your daddy will be calling soon."

She beamed.  "Dada?"

"Sure.  Get the phone without the cord."  She ran inside to get it.  Eric's cellphone rang and Xander tensed up.  "Eric, no cellphones," he growled.  Eric's mother looked confused.

"Riley inserted a small, vibrating device when he had him," Horatio offered.  "It reacts to a cellphone ring."  Eric shut his cellphone off.  "Calleigh, cellphone off please.  Before we hurt Xander."  She turned hers off.  "Thanks.  Timothy!" he bellowed.  Tim came to the door of the trailer, shaking his head.  But he and his son came up to the house.  "Hiding?"

"Definitely.  Helping the local Sheriff.  Helping the local high school's chemistry teacher.  She's been sick."  Rebecca made begging noises and held up her arms.  "Let me put down Dougie."  He put him down and picked her up to hold her.  "There, better?"

She beamed and kissed him then wiggled to get down, going to help her sister find the phone since they had hid it again.  It was a good toy that talked back to them sometimes.  She found it and bopped her sister on the head. "Dada!"

She ran outside waving it, letting Xander dial it for her.  "Dada!" she squealed, hearing a familiar voice.  "Danny?  Ooooh!  Daddy?"  She sat down and got comfortable like Auntie Stella did.  "'Tana?" she asked when he said her name.  She didn't care if her daddies were being silly and taking pictures.  "Daddies here.  Lots and lots."  She beamed.  "Pony too."  She held up the phone.  "Danny!"

Horatio reached over and grabbed it, listening to the other end.  "It's very cute.  She sat down just like Stella does.  The same head cocked to the side while she listens, and nods along with what you're saying until you get to a word she can say.  No, we're here because Miami pissed us off in a permanent fashion."  Speed gave him a horrified look.  "I know at least *I* am moving here onto the edge of the farm."

Speed gave his son a look then at Xander.  "Does that mean we can add on?"

"I can't figure out how but sure," he said dryly, shrugging a bit.  "As long as you guys try to help with the bills."  They both nodded.  "You can too, Eric."

"I might take over the little trailer once Speed gets somewhere bigger," he offered, cuddling his daughter.  He smiled at Rachel when she came over.  "Want a hug too?"  She nodded so he squatted down to cuddle her.  "Such a good girl today."  She shook her head with a shiteating grin. "No?"

"No, they decided to help the daycare people paint.  Just don't ask," Xander said.  Horatio gave him a horrified look before looking at Liam.  "It took me *three hours* to get them paint free.  But hey, the daycare area has polka dots and splatter dots."

"Paint," Liam cooed with an evil grin.

"Tell Uncle Danny that, son."

Liam stole the phone.  "Paint," he said with same evil grin and coo.  Danny asked something.  "Daycare," he said happily.

Horatio took the phone back.  "Xander said he was helping the daycare paint today.  Took three hours to get them clean.  I'm here.  None of us have cellphones.  Xander's banned them so call the house."  He smiled.  "Even Calleigh's here."  He nodded. "Sure.  We're here."  He hung up, looking at Selene, who was pouting.  "Your father will call once he's out of court.  It'll be about an hour."  She pouted worse.  "When he's done, Selene."

"Selene, baby, daddy's busy and he'll call once he's done," Xander told her.  Rebecca pouted and poked.  "Sure, you can try too."  She beamed and pushed the button for her daddy, babbling at him, walking over to sit next to Selene and let her help so she'd quit pouting.

"They can't remove whatever he put in?" Eric asked.  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Because I'd be off my feet for weeks, they're not sure they can do it without causing me to need a colostomy bag for life, and it's not worth it.  I simply banned cellphones at the house."  He grinned.  "Out of the house we deal with it.  Willow created some sort of blocking thing with the hotty scientist she works with.  He felt very sorry for my butt."  Eric snickered at that.  "He did."  He cuddled the baby next to him.  "You are very special."

She shook her head.  "Nope."  She beamed at Eric, letting him cuddle her again.  "Liam too?"

"Want me to cuddle Liam too?" he asked.  Liam spit at them.  "No spitting.  Grandma told you that."

"I did try," she agreed.  "Horatio, what about your nephew?"

"He'll be fine and he can move up here if he wants," he said calmly.  "We've already talked about that option.  He said it'd be nice to be the hottest guy in town for a change."  Xander snickered.  "So we'll see."  He looked at Liam.  "Don't want to cuddle your sisters or Uncle Eric?"

Liam shook his head.  "You, Daddy."  He snuggled in again, perfectly content.

"Sure, we'll cuddle," Horatio agreed, very happy with that idea.

Xander looked around. "If you guys want more than cheetos for dinner, someone needs to go grocery shopping."  Eric nodded, taking Rebecca and Catty to do that with his mother.  "Speed,  you good out there?"

"We're fine, Xander.  We can even come up for dinner."  Another car pulled in and he looked. "Sheriff Dinwitty's wife," he said quietly.

"I like her.  She helped get the paint off the kids this morning."  He smiled and waved.  "Some of them are moving here."

"I heard."  She came over to smile at the picture of Horatio and Liam both nearly asleep.  "I was wondering if they'd need help finding places."

"I was thinking about getting a bigger trailer and having it moved out here," Speed told her.  "Horatio might do the same."

She beamed.  "In that case there's a few going to auction next month for back taxes, kids.  They'd do wonderfully if Xander can hook up the water and electric."

"I did the other one," Xander offered.  "It'll be a lot of digging if they put it on the other side of the orchard.  I might ask one over there to get their own water account."  She nodded at that.  "What place lost theirs?"

"The small trailer park out on tenth was all owned by one guy but he refused to pay taxes so the city seized them.  Some of them are in good shape."

"We'll have to look, see what they want for bidding prices.  We might be able to fix some of them up too.  Not like there's a lot else to do out here."  She giggled and nodded.  "More of the daddies might be coming up too.  We're not sure yet.  Oh, preschool for the older crew?"

"Starts in late August," she reminded him.  "I'll have Linda come out. She runs the head start.  That way you can figure out if they're going or not."  She patted Rachel on the head since she was closest.  "I see you managed to stay clean."

"They came home, had lunch, and then thankfully a nap," Xander said with a maniacal grin.  She walked off laughing.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  I'll tell my husband they're up so he can come bother 'em."  She got back into her car, backing out and heading to her husband's office.  "Dear, more of the fathers are moving out at the farm."  He beamed at that.  "We've got to tell Linda to go nag about preschool for the older ones, and it'll be good."  She kissed him.  "Are you going to make it home tonight?"

"On time even," he teased.  "You tell them about the tax sale?"  She nodded.  "That'll be good for out there.  Each little family can have their own home and the boy can have some peace and quiet back.  Plus it'll make the check he's getting stretch farther."

"At least he's only using the state's health care.  He could bet getting other checks, food stamps, all that stuff."

"He's a good kid," he agreed.  He saw the Delko family walk past with Rebecca singing and dancing with Catty behind them. "That's a good move for them.  I heard DiNozzo say he might come too."

"That'll help you a lot."  She pinched his cheek.  "Pork roast for dinner, dear."  She headed home, going to cook.  He loved her roast.

***

Tony hung up with Eric.  "Well, we've got a mini commune started in Georgia and another one started in New York around the kids Taylor and Flack have.  Plus Eric heard that Stan's moving to Colorado Springs."

"So, Xander's town is going to be filled with CSI," Gibbs said dryly, looking at him.  "And you're going to be bringing Selene and Craig around?"

"It'll be easier if I do.  They still didn't give Xander more than one check."  He looked up and sighed when the director shrieked something.  She had never fully recovered from her last capture.  Gibbs sighed as well.  "Does anyone else know?"

"Everyone knows," McGee assured him.  "I got an email from the SecNav's secretary asking how she was doing because some paperwork hadn't come in yet.  They sent it to me because they knew the boss hardly ever checks his emails."  Gibbs nodded at that.  "I left it on your desk."

"I saw.  I passed it onto Cynthia."  He looked at Tony.  "New York or Georgia, DiNozzo?"

He considered it.  "It depends on who's down in Georgia.  Four acres can only support so many people.  Plus I'd probably be living in a small trailer."

"You can get a bigger one," Kate reminded him quietly, glancing over at him.  "They make new ones with every convenience and up to four bedrooms."  He smiled at that and nodded.  "In New York you'd have to find your own place in the same neighborhood to be of help.  Like Stella did."  She liked Stella, they were now gal pals and she had kept them informed of what was going on.  "What about Stan?"

"Colorado Springs to be closer to the base and Danny."  Tony looked at Gibbs.  "I'll probably switch back and forth now and then, boss, but Georgia is sounding like it's cheaper.  Plus, Craig doesn't know me as well as Rebecca does.  He gives me that confused 'who are you' look all the time.  He considers Don his other father."

"You're almost never up there," Gibbs agreed. "It was bound to happen, DiNozzo."

"I know.  But if I'm in Georgia I'll have to bring him and Selene down with me.  I'll have to get a minivan or something."

"Or a sedan that seats at least four," Kate said patiently.  "Not like you're going to be Xander and putting all five kids in the same car.  By the way, how did he do that?"

"Bench seats," Tony said dryly.  "Two in front, three in back.  He said he barely had a place to sit the last time."  He looked upstairs at the scream of frustration.  "Do we think someone's going to step in?"

"I think she shot at the last one," Gibbs told him quietly.  "That's why Ziva's out on medical leave."  Tony just nodded.  "Today?"

"I can hold out for a while longer, boss.  I'll use the current paychecks to afford the place I'll put down on Xander's land until I get fed up.  Oh, who am I going to see above her about the checks for Xander?"

"I talked to them.  They're supposed to start next week, when the new ones come out."  He went back to work.  "You're not allowed to leave with a full desk."

"Yes, boss."  He got to work, on another screen he was looking up trailer sale places down by Xander's house and typing him an email saying he wanted to put his own up on the land.  He'd be down a lot more often sometime in the near future if things didn't get better.  He got back a link from Horatio and smiled at it.  "Those are really nice.  Fireplaces, full kitchen, spa tubs.  Three bedrooms and you can pick your choice of colors and things.  Not that expensive either.  Less than a new car's going to be."  He read over the options and considered what he had in his retirement funds.  Well, he had always planned on getting a little place on a beach somewhere.  He guessed a pond would do.  He sent them an email asking some specific questions about models and what they had nearly available, telling him that he was putting one on the same land as his friend and co-father had.  He got one back within an hour with model examples, links to pages for choices of appliances and colors, and one asking what sort of setup they'd need for utility lines.  For that he sent them Xander's phone number. He got back a suggestion an hour later, looking at it.  "They have a used one that's near what I want but it's a bit larger.  A triple wide instead of a double.  A few features I wasn't planning on having and I'll have to do some free- standing cabinets for storage in the kitchen because this one doesn't have a pantry.   Only thirty thou."  He looked it over, frowning at a few things.  "I'll have to change the rug."

"Or buy some throw rugs."  McGee smiled. "Even cheaper."

"True.  I can change the carpet sometime later."  He found an email from Xander asking where he wanted it.  He sent back he'd let him decide with Rebecca, earning a smiley face back and a suggestion.  "Speedle's getting a new one, he was living in the visitor's quarters.  Horatio's getting one from the upcoming tax auction and Xander's buying another two if he can afford them to put out for Don, Eric, and/or Mac and for everyone else when they come in."

"Did the whole lab quit?" McGee asked.

"Yup, they pushed their luck twice too many times in the same day and got pushy with Horatio about his son.  They told him he had to quit seeing his son, it was distracting him at work.  Then they tried to screw with the lab.  All the scene techs but one quit and even their ME quit.  That last scene tech said he'll be quitting in two weeks.  He wanted to give ample notice and clear up his last case because the victim deserved better than some green person who didn't have a clue," Tony explained with a small grin.  "Boss, I would suggest you recruit Ryan Wolfe.  His OCD will drive you insane, he's got some ambition to move higher, but he's good at what he does once he's finished proving he belongs there and he's got a clue.  Horatio's lab was his first spot out of patrol and he had a few wobbles but he did good work."

"I'll talk to Caine then see him," he agreed, looking a bit smug.  "Think he'd get along with Ziva?"

"I think he's practiced annoying others on Delko, boss.  They'll either get along *very* well or he'll wear her out and make her like him."

"Good to know.  How soon?"

Tony shrugged.  Another scream happened and he sighed, heading up there.  She had screamed his name.   He waved at the horrified looking secretary.  He walked into the office and shut the door. "Director, I do answer the phone and emails," he told her calmly.  "You didn't have to scream for me."  He stared her down, watching as she turned her monitor around to show what he had been doing.  "I know.  I'm putting a place down on Xander's farm so I have better access to my daughter.  There's a futon in her room but I'd rather have my own place so I can keep her out of Xander's junk food habit.  I even found it used.  Much cheaper."  She growled.  He stared at her.  "What?"

"You're leaving NCIS?"

"That depends on how things go over the next few months," he said honestly.

"Nothing's changed," she sneered.

"Director, a year ago you'd never have screamed for anyone, even in an actual emergency.  You've changed since Xander rescued you.  Everyone's noticed it.  Even Ziva.  Even Gibbs."

"They're trying to get me out of here."

Tony nodded.  "There's people who always want to play hardball, Director.  You lived the political life for a very long time.  Now you're doing it for your job.  I could suggest a vacation might ease some of the worries.  Give yourself time to rest since you didn't afterward."

"I'm fine."

"If you say so, ma'am.  Now, anything else?  I'm down to my last few reports on the last case and Gibbs will want them by the end of the day."

"I don't like you moving down there, even part time."

"Ma'am, you can't tell me where to live outside of being in call-in radius.  You also can't tell me I can't see my children or make myself a spot down there to make it easier on all of us to see our kids.  I'm not the only one moving a trailer onto the farm.  Mine's simply coming from the store instead of the tax auction coming up."  She growled again.  "Ma'am, need some Pepto?  I'm sure Ducky or someone would donate some."

Xander appeared behind him, leaning his head on his shoulder.  "Cordelia sent me.  Snatched me out of the kitchen making cookies with Liam and Rebecca."  Tony grinned at him.  "I don't know why."  He looked at her, then tipped his head to the side.  "Morning, growling one."

"Not funny, Harris," she sneered.

He walked over, taking off his crucifix.  He put it on her forehead, making her shriek and wail, even batting at him.  He looked at Tony.  "She needs a priest."

"I'll get one.  She's pregnant."

"This isn't pregnant.  Most babies don't do this."  He nodded, hurrying off to have Gibbs find one.  He found her handcuffs and cuffed her to her desk chair, smiling at the woman leaning in.  "Hi, Xander Harris."

"I've heard you're the other father of Tony's daughter," she said calmly.

He smiled and nodded.  "I am.  I'm also here about an exorcism.  She needs one."   The secretary let out a nervous chuckle so he put the cross back.  She tried to get away from it.

"I know a good priest if Tony doesn't."  She went to tell him.  "Tony, try the base Chaplain.  He was with the Initiative before.  He's also a full priest."

"That'll work.  Call him up," he ordered. "Let's clear the building for the night as well, just in case?  She doesn't need this."  She nodded, going to send out an immediate memo saying that they were going to be spraying for rats starting in an hour and needed the building cleared.  Tony walked back in.  "We have one coming, he's former Initiative, Xander."  Xander shrugged.  "At least we won't have to explain it."

"True, and if he doesn't know anyone I'll call Giles to get a recommendation."  A man came running in.  "Father."

"Oh, shit," he said, staring at him.  "Why are you here!"

"I'm the other father of Tony's daughter and she's possessed.  Sounds like a lower level hell hound.  Also, she's pregnant according to Tony."

"Interesting."  He came over to check her, and a communion wafer made her shriek and flail.  "I've only done one of these."

"I've helped Willow do a few of the banishings" Xander offered.  "I can't do more than that."

"No, that's fine," he promised, getting to work.

An hour later he was sweaty and panting and she was still possessed.  Xander looked at him.  "Do we have another option?"

"I don't know of one personally."

"We need someone with a strong faith," Xander said.  "Someone who God would actually talk to if he were there."  That got a small nod.  "The only one I know retired from the church."

"Does he have to be a priest or just strong in the faith?" Tony asked.

"Both," they said in unison.

"Unless we want to go with a simple banishing and then we'll have to save the kid."

Tony looked at him, then went to call someone he had met on a case a long time ago.  "Father, it's Officer DiNozzo.  No, I'm in a bit of trouble, Father.  Actually, I'm now an agent with NCIS and my director is possessed. We have a priest here who can't save her.  We also have a resident of Sunnydale here to help and he can't help her.  He said we need someone strong in their faith.  DC.  I wouldn't know who'd know and neither do they.  I figured you might know.  No, we're at the office and I can have the guards let anyone in.  Please.  Thank you.  Growling, sweating, no voice changing, but growling, swearing, screaming, pregnant, and reacting to anything holy like it's a bonfire she's being put into.  Thanks, Father."  He hung up and looked at Gibbs, who was still at his desk. "We're calling in a higher authority."

"Good to know.  Is she going to be all right?"

"She should be fine," Tony said calmly.  "If they can get it out of her they won't have to repeat it with the baby."  That got a shudder.  He called the guards.  "It's DiNozzo.  There's a priest coming.  Let him in.  I know we're supposed to be cleared out.  He's here to give rites to someone.  Let him in.  I'll escort him personally.  No, call Gibbs' desk or the director's office.  No cellphones.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at Gibbs.  "They couldn't remove the thing Riley put in Xander's rear."  He hurried up there.  "One's on the way, should be at least a half hour," he reported.

Xander nodded.  "Sometimes it takes longer than that."

"The Church doesn't like those who can do this," the priest admitted.  "It takes away the power of the rest of us.  Makes us seem unclean and less powerful."

"It's all a matter of faith," Xander quipped. "Oh, Tony, do you want by the pond or not?"

"Pond," he decided. "The other side, away from the old visitor's area is good if no one's claiming it."

"Horatio wants in the trees.  Eric's claiming the old one.  Speed wants to live a bit closer to the trees too.  So that'll be fine.  Some digging but good."

"No using explosives to blow the canal for the pipe and wire, Xander," Tony ordered.

"I'm not!  It's too close to the current one.  I'll have the water company come lay it or something."  He answered the phone when it rang.  "Director's office.  Sure, I can send him down."  He hung up.  "Earlier than you thought."  Tony rushed off to get the priest.  He grinned at the current one.  "Could be worse."

"True, it could be a higher minion of Satan."

Tony walked in with the priest and he grinned and waved.  "Hi."

"Move," the priest said, getting in there to save at least the infant he could see sprouting up.  The mother too if he could.

***

Xander came off the plane with Tony, smiling at the person there to meet him.  "Hi.  Look who Cordy dropped me off with."

"Why?" Eric asked patiently.

"My director was possessed and growling and screaming," Tony told him.  "That was after the third priest got there.  Before then she was even worse."

Eric sighed and shook his head.  "We figured it had to be important."

Tony nodded.  "By the way, the newest baby Gibbs is now born healthy, happy, and with a pissed off father."  Eric gaped.  "She found one of Gibbs' kids.  That was her payment for sticking up for them and trying to regain control of the embryos and kids."

"Shit," Eric muttered, walking them off.  "Liam did not want to sleep without you.  Rebecca's got a new favorite word: eww.  The new trailers are in and someone came out to dig things for you.  We don't think it'll be extra but we've all got some handywork to get to.  Dougie's decided the pony can live with them.  Tried to get her inside his new trailer last night.  Since it's a three bedroom his father should share," he said at the amused looks.  Xander snickered and nodded.  "Horatio caught the girl leaving you things, Xander.  She's very sorry.  Horatio told her you were only allowed to date one of the fathers of your children.  That's why they were all moving there.  She walked off crying that you had a harem already and wouldn't include her.  The sheriff was not amused when he came out the next day but Horatio excused it as it being four in the morning and he wasn't thinking straight.  The sheriff decided you should still be on a disability check and maybe one of us should date you.  That way you'd settle down and be content on the farm.  Maybe get some chickens or something since the kids like chicken so much."

Xander shook his head.  "One garden is more than enough."

"That's what Horatio said."  He smirked at him.  "What's his kid?"

"Little girl.  Abby's going to email me who the other parent is."  He grabbed his two bags and Xander got the other two for him.  They had used Xander to get him more bags and less stuff shipped.  "Okay, we're done."  Eric nodded, walking out with him.  "So, is my place up?"

"It's delivered.  They're hooking up all the utilities today.  The rest of us bought one from the tax auction and they're bringing them tomorrow.  Speed said he can wait to redecorate.  He's still arguing with Miami about not being dead and how he wants his insurance stuff.  They think they gave it to his parents and he pointed out he wasn't dead so therefore they should be giving him his pension at least since he was shot in the line of duty but they saved him.  Apparently the whole shooting thing was a setup to get him."  Xander just nodded once at that.  "Graham called."  Tony gave him an odd look.  "He apologized for Riley going insane.  He said he wasn't aware he was going off the deep end and he wasn't sure why he went off the deep end but he was very sorry he snapped and decided you were actually a mother, Xander."

"Gee, thanks," he said dryly.  "Any other cheery news?"

"Those kids are moving to South America so he can beat the crap out of Riley himself."  Eric grinned. "He said Riley will be paying and he'll probably be in the ho shoes instead."  He saw Xander wince and tighten up, grabbing Tony's arm.  "You okay?"

"Cellphone.  Can we hurry up?"

"We can," Tony agreed, getting a nod from Eric.  They got on one of the people movers.  "No blocking thingy?"

"No, I wasn't wearing it when I got snatched by Cordy to come help you."  They all saw the guards massing at the end of the people moving strip.  "Hi, guys."

"Guys, I'm a newly retired Fed," Tony said, pulling out his old ID.  "Let me explain."

"Please do."

Tony pulled them off to the side.  "Xander was recently kidnaped by a friend's ex- boyfriend.  Her ex implanted a small, vibrating device in Xander's body, near his prostate gland.  It's set to the same frequency as a cellpone's ring."  They all winced.  "Yeah.  He got brought up to help me quit and move down here.  So all we need is to get him away from the cellphones quickly.  He has a blocking device but it's at home.  The person who brought him didn't give him time to grab it."

"Okay," one guard said.  "Can we scan him anyway?  We have one of those full-body scanners."

Xander shrugged.  "If it makes you happy, guys."  They nodded, taking him to do that.  "You should've seen the security guys in DC when I presented the medical card I carry.  To say they weren't happy was amusing.  As was the fit."

"It took the FBI coming in to let him get on the plane," Tony told them.  "They brought in the file from his kidnaping.  Are they sure they can't remove it, Xander?"

"Nope.  Not without the possibility of losing function there."  They made it to the security section and Xander smiled.  "I have an implanted device and they wanted to scan it again," he told the one on the machine.  He showed him the card he carried, getting a horrified look.  "A kidnaper did it."

"They can't remove it!"

"Nope.  Can we?"

"Sure.  Give us ten to clear the backlog.  They're all getting on flights soon."  He got them through and Eric got Tony some coffee and himself a cookie while they waited.  Then Xander stepped into the machine, letting them see the x-ray image of the machine and the rest of his body.  "Screws in your foot, sir?"

"I might've stepped on some when I was working construction.  Not that I know of.  Do I?"

"Maybe they're in your shoes," Eric said.  Xander stepped out of them.  "Yup, in your shoes."

Xander picked them up to look at. "Yeah, I stepped on some, they're in the tread, sorry."  He pried them out and put them in the little pan someone was holding out.  "Thanks," he offered with a small grin.  "We good?"

"Sir, that's got to be uncomfortable," one of the guards watching said.

Xander looked at him.  "Only around cellphones.  Fortunately they don't work near my farm very often.  Only one company and satellite phones."

The guards nodded.  "That's reasonable then," the guard said, nodding at them to release him.  "Come on, I'll get you guys out the faster way."  He summoned a cart and gave them a ride, letting Eric jog off to the get the car while Tony waited.  "So, former Fed?"

"Former Fed.  Fed up with my former director so I quit," Tony admitted, grinning some.  "Then again I have a daughter who lives with Xander.  So I'm moving out to his farm."

"That's cool.  How old?"

He pulled out pictures and Xander pulled out a more current one.  "Where's mine?"

"In the letter she was making for you to be mailed in a few days."  He showed him.  "That was at her brother's third birthday," he said proudly.  "Her name's Rebecca."

"She's a beautiful girl, sir."  They both smiled and put away the pictures.  Eric drove up.  "Sir, next time you have to come up, warn us beforehand and make sure you bring the card."

"I hardly ever leave the farm unless someone snatches me or takes me to help someone, but I will."  He grinned and shook his hand, then helped Tony carry stuff off to the trunk.  He climbed in the back, getting comfy.  "Wow, no car seats.  It's been forever since I've been in a car without a car seat."

Tony laughed. "I'm getting a sedan, Xander.  That way I can bring the kids around with me sometimes too."

"That's fine.  Thank you."  They pulled away from the curb, all waving at the nice guard.  "He was nice even if that was fairly embarrassing."

"Sorry," Tony offered.

"Not your fault but for every one of those I'm going to break one of Riley's bones.  I'm up to fifty now.  Thankfully Buffy saw the first one and figured out what was going on.  I was lucky in LAX.  I was in the secured section the whole time."

"Very lucky," Tony agreed.  He looked at Eric.  "How's my girl doing?  Xander said he was making cookies with her and Liam."

"Then Liam yelled 'glowy one did it again, daddy!' and went running repeating it until someone came in to make cookies with him.  My mother was very happy to help make cookies."  He grinned back at Xander.  "How was DC?"

"Didn't get to do much sightseeing this time either," he said blandly.  "Tony, are you bringing down the Mustang too?  If so I can probably put a carport onto the back of the barn."

"No, I love my mustang but she's going to be garaged.  I'll get something hip and sedanish for now."

"Sure.  Oh, Buffy sent back that you're a very nice agent, who's only a bit scary.  But she did like Gibbs.  Thought his growl was sexy and giggle-worthy."

"I'll tell him that, let him go there to spank her."

"She's back at her home base."

"Doesn't matter, he'll go there to spank her."

"Sheppard threatened to," Xander offered smugly.  "Apparently both ladies had PMS recently."

"Those poor military guys," Tony and Eric sighed in unison, shaking their heads.

Eric glanced at him.  "Calleigh loves her guns even more while she's got hers."

"Kate makes Gibbs look like Rebecca," Tony countered.  "On a happy, singing, dancing day."

"For some reason I can't see Gibbs being a singing, dancing sort," Xander said dryly.  Tony reached back to smack him on the head.  "Hey!"

"Tough.  Bad thought, Xander.  I'll have to tell him that."

"As long as he doesn't fly down to spank me."

"You'd enjoy it," Eric teased.

"I doubt it.  He might like the handcuffs I'd put on him but I doubt it too," he said with a sweet, gentle smile.  Both other guys laughed.

***

Xander came out a few days later with his morning coffee, looking around.  All the trailers were up.  All the utilities were running.  There was a water company guy coming out.  "Something else break?" he called.

"My boss sent me out.  He said your water usage had went up three hundred percent in the last week."  Xander waved a hand.  He looked then at him.  "We'd expect triple at that many new homes, but this is from the leak, sir.  Can we check?"

"Go ahead.  Let me know.  Are we going to be responsible for that since you guys put it in?"

"I'll have to ask the boss that, sir.  We'll see."  He went to look, finding it under Speed's new trailer.  He tapped on the door.  "Sir, I've got to turn off your water.  You have a leak."

"I saw the mud last night and was going to tell Xander today."  He shrugged.  "Go ahead.  We're both up and bathed."

"Thanks."  He headed back to the meter.  "Sir, where's the shut off?"

"Someone yell when their water goes off!" Xander shouted, coming down to show the three of them.  He shut off one and Tony complained.  He turned that one on again.  The next one got a glare from Horatio.  "Must go to his and the spare trailer."  He turned off the third emergency shutoff valve and looked at Speed, who nodded.  "There you go.  Let me know."

"I'll call now, sir."  He went to do that.  Since they had put in the lines he wasn't sure if they were going to be responsible for the usual fifty-dollars-an-hour fee for fixing it.  His boss was usually reasonable about those things.  He saw a young naked boy go running by and laughed at his blue tinted rear end.  That's when his boss answered.  "Sorry, one of the kids painted his rear.  Found the leak, boss.  It's in a pipe we put in.  Harris wanted to know if he was responsible for the repair fees."  He leaned out.  "Mr. Harris, he said you'd be responsible for half but he'd knock some off the water usage for it."  Xander nodded. "He said that's fine, boss.  Thanks.  Speedle's trailer.  It's his son that just went streaking past with a blue butt.  Sure."  He hung up and looked out at the kid.  "That's not a blood flow issue, right?"

"No, that's paint," Speed said grimly.  "He decided to paint with it last night.  He was pressing his butt against the walls to make pretty patterns that looked like butterflies."  Xander snickered at that.  "He's very creative."

"Yes he is," Xander agreed, giving him a hug.  "Go ahead and snatch food if you need to, Speed.  It shouldn't take too long to fix."

"Sure.  Thanks."  He carried his son inside to get him something to nibble on, then took him to the pond to swim.   He had promised and his son wouldn't put on clothes until they went swimming.  He carried him and his poptarts back out to the pond, helping him eat them before they waded in.  His son paddled around while the water line was being fixed, then ran inside once it was turned on to take a shower and get dressed.  "Good timing," he told the amused repair guy.

"Liam up, Daddy.  I go play!" he shouted, heading that way.

"Put on pants!" he shouted after him.  His son trudged back to the house.  "My t-shirt is fine, son.  The underwear is good, thank you for remembering them this time.  Pants have to go on too.  Shoes too."  His son pouted but did as ordered then went running back over to Horatio's new place to play with Liam.

Horatio came out to sip his coffee on his new porch.  "Thanks, Speed."

"We've been up for hours getting the water fixed."

"I noticed.  That all of them?" he asked the water company worker.  He shrugged and went to check the others.  He came back nodding.  "Thank you for noticing that."

"You're welcome, sir."  He smiled at Harris, having him sign the slip saying what he had repaired and how long it had taken.  Then he went back to the office, smiling and sharing the story with his boss.  It was very cute of the kid.

"The guys in town are going to think I'm really strange," Xander said as he walked over to Horatio's.  "Morning, Liam."  He got a pounced hug then the boys ran back to play in Liam's new room.  "Dougie, no painting," he called.  Horatio hurried inside. He had some paint to do his living room.  After last night...  Dougie was no longer allowed near any paint.  Eric came out of his trailer yawning.  Xander waved so he came over.  "Speed's son decided to paint butt butterflies on his walls."

Eric burst out giggling, going to see.  Speed was painting the centers and antennas between the buttcheek prints.  "Cute."

"Very.  I couldn't get his butt clean.  He was doing it for nearly thirty minutes before I caught him," he said.  "I'm sending pictures to Alexx.  Plus ones of his butt."  He smirked at him.  "The boys painting at Horatio's?"

"I heard Xander say they couldn't and then Horatio ran inside.  I came out to wake up."  He came in to help decorate the butterflies with dots and things.  Speed smirked at him.  "My niece tried it once.  Momma caught her and threw a fit."

"Spanked?"

"Majorly spanked.   Then taken to the priest so she could swear at her in front of him.  The priest got her calmed down."  Speed snickered.  Eric's mother was very loud when she wanted to be.  He added another dot and Horatio carried both boys in.  "We're finishing off the butt-erflies."

"I heard."  He looked then looked at Liam.  "You may not do that to your room.  It'll mess up your hair."  Liam scowled and shook his head.  "Thank you. We're going to help Xander clean up the barn, finally."

"Sure.  Have fun with that," Speed said with a wave.  "We'll be there in a while."  That got a nod.  "Tony and Rebecca back from his jog yet?"

"Just now.  It was his idea."  He walked the boys out, going to help them with the clean up while the boys got to work with the carrying small stuff and helping stack it neatly.  Rebecca was helping sweep because she was having a 'cleaning day' according to Xander.

***

Xander walked into the local DEA office a few hours later with a large box, handing it to the receptionist.  "The agents who were searching my farm for the last owner's stuff forgot some."  He walked out shaking his head.

One of the agents leaned out of his pod.  "That was Harris.  Smug asshole."  He came over to get the box and put it into evidence, groaning.  "They found drugs we didn't," he said, going to find his boss.  "Harris just brought in a box of stuff we didn't find during that two-day search."

"Should I start on the claim form?" the secretary asked.

"No, he's living somewhere we sold after we snatched it," the boss said.  "No one searched it very well so we had to go out.  Now Harris found more.  It happens now and then."  She nodded at that, going back to her desk to get the agent labels and the proper forms.

"Gee, thanks."  He went to do that.  It was a good haul.  He came out.  "Boss, heard rumors that some of the Miami people moved out there," he called.

"If so maybe we can recruit some of them part time for lab work," he said, calling out there.  "DiNozzo?"  He smiled.  "I heard some of the fathers moved down.  Well, we do need lab people now and then.  Think we could count on some of them?  True, wouldn't hurt to ask.  Who's there?"  He smiled at the list.  "Sure, let me know if you get bored.  We can use you part-time or something.  Thanks, DiNozzo."  He hung up and called Gibbs.  "Thanks for sending DiNozzo down so I can use him part-time once he gets bored, Gibbs.  By the way, did you want to be noted as being part of the search that missed more drugs?  Harris just brought some in and dropped them on the secretary's desk."  He listened to the screaming in the background.  "Your director?"  He snickered.  "Shoot her, Gibbs.  If she's in your house, she's trespassing.  I know, don't tempt you.  Sure.  Yeah, just talked to him.  He said he'd do it if he was bored.  How long should that be?"  He smiled.  He could wait a month.  "Thanks.  Good luck."  He hung up and went back to work, making notes in the case file.  He knew it wasn't the Harris boy's drugs.  He wasn't like that. Weapons yes, drugs no.

***

Xander came out of his house one day to screaming, glaring at the kids.  "What is going on?"

"Rachel does too have a mommy!" Liam shouted.

"Son, no she doesn't," Xander said, sitting on the stairs.  "Unless you guys consider me the mommy, no she doesn't.  None of you do.  Remember, mommies are girls.  You have two daddies, not a daddy and a mommy."

"Why?" Liam asked, looking miserable.

"Because the people who gave you to us, the ones who made you be born, decided to do it that way.  Now, come here."  He trudged over.  "Who's been talking to you guys about mommies anyway?  That's come up before and no one's mentioned it to me."

"Reverend's sister said we had to have a mommy."

"You know what?  You like the reverend, right?"  He nodded, looking very serious.  "Then let's go talk to the reverend and maybe he can explain to both of you so you both understand."  His son smiled, he knew his daddy had the answer.  "Go put on shoes.  Guys, go find the other daddies, Rachel, play with someone."  She ran off.  He went to put on his own shoes and a better t-shirt.  He had been doing laundry, so anything was fine.  Going to church wasn't like that, even for a social call.  He came out to find Horatio putting on Liam's shoes.  "We're going to talk to the reverend so he can explain to both Liam and the reverend's sister about why they don't have mommies."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at him.  "Does he know?"

"He was an advanced scout for the Initiative, Horatio.  He already knew, just not the actual facts."  That got a nod and he walked the boy down to his car, taking him to town.  They pulled up in front of the church about twenty minutes later, letting him look around.  "Looks like he's not here.  Let me run inside to see where he is.  Okay?"  Liam nodded so he did that.  He walked inside more calmly than running.  "Where's Reverend Finet?" he asked the first person he saw.

"He's...  With his sister at home.  It's the last day of her visit I think," the older woman said.  "Is it a problem?"

"Yeah, his sister's been talking about how Liam should have a mother."  He gave her a look and she shuddered.  "We're going to talk to the reverend."

She patted him on the arm.  "Go with God, son.  You might need it."

Xander grinned.  "But I'm charming and nice."  He walked back out, driving out to the reverend's house.  He lived on the edge of town, next to the sheriff's place actually.  He got Liam out and they walked up the front porch stairs, not even having to knock.  "Reverend Finet."

"Xander, what's wrong?" he asked, looking confused.  Usually the boy didn't come to him with problems and with his son especially.

Xander nudged Liam.  "Ask him."

"Your sisser said I should have a mommy.  Daddy said you get to explain to both of us why I don't."

"Oh."  He winced.  "I can do that."

Xander grinned.  "I can't.  Hush agreement."

"Good point."  He let them inside.  "It is a troubling matter," he admitted. "I had no idea, Xander."

"It's been causing some problems, especially with Rachel," he said quietly.  "All I want is it fixed.  Please?"

"Of course."  He walked them into the parlor.  "Emma, you remember Liam and his father Xander, correct?"  She nodded, looking less than pleased to see them.  He sat down and pulled Liam into his lap.  "Liam has asked a very important question."  Liam smiled at that.  "He said you've mentioned he should have a mother somewhere."  He looked at his sister.  "Due to the government program that had him be born being shut down, the same one I signed the hush agreement with when I retired, Liam came into being."

"Excuse me?"

Xander nodded, sitting down across from her, closer to the Reverend.  "The same people he used to work for decided I needed to be a father multiple times."

"But someone had to have given birth to him," she said firmly.  "You can't just create them in a neutral, non womb environment."

"Have you noticed that Rachel blinks a bit funny?" Xander asked.  She nodded slowly.  "Have you ever seen the commune in the next county?"  She shuddered but nodded.  "Her mother's people are out there.  They're breeders.  That's their main purpose in life.  The Initiative found that out."  Her face fell.  "They weren't made with a mother in mind.  Those of us who got used decided that the special ones they crossed the baseline guys like me with were the mommy.  Therefore Liam and all the rest of them only have *fathers*.  I'd appreciate you not making my children cry or fight over that fact the next time you see them.  Please."

She swallowed some of her iced tea.  "What if the ...maternal beings want them back?"  Xander shook his head.  "They can't?"

"We don't even know if they're alive," he said quietly, glancing at his son, who was playing with the reverend's cross.  He looked at her again.  "They've got nothing of their maternal womb's being in them, except for Rachel."

She frowned.  "Still, even with that, they should still have a mother."

"The last woman I dated broke into my bank account after we broke up because she believed I should be paying her palimony for dating her for a year and living with her for two months, ma'am.   She's the only one so far that hasn't tried to kill me.  Literally kill me."  She went pale at that.  "Your brother knew about me before he retired.  I'm from the town he was stationed in and he used to watch my group now and then.  That was part of his assignment.  We're going to be really lucky if any of us fathers settle down anytime soon."

She swallowed another swallow.  "That's the wrong way of thinking, Mr. Harris.  It's not right in God's eyes."

"The Gods I believe in don't care.  My children won't care about that particular god's problems either.  They're being raised tolerant.  Even if they do decide to join your brother's church, I haven't heard him preach against gay people yet."  She glared at her brother.

"I can not and will not believe that God made them that way without a reason," he told her firmly.  "He's right.  Even if they do join the church when they're older, they're not going to hear me preach against it."

"Do your parishioners know this?"

He nodded.  "The Church's board asked me when they hired me.  With all I've seen and done, Emma, there's no such thing as a bad love unless it hurts someone else."  Liam tugged on his necklace so he smiled at him.  "Yes, Liam?"

"What about mommies?"

"Well, most people do have mothers as well as fathers.  But your family is so very special because someone decided you only needed fathers.  That your fathers were as good as any mommy."  Liam beamed at his father for that.  "Does he cook and take care of you?"

Liam nodded.  "Both do.  Daddy Xanner even bakes cookies," he said happily.

"Well, that's what Mommies do so both your daddies are doing Mommy things.  That's why they were chosen to be your parents.  The same as the rest of them knew that they wouldn't need a mommy with the parents that were chosen."

Xander leaned forward.  "Liam, remember how we talked about the people who gave you to me?"  He nodded, looking serious.  "Well, they're the ones who decided who would be your parents.  They decided in our family's case that two daddies were for the best because they knew that we could be excellent daddies.  Even if we never married and gave you stepmommies we'd be excellent daddies and you'd be raised very well."  Liam beamed at that.  "So, even though you don't have a mommy, it only makes you more special to us, okay?"  He nodded.  "Then can you please quit fighting with the girls?  Maybe help me explain it to Rebecca later?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Any more questions?"

"Daddy, why you 'dopt Rachel?"

He thought for a second.  "Because the same people who gave you to me made her but her daddies couldn't take care of her," he said gently.  "She needed a daddy and I'm a very good daddy.  I could love her just the same as the others could, but I was going to have all you so one more of you wasn't a problem."  Liam smiled at that.  "Since her daddies couldn't, they said I could adopt her so she'd have parents who loved her.  Even though she's not mine by birth, she's still my little girl, the same as you're my son.  All right?  No picking on Rachel because of that."

"Yes, daddy."  He hopped down and came over to hug him.  "I love you even if you're not a mommy."

Xander grinned.  "Thank you, son.  Thank you as well, Reverend."

"Not a problem, Xander.  It's an important question that had to be settled.  Are we getting them again soon?"

"It depends.  With the other fathers moved out to the farm for the most part, they've been doing the cooperative babysitting thing.  Though about half of them are thinking about taking part-time jobs so you might."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Plus, hey, all the new trailers means less to mow."  He beamed at that and cackled.  His son did too.  "Ooh, we have to pick stuff from the garden and the orchard soon, huh?"  He picked Liam up.  "We'll probably let you have them again soon.  Have a good afternoon, both of you."  He walked Liam out to the car, talking about the orchard and what to do with all the fruit.

The Reverend looked at his sister.  "Even if I believed as you do I could never preach against them, Emma.  They never asked to be fathers.  They got told they were and then handed their children after being allowed to decide which one would have custody.  I don't know details and they can't tell me.  Not that I haven't figured some out."

"It's still wrong."

"The same people who used my skills used their seed, Emma.  They had no say in it."

She grimaced.  "They should still be encouraged to marry."

"One of them is forty-five, Emma.  If he hasn't married yet, he's probably not going to anytime soon.  Some people don't do well in married life.  Hell, Xander's never dated a good girl in his life."

"He's very young."

"But he's an excellent father to those kids.  I agree with him, you shouldn't have said that around them, Emma."

She sighed and shook her head.  "We'll have to agree to disagree."

"Next time you come in for a visit, don't say anything either," he said firmly.  "They've got enough problems as is."  She nodded, taking another drink of her tea.  "Before you think about spreading it around, some newspapers did when the program was found out about.  Xander left Sunnydale to come down here because it's a safe and tolerant area.  The other fathers recently moved onto the same farm in their own trailers because they wanted to be closer to their children.  They've got a good commune out there at the moment."

She nodded and sighed, then shook her head.  "Still seems a waste of good men going to hell."

"That's your opinion," he reminded her.

"Fine.  Whatever.  Can we get back to mother's new quilt?"

"I'd love to see it sometime soon," he agreed happily.  She smiled back and they went back to their common, sibling banter and discussions.

Xander drove back onto the farm, getting out once they had parked.  "Go grab the others and we'll explain to them together.  The daddies too."  He nodded, running off to do that since he saw most of them were at Tony's house.  Tony had video games so the kids loved to spend the hot afternoons at his place.  Xander went into the house, turning on the air conditioner and settling in the living room.  Horatio came in.  "We talked about how the people who made him didn't want mommies."

"Good.  Did we disclose more things?"

"The reverend said it was the same people he used to work with, not me."

"That'll save it."

Xander grinned.  "Didn't you get the email saying that everyone knew?"

"Well, yes, but they can still get vindictive."

"The director of NCIS is presently in a mental institution," Tony said as he joined them with the rest of the kids.  "Did you want Speed too?"

"Depends, is Dougie asking about his mother?"  Tony nodded.  "Then we can explain it to him too."  They called him over and the other fathers came too.  "We've been having a lot of talk about mothers thanks to Reverend Finet's sister Emma.  Who thinks we're all gay and going to hell," he said dryly, giving them looks.  "So today, Liam and I went to talk to the Reverend so he could explain to her and Liam about why he didn't have a mommy."

"Because we're *SO* special that they decided that daddies were going to be good enough for us," Liam said happily, beaming at the others.  Dougie smiled back.  Rebecca pouted.  "The people who gave us to the daddies decided that they were special too, that they could do mommy and daddy things because they're so great."

Xander nodded. "They did."

Tony grinned back.  "I do make a mean batch of brownies.  Speed does do the kissing boo- boos very well too."

"I learned from Alexx," he said dryly.  "Speaking of, she's coming up soon."  Everyone shrugged at that.  "Okay, fair warning about the fussing one."  He looked at Liam.  "What else did he tell you?"

"That usually people do have mommies but that Daddies might give us step... what's a stepmommy, daddy?"  He looked at Horatio.

"That is when your father marries someone other than your birth mother," he said calmly.  "And he's right, some day some of you might have stepmothers if any of us marry someone."

Liam pouted. "You not marry Daddy?"

Horatio smiled.  "That's something we'd have to work out in the future, Liam.  Not right now."

"Okay.  Maybe later?  Like bedtime?"

"Maybe later, like when you're ten or so," Xander corrected.  "Far later, not tonight later."  Liam sighed but nodded, grimacing some.  "So we thought you should all know what the Reverend said so there's no more fights about mothers.  Am I clear?"  They all nodded.  "Does anyone have any more questions?"

Rebecca hopped up.  "Nice lady at church say we have to have mommies somewhere, or else we couldn't be borned."

"Someone did give birth to you," Tony agreed, picking her up to cuddle her.  "The people...  How do I explain this to you?"

Speed cleared his throat.  "Rebecca, the people who gave you to us decided who was going to be your parents.  They're the ones who made you be born."  She nodded slowly at that.  "They put...  Did you watch the show with the horses the other night?  How they were putting one horse into another mother?"  She beamed and nodded.  "Well, they did that to you."

"In a horsie?  Like pony?" Liam asked, looking confused.  He loved his pony friend but was she his mother?

"No, he put you into a female person but they're still not considered your mother.  Like the horse that gave birth to the other horse, it wasn't his mother, it was a surrogate.  That's someone who has a baby for someone else.  I know it's a big word but it's someone who gave birth to you guys so we could have you."

"Oh," the kids said, staring at each other.  "We meet them?" Rachel asked.

Xander shook his head.  "We've never found records of who did that, Rachel.  If we had, we might've talked to them for you."  She pouted.  "Not just for you, but all of you."

She nodded.  Liam pounced her.  "Daddy said he loved you so much he 'dopted you because he knew your daddies couldn't take care of you.  That you needed love and he had lots of love to give so he 'dopted you so you're my sisser.  No matter what you're just like Becca and all the others."

She beamed.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he agreed happily.  He smiled at his father.  "Right?"

"I did."  He gave them both a hug.  "When you're teenagers and you're able to understand the science stuff that's in the notes, we'll explain it better, okay, guys?  Can this hold you that far?"  They all nodded.  "Thank you.  Any other questions?"  They all shook their heads.  "Then why don't we take a nap?"

The kids cackled and ran back outside, heading back to Tony's.  Tony took off at a run to protect his things from the horde.

"Good job," Speed said with a grin.  "The reverend's sister?"

"He told her not to say things like that around the kids.  Even though she believes we're all gay and going to hell for having kids together she'll lay off the kids.  He's also very tolerant.  His thoughts of gay people were 'he couldn't believe God would make them that way without a reason' and left it there.  His sister wasn't pleased but oh well."

"So we'll be fine if the daddies do get together," Eric decided.

Xander grinned.  "The Sheriff keeps hinting too."

"Only in your case; he wants me to meet his sister," Horatio said with a smile.  "He thinks you should settle down before you make another pond."

"Lay off the pond.  It's pretty and necessary."  He frowned at him. "A thought came to me.  We have a whole orchard that's going to need to be picked bare in a few weeks."  They all groaned. "Anyone have any ideas what the hell we're doing with them?"

"You could send them to Buffy," Eric offered dryly.

"I could but then we wouldn't have any."

"True."  He shrugged.  "I don't know.  We can see.  How much is there?"

"One acre of the lands is the orchard," Xander told him.  They all gaped.  "Mostly apples and citrus stuff, Eric.  A few nut trees."

"Well, we can keep the apples but please remember Catty's got a citrus allergy?" Eric asked.  Everyone nodded.  "Thanks, guys.  Can we go look?"  Xander nodded.  "Would you want to send some to Buffy?"  Xander shrugged.  "Okay.  Then we'll figure that out.  Take what we want and then deal with the rest."  They all nodded and went to look together since Tony had the kids and Xander wanted a nap.

***

Far, far away, Buffy got a delivery notice a few weeks later.  She beamed and bounced down to where the ship offloaded, looking at the guys unloading.  "Did Xander send me more guns and stuff?" she asked happily.

"No, yours is fragile but there's a lot.  You should probably get Doctor McKay since you're part of SGA-1 now, Miss Summers."

"Okay."  She bounced back to the labs to get him.  "The delivery crew guy said to come get you because Xander sent fragile stuff this time.  He wouldn't tell me what but he said since I'm on your team you should look at it."

He let out a sigh.  Must everything be dramatic with this one?  "Fine," he said, following her back there.  He took the manifest, staring at it.  "He sent her what?"

The captain smirked at him.  "He sent her what.  Plus a few more grenades and something he was working on."  He nodded.  "Want to scan it?  He said it's from his orchard."

"All citrus I'm sure," he said grimly.

"Nope, there's a box here with just your name on it, Doctor McKay."  He handed over the larger than average box.  "The rest?"

"I'll alert Doctor Weir," he said, walking off.  "Stay, Buffy."  He went up to her office with his box.  "Buffy and Willow's friend Xander sent more things."

"How does he get so many weapons?" she demanded.

"No one's sure but this time it's the extra fruit from his orchard in Georgia."  She ran off to look.  He took the box back to his quarters to open it in private.  He found a few gizmos on top, pausing to look at one.  "That's....  That's a plasma bomb?"  He looked at the tag on it and nodded.  "Someone gave him a prototype plasma bomb.  Interesting."  He found a layer of ice packs and a note taped to the top of one, opening it.  //I know what food allergies are like.  Catty has a citrus allergy too.  We didn't want you to be bummed because the others got fresh fruit and you couldn't, since we sent most of the citrus stuff - don't want anyone to get scurvy or anything, right - so I thought you'd like these instead.  Xander and the kids who'll someday terrorize your universe too.//   He smiled at the thoughtful gesture and moved the very useful refreezable cold packs.  Then he gaped.  He laughed.  He had a good bushel of apples and nuts.  That's why the box had been so heavy.  He smiled and grabbed one to look at.  "Homegrown, no preservatives, no chemicals because the boy doesn't know about them."  He washed it then bit into it, moaning in pleasure.  They didn't often get fresh fruit on Atlantis and it was very sweet of him.  He went back to his lab with his apple, making sure to lock his door.  John Sheppard gave him a pitiful look.  "Buffy got sent some from Xander."  He ran that way.  "Thank you for letting me get back to work," he called after him.

John peeked into the delivery area.  "How much stuff, Buffy?"

"A good six or seven cases of citrus stuff," she said happily.  "What did Rodney get?"

"Apples apparently."

She smiled at that.  "Catty has a citrus allergy too."  She looked at Doctor Weir.  "You can have most of them but I get some.  We can maybe even plant some?"

"I can see us doing that," she agreed happily.  She gave her the smallest box, one that said it only went to Buffy and her team.  The rest got taken to the mess hall so the cooks could bow at her feet graciously and thank her for it.  They all stared at first.  "Buffy's friend Xander has an orchard on his farm.  He sent us what they couldn't use because he has a daughter with a citrus allergy."  They fell over each other getting into the crates.  "Save some for the botanists to start cultivating our own," she ordered.  They nodded and paged them to come up and get them.  She walked off smiling, finding McKay in a good mood with his apple.  "He sent you special stuff?"

"Non-citrus products since he knows I'm allergic.  Very thoughtful.  Plus some reusable cold packs."  She smirked at that.  "Packed around the fruit so it wouldn't spoil.  I'll hand those to Doctor Cranky up the hall."

"I'll let him know."  She went to do that, finding John was delivering some of those.  "Buffy's was packed in it too?"

"It was.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  McKay got apples."

He smiled.  "That means he won't fuss," he said quietly.  He walked off happier.  "McKay, want me to get the cold packs for Beckett?"

"I've got my quarters locked."  He went with him to get them, and bring the weapons back to look over.  John gave few an odd look.  "Someone gave him prototypes."

"Maybe we should recruit them."

"Depends on if they work or not."  He gave him a look.  "I'll save some of the seeds for cultivation."

"Thanks."   He walked the new pile of cold packs off to the medical bay.  "Here's the ones from McKay's present pack, Carson."

"Thank you," he said in his Scottish accent.  "Put them in the freezer please."  John did that.  "They'll come in handy around here."

"They usually do," he agreed happily.  A very useful present for everyone, nearly as good as the fruit was.  "Did you hear?  Xander sent Buffy a lot of his orchard's output."  The doctor's head popped up from looking in his microscope.  He smirked.  "Some citrus stuff.  McKay got apples and it looked like some nuts."

"Good!  That's a thoughtful man, that one."  He went to get his own before they had to make it spread out to feed so many people.  The botanists were already picking over some of them to get good specimens.  "Any grapefruit?"  Three were handed over.  "Thank ya."  He walked off with them and an orange he had snatched from someone's pile.  A very good present for everyone.  They could use the fruit and the rind would flavor things for a good, long time.  It'd be good for them.

Buffy skipped in wearing a new outfit.  "What do we think, Doc?"

He looked then nearly choked on his next breath.  "I think yer gonna be spanked, young lady."

She grinned.  "Flirting, doc.  Flirting."  She went to find her boyfriend, earning a dirty look.  "Xander sent it."

"He misjudged your size."

"He said it's good for making you growl."  She beamed.  "Which you are."  He picked her up and walked her off to make her change, which usually evolved into hot sex.  Which was her intention.  Xander knew *just* the right present to get a girl.

McKay saw them go past, shaking his head.  Someone was going to get spanked.  Ronon was the jealous sort.  Very, very jealous sort.  He dug into his second apple, letting the botanist who came in looking pitiful have the first one's core.  "Seeds?"

He nodded and took them to start the cultivating.  They could use fresh fruit more often.  Apples generally did very well no matter where they were planted.  The citrus would have be grown in a hothouse, but that was fine.  They had one.  A good, large one so they'd have plenty over the years they'd be there.  It was a great gift.  Especially when Buffy dug into her box and found seed packets underneath with a big 'I don't know if you can use it, but maybe you can since you guys complained about the food' sign on it.  She went to hand it to the botanists once she was redressed in something more decent, leaving a sleeping boyfriend in her bed.  Then she skipped back, stripped, and crawled back in.  It was a great day off.  Even if Willow would pout at her to get some of her treats.  Xander's note said she had to share.

The rest of the people on Atlantis were happy that night when they came in to dinner and found fresh fruit cobbler for dessert.  It was a rare treat.

***

Xander looked around the farm, smiling in contentment.  Everyone was still asleep.  Even Liam, which was amazing.  It was a beautiful morning. Nothing bad was going on.  Even thinking that nothing bad was going on wasn't bringing something bad.  It was the perfect start to a beautiful day and he was going to enjoy it.  The kids were going to daycare again today.  Eric had wanted to mow for him.  The barn was cleaned out and the pony was actually sleeping in her open stall.  The pond looked good today on water levels.  No one had a leak anywhere, no one was setting off their smoke detectors.  He smiled when he saw the sheriff's truck pull up from the road, waving at him, walking down to meet him before he could get out.  "Not even Liam's up yet," he said happily.

"I'm surprised."  He grinned back.  "Happy today?"

"Eric's going to mow, the kids are going to daycare.  For some reason I got a check for each kid this month.  I got paid back for my ex's stunts finally.  I'm having a very happy day."

The Sheriff grinned and nodded.  "Good.  Think I could borrow someone?"

"Ask.  You need them now?"

"Later.  Mayberry's out with his son's teething."  Xander nodded, understanding why.  "For probably the rest of the week."

"Hey, ask.  See who'll go.  I know we have a mini-think tank out here of CSI and science stuff."  That got a nod and another smirk.  "Anything else?"

"Not yet.  Any new presents?"  Xander walked into the barn and came out with the bound young woman.  "Why didn't you call?"

"We decided menial labor would cure her.  Horatio spotted her when Liam got him up.  Unfortunately no one snuck off their handcuffs."  He winked and headed back to his porch swing, smiling when no one pounced him.  Not even Liam.  He waved as the older man took the annoyance off.  The pony came out to graze, giving him a gentle snort.  "Liam's with his father," he said quietly when she walked closer.  She let him pet her then went to graze by Horatio's trailer.  She did love the boy.  Maybe Liam would be a vet some day.  He looked down at the hellhound puppy that appeared next to him, giving her a head scratch.  "Bored?"  She laid down next to him, getting comfy for a nap in the shade.  "You know, you could go guard the Buffy and her team.  They could use you.  They have evil space vampires," he said quietly.  The hellhound stared at him.  He nodded. "Even worse than Angel."  The dog growled and disappeared.  He smiled.  It was another thoughtful gift.  She'd keep Buffy out of trouble and help McKay when he got into it.  Or maybe they'd send her to help Danny for a while.  Either was possible.  He took another sip of his coffee and enjoyed the early morning.  It was very nice.  A good new life.

The End.